DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
may i have a new napkin please
Fyp1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.
1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.
Hold up.....
Napkin? The thing you use to wipe off your mouth
I will even use the same fork if it falls on the ground.
And, IMO, it will be noticeable. It's tough to hide that level of annoyance.
Don't get me wrong, I had a great time. We're extremely fortunate to have the time and resources to take multiple vacations, with different groups of friends. And there was plenty of laughter, I assure you.FTR, I'm not imposing guidelines on anyone, just positing the way I'd prefer things work. I realize I'm in a minority wrt time considerations, so I just grin and bear it 99.9% of the time.This. When I go out to eat with friends or family, I’m not looking for getting in and out rapidly or efficiently. I’m looking for a relaxing time with great conversations and laughs. The last thing I want to do is somehow integrate a workman like set of guidelines to my leisure time.1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.
1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.
I let go of most of my pet peeves 10 years ago and am so happy I did. It was a conscious decision - just said I was going to do it and I did it. I would suggest that you at least consider doing something similar. Because if you are having to “grin and bear it” while on vacation dining with friends, well that’s just no way to live.
For me, these are entirely contingent upon the event and group.Finishing up vacation, including meeting up with groups of friends, I realized eating out may be a peeve. My general strategy:
1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.
Between people chatting and/or giving the appearance they weren’t ready, causing multiple delays, and one friend never accepting the meal choices presented, repeatedly revising her order, I welcome the return to dining at home.
One last thing: if you consistently finish your meal 10-20 minutes after everyone else in a group, you need to either adjust your eating pace, or talk less.
Thoughts?
There is no "acting like this"; I order, eat and socialize, much like everyone else. I just do it a little quicker. Delaying ordering doesn't really enrich that experience, imo. And I don't consider the meals solely as fuel.And, IMO, it will be noticeable. It's tough to hide that level of annoyance.
Absolutley. I think the OP is somehow misunderstanding "not imposing his own rules on anyone." As @Hawks64 said, "I'd hate to deal with someone in our group acting like this."
I get the idea that sometimes eating is simply filling up the fuel tank to live. If you're by yourself, knock yourself out eating as fast as you like. But dining out with a spouse or friends is a completely different situation.
I've been here for years.I always wondered if the soup nazi posted here.
I am with you that I don’t like people being overly fussy and demanding. My MIL used to be like that and eating out with her was always a mess. We eventually just had to embrace the cringe factor and laugh.I enjoy rushing, actually. And being efficient. Plus I view eating out more as an opportunity to try new foods +/- beverages, versus the social aspect. Still, finding enough time to talk never seems to be a problem, at least in my eyes.Lighten up and have fun. The point of going out to eat is with a group is to socialize, talk, have fun, etc.Thoughts?
I should add for this trip, we were staying in the same place as the friends with whom we dined, so there was plenty of time to socialize, both before and after the meal.
But even if we parted ways, I still dislike wasting time ordering, changing menu items too much, and repeatedly demanding the waitstaff's attention. And it's inconsiderate to camp out at a restaurant if you've completed the meal - 90 minutes or so seems reasonable, imo. If you want to hang out with friends to drink, there are other venues for that.
This is the only odd thing in the OPs list. But it used to be common place at diners and the like. Gotta let Mable know you’re ready to go!I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.
I've been here for years.I always wondered if the soup nazi posted here.
And yes, the OP is exactly right.
I’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.
This is the only odd thing in the OPs list. But it used to be common place at diners and the like. Gotta let Mable know you’re ready to go!I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.
I’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.
Our family does this every time we go out. Easiest way to show that everybody is ready to order.I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.
Our family does this every time we go out. Easiest way to show that everybody is ready to order.I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.
At that price point, that would bug me. I would file that under disruptive. And most likely they were influencersI’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.
I don't mind it as long as it's not disruptive. If the server is standing there for 2 minutes holding food while people are snapping pics, then yes. But that just goes under the "be respectful" thing.
Last time we were at Mott 32 in Las Vegas, there's a large table that's semi private. We were not from it and the entire table was going wild on the photos. Ring lights and real cameras and such. I assumed they were food bloggers. It was no problem. They were having fun and I'm sure the restaurant got some publicity.
I get that and am in the same boat. a few pics, sure. Beyond the family photos,This is the only odd thing in the OPs list. But it used to be common place at diners and the like. Gotta let Mable know you’re ready to go!I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.
I’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.
I get that and it would bug me too if I made my living in the restaurant industry, but for some of us with a large family, with family members spread far and wide, family members away at college and with family members in their final stages of life, is it really THAT much of a bother if we ask for a picture together to mark the occasion? I'm not talking about taking photos of meal for the Gram, I'm talking about a group photo to remember the time. Is that really such a big pet peeve or?
Do you mean after the server has taken them away? If not, give them a menu.Our family does this every time we go out. Easiest way to show that everybody is ready to order.I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.
But, um.....what if you forgot what you were going to order after the menues were stacked up? Asking for a friend.![]()
At that price point, that would bug me. I would file that under disruptive. And most likely they were influencersI’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.
