Dining in groups (1 Viewer)

[Terminalxylem]

Finishing up vacation, including meeting up with groups of friends, I realized eating out may be a peeve. My general strategy:

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

Between people chatting and/or giving the appearance they weren’t ready, causing multiple delays, and one friend never accepting the meal choices presented, repeatedly revising her order, I welcome the return to dining at home.

One last thing: if you consistently finish your meal 10-20 minutes after everyone else in a group, you need to either adjust your eating pace, or talk less.

Thoughts?

 

[Leroy Hoard]

I always wondered if the soup nazi posted here.

 

[AAABatteries]

2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.

I‘d say at least 50% of the time I tell the waiter/waitress we are ready to order our food when they come for drink orders.

 

[AAABatteries]

Also, when I go with a group I’m there to spend time with friends/family. Why the rush?

 

[The Gator]

What's the rush?

 

[Don Quixote]

ne last thing: if you consistently finish your meal 10-20 minutes after everyone else in a group, you need to either adjust your eating pace, or talk less.

I’m a slow eater — nothing to do with socializing, and nothing I can do about pace. I’m just as slow in the privacy of my home. Just how I eat.

But I usually fill up quicker and don’t finish my meal. So, probably “give up” on my meal around same time that others finish. (Slower eating is supposedly healthier as it triggers the “full” signal quicker, but not intentional strategy to manage weight on my part.)

 

[Cowboysfan8]

Also, when I go with a group I’m there to spend time with friends/family. Why the rush?

What's the rush?

Yep

 

[jamny]

I don't give up my menu until after I ordered.

 

[Terminalxylem]

Also, when I go with a group I’m there to spend time with friends/family. Why the rush?

I prefer to spend QT while the food is being prepared, and after the meal.

 

[New Binky the Doormat]

Finishing up vacation, including meeting up with groups of friends, I realized eating out may be a peeve. My general strategy:

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

Between people chatting and/or giving the appearance they weren’t ready, causing multiple delays, and one friend never accepting the meal choices presented, repeatedly revising her order, I welcome the return to dining at home.

One last thing: if you consistently finish your meal 10-20 minutes after everyone else in a group, you need to either adjust your eating pace, or talk less.

Thoughts?

reaction.

 

[Terminalxylem]

ne last thing: if you consistently finish your meal 10-20 minutes after everyone else in a group, you need to either adjust your eating pace, or talk less.

I’m a slow eater — nothing to do with socializing, and nothing I can do about pace. I’m just as slow in the privacy of my home. Just how I eat.

But I usually fill up quicker and don’t finish my meal. So, probably “give up” on my meal around same time that others finish. (Slower eating is supposedly healthier as it triggers the “full” signal quicker, but not intentional strategy to manage weight on my part.)

Yeah, my wife is the second slowest eater I’ve encountered, second only to her dad.

I consistently spend 30-60 minutes watching them finish their meals. Waitstaff often tries to take their plates before they are finished.

You’re right about it being better for weight maintenance, but none of us are overweight.

 

[Hastur]

I'm with Term on this. All of it. Stop wasting time with ordering so you can use that time talking with who you are with. Also, trust the chef and keep menu changes to a bare minimum.

 

[massraider]

I'm with Term on this. All of it. Stop wasting time with ordering so you can use that time talking with who you are with. Also, trust the chef and keep menu changes to a bare minimum.

You may wanna check in with him and see if this "talking" is allowed.

 

[Terminalxylem]

I always wondered if the soup nazi posted here.

I may be Type A, a little.

Sometimes I have to force a more leisure persona in large groups. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

 

[General Malaise]

Think I'd be too nervous to dine with you.

 

[Scoresman]

I have a friend who I absolutely loathe dining out with because she cannot order something off the menu as is. She is the world’s most picky eater and she has no idea how insulting some of her requests are to the chefs.

She calls herself a foodie and says she loves dining out but whenever she gets a menu in front of her she gets this frown on her face and we just know she’s going to be going off with some stupid customizations or substitutions. Every damn time.

 

[Pip's Invitation]

Finishing up vacation, including meeting up with groups of friends, I realized eating out may be a peeve. My general strategy:

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

Between people chatting and/or giving the appearance they weren’t ready, causing multiple delays, and one friend never accepting the meal choices presented, repeatedly revising her order, I welcome the return to dining at home.

One last thing: if you consistently finish your meal 10-20 minutes after everyone else in a group, you need to either adjust your eating pace, or talk less.

Thoughts?

We have a whole other thread for pet peeves.

 

[General Malaise]

Finishing up vacation, including meeting up with groups of friends, I realized eating out may be a peeve. My general strategy:

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

Between people chatting and/or giving the appearance they weren’t ready, causing multiple delays, and one friend never accepting the meal choices presented, repeatedly revising her order, I welcome the return to dining at home.

