IC FBGCav
Footballguy
I am taking a shot in the dark here but I am guessing you don't get along well with people in general but especially not your family.
Don't wake my kid up. It's really not that difficult.
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Are my parents morons or am I "disrespectful" (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter AcerFC
- Start date
I get along very well with my family. Although I'm basing my responses on the fact that there's a big backstory here too. Acer has already said there's a ton that happened between his parents and his wife. At some point enough is enough and if they are injecting drama into my life I just wouldn't deal with it anymore.
Drunken knight
Footballguy
When we are at a function, mrs and i communicate with each other that we are about ready to leave. We allow X amount of time for goodbyes. With a sleeping child, we would have the other make rounds. Just a common courtesy to thank the hosts (the rest are optional, but we do so anyway).
That being said, it seems that your parents are being manipulative and petty about this. There were other opportunities to provide their gift. Not ok to make your child/children stir. We have gone through this with my mother. I believe it is my mother's hope that the child wakes enough to have some interaction. My mother is also guilty of extended goodbyes. Let the sleeping child rest.
That being said, it seems that your parents are being manipulative and petty about this. There were other opportunities to provide their gift. Not ok to make your child/children stir. We have gone through this with my mother. I believe it is my mother's hope that the child wakes enough to have some interaction. My mother is also guilty of extended goodbyes. Let the sleeping child rest.
comfortably numb
Footballguy
Have to say, this is pretty odd.
Saying goodbye to bride and groom is very customary in our family.
Godsbrother
Footballguy
If it were me I would have taken a minute to tell them I was leaving but I get that you were tired and had sleeping kids so I don't fault you for not saying goodbye.
However I think your response to your Dad was crappy. All you had to say was "Sorry Dad but the kids were sleeping and I wanted to get them home quickly".
However I think your response to your Dad was crappy. All you had to say was "Sorry Dad but the kids were sleeping and I wanted to get them home quickly".
AcerFC
Footballguy
culdeus
Footballguy
There are lots of both regional and religious customs that govern behavior in these events. Take the lead of the other guests, but it's just not something I've observed in the south.
In theory the bride is dancing at the end of the party, you gonna go break that up to say bye?
Rick James
Footballguy
The bride/groom discussion is way overblown here. Weddings are so unique I don't think there's one answer. I don't recall having a bunch of people telling me goodbye at my wedding, probably because I was too busy dazzling my bride on the dance floor.
The parents are being knobs. Maybe it's odd that Acer didn't say goodbye, but with it being so late plus the fact that he sees them every week? Whatever, not a big deal.
Those who demand respect aren't worthy of it, imo
The parents are being knobs. Maybe it's odd that Acer didn't say goodbye, but with it being so late plus the fact that he sees them every week? Whatever, not a big deal.
Those who demand respect aren't worthy of it, imo
Zegras11
Footballguy
so send a snarky text instead of just sending a text goodbye and making the situation worse.
I get along very well with my family. Although I'm basing my responses on the fact that there's a big backstory here too. Acer has already said there's a ton that happened between his parents and his wife. At some point enough is enough and if they are injecting drama into my life I just wouldn't deal with it anymore.
Peyton Marino
Footballguy
Coming from someone who's never been much for social pleasantries/conventions and loves the Irish goodbye:
I feel like you gotta say goodbye as you're leaving a family wedding. You can take a pass here because of the sleeping kid, but you have to explain yourself and apologize later.
IMO
I feel like you gotta say goodbye as you're leaving a family wedding. You can take a pass here because of the sleeping kid, but you have to explain yourself and apologize later.
IMO
bostonfred
Footballguy
Your parents aren't morons for calling you out for it. They clearly expected you to stop by before you left and that's a pretty normal expectation.
You didn't do anything that wrong either. It's also expected that parents of small children will leave "early" and leave before 1030pm.
They could have used a nicer tone with you.
But if this bothers you then you should never have sent that reply. You escalated it with your response. You probably should apologize for that. A call or visit to say hi sorry we left without saying goodbye but it was really late. How are you. If that doesn't suffice tell them to go #### themselves, go in their house, and pour all of their shampoo out onto all of their toilet paper and leave it in the tub with the hot water turned on high because #### them.
You didn't do anything that wrong either. It's also expected that parents of small children will leave "early" and leave before 1030pm.
They could have used a nicer tone with you.
