Dining in groups (4 Viewers)

[Goldminer1]

I have a friend who I absolutely loathe dining out with because she cannot order something off the menu as is. She is the world’s most picky eater and she has no idea how insulting some of her requests are to the chefs.

The other parts of dining out with people just are what they are imo. Learn to deal.

But we have one of these in our friend group, and she drives me mad. She gets left off of invites on occasion because she's so high maintenance. I cringe every time she goes to order. You just know what's coming.

"This Chef Dave's Fried Nashville Hot Chicken Breast... is that white meat? Uh-huh. And can they bake it instead of frying it? No? Wow, OK. Well is it spicy? I can't really do spicy foods. Oh. Is there any way to get it without being dipped in the sauce? You have a grilled chicken sandwich? No, why would I want that? Just bring me the turkey club with no mayo or bacon. And if you have ham instead of turkey, that would be great.

*30 seconds after meal is set down*

"I had no idea this would have tomato in it or come on toast. Can you just box it up for me? Maybe my daughter will eat it."

*headexplodes*

This sort of thing drives me crazy, especially in a "not-special" meal scenario. Eating at Applebees with the family isn't a big deal. We shouldn't be expecting Michelin level food and/or service, and that is fine.

If you go to a place that is $150 per person, and you get a bad piece of chicken? Sure, say something (courteously), but even then at a "nice" place, I feel like all the special ordering instructions and special requests, are almost insulting to the chef. Maybe just take the guy's word for it, that the way they make it, is the best way, and if you don't like the way they make this dish, then order something else, rather than trying to substitute your way to something that you won't like anyway.

The dishes are prepared and cooked in a certain way for a reason, it may be for speed, or flavor or whatever, but my guess is they know how to do it better than your annoying relative does. If there are legitimate dietary/health restrictions? Fine, but be prepared, know what the deal is before going into the restaurant, have an idea of what you might want before you even sit down. If you need clarification? Ask before you order. Don't blindly order and then be "surprised" when the chicken has cream sauce on it.

I just think a lot of this comes down to having reasonable expecations of the place you're eating at. Which goes both ways. A reasonable expecation at a "fancy" restuarant is that the chef knows what they're doing. A reasonable expecation at Waffle House, is that it will be a faster dining experience than the hipster breakfast place down the street, that serves their take on chicken & waffles and got a lot of attention on a local foodie blog.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

This has gotta be shtick

These same people will use their phone or iPad and think nothing of putting a morsel of food in their mouths.

The phone has my own germs on it. The menus have germs from whatever disgusting people touched it over the last few hours/days.

Most people don’t give a second thought to using their cell phone everywhere, from their morning commute to the dinner table to the doctor’s office. But research shows that cell phones are far dirtier than most people think, and the more germs they collect, the more germs you touch.

In fact, your own hand is the biggest culprit when it comes to putting filth on your phone. Americans check their phones about 47 times per day, according to a survey by Deloitte, which affords plenty of opportunities for microorganisms to move from your fingers to your phone.

“Because people are always carrying their cell phones even in situations where they would normally wash their hands before doing anything, cell phones do tend to get pretty gross,” says Emily Martin, assistant professor of epidemiology at the University of Michigan School of Public Health. Research has varied on just how many germs are crawling on the average cell phone, but a recent study found more than 17,000 bacterial gene copies on the phones of high school students. Scientists at the University of Arizona have found that cell phones carry 10 times more bacteria than most toilet seats.

If my hands are clean, how dirty is my phone getting? I was a compulsive hand washer before Covid. I was already adhering to All of the handwashing edicts

Doesn't really matter how clean your hands are. Your phone is filthy. From being put in pockets, setting it down, and hands are just notoriously dirty even with frequent hand washing.

Hand-washing definitely helps. It's one of the best ways to fight transmissible diseases. But, again, more importantly, do not put your fingers in your mouth, or in general, touch your face. Just imagine you put your hands in dirt and they are just covered in mud and stuff and think of them being like that 24 hours per day and you'll cut down on picking up stuff significantly.

People above say they wash their hands after touching the menu. I don't. I wash my hands right before I eat. That just usually happens to be after I touch the menu, but it's not the menu itself that's making me wash them.

ETA -- Here you go. STOP TOUCHING YOUR FACE

The Australian study counted a total of 2346 touches over 4 hours among 26 students. Its results suggest that, on average, people touch their face around 23 times per hour. The researchers also kept a tally of whether students touched the 'mucosal area' (eyes, nose, mouth) and other places around the face (such as ears, chin, cheeks, forehead). Touching the mucosal area is especially relevant to respiratory viruses like SARS-CoV-2 because that region is the main entry point for an invading virus particle. In the Australian observations, 44% of touches involved the mucosal area while 56% were to the other facial regions.

. I’m aware. While not as OCD, my family has called me monk, after the tv show character, forever.

I do my best to not touch commonly handled items. And I’m very aware of touching/not touching my face.

 

[Terminalxylem]

But is it bacteria that can get me sick? Because if it is, then we'd all be constantly sick. The point of washing my hands after touching a menu is there's a decent, non-zero chance that a person who recently touched it also may have sneezed/coughed/wipe their nose before touching it. That's not happening with my phone. Hell, I saw someone licking a menu just a few weeks ago at Spaghetti Factory.

Feel like maybe this thread could use a Schoolhouse Rock on how germs work.

Viruses infect us more often than bacteria, but regardless, the potential for getting infected is contingent on three things:

1. How much pathogen you're exposed to
2. How virulent the pathogen is
3. How well your body's defenses function

So, using a napkin which touched the ground probably won't kill you, but the odds go up if it landed in a warm, moist environment where pathogens thrive. Same with touching a menu, or your phone. But you're right, there is non-zero potential something could infect you, particularly if your immune system is impaired.

A couple caveats for the frequent hand washers/sanitizers.

1. Sanitizers (and soap, to a lesser degree) can dry your hands, and cracked skin can serve as an entry point for infection.
2. We coexist with helpful bacteria, fungi +/- viruses (debatable). Killing those guys off leaves a void for bad stuff to move in.

There's also a balance between "priming" your immune system with low level exposures, and overwhelming it. Plus, there's an element of luck involved.