One last thing: if you consistently finish your meal 10-20 minutes after everyone else in a group, you need to either adjust your eating pace, or talk less.

Thoughts?

We have a whole other thread for pet peeves.

It's just people arguing about ice cream now.

 

[shuke]

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.

 

[Terminalxylem]

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.

Relaxation is highly overrated. I got stuff to do!!!!

Regarding #4, my guiding principle is try not to be high maintenance. You should’ve noticed the incorrect order immediately, and can wait until the server checks in for nearly everything else.

ETA I realize this seems incongruent with my apparent impatience, but I loathe the idea of deserving special privilege even more than waiting a bit.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Finishing up vacation, including meeting up with groups of friends, I realized eating out may be a peeve. My general strategy:

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

Between people chatting and/or giving the appearance they weren’t ready, causing multiple delays, and one friend never accepting the meal choices presented, repeatedly revising her order, I welcome the return to dining at home.

One last thing: if you consistently finish your meal 10-20 minutes after everyone else in a group, you need to either adjust your eating pace, or talk less.

Thoughts?

#1 I agree
#2 I’m keeping my menu until I’ve ordered. But i will put it down on the table when I’m ready.
#3. Agreed.
#4 whut? This implies seemless proactive service. A rarity.

if we eat together, I'm gonna piss you off. I eat very slowly. It’s just how I eat. Rushing just doesn’t work For me.

 

[Osaurus]

Finishing up vacation, including meeting up with groups of friends, I realized eating out may be a peeve. My general strategy:

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

Between people chatting and/or giving the appearance they weren’t ready, causing multiple delays, and one friend never accepting the meal choices presented, repeatedly revising her order, I welcome the return to dining at home.

One last thing: if you consistently finish your meal 10-20 minutes after everyone else in a group, you need to either adjust your eating pace, or talk less.

Thoughts?

We have a whole other thread for pet peeves.

It's just people arguing about ice cream now.

SOFT SERVE!!!!

 

[MTskibum]

I get inpatient when I eat sometimes. Almost always ready to order when the waiter comes and gets the drink order, etc.

Your complaints are next level though, it seems your only option is divorce

 

[Pip's Invitation]

This reminds me of people who are always looking for ways to make their fantasy drafts go faster. Why? It’s supposed to be one of the most fun things we do all year. Why are you so bent on shortening it?

 

[NutterButter]

If you're the only one eating still, you get 5 minutes to finish up before I just hand your plate to the 1st server that passes and tell them to wrap it.

 

[Ilov80s]

Thoughts?

Lighten up and have fun. The point of going out to eat is with a group is to socialize, talk, have fun, etc.

 

[Ilov80s]

Think I'd be too nervous to dine with you.

Seriously, it’s basically the exact opposite of how I approach eating out (other than I also dislike people who are overly picky and demanding). I want dinner to go darn near as long as possible. A full drink before we even order. A drink after we eat. Then maybe coffee and dessert too. I mean, don’t you like the company of the people you are with?

 

[zamboni]

That strategy seems reasonable if you’re at a big group work dinner and can’t wait to get out there, but with friends, not so much.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Situational for me. Some people I’d spend hours with, others I want to get out of their as fast as possible

 

[Cowboysfan8]

Think I'd be too nervous to dine with you.

Seriously, it’s basically the exact opposite of how I approach eating out (other than I also dislike people who are overly picky and demanding). I want dinner to go darn near as long as possible. A full drink before we even order. A drink after we eat. Then maybe coffee and dessert too. I mean, don’t you like the company of the people you are with?

The only problem I have with our favorite local Italian place is the service is just too fast. Bread and peppers and drink order as soon as you sit down. Salad shows up with drinks and pretty much every time the entrees come before we are finished with our salads. I would definitely have another beer if you give me a chance. It has to be costing them $$. There’s never a wait, it’s a huge place so they’re not trying to flip tables quickly

 

[the moops]

I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one.

Would you really call the server over for a new napkin just because yours touched the ground?

 

[Hawks64]

Finishing up vacation, including meeting up with groups of friends, I realized eating out may be a peeve. My general strategy:

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

Between people chatting and/or giving the appearance they weren’t ready, causing multiple delays, and one friend never accepting the meal choices presented, repeatedly revising her order, I welcome the return to dining at home.

One last thing: if you consistently finish your meal 10-20 minutes after everyone else in a group, you need to either adjust your eating pace, or talk less.

Thoughts?

Seems like you shouldn't dine with friends very often. I'd hate to deal with someone in our group acting like this. We like to have a few drinks, talk and socialize, maybe grab some apps, and generally slow down and enjoy time with each other.