But if this bothers you then you should never have sent that reply. You escalated it with your response. You probably should apologize for that. A call or visit to say hi sorry we left without saying goodbye but it was really late. How are you. If that doesn't suffice tell them to go #### themselves, go in their house, and pour all of their shampoo out onto all of their toilet paper and leave it in the tub with the hot water turned on high because #### them.
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
kentric
Footballguy
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Looks like you picked the wrong day to start sniffing glue.
Thorn
Footballguy
Again there is more to this story. OP has said there's a lengthy backstory including where his parents wouldn't talk to his wife because she isn't Jewish. If this was a one time situation my opinion would be different.
tri-man 47
Footballguy
Yeah, a quick good-bye would have been the right move. But they've overreacted with the above. They should have been helping with the kids at that late hour or at least anticipating you'd be leaving. The better concluding line should have simply been "Sorry we missed you!"
General Malaise
Footballguy
I'm the master of the Irish hello. I just show up unexpectedly and usually uninvitedly. Just saunter over to the bar and act like I've always been there.
TLEF316
Footballguy
I'm definitely someone who thinks a lot of "social courtesies" like this are a bit silly (especially when its someone you're going to see again in 3 days). And the long elaborate goodbye while holding a sleeping child would certainly be incredibly annoying. And if the end result was going to be a giant loud ordeal waking up the kid, I'd be pissed
But the escalation with the snarky text reply didnt do anyone any good. I get that there is history here, so its not fair to judge either side.
But the escalation with the snarky text reply didnt do anyone any good. I get that there is history here, so its not fair to judge either side.
E-Z Glider
Footballguy
So everyone at the wedding sneaks out one-by-one without saying goodbye to the bride? Would be hilariously awesome.
James Daulton
Footballguy
Both parties seem uptight. Should have said goodbye, parents should have understood if you didn't.
kentric
Footballguy
Agree with you here, but a quick, "Mom/Dad, have to hop. See you again soon." Would take all of 5 seconds.
If you know it is a bugaboo for your folks then I suggest you just try to appease. Keeps things on an even keel.
Waingro
Footballguy
If the bolded is a common form of communication from them then I can understand how frustrating this relationship can be for you.
It's a selfish statement, they're making the situation about them. And worse it's a statement that's directed to make you feel ashamed. Which can be very hurtful especially when coming from ones parent.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Was this a sober reception? everybody seems uptight, and not in the good Stevie Wonder way.
IC FBGCav
Footballguy
coyote5
Footballguy
again there's a major history with his parents being difficult. Continuously appeasing them and letting things go is just making his life more stressful.
Chemical X
Footballguy
are you texting with the president?
OrtonToOlsen
Footballguy
Why do people care about "goodbyes"?
"Where are Jim and Kim?"
"They left about 10 minutes ago."
"Oh."
FIN
"Where are Jim and Kim?"
"They left about 10 minutes ago."
"Oh."
FIN
AAABatteries
Footballguy
You're a monster.
FTR, I could see leaving a wedding without telling the bride and groom goodbye if they are busy. I couldn't see a scenario where I wouldn't at least make my parents aware I'm leaving but it's not a huge deal. The part of this I'm a little baffled with is waking the kid - I guess I just got lucky with my kids but I could always wake them at any time and it was really never a problem. I wouldn't go out of my way to wake them up and I definitely wouldn't intentionally wake them just to say goodbye but my kids would immediately go back to sleep in the car, if they wake up it was no big deal.
kentric
Footballguy
OrtonToOlsen
Footballguy
Probably.
But I don't think I've ever cared about somebody NOT saying goodbye. In fact, I don't think I've ever even thought about it.
"Jim and Kim left? Without telling ME goodbye?!? The nerve!"
Seems very self-centered.
OrtonToOlsen
Footballguy
Isn't the whole job of the Jewish mother to cause shame? I think everyone is playing their part perfectly in this scenario. 
Say goodbye to your parents. Thank those that invited you. Ignoring everyone with the 'sleeping child' excuse is lame, imho. Yes, doing a round of good-byes is not fun and I'd rather just ditch plenty of things I attend, but it IS disrespectful.
Say goodbye to your parents. Thank those that invited you. Ignoring everyone with the 'sleeping child' excuse is lame, imho. Yes, doing a round of good-byes is not fun and I'd rather just ditch plenty of things I attend, but it IS disrespectful.
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comfortably numb
Footballguy
OrtonToOlsen
Footballguy
OrtonToOlsen
Footballguy
Do all you weirdos tip your hats to ladies? Stand up when a woman walks into a room? Answer the phone with "Ahoy"? Ask a woman's father if you can call on her?
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
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