I wash/sanitize my hands frequently in the hospital, because it's a place where sick people congregate. I also wear a mask in the the ER, having been coughed on more times than I can remember.

Outside work, I wash my hands after using the restroom, and before I eat. Almost never use sanitizer. Like @gianmarco, avoid touching eyes/nose/mouth with fingers that might be dirty.

Finally, ordering and eating quickly, not talking too much, or taking photos, minimizes my exposure time. If others follow suit, we likely can avoid another pandemic. TIA.

 

[ChiefD]

So do you guys lick your fingers after you've put hand sanitizer on them right before eating your food?

 

[the moops]

Finally, ordering and eating quickly, not talking too much, or taking photos, minimizes my exposure time. If others follow suit, we likely can avoid another pandemic. TIA.

 

[Zow]

National Lampoon's Vacation - "The Grand Canyon" - HD

In this scene, Clark rushes the other Griswold's at the Grand Canyon.

www.youtube.com

So, despite living within easy driving distance of the Grand Canyon, I've only been once and I think stayed for like five minutes. It's breathtaking for about 30 seconds, but if you are just "there" there really isn't much else to do.

Now, a hike makes complete sense.

 

[gianmarco]

But is it bacteria that can get me sick? Because if it is, then we'd all be constantly sick. The point of washing my hands after touching a menu is there's a decent, non-zero chance that a person who recently touched it also may have sneezed/coughed/wipe their nose before touching it. That's not happening with my phone. Hell, I saw someone licking a menu just a few weeks ago at Spaghetti Factory.

Feel like maybe this thread could use a Schoolhouse Rock on how germs work.

Viruses infect us more often than bacteria, but regardless, the potential for getting infected is contingent on three things:

1. How much pathogen you're exposed to
2. How virulent the pathogen is
3. How well your body's defenses function

So, using a napkin which touched the ground probably won't kill you, but the odds go up if it landed in a warm, moist environment where pathogens thrive. Same with touching a menu, or your phone. But you're right, there is non-zero potential something could infect you, particularly if your immune system is impaired.

A couple caveats for the frequent hand washers/sanitizers.

1. Sanitizers (and soap, to a lesser degree) can dry your hands, and cracked skin can serve as an entry point for infection.
2. We coexist with helpful bacteria, fungi +/- viruses (debatable). Killing those guys off leaves a void for bad stuff to move in.

There's also a balance between "priming" your immune system with low level exposures, and overwhelming it. Plus, there's an element of luck involved.

I wash/sanitize my hands frequently in the hospital, because it's a place where sick people congregate. I also wear a mask in the the ER, having been coughed on more times than I can remember.

Outside work, I wash my hands after using the restroom, and before I eat. Almost never use sanitizer. Like @gianmarco, avoid touching eyes/nose/mouth with fingers that might be dirty.

Finally, ordering and eating quickly, not talking too much, or taking photos, minimizes my exposure time. If others follow suit, we likely can avoid another pandemic. TIA.

to the bolded. I also almost never use sanitizer.

 

[Terminalxylem]

We use hand sanitizer after giving the menus back to the server. Seems to solve the issue and you dont have to get up.

But you now need to lug a vat of sanitizer everywhere you go.

A one ounce travel size is a vat?

To avoid all the potential germs, that ain't gonna last long.

And it also cramps my minimalist style.

 

[Zow]

Lost in his manifesto was the art of splitting the check.....I was rather looking forward to that one.

If anybody here is a Picasso of this artform, please fill me in.

I enjoy dining in groups and can be very patient with all other issues here. It's just the check thing that drives me nuts because it's that awful social awkwardness about it - especially if it's like a group of 8 (where the restaurant understandably won't split the tab) and how we're splitting it was never discussed ahead of time. I remember once going out with my wife (we were dating at the time) and her like three best friends and their significant others and it was just brutal when the check came, how to split was never discussed, and we sat there with multiple minutes of awkwardness (I didn't know the guys at all so I was reluctant to take charge).

Part of this is my fault. My mom was frugal to a fault and imposed that mindset on me and while I've kicked most of her frugality, I still can't help but focus on whether somebody is overpaying and if it's me or whatever. Also, while my dad isn't cheap like my mom, he's socially oblivious so he never gave me a good model of how to handle. Given all this, I also genuinely never really know what is expected of me where, while it's not that I'm trying to underpay or anything, I'll pay whatever I just need somebody to tell me what to pay! For instance, some years ago I found out I offended somebody because I didn't pay because that person just always insisted on paying and I never fought him only to find out later I was supposed to. I almost drove to his house and just threw cash at him to feel better about the situation.

My now always vote is just to chop it equally.

 

[Gally]

So, despite living within easy driving distance of the Grand Canyon, I've only been once and I think stayed for like five minutes. It's breathtaking for about 30 seconds, but if you are just "there" there really isn't much else to do.

Exactly. I have been there once as well. It was very impressive for about a minute. Then it's just a big hole in the ground and is what it is. Looks like very picture I have ever seen of it.

 

[Gally]

If anybody here is a Picasso of this artform, please fill me in.

The secret to this artform is to dine with those that think like you do (doesn't matter what that is). If everyone has the same expectations it's easy to make everyone happy. Another piece to the puzzle is to make sure you are all about the same when it comes to alcohol preferences. If one guy is drinking top shelf scotch and getting 4 or 5 of them and one guy is drinking a coke it can be feather ruffling to just split the bill evenly. But if everyone drinks similarly it isn't an issue.

For me, I don't mind the split evenly approach or the "I get this one you get the next one" approach. I don't even mind the ballpark method of I had a $70 bottle of wine for me and the wife and you had a couple $10 dollar cocktails so I will put in an extra $50 or whatever. Something simple.

The problem comes in when someone always pays less than their share, never offers to pick up the tab (when others do it multiple times before), or is just too calculatory making it difficult.

 

[Zow]

I have a friend who I absolutely loathe dining out with because she cannot order something off the menu as is. She is the world’s most picky eater and she has no idea how insulting some of her requests are to the chefs.

The other parts of dining out with people just are what they are imo. Learn to deal.

But we have one of these in our friend group, and she drives me mad. She gets left off of invites on occasion because she's so high maintenance. I cringe every time she goes to order. You just know what's coming.