 

[Ilov80s]

Situational for me. Some people I’d spend hours with, others I want to get out of their as fast as possible

For sure, there are some times you get invited out and just want it to end quickly. Maybe something awkward for work or a relative that you aren't close with (for good reason). But I would still feel incredibly rude acting the way the OP outlined. You shouldn't make it seem like you just want the dinner to end as soon as possible.

 

[jvdesigns2002]

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.

This. When I go out to eat with friends or family, I’m not looking for getting in and out rapidly or efficiently. I’m looking for a relaxing time with great conversations and laughs. The last thing I want to do is somehow integrate a workman like set of guidelines to my leisure time.

 

[Cowboysfan8]

I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one.

Would you really call the server over for a new napkin just because yours touched the ground?

100% chance I would

 

[shuke]

I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one.

Would you really call the server over for a new napkin just because yours touched the ground?

I'm not using that napkin again. Depending on what I'm eating I'll wait or motion to them.

 

[Terminalxylem]

Thoughts?

Lighten up and have fun. The point of going out to eat is with a group is to socialize, talk, have fun, etc.

I enjoy rushing, actually. And being efficient. Plus I view eating out more as an opportunity to try new foods +/- beverages, versus the social aspect. Still, finding enough time to talk never seems to be a problem, at least in my eyes.

I should add for this trip, we were staying in the same place as the friends with whom we dined, so there was plenty of time to socialize, both before and after the meal.

But even if we parted ways, I still dislike wasting time ordering, changing menu items too much, and repeatedly demanding the waitstaff's attention. And it's inconsiderate to camp out at a restaurant if you've completed the meal - 90 minutes or so seems reasonable, imo. If you want to hang out with friends to drink, there are other venues for that.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one.

Would you really call the server over for a new napkin just because yours touched the ground?

100% chance I would

Same

 

[Terminalxylem]

Think I'd be too nervous to dine with you.

Seriously, it’s basically the exact opposite of how I approach eating out (other than I also dislike people who are overly picky and demanding). I want dinner to go darn near as long as possible. A full drink before we even order. A drink after we eat. Then maybe coffee and dessert too. I mean, don’t you like the company of the people you are with?

The only problem I have with our favorite local Italian place is the service is just too fast. Bread and peppers and drink order as soon as you sit down. Salad shows up with drinks and pretty much every time the entrees come before we are finished with our salads. I would definitely have another beer if you give me a chance. It has to be costing them $$. There’s never a wait, it’s a huge place so they’re not trying to flip tables quickly

Seems dreamy

 

[General Malaise]

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.

Hold up.....

Napkin? The thing you use to wipe off your hands? If that hits the ground you need a new one? What are you, British Royalty? It's a napkin, not a piece of gum.

 

[the moops]

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.

Hold up.....

Napkin? The thing you use to wipe off your hands? If that hits the ground you need a new one? What are you, British Royalty? It's a napkin, not a piece of gum.

thank you

 

[Terminalxylem]

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.

This. When I go out to eat with friends or family, I’m not looking for getting in and out rapidly or efficiently. I’m looking for a relaxing time with great conversations and laughs. The last thing I want to do is somehow integrate a workman like set of guidelines to my leisure time.

FTR, I'm not imposing guidelines on anyone, just positing the way I'd prefer things work. I realize I'm in a minority wrt time considerations, so I just grin and bear it 99.9% of the time.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.

Hold up.....

Napkin? The thing you use to wipe off your hands? If that hits the ground you need a new one? What are you, British Royalty? It's a napkin, not a piece of gum.

Yeah unless I’m in a saloon where there’s beer and peanut shells on the ground i have no problem using the floor napkin. Willing to bet about 90% of the time I’m dining anywhere that provides a cloth napkin it falls on the floor at least once.
And for the saloon example I’m probably just wiping my hands on my jeans anyway

 

[General Malaise]

I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one.

Would you really call the server over for a new napkin just because yours touched the ground?

I see this has been covered.

 

[General Malaise]

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.

Hold up.....

Napkin? The thing you use to wipe off your hands? If that hits the ground you need a new one? What are you, British Royalty? It's a napkin, not a piece of gum.

Yeah unless I’m in a saloon where there’s beer and peanut shells on the ground i have no problem using the floor napkin. Willing to bet about 90% of the time I’m dining anywhere that provides a cloth napkin it falls on the floor at least once.
And for the saloon example I’m probably just wiping my hands on my jeans anyway

If I'm eating at a place with paper napkins, I'll sometimes ask the server for a few extra napkins for the table. But not if I'm dining with OP, he might stab me with a fork if I did that.

Cloth napkin goes on the ground I reason the place is fancy enough for cloth, it's probably had a Hokey run under the tables, I'm good.

 

[gianmarco]

Thoughts?

Lighten up and have fun. The point of going out to eat is with a group is to socialize, talk, have fun, etc.

I enjoy rushing, actually. And being efficient. Plus I view eating out more as an opportunity to try new foods +/- beverages, versus the social aspect. Still, finding enough time to talk never seems to be a problem, at least in my eyes.