I don't mind it as long as it's not disruptive. If the server is standing there for 2 minutes holding food while people are snapping pics, then yes. But that just goes under the "be respectful" thing.
Last time we were at Mott 32 in Las Vegas, there's a large table that's semi private. We were not from it and the entire table was going wild on the photos. Ring lights and real cameras and such. I assumed they were food bloggers. It was no problem. They were having fun and I'm sure the restaurant got some publicity.and it’s merely a LAM opportunity.
And it’s not just when food is being delivered. Every staged photo disrupts service. Just sitting down and taking pics for 3-5 minutes makes a difference. and ole purple nosed, uncle bob, who didn’t want to take the picture anyway is now pissed because he doesn’t have his double 101 wild turkey neat yet. And if the server is busy elsewhere for 3-5 minutes, that’s a 10 minute greet time. Which is way too long. now uncle Bob doesn’t have his drink for 15 minutes.
I get that and am in the same boat. a few pics, sure. Beyond the family photos,This is the only odd thing in the OPs list. But it used to be common place at diners and the like. Gotta let Mable know you’re ready to go!I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.
I’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.
I get that and it would bug me too if I made my living in the restaurant industry, but for some of us with a large family, with family members spread far and wide, family members away at college and with family members in their final stages of life, is it really THAT much of a bother if we ask for a picture together to mark the occasion? I'm not talking about taking photos of meal for the Gram, I'm talking about a group photo to remember the time. Is that really such a big pet peeve or?the pics of every course. every drink. The 27 pics of themselves with the ocean in the background*
*I should shut my pie hole because my location is stunning and is a big drive for business. I’ll send you a pic.![]()
Do you mean after the server has taken them away? If not, give them a menu.Our family does this every time we go out. Easiest way to show that everybody is ready to order.I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.
But, um.....what if you forgot what you were going to order after the menues were stacked up? Asking for a friend.![]()
If yes, that depends on if your friend will tell someone at the table they forgot what they ordered.
It's happened to us. We usually figure it out.
Do you mean after the server has taken them away? If not, give them a menu.Our family does this every time we go out. Easiest way to show that everybody is ready to order.I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.
But, um.....what if you forgot what you were going to order after the menues were stacked up? Asking for a friend.![]()
If yes, that depends on if your friend will tell someone at the table they forgot what they ordered.
It's happened to us. We usually figure it out.
Big fan of stacking up the menus and handing them to the server after we have all ordered. But I might need a sneak peak at mine one last time BEFORE we stack them all up.
I understand the signal you're giving off before the order to signify that you're ready, but I get distracted easily and I am a big talker so I forget sometimes what I wanted to order when the time comes.
No looks at the server. This is also a good signal to the slow one in the group it's about time to order.Do you mean after the server has taken them away? If not, give them a menu.Our family does this every time we go out. Easiest way to show that everybody is ready to order.I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.
But, um.....what if you forgot what you were going to order after the menues were stacked up? Asking for a friend.![]()
If yes, that depends on if your friend will tell someone at the table they forgot what they ordered.
It's happened to us. We usually figure it out.
Big fan of stacking up the menus and handing them to the server after we have all ordered. But I might need a sneak peak at mine one last time BEFORE we stack them all up.
I understand the signal you're giving off before the order to signify that you're ready, but I get distracted easily and I am a big talker so I forget sometimes what I wanted to order when the time comes.
Sure, AFTER you order, it's common courtesy to help the server out and hand them back to them.
Never in my life have I seen anyone gather all the menus and stack them up as a sign they're ready to order.
I thought the universal sign was just closing the menu or putting it down.
I can only imagine what's going through the server's mind when the one guy stacks all the menus up and stares down the poor server with the look...
Here’s one for the group.
How do you feel about asking the server to write the order down? Some waiters don’t do this, and I definitely have anecdotal experiences where things were forgotten as a result.
On the other hand, I feel like asking them to write it down makes me sound like a huge prick so I never do it.
Don't get me wrong, I had a great time. We're extremely fortunate to have the time and resources to take multiple vacations, with different groups of friends. And there was plenty of laughter, I assure you.
I'm definitely learning to "let things go" as I age. Not exactly an on/off switch for me, and I think the peeve-producing personality traits can be constructive when helping to organize the trips. At the extreme, things won't get done, if the tone is too relaxed.
I have walked out of a restaurant without ordering when I saw such a policy and will do so again if I encounter it.On the flip side, I do think some restaurants err too much on the "no changes allowed" side. They're in the hospitality business.
One of my favorite spots on Los Angeles is Fathers Office. They are famous for their hamburger. But you get it their way. https://fathersoffice.com/menus/culver-city/
They even add to the menu: "NO SUBSTITUTIONS, ALTERATIONS, MODIFICATIONS, OR DELETIONS. YES. REALLY."
And it's not like the burger is totally normal. It has Gruyere and Blue Cheese on it. Not exactly cheddar when it comes to accessibility.
But I get it. It's delicious and it's crowded.
I
Yeah, pictures of food are a problem, only to be outdone by asking the host/server to be your group photographer.This is the only odd thing in the OPs list. But it used to be common place at diners and the like. Gotta let Mable know you’re ready to go!I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.