"This Chef Dave's Fried Nashville Hot Chicken Breast... is that white meat? Uh-huh. And can they bake it instead of frying it? No? Wow, OK. Well is it spicy? I can't really do spicy foods. Oh. Is there any way to get it without being dipped in the sauce? You have a grilled chicken sandwich? No, why would I want that? Just bring me the turkey club with no mayo or bacon. And if you have ham instead of turkey, that would be great.

*30 seconds after meal is set down*

"I had no idea this would have tomato in it or come on toast. Can you just box it up for me? Maybe my daughter will eat it."

*headexplodes*

Reminds me of my father-in-law and my mother-in-law but to their credit they know they're high maintenance and tip very well.

 

[Zow]

If anybody here is a Picasso of this artform, please fill me in.

The secret to this artform is to dine with those that think like you do (doesn't matter what that is). If everyone has the same expectations it's easy to make everyone happy. Another piece to the puzzle is to make sure you are all about the same when it comes to alcohol preferences. If one guy is drinking top shelf scotch and getting 4 or 5 of them and one guy is drinking a coke it can be feather ruffling to just split the bill evenly. But if everyone drinks similarly it isn't an issue.

For me, I don't mind the split evenly approach or the "I get this one you get the next one" approach. I don't even mind the ballpark method of I had a $70 bottle of wine for me and the wife and you had a couple $10 dollar cocktails so I will put in an extra $50 or whatever. Something simple.

The problem comes in when someone always pays less than their share, never offers to pick up the tab (when others do it multiple times before), or is just too calculatory making it difficult.

Dan Arielly, author of "Predictably Irrational" argues that if you dine with the same group it is the best for everyone's mental health to just rotate each time picking up the tab. His argument is that even if you overpay slightly in the long run the other times you don't pay makes your meal feel "free" and the endorphin boost of a perceived free meal is worth it.

 

[Gally]

If anybody here is a Picasso of this artform, please fill me in.

The secret to this artform is to dine with those that think like you do (doesn't matter what that is). If everyone has the same expectations it's easy to make everyone happy. Another piece to the puzzle is to make sure you are all about the same when it comes to alcohol preferences. If one guy is drinking top shelf scotch and getting 4 or 5 of them and one guy is drinking a coke it can be feather ruffling to just split the bill evenly. But if everyone drinks similarly it isn't an issue.

For me, I don't mind the split evenly approach or the "I get this one you get the next one" approach. I don't even mind the ballpark method of I had a $70 bottle of wine for me and the wife and you had a couple $10 dollar cocktails so I will put in an extra $50 or whatever. Something simple.

The problem comes in when someone always pays less than their share, never offers to pick up the tab (when others do it multiple times before), or is just too calculatory making it difficult.

Dan Arielly, author of "Predictably Irrational" argues that if you dine with the same group it is the best for everyone's mental health to just rotate each time picking up the tab. His argument is that even if you overpay slightly in the long run the other times you don't pay makes your meal feel "free" and the endorphin boost of a perceived free meal is worth it.

If you are with like minded people this is an easy solution. We have a few groups of friends that work this way. If you have the penny pincher type people though they will complain that they paid when the bill was $200 and you only paid when the bill was $150 so it's not fair. Then they talk bad with snide comments at other times about that type of stuff. We had a couple in our friend group that was that way. They didn't last long on the invite list

 

[the moops]

My now always vote is just to chop it equally

always the way

 

[General Malaise]

If anybody here is a Picasso of this artform, please fill me in.

The secret to this artform is to dine with those that think like you do (doesn't matter what that is). If everyone has the same expectations it's easy to make everyone happy. Another piece to the puzzle is to make sure you are all about the same when it comes to alcohol preferences. If one guy is drinking top shelf scotch and getting 4 or 5 of them and one guy is drinking a coke it can be feather ruffling to just split the bill evenly. But if everyone drinks similarly it isn't an issue.

For me, I don't mind the split evenly approach or the "I get this one you get the next one" approach. I don't even mind the ballpark method of I had a $70 bottle of wine for me and the wife and you had a couple $10 dollar cocktails so I will put in an extra $50 or whatever. Something simple.

The problem comes in when someone always pays less than their share, never offers to pick up the tab (when others do it multiple times before), or is just too calculatory making it difficult.

Dan Arielly, author of "Predictably Irrational" argues that if you dine with the same group it is the best for everyone's mental health to just rotate each time picking up the tab. His argument is that even if you overpay slightly in the long run the other times you don't pay makes your meal feel "free" and the endorphin boost of a perceived free meal is worth it.

I like this. Pretty much where I'm at in life, although the amount of time we spend dining out with others is limited. When we're together with my wife's family, her dad will almost always will try to pick up the check, so I try to get the check from the server early or slip my card in when he's not looking because I just don't like taking advantage of generosity and I never want to appear as a free loader.

 

[Terminalxylem]

Lost in his manifesto was the art of splitting the check.....I was rather looking forward to that one.

If anybody here is a Picasso of this artform, please fill me in.

I enjoy dining in groups and can be very patient with all other issues here. It's just the check thing that drives me nuts because it's that awful social awkwardness about it - especially if it's like a group of 8 (where the restaurant understandably won't split the tab) and how we're splitting it was never discussed ahead of time. I remember once going out with my wife (we were dating at the time) and her like three best friends and their significant others and it was just brutal when the check came, how to split was never discussed, and we sat there with multiple minutes of awkwardness (I didn't know the guys at all so I was reluctant to take charge).

Part of this is my fault. My mom was frugal to a fault and imposed that mindset on me and while I've kicked most of her frugality, I still can't help but focus on whether somebody is overpaying and if it's me or whatever. Also, while my dad isn't cheap like my mom, he's socially oblivious so he never gave me a good model of how to handle. Given all this, I also genuinely never really know what is expected of me where, while it's not that I'm trying to underpay or anything, I'll pay whatever I just need somebody to tell me what to pay! For instance, some years ago I found out I offended somebody because I didn't pay because that person just always insisted on paying and I never fought him only to find out later I was supposed to. I almost drove to his house and just threw cash at him to feel better about the situation.

My now always vote is just to chop it equally.