I should add for this trip, we were staying in the same place as the friends with whom we dined, so there was plenty of time to socialize, both before and after the meal.

But even if we parted ways, I still dislike wasting time ordering, changing menu items too much, and repeatedly demanding the waitstaff's attention. And it's inconsiderate to camp out at a restaurant if you've completed the meal - 90 minutes or so seems reasonable, imo. If you want to hang out with friends to drink, there are other venues for that.

I'm both, but I'm this way more than I'm not. There are situations where I'm not in any rush, enjoying company and the dining experience, etc. But, most of the time, I like being efficient. Not rushed, but just not lollygagging.

It also depends on what others are doing. If EVERYONE is taking their time, then I'm not going to get that bothered by it. But if everyone is ready to go and there's 1 person slowing everything down, then yeah, let's go. And I think that is more often the situation than me being the only one that wants to get things moving.

I'm the same way driving. I like driving. But I also hate wasting time, sitting at lights, not paying attention to others, etc .

 

[Terminalxylem]

Finishing up vacation, including meeting up with groups of friends, I realized eating out may be a peeve. My general strategy:

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

Between people chatting and/or giving the appearance they weren’t ready, causing multiple delays, and one friend never accepting the meal choices presented, repeatedly revising her order, I welcome the return to dining at home.

One last thing: if you consistently finish your meal 10-20 minutes after everyone else in a group, you need to either adjust your eating pace, or talk less.

Thoughts?

Seems like you shouldn't dine with friends very often. I'd hate to deal with someone in our group acting like this. We like to have a few drinks, talk and socialize, maybe grab some apps, and generally slow down and enjoy time with each other.

As I said, I'm not imposing my "rules" on others.

And we keep getting invited to do stuff, so I guess the wife must offset my party-pooping.

 

[Terminalxylem]

Thoughts?

Lighten up and have fun. The point of going out to eat is with a group is to socialize, talk, have fun, etc.

I enjoy rushing, actually. And being efficient. Plus I view eating out more as an opportunity to try new foods +/- beverages, versus the social aspect. Still, finding enough time to talk never seems to be a problem, at least in my eyes.

I should add for this trip, we were staying in the same place as the friends with whom we dined, so there was plenty of time to socialize, both before and after the meal.

But even if we parted ways, I still dislike wasting time ordering, changing menu items too much, and repeatedly demanding the waitstaff's attention. And it's inconsiderate to camp out at a restaurant if you've completed the meal - 90 minutes or so seems reasonable, imo. If you want to hang out with friends to drink, there are other venues for that.

I'm both, but I'm this way more than I'm not. There are situations where I'm not in any rush, enjoying company and the dining experience, etc. But, most of the time, I like being efficient. Not rushed, but just not lollygagging.

It also depends on what others are doing. If EVERYONE is taking their time, then I'm not going to get that bothered by it. But if everyone is ready to go and there's 1 person slowing everything down, then yeah, let's go. And I think that is more often the situation than me being the only one that wants to get things moving.

I'm the same way driving. I like driving. But I also hate wasting time, sitting at lights, not paying attention to others, etc .

Excellent points. It's not a binary scale of rushed versus relaxed/enjoyable. There are gradations of time management, and lallygagging outliers are not to be tolerated.

Unless you marry them.

 

[bigbottom]

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.

This. When I go out to eat with friends or family, I’m not looking for getting in and out rapidly or efficiently. I’m looking for a relaxing time with great conversations and laughs. The last thing I want to do is somehow integrate a workman like set of guidelines to my leisure time.

FTR, I'm not imposing guidelines on anyone, just positing the way I'd prefer things work. I realize I'm in a minority wrt time considerations, so I just grin and bear it 99.9% of the time.

I let go of most of my pet peeves 10 years ago and am so happy I did. It was a conscious decision - just said I was going to do it and I did it. I would suggest that you at least consider doing something similar. Because if you are having to “grin and bear it” while on vacation dining with friends, well that’s just no way to live.

 

[Hawks64]

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.

This. When I go out to eat with friends or family, I’m not looking for getting in and out rapidly or efficiently. I’m looking for a relaxing time with great conversations and laughs. The last thing I want to do is somehow integrate a workman like set of guidelines to my leisure time.

FTR, I'm not imposing guidelines on anyone, just positing the way I'd prefer things work. I realize I'm in a minority wrt time considerations, so I just grin and bear it 99.9% of the time.

I let go of most of my pet peeves 10 years ago and am so happy I did. It was a conscious decision - just said I was going to do it and I did it. I would suggest that you at least consider doing something similar. Because if you are having to “grin and bear it” while on vacation dining with friends, well that’s just no way to live.

And, IMO, it will be noticeable. It's tough to hide that level of annoyance.