Is there any path back for us?.
She said she needed to figure out what she wanted and couldn't be in a relationship.
That is probably the end for me. I g
get it. I just have so many regrets. I want to try if there is a way
The responses you've received the last 12 hours have all been good. To summarize, there's no magical playbook here and, as has been stated dozens of times now for several valid reasons, the best approach to her now is radio silence and short, cordial responses (don't initiate).
FWIW, I do totally understand where you're coming from. I really do. Assuming you haven't responded to her text (please advise if you have), I know how much it's killing you to not speak with her and pour your heart out and hopefully that works. I felt the exact same way and it's what we have all seen in movies so we think it'll work. But, that's not reality.
In an effort to further explain, I'll give another embarrassing anecdote from my bad breakup to help explain potential outcomes and where, in the future, you will have regret (because it's not where you think). FWIW, this is probably buried in some thread on here because the way I dealt with this breakup was to use this board as my personal diary and to let out all those sappy feelings. Honestly, when I give younger me some credit, and in contrast to how badly I looked on this board (along with some sad nights before bed where I'd play dashboard confessional alone in my apartment), is that - consistent with advice you're getting on here - I didn't let the breakup disrupt my daily life. I was in law school at the time and I kept my grades from slipping, I still excelled at my student attorney job, and I made sure that I continued to play sports and workout daily. Put differently, I channeled the pain of the breakup that I was feeling (and let myself feel for far to long), to different compartments and didn't let it affect my overall life direction.
The above notwithstanding, I distinctly recall getting a text comparable to the one you did several months after the breakup This was after probably after at least two months of no contact - or, at the very least, none initiated by her. I can vividly recall being at a local bar with my roommates in a city I was working at for the summer. I had met a girl there that night that was, to my luck, very into me. I was talking to her when I received the text. Instead of focusing on this girl, I of course went and found a corner and responded to my ex's text. Her initial text was very similar to the one you got. I don't recall what I said, but it was probably along the lines of that I was doing fine but missed her and hoped she was well. Well, she was just having an off night and told me she missed me too (which, of course, was exactly what I wanted to hear so at this point I'd stupidly do anything she said). She asks if we could talk. Stupid me of course says sure, tells her I'm out, but that I'll walk home shortly. I go tell my friends/roommates and this girl that I'm heading back. The girl is clearly disappointed but tells me to make sure I stay up a bit late as she may come back to my place with my roommates. I'm barely paying attention and blow her off with a nod or whatever.
So, here I am, on a perfect night out walking back to my summer place by myself. I get back and get on the phone with the ex. Again, she's just having a rough night but she's giving me hope so I say all the things about how great she is, I probably apologize for my fault in the relationship, etc. We're on for at least an hour. About 45 minutes or so through the call, my bedroom door opens and it's the girl from the bar. I'm either seated or laying on my bed and this angel takes her top off and proceeds to get down on her hands and knees with a big grin on her and begins to slowly crawl towards me - like something straight out of a porno. Do I embrace this wonderful opportunity? Of course not - I quickly tell the ex to hang on and relatively curtly tell this girl, whose literally on her hands and knees at this point, that I'm on the phone and she needs to leave. She loses her big grin quickly, looks confused, says something like "I thought you liked me" and leaves nearly in tears. Thinking little of what just occurred, I re-focus on the call (thinking I'm some hero as I explained to the ex that I just turned down a girl to talk to her) and we finish our call. After the call I go out into the living room/front yard area to see who was still at the house. I see my roommates who ask me what happened as the girl left and told them I'm an idiot. I explain what happened and they look at me like I'm from Mars. I go to bed alone.
So, years later, in looking back and discussing this embarrassing moment with you in the context of regret, I can barely recall what I said on the phone last night. I'm sure it was all the nice things I wanted to say. But do you know what I regret? I regret that now obviously inevitable text the ex sent me the next morning thanking me for talking to her and making her feel better but that I shouldn't read anything into it and wishing me well (breaking my heart all over again). And, now as a happily married man but in a monogamous relationship where I don't have girls crawling on her hands and knees towards me and likely never will again, I most certainly regret not immediately hanging up that phone and exploring everything that barfly was willing to allow me to. That's what I regret.
ETA: My point is that, many years later, I don't regret the actions I took or what I said to try to save a relationship that, while important in my life and gave me lots of joy to go with the later sorrow, wasn't perfect. I do regret though that I let focusing on it disrupt me living my life.
Second eta/tl;dr - While it seems like talking to her on the phone now is everything you want, it shouldn't override you living your life and likely won't get you where you want to go and may cost you some porn-level sechs.