I usually offer my card (quickly, surprise!), and let people Venmo if they wish. Don't worry about over- or underpayers, as I figure meals with friends will all even out over time.

It gets complicated when people fixate on cc points, and 10 cards get thrown onto the check. Not a fan of that scenario.

If you're gonna split it, total bill/N people works best imo. No one has time for everyone to scrutinize the bill to the penny, or proportionally divide tax and tip.

If someone insists on paying the entire bill, I usually don't resist. One friend does it so often we have resorted to giving our cc to the host/waitstaff early in the meal, or secretly during a "bathroom" break. If there is a fight while the server is waiting, I usually back down, though I have resorted to bribing with the promise of a higher tip.

 

[TheAristocrat]

I wash my hands before I wash my hands. And then I wash them more.

- Sublime

 

[ChiefD]

We used to have a friend who would put the whole check on his credit card and everyone would just pay him cash. Come to find out after a couple of times he would take everyone's cash (which included the tip) and he would then only tip about 10%.

Dude was making 10 - 15% off his friends. Brilliant and an a-hole all in one.

 

[Zow]

We used to have a friend who would put the whole check on his credit card and everyone would just pay him cash. Come to find out after a couple of times he would take everyone's cash (which included the tip) and he would then only tip about 10%.

Dude was making 10 - 15% off his friends. Brilliant and an a-hole all in one.

Ew.

 

[General Malaise]

We used to have a friend who would put the whole check on his credit card and everyone would just pay him cash. Come to find out after a couple of times he would take everyone's cash (which included the tip) and he would then only tip about 10%.

Dude was making 10 - 15% off his friends. Brilliant and an a-hole all in one.

How did you find this out?

 

[ChiefD]

We used to have a friend who would put the whole check on his credit card and everyone would just pay him cash. Come to find out after a couple of times he would take everyone's cash (which included the tip) and he would then only tip about 10%.

Dude was making 10 - 15% off his friends. Brilliant and an a-hole all in one.

How did you find this out?

I started getting suspicious. So one night I grabbed the signed ticket after he left the table. Proceeded to call him out in front of everyone. We were all pretty pissed. Last time we ever had dinner with them.

 

[Scoresman]

But is it bacteria that can get me sick? Because if it is, then we'd all be constantly sick. The point of washing my hands after touching a menu is there's a decent, non-zero chance that a person who recently touched it also may have sneezed/coughed/wipe their nose before touching it. That's not happening with my phone. Hell, I saw someone licking a menu just a few weeks ago at Spaghetti Factory.

Feel like maybe this thread could use a Schoolhouse Rock on how germs work.

Viruses infect us more often than bacteria, but regardless, the potential for getting infected is contingent on three things:

1. How much pathogen you're exposed to
2. How virulent the pathogen is
3. How well your body's defenses function

So, using a napkin which touched the ground probably won't kill you, but the odds go up if it landed in a warm, moist environment where pathogens thrive. Same with touching a menu, or your phone. But you're right, there is non-zero potential something could infect you, particularly if your immune system is impaired.

A couple caveats for the frequent hand washers/sanitizers.

1. Sanitizers (and soap, to a lesser degree) can dry your hands, and cracked skin can serve as an entry point for infection.
2. We coexist with helpful bacteria, fungi +/- viruses (debatable). Killing those guys off leaves a void for bad stuff to move in.

There's also a balance between "priming" your immune system with low level exposures, and overwhelming it. Plus, there's an element of luck involved.

I wash/sanitize my hands frequently in the hospital, because it's a place where sick people congregate. I also wear a mask in the the ER, having been coughed on more times than I can remember.

Outside work, I wash my hands after using the restroom, and before I eat. Almost never use sanitizer. Like @gianmarco, avoid touching eyes/nose/mouth with fingers that might be dirty.

Finally, ordering and eating quickly, not talking too much, or taking photos, minimizes my exposure time. If others follow suit, we likely can avoid another pandemic. TIA.

I dont disagree with this, but I feel like just about everywhere in public is "a place where sick people congregate." Especially this time of year. So I dont blame anyone for wanting to wash their hands.

Also, I've never had cracked skin from sanitizer. I don't think I use it nearly enough for that to happen.

I can think of three places I frequent where I get borderline obsessed with clean hands, restaurants, touching the grocery cart, and airports. All places where I will touch things that have likely recently been touched by someone who is sick.

If you're saying that these germs don't live long enough on these surfaces to warrant such measures, then I can rest easier. But I always thought that wasn't the case.

 

[General Malaise]

We used to have a friend who would put the whole check on his credit card and everyone would just pay him cash. Come to find out after a couple of times he would take everyone's cash (which included the tip) and he would then only tip about 10%.

Dude was making 10 - 15% off his friends. Brilliant and an a-hole all in one.

How did you find this out?

I started getting suspicious. So one night I grabbed the signed ticket after he left the table. Proceeded to call him out in front of everyone. We were all pretty pissed. Last time we ever had dinner with them.

Wow......bet that was awkward.

 

[Scoresman]

But is it bacteria that can get me sick? Because if it is, then we'd all be constantly sick. The point of washing my hands after touching a menu is there's a decent, non-zero chance that a person who recently touched it also may have sneezed/coughed/wipe their nose before touching it. That's not happening with my phone. Hell, I saw someone licking a menu just a few weeks ago at Spaghetti Factory.

Feel like maybe this thread could use a Schoolhouse Rock on how germs work.

Viruses infect us more often than bacteria, but regardless, the potential for getting infected is contingent on three things:

1. How much pathogen you're exposed to
2. How virulent the pathogen is
3. How well your body's defenses function

So, using a napkin which touched the ground probably won't kill you, but the odds go up if it landed in a warm, moist environment where pathogens thrive. Same with touching a menu, or your phone. But you're right, there is non-zero potential something could infect you, particularly if your immune system is impaired.

A couple caveats for the frequent hand washers/sanitizers.

1. Sanitizers (and soap, to a lesser degree) can dry your hands, and cracked skin can serve as an entry point for infection.
2. We coexist with helpful bacteria, fungi +/- viruses (debatable). Killing those guys off leaves a void for bad stuff to move in.

There's also a balance between "priming" your immune system with low level exposures, and overwhelming it. Plus, there's an element of luck involved.