I’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.
Do you often/always ask for substitutions when you go to restaurants?I have walked out of a restaurant without ordering when I saw such a policy and will do so again if I encounter it.On the flip side, I do think some restaurants err too much on the "no changes allowed" side. They're in the hospitality business.
One of my favorite spots on Los Angeles is Fathers Office. They are famous for their hamburger. But you get it their way. https://fathersoffice.com/menus/culver-city/
They even add to the menu: "NO SUBSTITUTIONS, ALTERATIONS, MODIFICATIONS, OR DELETIONS. YES. REALLY."
And it's not like the burger is totally normal. It has Gruyere and Blue Cheese on it. Not exactly cheddar when it comes to accessibility.
But I get it. It's delicious and it's crowded.
I
I always do thisIf there are multiple empty plates, I occasionally stack them as well. I may be wrong, but I believe this helps the server, while decluttering the table
I usually go to such places where they are not necessary, as I know they offer a "safe" item.Do you often/always ask for substitutions when you go to restaurants?I have walked out of a restaurant without ordering when I saw such a policy and will do so again if I encounter it.On the flip side, I do think some restaurants err too much on the "no changes allowed" side. They're in the hospitality business.
One of my favorite spots on Los Angeles is Fathers Office. They are famous for their hamburger. But you get it their way. https://fathersoffice.com/menus/culver-city/
They even add to the menu: "NO SUBSTITUTIONS, ALTERATIONS, MODIFICATIONS, OR DELETIONS. YES. REALLY."
And it's not like the burger is totally normal. It has Gruyere and Blue Cheese on it. Not exactly cheddar when it comes to accessibility.
But I get it. It's delicious and it's crowded.
I
Another interesting topic, though becoming a non-issue with electronic payment apps.Lost in his manifesto was the art of splitting the check.....I was rather looking forward to that one.
I may be skeptical but have never asked. I will absolutely let them know if something comes out incorrectly thoughHere’s one for the group.
How do you feel about asking the server to write the order down? Some waiters don’t do this, and I definitely have anecdotal experiences where things were forgotten as a result.
On the other hand, I feel like asking them to write it down makes me sound like a huge prick so I never do it.
I think it’s obnoxious.Here’s one for the group.
How do you feel about asking the server to write the order down? Some waiters don’t do this, and I definitely have anecdotal experiences where things were forgotten as a result.
On the other hand, I feel like asking them to write it down makes me sound like a huge prick so I never do it.
But what if your server is this guy?Here’s one for the group.
How do you feel about asking the server to write the order down? Some waiters don’t do this, and I definitely have anecdotal experiences where things were forgotten as a result.
On the other hand, I feel like asking them to write it down makes me sound like a huge prick so I never do it.
I never wrote things down. I'd get occasional comments, no demands and would generally joke "if I screw up, I'll buy yours" to the person questioning me. Usually got a laugh. It was pretty hard to forget from the table to the computer at a BBQ joint.
ETA: if it was DEMANDED of me, eh, I'd probably just pretend to write it to save the tip.
I get distracted easily and I am a big talker so I forget sometimes what I wanted to order when the time comes.
I’m getting a new napkin because your damn dog is under the table, biting my ankles and the napkin probably fell right on his back.1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.
1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.
Hold up.....
Napkin? The thing you use to wipe off your hands? If that hits the ground you need a new one? What are you, British Royalty? It's a napkin, not a piece of gum.
Yeah unless I’m in a saloon where there’s beer and peanut shells on the ground i have no problem using the floor napkin. Willing to bet about 90% of the time I’m dining anywhere that provides a cloth napkin it falls on the floor at least once.
And for the saloon example I’m probably just wiping my hands on my jeans anyway
If I'm eating at a place with paper napkins, I'll sometimes ask the server for a few extra napkins for the table. But not if I'm dining with OP, he might stab me with a fork if I did that.
Cloth napkin goes on the ground I reason the place is fancy enough for cloth, it's probably had a Hokey run under the tables, I'm good.
Yeah, I think it’s the right thing to do, but sometimes wonder if the waitstaff prefers stacking plates/utensils in a specific way.I always do thisIf there are multiple empty plates, I occasionally stack them as well. I may be wrong, but I believe this helps the server, while decluttering the table
I don’t think anyone is annoyed, as all these groups are recurring travel/activity friends.By the time you go on vacation with someone, you need to already know you can have dinner with them--on vacation.
If it is annoying to OP's friends, it's their fault. Before you spend a week with another couple, you need to know if they eat like they forgot their kid in the car with the windows rolled up.
in general, the server would prefer you not to stack the plates.Yeah, I think it’s the right thing to do, but sometimes wonder if the waitstaff prefers stacking plates/utensils in a specific way.I always do thisIf there are multiple empty plates, I occasionally stack them as well. I may be wrong, but I believe this helps the server, while decluttering the table
Related, I don’t like unnecessary removal of unused, or even lightly used flatware. Also try to reuse plates when I (rarely) go to buffets.