I've got another dog poop situation.
First, I have a dog, a big dog, who takes big craps. And he won't poop in our yard. So, fine, actually works out better. Poops on his walk every day, and I pick it up 100 percent of the time. If I happen to walk by a dumpster at like an apartment building or a garbage can at a park, I'll toss it in. Otherwise it comes home and eventually goes in our outdoor garbage can.
Here's where it gets peevish.
Because I don't want the smell of dog crap overpowering my garage, we keep our garbage can outside next to the garage up against a fence. Now, another eccentricity, I'm sure, is that we don't throw the poop bags into our garbage can right away. Why? Because then they get smashed by the garbage bags and stick in the bottom of the can and don't fall out when trash man comes.
So I'm sure that puts me in a Progressive commercial already, but I have my reasons. So the poop bags sit in a pile next to and behind the garbage can until garbage day. Then I throw them inside on top and roll the can down my driveway and place on sidewalk. But garbage man doesn't usually come until late afternoon, so many times, people will walk by on garbage day and throw their poop bag inside my can.
Now, I find that unacceptable, but that's not even where I'm going with this. I would never in a million years open someone else's can and throw poop on top. And, yes, I know it's on public property at that point and why should I care, yadda, yadda, yadda. It's an abomination.
HOWEVER, there's a new development. I have now discovered multiple instances of someone walking up my driveway on non-garbage days, going up to my can leaning up against my garage, apparently ignoring the pile of full poop bags sitting on the ground next to the can, opening my can and throwing their poop bags inside my can, sometimes on the bottom where they're bound to get stuck.
Now I'm not exaggerating at all when I say I would feel justified in murdering someone if I caught them doing it.
So I'm trying to decide if a 24-hour-a-day stakeout is warranted here until the criminal is apprehended. I think it is.