I wash/sanitize my hands frequently in the hospital, because it's a place where sick people congregate. I also wear a mask in the the ER, having been coughed on more times than I can remember.

Outside work, I wash my hands after using the restroom, and before I eat. Almost never use sanitizer. Like @gianmarco, avoid touching eyes/nose/mouth with fingers that might be dirty.

Finally, ordering and eating quickly, not talking too much, or taking photos, minimizes my exposure time. If others follow suit, we likely can avoid another pandemic. TIA.

I dont disagree with this, but I feel like just about everywhere in public is "a place where sick people congregate." Especially this time of year. So I dont blame anyone for wanting to wash their hands.

Also, I've never had cracked skin from sanitizer. I don't think I use it nearly enough for that to happen.

I can think of three places I frequent where I get borderline obsessed with clean hands, restaurants, touching the grocery cart, and airports. All places where I will touch things that have likely recently been touched by someone who is sick.

If you're saying that these germs don't live long enough on these surfaces to warrant such measures, then I can rest easier. But I always thought that wasn't the case.

I'd avoid all currency and ESPECIALLY any coins.......pennies specifically. According to internet, 76% of all pennies have visited the inside of a human rectum.

I mean there's some risk you just cant avoid, but to be honest, I rarely use cash these days.

 

[the moops]

We used to have a friend who would put the whole check on his credit card and everyone would just pay him cash. Come to find out after a couple of times he would take everyone's cash (which included the tip) and he would then only tip about 10%.

Dude was making 10 - 15% off his friends. Brilliant and an a-hole all in one.

When I was in my mid to late 20's I was a high school teacher at a school with lots of other mid to late 20 year olds. Thursday after work we would all go to this Tex Mex place for drinks and foods. Me and two buddies would always be the last to leave (like 6 hours after arriving). Everyone else would trickle out over those several hours and throw down their 20 or 40 or whatever they owed. Well, the three of us became real friendly with the waitress/bartender (place was always empty so she was generally doing it all - as an aside, we later saw her performing at her 2nd job at the gentleman's club down the road - something we always suspected). At the end of the night, we would have a few hundred dollars in front of us and she would bring the bill over, which would be like 75 bucks. We would just give her the whole wad of cash. Never did tell all those other folks how many nights the three of us drank and ate for free

 

[gianmarco]

We used to have a friend who would put the whole check on his credit card and everyone would just pay him cash. Come to find out after a couple of times he would take everyone's cash (which included the tip) and he would then only tip about 10%.

Dude was making 10 - 15% off his friends. Brilliant and an a-hole all in one.

Plus the credit card points!

 

[Zow]

We used to have a friend who would put the whole check on his credit card and everyone would just pay him cash. Come to find out after a couple of times he would take everyone's cash (which included the tip) and he would then only tip about 10%.

Dude was making 10 - 15% off his friends. Brilliant and an a-hole all in one.

When I was in my mid to late 20's I was a high school teacher at a school with lots of other mid to late 20 year olds. Thursday after work we would all go to this Tex Mex place for drinks and foods. Me and two buddies would always be the last to leave (like 6 hours after arriving). Everyone else would trickle out over those several hours and throw down their 20 or 40 or whatever they owed. Well, the three of us became real friendly with the waitress/bartender (place was always empty so she was generally doing it all - as an aside, we later saw her performing at her 2nd job at the gentleman's club down the road - something we always suspected). At the end of the night, we would have a few hundred dollars in front of us and she would bring the bill over, which would be like 75 bucks. We would just give her the whole wad of cash. Never did tell all those other folks how many nights the three of us drank and ate for free

Let me guess... Chevy's and the Lamplighter??

 

[the moops]

We used to have a friend who would put the whole check on his credit card and everyone would just pay him cash. Come to find out after a couple of times he would take everyone's cash (which included the tip) and he would then only tip about 10%.

Dude was making 10 - 15% off his friends. Brilliant and an a-hole all in one.

When I was in my mid to late 20's I was a high school teacher at a school with lots of other mid to late 20 year olds. Thursday after work we would all go to this Tex Mex place for drinks and foods. Me and two buddies would always be the last to leave (like 6 hours after arriving). Everyone else would trickle out over those several hours and throw down their 20 or 40 or whatever they owed. Well, the three of us became real friendly with the waitress/bartender (place was always empty so she was generally doing it all - as an aside, we later saw her performing at her 2nd job at the gentleman's club down the road - something we always suspected). At the end of the night, we would have a few hundred dollars in front of us and she would bring the bill over, which would be like 75 bucks. We would just give her the whole wad of cash. Never did tell all those other folks how many nights the three of us drank and ate for free

Let me guess... Chevy's and the Lamplighter??

ha! Funny that you got one of them right even though I was in Boston and not Twin Cities for that stretch of my life.

Chevy's and Golden Banana

 

[UncleZen]

My only complaints about group dining is dining with the couple that complain about every meal at every place and then leave poor tips. I always tip extra when dining with them.

 

[Joe Schmo]

I tip extra when dining with my dad on any occasion. He still adheres to 15% and if we are out with multiple family members and he picks up the check my sibs and I will will quietly pool some cash together and as we make to leave the restaurant one of us goes back to leave the wad on the table. Dad's a great guy but he is "frugal".

 

[Zow]

I tip extra when dining with my dad on any occasion. He still adheres to 15% and if we are out with multiple family members and he picks up the check my sibs and I will will quietly pool some cash together and as we make to leave the restaurant one of us goes back to leave the wad on the table. Dad's a great guy but he is "frugal".

15%?? Pfft, he's Bill Gates with that generosity when compared to my mom who is like 10%.

 

[Sullie]

Finishing up vacation, including meeting up with groups of friends, I realized eating out may be a peeve. My general strategy:

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

Between people chatting and/or giving the appearance they weren’t ready, causing multiple delays, and one friend never accepting the meal choices presented, repeatedly revising her order, I welcome the return to dining at home.

One last thing: if you consistently finish your meal 10-20 minutes after everyone else in a group, you need to either adjust your eating pace, or talk less.

Thoughts?

