A Spider Came Out of the Toilet (2 Viewers)

[Chadstroma]

The other day, a big ole wolf spider came crawled out from under the inner ledge of the toilet bowl as I was peeing.

I can not stop being paranoid about sitting on the toilet now.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

I know this isn't what you want to hear right now, but you need to burn your house down. It's the only way to be sure.

 

[KingPrawn]

The other day, a big ole wolf spider came crawled out from under the inner ledge of the toilet bowl as I was peeing.

I can not stop being paranoid about sitting on the toilet now.

Whats the big deal? As long as he washed his hands when finished.

 

[Chadstroma]

I know this isn't what you want to hear right now, but you need to burn your house down. It's the only way to be sure.

You are 100% right because what I want to hear right now is the best way to burn down the house.

 

[ChiefD]

I know this isn't what you want to hear right now, but you need to burn your house down. It's the only way to be sure.

You are 100% right because what I want to hear right now is the best way to burn down the house.

Use paint thinner. Burns clean and every house has paint thinner. Make sure you ignite it near other paint cans. Store the cans near the water heater so insurance will just chalk it up to a stupid homeowner.

 

[Long Ball Larry]

And frightened miss muffet away.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

And frightened miss muffet away.

As a great poet once wrote:

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And said, "Hey, what's in the bowl, *****?

 

[KarmaPolice]

The other day, a big ole wolf spider came crawled out from under the inner ledge of the toilet bowl as I was peeing.

I can not stop being paranoid about sitting on the toilet now.

One way to tackle the issue would be to stand while peeing.

 

[Dezbelief]

Pffft wolf spiders, in the days of outhouses men died disproportionately from black widow bites.

 

[Chadstroma]

Pffft wolf spiders, in the days of outhouses men died disproportionately from black widow bites.

Why would it be disproportionately?

 

[Dezbelief]

Pffft wolf spiders, in the days of outhouses men died disproportionately from black widow bites.

Why would it be disproportionately?

When sitting men have something dangling. When bitten there the venom isn't far from a mainline to the heart.

 

[gianmarco]

I know this isn't what you want to hear right now, but you need to burn your house down. It's the only way to be sure.

You are 100% right because what I want to hear right now is the best way to burn down the house.

My link

 

[Dezbelief]

Don't worry though wolf spiders aren't venomous and don't bite humans very often.

Hmm I wonder if the wolf spider was hunting a black widow that got away.

 

[gianmarco]

I know this isn't what you want to hear right now, but you need to burn your house down. It's the only way to be sure.

You are 100% right because what I want to hear right now is the best way to burn down the house.

Use paint thinner. Burns clean and every house has paint thinner. Make sure you ignite it near other paint cans. Store the cans near the water heater so insurance will just chalk it up to a stupid homeowner.

Are you talking to Chad or the spider?

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

Don't worry though wolf spiders aren't venomous and don't bite humans very often.

Hmm I wonder if the wolf spider was hunting a black widow that got away.

Uh-oh.

Well played.

 

[parasaurolophus]

Wolf spiders are adaptable to various habitats and can be found virtually anywhere there are insects for them to eat. Nocturnal ground hunters (they do not spin webs to catch prey), wolf spiders can be found in open grasslands and fields, suburban backyards, wooded areas, wet coastal forests, and in vegetation along streams, lakes and marshes. Wolf spiders will sometimes burrow in the ground. In colder weather, they seek warmer habitats. In preparation for extreme cold they will follow the scent of methane and often burrow deep in decaying logs where they will reside in a state of brumation until early spring.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

Wolf spiders are adaptable to various habitats and can be found virtually anywhere there are insects for them to eat. Nocturnal ground hunters (they do not spin webs to catch prey), wolf spiders can be found in open grasslands and fields, suburban backyards, wooded areas, wet coastal forests, and in vegetation along streams, lakes and marshes. Wolf spiders will sometimes burrow in the ground. In colder weather, they seek warmer habitats. In preparation for extreme cold they will follow the scent of methane and often burrow deep in decaying logs where they will reside in a state of brumation until early spring.

Nerd.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I know this isn't what you want to hear right now, but you need to burn your house down. It's the only way to be sure.

You are 100% right because what I want to hear right now is the best way to burn down the house.

Use paint thinner. Burns clean and every house has paint thinner. Make sure you ignite it near other paint cans. Store the cans near the water heater so insurance will just chalk it up to a stupid homeowner.

Put a propane tank in the flash point radius.

 

[zamboni]

Wolf spiders

• A distinct Union Jack impression on its back

Closet Def Leppard fans.

Probably Duran Duran as well.

 

[Chadstroma]

Wolf spiders are adaptable to various habitats and can be found virtually anywhere there are insects for them to eat. Nocturnal ground hunters (they do not spin webs to catch prey), wolf spiders can be found in open grasslands and fields, suburban backyards, wooded areas, wet coastal forests, and in vegetation along streams, lakes, marshes and toilets. Wolf spiders will sometimes burrow in the ground. In colder weather, they seek warmer habitats. In preparation for extreme cold they will follow the scent of methane and often burrow deep in decaying logs where they will reside in a state of brumation until early spring.