I haven't read through the replies, okay I haven't read any of the replies to be honest. However, I've been guilty of this most of my life until the last few years. One day, years ago, after I lost another relative, I sat back and thought about those other family members I've lost over the years, some co-workers I've lost, friends, neighbors and acquaintances and it's made me realize that we really don't get much time here and how incredibly important it is to try to enjoy those all too brief moments.

We buried my mother-in-law during covid and family get togethers are not only just not the same, they just don't happen. The entire family dynamic of my in-laws is shattered now. The exact same thing happened with my own family when my father passed away 30 years ago. We never had another get together or sit down meal together again as a complete family. All of those years of great memories simply don't happen again and all those little annoyances I used to have are long forgotten.

The next time you have a meeting with a group of friends you should really focus on calming down, looking around, keeping your ears and eyes open and just drink it all in and enjoy the moment, the time you have because you really don't know how many of those exact experiences you have left.

 

[Drunken knight]

We used to have a friend who would put the whole check on his credit card and everyone would just pay him cash. Come to find out after a couple of times he would take everyone's cash (which included the tip) and he would then only tip about 10%.

Dude was making 10 - 15% off his friends. Brilliant and an a-hole all in one.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I tip extra when dining with my dad on any occasion. He still adheres to 15% and if we are out with multiple family members and he picks up the check my sibs and I will will quietly pool some cash together and as we make to leave the restaurant one of us goes back to leave the wad on the table. Dad's a great guy but he is "frugal".

15%?? Pfft, he's Bill Gates with that generosity when compared to my mom who is like 10%.

I’ve taken care of bill and Melinda. Regular tip, 19ish%, on a bottom tier airline CC. In her name.

 

[Zow]

I tip extra when dining with my dad on any occasion. He still adheres to 15% and if we are out with multiple family members and he picks up the check my sibs and I will will quietly pool some cash together and as we make to leave the restaurant one of us goes back to leave the wad on the table. Dad's a great guy but he is "frugal".

15%?? Pfft, he's Bill Gates with that generosity when compared to my mom who is like 10%.

I’ve taken care of bill and Melinda. Regular tip, 19ish%, on a bottom tier airline CC. In her name.

Warren Buffett then?

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I have a friend who I absolutely loathe dining out with because she cannot order something off the menu as is. She is the world’s most picky eater and she has no idea how insulting some of her requests are to the chefs.

The other parts of dining out with people just are what they are imo. Learn to deal.

But we have one of these in our friend group, and she drives me mad. She gets left off of invites on occasion because she's so high maintenance. I cringe every time she goes to order. You just know what's coming.

"This Chef Dave's Fried Nashville Hot Chicken Breast... is that white meat? Uh-huh. And can they bake it instead of frying it? No? Wow, OK. Well is it spicy? I can't really do spicy foods. Oh. Is there any way to get it without being dipped in the sauce? You have a grilled chicken sandwich? No, why would I want that? Just bring me the turkey club with no mayo or bacon. And if you have ham instead of turkey, that would be great.

*30 seconds after meal is set down*

"I had no idea this would have tomato in it or come on toast. Can you just box it up for me? Maybe my daughter will eat it."

*headexplodes*

This sort of thing drives me crazy, especially in a "not-special" meal scenario. Eating at Applebees with the family isn't a big deal. We shouldn't be expecting Michelin level food and/or service, and that is fine.

If you go to a place that is $150 per person, and you get a bad piece of chicken? Sure, say something (courteously), but even then at a "nice" place, I feel like all the special ordering instructions and special requests, are almost insulting to the chef. Maybe just take the guy's word for it, that the way they make it, is the best way, and if you don't like the way they make this dish, then order something else, rather than trying to substitute your way to something that you won't like anyway.

The dishes are prepared and cooked in a certain way for a reason, it may be for speed, or flavor or whatever, but my guess is they know how to do it better than your annoying relative does. If there are legitimate dietary/health restrictions? Fine, but be prepared, know what the deal is before going into the restaurant, have an idea of what you might want before you even sit down. If you need clarification? Ask before you order. Don't blindly order and then be "surprised" when the chicken has cream sauce on it.

I just think a lot of this comes down to having reasonable expecations of the place you're eating at. Which goes both ways. A reasonable expecation at a "fancy" restuarant is that the chef knows what they're doing. A reasonable expecation at Waffle House, is that it will be a faster dining experience than the hipster breakfast place down the street, that serves their take on chicken & waffles and got a lot of attention on a local foodie blog.

"Can they do the bolognese without carrots?

No? Are you sure?"

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I tip extra when dining with my dad on any occasion. He still adheres to 15% and if we are out with multiple family members and he picks up the check my sibs and I will will quietly pool some cash together and as we make to leave the restaurant one of us goes back to leave the wad on the table. Dad's a great guy but he is "frugal".

15%?? Pfft, he's Bill Gates with that generosity when compared to my mom who is like 10%.

I’ve taken care of bill and Melinda. Regular tip, 19ish%, on a bottom tier airline CC. In her name.

Warren Buffett then?

 

[the moops]

I have a friend who I absolutely loathe dining out with because she cannot order something off the menu as is. She is the world’s most picky eater and she has no idea how insulting some of her requests are to the chefs.

The other parts of dining out with people just are what they are imo. Learn to deal.

But we have one of these in our friend group, and she drives me mad. She gets left off of invites on occasion because she's so high maintenance. I cringe every time she goes to order. You just know what's coming.

"This Chef Dave's Fried Nashville Hot Chicken Breast... is that white meat? Uh-huh. And can they bake it instead of frying it? No? Wow, OK. Well is it spicy? I can't really do spicy foods. Oh. Is there any way to get it without being dipped in the sauce? You have a grilled chicken sandwich? No, why would I want that? Just bring me the turkey club with no mayo or bacon. And if you have ham instead of turkey, that would be great.

*30 seconds after meal is set down*

"I had no idea this would have tomato in it or come on toast. Can you just box it up for me? Maybe my daughter will eat it."

*headexplodes*

This sort of thing drives me crazy, especially in a "not-special" meal scenario. Eating at Applebees with the family isn't a big deal. We shouldn't be expecting Michelin level food and/or service, and that is fine.

If you go to a place that is $150 per person, and you get a bad piece of chicken? Sure, say something (courteously), but even then at a "nice" place, I feel like all the special ordering instructions and special requests, are almost insulting to the chef. Maybe just take the guy's word for it, that the way they make it, is the best way, and if you don't like the way they make this dish, then order something else, rather than trying to substitute your way to something that you won't like anyway.

The dishes are prepared and cooked in a certain way for a reason, it may be for speed, or flavor or whatever, but my guess is they know how to do it better than your annoying relative does. If there are legitimate dietary/health restrictions? Fine, but be prepared, know what the deal is before going into the restaurant, have an idea of what you might want before you even sit down. If you need clarification? Ask before you order. Don't blindly order and then be "surprised" when the chicken has cream sauce on it.

I just think a lot of this comes down to having reasonable expecations of the place you're eating at. Which goes both ways. A reasonable expecation at a "fancy" restuarant is that the chef knows what they're doing. A reasonable expecation at Waffle House, is that it will be a faster dining experience than the hipster breakfast place down the street, that serves their take on chicken & waffles and got a lot of attention on a local foodie blog.

"Can they do the bolognese without carrots?

No? Are you sure?"

Juicy Lucy. I think all or most of you know what those are? Cheeseburgers with the cheese on the inside.

My 80 year old dad asked for the cheese on the outside, like a "normal cheeseburger". I told him to **** off and told the waitress to ignore that request

 

[Terminalxylem]

I can think of three places I frequent where I get borderline obsessed with clean hands, restaurants, touching the grocery cart, and airports. All places where I will touch things that have likely recently been touched by someone who is sick.

If you're saying that these germs don't live long enough on these surfaces to warrant such measures, then I can rest easier. But I always thought that wasn't the case.

Depends on the germ, and the surface.

Which leaves a few easy options:

1. Assume everything is contaminated, and sanitize obsessively.
2. Wash/sanitize in “high risk“ environments, however you choose to define them.
3. Don’t worry about it, accept the potential consequences.

It’s almost the same situation with masks, though the science supporting hand washing is a little better.

 

[Terminalxylem]

But is it bacteria that can get me sick? Because if it is, then we'd all be constantly sick. The point of washing my hands after touching a menu is there's a decent, non-zero chance that a person who recently touched it also may have sneezed/coughed/wipe their nose before touching it. That's not happening with my phone. Hell, I saw someone licking a menu just a few weeks ago at Spaghetti Factory.

Feel like maybe this thread could use a Schoolhouse Rock on how germs work.

Viruses infect us more often than bacteria, but regardless, the potential for getting infected is contingent on three things:

1. How much pathogen you're exposed to
2. How virulent the pathogen is
3. How well your body's defenses function

So, using a napkin which touched the ground probably won't kill you, but the odds go up if it landed in a warm, moist environment where pathogens thrive. Same with touching a menu, or your phone. But you're right, there is non-zero potential something could infect you, particularly if your immune system is impaired.

A couple caveats for the frequent hand washers/sanitizers.

1. Sanitizers (and soap, to a lesser degree) can dry your hands, and cracked skin can serve as an entry point for infection.
2. We coexist with helpful bacteria, fungi +/- viruses (debatable). Killing those guys off leaves a void for bad stuff to move in.

There's also a balance between "priming" your immune system with low level exposures, and overwhelming it. Plus, there's an element of luck involved.

I wash/sanitize my hands frequently in the hospital, because it's a place where sick people congregate. I also wear a mask in the the ER, having been coughed on more times than I can remember.

Outside work, I wash my hands after using the restroom, and before I eat. Almost never use sanitizer. Like @gianmarco, avoid touching eyes/nose/mouth with fingers that might be dirty.

Finally, ordering and eating quickly, not talking too much, or taking photos, minimizes my exposure time. If others follow suit, we likely can avoid another pandemic. TIA.

I dont disagree with this, but I feel like just about everywhere in public is "a place where sick people congregate." Especially this time of year. So I dont blame anyone for wanting to wash their hands.

Also, I've never had cracked skin from sanitizer. I don't think I use it nearly enough for that to happen.

I can think of three places I frequent where I get borderline obsessed with clean hands, restaurants, touching the grocery cart, and airports. All places where I will touch things that have likely recently been touched by someone who is sick.

If you're saying that these germs don't live long enough on these surfaces to warrant such measures, then I can rest easier. But I always thought that wasn't the case.

I'd avoid all currency and ESPECIALLY any coins.......pennies specifically. According to internet, 76% of all pennies have visited the inside of a human rectum.

Wonder how that study was conducted?

 

[Terminalxylem]

Finishing up vacation, including meeting up with groups of friends, I realized eating out may be a peeve. My general strategy:

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

Between people chatting and/or giving the appearance they weren’t ready, causing multiple delays, and one friend never accepting the meal choices presented, repeatedly revising her order, I welcome the return to dining at home.

One last thing: if you consistently finish your meal 10-20 minutes after everyone else in a group, you need to either adjust your eating pace, or talk less.

Thoughts?

I haven't read through the replies, okay I haven't read any of the replies to be honest. However, I've been guilty of this most of my life until the last few years. One day, years ago, after I lost another relative, I sat back and thought about those other family members I've lost over the years, some co-workers I've lost, friends, neighbors and acquaintances and it's made me realize that we really don't get much time here and how incredibly important it is to try to enjoy those all too brief moments.

We buried my mother-in-law during covid and family get togethers are not only just not the same, they just don't happen. The entire family dynamic of my in-laws is shattered now. The exact same thing happened with my own family when my father passed away 30 years ago. We never had another get together or sit down meal together again as a complete family. All of those years of great memories simply don't happen again and all those little annoyances I used to have are long forgotten.

The next time you have a meeting with a group of friends you should really focus on calming down, looking around, keeping your ears and eyes open and just drink it all in and enjoy the moment, the time you have because you really don't know how many of those exact experiences you have left.

Good point, but I think a bunch of you are overestimating how much these peeves annoy me. It’s really not a big deal.

You also don’t know how involved I am in ensuring my friends and family maintain connections.

But I appreciate the sentiment.

 

[bigbottom]

Good point, but I think a bunch of you are overestimating how much these peeves annoy me. It’s really not a big deal.

They seemed to annoy you enough to start a thread here on the topic. And you also had this to say:

Between people chatting and/or giving the appearance they weren’t ready, causing multiple delays, and one friend never accepting the meal choices presented, repeatedly revising her order, I welcome the return to dining at home.