Fixed it for you

 

[KingPrawn]

Wolf spiders are adaptable to various habitats and can be found virtually anywhere there are insects for them to eat. Nocturnal ground hunters (they do not spin webs to catch prey), wolf spiders can be found in open grasslands and fields, suburban backyards, wooded areas, wet coastal forests, and in vegetation along streams, lakes and marshes. Wolf spiders will sometimes burrow in the ground. In colder weather, they seek warmer habitats. In preparation for extreme cold they will follow the scent of methane and often burrow deep in decaying logs where they will reside in a state of brumation until early spring.

Maybe the OP needs to flush a little more often

 

[dickey moe]

Hope you didn't tell your wife.

 

[dickey moe]

My father told me a story that he had to stay in a cheap motel once while on a business trip, and after settling in he saw a huge wolf spider crawling up one of the walls. He smashed it with his shoe, and then he said about a hundred little wolf spiders scattered that had been carried on momma's back. He ran out to the front desk to explain and ask for another room and they said they didn't need have any other rooms available. He then packed up his **** and left for another motel.

 

[dgreen]

Pffft wolf spiders, in the days of outhouses men died disproportionately from black widow bites.

Why would it be disproportionately?

When sitting men have something dangling. When bitten there the venom isn't far from a mainline to the heart.

I’ve always said the way to my heart is through my penis.

 

[Chadstroma]

Hope you didn't tell your wife.

Good gawd man.... do you think I am daft?

If I told her I would completing a whole new bathroom renovation this weekend.

 

[eoMMan]

Skibidibi Toilet Spider?

 

[WDIK2]

The biggest non-tarantula spider I have saw was a wolf spider in north central Nebraska. Was camping with the kids and found it under the corner of the tent when we were packing up. Google tells me their legs can span up to 3". This one was bigger.

 

[Chadstroma]

Skibidibi Toilet Spider?

No cap

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

I just checked my basement toilet before I used it.

Thanks for unlocking a childhood fear I already fixed once.

 

[Chadstroma]

I just checked my basement toilet before I used it.

Thanks for unlocking a childhood fear I already fixed once.

Always at your service!

Next week I will share how there really was a boogie man hiding downstairs for the light to go out and grab you if you didn't run super fast up the stairs.

 

[Chadstroma]

I started to get back to normal. Being able to sit on the toilet without inspecting the toilet..... then, in my other bathroom, I saw his little brother on the wall and that sent me right back into paranoia mode.

Our pest people came today so maybe that will put me at ease?

 

[El Floppo]

Related..

https://imgur.com/xIcYjXk

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

Related..

https://imgur.com/xIcYjXk

We now need a horror emoji. That's John Carpenter level.

 

[TheAristocrat]

I started to get back to normal. Being able to sit on the toilet without inspecting the toilet..... then, in my other bathroom, I saw his little brother on the wall and that sent me right back into paranoia mode.

Our pest people came today so maybe that will put me at ease?

Vamonos Pest?

 

[Chadstroma]

Related..

https://imgur.com/xIcYjXk

Geebus. Well... that confirms it. I will never scuba dive.

 

[SWC]

any spider that knows whats good for it automatically gets the hell out of toilet dodge when i sit down and go to work take that to the bank brohans

 

[odin33]

Wife came out of the bathroom last night all in a panic. WTF... Go in there and look. Um ok. Sure enough a relatively large spider was in the bowl. Instantly thought of this thread.

 

[SWC]

along came a spider and laid down a slider take that to the bank bromigos

 

[Hot Diggity Dog]

Count your blessings, many worse things could come out of a toilet.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

Rats and snakes leap to mind.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Rats and snakes leap to mind.

Both good ones but how about the flushed baby gators that come back and bite people in the ***?

 

[Chadstroma]

I was in the hospital from Monday to Thursday. Finally home. Had my first poo today and realized after I was done that I didn't even think about the damn spider. I guess that is the silver lining of being in a lot of pain?

 

[El Floppo]

I was in the hospital from Monday to Thursday. Finally home. Had my first poo today and realized after I was done that I didn't even think about the damn spider. I guess that is the silver lining of being in a lot of pain?

Congrats?

 

[dickey moe]

any spider that knows whats good for it automatically gets the hell out of toilet dodge when i sit down and go to work take that to the bank brohans

Laughing poop emoji

 

[Chadstroma]

I was in the hospital from Monday to Thursday. Finally home. Had my first poo today and realized after I was done that I didn't even think about the damn spider. I guess that is the silver lining of being in a lot of pain?

Congrats?

 

[Sand]

Pffft wolf spiders, in the days of outhouses men died disproportionately from black widow bites.

Black widow takes up residence at Chad's house.

 

[Chadstroma]

Pffft wolf spiders, in the days of outhouses men died disproportionately from black widow bites.

Black widow takes up residence at Chad's house.

Is that a dead rat that the spider is feeding on?

 

[Sand]

Pffft wolf spiders, in the days of outhouses men died disproportionately from black widow bites.

Black widow takes up residence at Chad's house.

Is that a dead rat that the spider is feeding on?

And a bat next to the rat.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

Must be Shelob.

 

[FarFromHome]

I know the feeling. We moved to the south a few years ago. One of our earlier nights we went to bed and in our bed was a damn rat snake. Horrible. Horrible. For a year I couldnt get in bed without shaking out blankets. Horrible. We moved from Hawaii, that has zero snakes, it was the first snake id seen for literally decades. Scholars explained to me how harmless and good for the area these rat snakes are. Horrible. Ha ha