I may be Type A, a little.

Sometimes I have to force a more leisure persona in large groups. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I just grin and bear it 99.9% of the time.

I think most of us are just going off what you have said in this thread. It seems like these things annoy you more than a little.

 

[Beef Ravioli Part 2]

But is it bacteria that can get me sick? Because if it is, then we'd all be constantly sick. The point of washing my hands after touching a menu is there's a decent, non-zero chance that a person who recently touched it also may have sneezed/coughed/wipe their nose before touching it. That's not happening with my phone. Hell, I saw someone licking a menu just a few weeks ago at Spaghetti Factory.

Feel like maybe this thread could use a Schoolhouse Rock on how germs work.

Viruses infect us more often than bacteria, but regardless, the potential for getting infected is contingent on three things:

1. How much pathogen you're exposed to
2. How virulent the pathogen is
3. How well your body's defenses function

So, using a napkin which touched the ground probably won't kill you, but the odds go up if it landed in a warm, moist environment where pathogens thrive. Same with touching a menu, or your phone. But you're right, there is non-zero potential something could infect you, particularly if your immune system is impaired.

A couple caveats for the frequent hand washers/sanitizers.

1. Sanitizers (and soap, to a lesser degree) can dry your hands, and cracked skin can serve as an entry point for infection.
2. We coexist with helpful bacteria, fungi +/- viruses (debatable). Killing those guys off leaves a void for bad stuff to move in.

There's also a balance between "priming" your immune system with low level exposures, and overwhelming it. Plus, there's an element of luck involved.

I wash/sanitize my hands frequently in the hospital, because it's a place where sick people congregate. I also wear a mask in the the ER, having been coughed on more times than I can remember.

Outside work, I wash my hands after using the restroom, and before I eat. Almost never use sanitizer. Like @gianmarco, avoid touching eyes/nose/mouth with fingers that might be dirty.

Finally, ordering and eating quickly, not talking too much, or taking photos, minimizes my exposure time. If others follow suit, we likely can avoid another pandemic. TIA.

I dont disagree with this, but I feel like just about everywhere in public is "a place where sick people congregate." Especially this time of year. So I dont blame anyone for wanting to wash their hands.

Also, I've never had cracked skin from sanitizer. I don't think I use it nearly enough for that to happen.

I can think of three places I frequent where I get borderline obsessed with clean hands, restaurants, touching the grocery cart, and airports. All places where I will touch things that have likely recently been touched by someone who is sick.

If you're saying that these germs don't live long enough on these surfaces to warrant such measures, then I can rest easier. But I always thought that wasn't the case.

I'd avoid all currency and ESPECIALLY any coins.......pennies specifically. According to internet, 76% of all pennies have visited the inside of a human rectum.

 

[General Malaise]

But is it bacteria that can get me sick? Because if it is, then we'd all be constantly sick. The point of washing my hands after touching a menu is there's a decent, non-zero chance that a person who recently touched it also may have sneezed/coughed/wipe their nose before touching it. That's not happening with my phone. Hell, I saw someone licking a menu just a few weeks ago at Spaghetti Factory.

Feel like maybe this thread could use a Schoolhouse Rock on how germs work.

Viruses infect us more often than bacteria, but regardless, the potential for getting infected is contingent on three things:

1. How much pathogen you're exposed to
2. How virulent the pathogen is
3. How well your body's defenses function

So, using a napkin which touched the ground probably won't kill you, but the odds go up if it landed in a warm, moist environment where pathogens thrive. Same with touching a menu, or your phone. But you're right, there is non-zero potential something could infect you, particularly if your immune system is impaired.

A couple caveats for the frequent hand washers/sanitizers.

1. Sanitizers (and soap, to a lesser degree) can dry your hands, and cracked skin can serve as an entry point for infection.
2. We coexist with helpful bacteria, fungi +/- viruses (debatable). Killing those guys off leaves a void for bad stuff to move in.

There's also a balance between "priming" your immune system with low level exposures, and overwhelming it. Plus, there's an element of luck involved.

I wash/sanitize my hands frequently in the hospital, because it's a place where sick people congregate. I also wear a mask in the the ER, having been coughed on more times than I can remember.

Outside work, I wash my hands after using the restroom, and before I eat. Almost never use sanitizer. Like @gianmarco, avoid touching eyes/nose/mouth with fingers that might be dirty.

Finally, ordering and eating quickly, not talking too much, or taking photos, minimizes my exposure time. If others follow suit, we likely can avoid another pandemic. TIA.

I dont disagree with this, but I feel like just about everywhere in public is "a place where sick people congregate." Especially this time of year. So I dont blame anyone for wanting to wash their hands.

Also, I've never had cracked skin from sanitizer. I don't think I use it nearly enough for that to happen.

I can think of three places I frequent where I get borderline obsessed with clean hands, restaurants, touching the grocery cart, and airports. All places where I will touch things that have likely recently been touched by someone who is sick.

If you're saying that these germs don't live long enough on these surfaces to warrant such measures, then I can rest easier. But I always thought that wasn't the case.

I'd avoid all currency and ESPECIALLY any coins.......pennies specifically. According to internet, 76% of all pennies have visited the inside of a human rectum.

Wonder how that study was conducted?

They used robutts.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

For instance, some years ago I found out I offended somebody because I didn't pay because that person just always insisted on paying and I never fought him only to find out later I was supposed to.

Never bother about these idiots. We ignore them. I'm just not fighting about this crap.

 

[Da Guru]

Lost in his manifesto was the art of splitting the check.....I was rather looking forward to that one.

If anybody here is a Picasso of this artform, please fill me in.

I enjoy dining in groups and can be very patient with all other issues here. It's just the check thing that drives me nuts because it's that awful social awkwardness about it - especially if it's like a group of 8 (where the restaurant understandably won't split the tab) and how we're splitting it was never discussed ahead of time. I remember once going out with my wife (we were dating at the time) and her like three best friends and their significant others and it was just brutal when the check came, how to split was never discussed, and we sat there with multiple minutes of awkwardness (I didn't know the guys at all so I was reluctant to take charge).

Part of this is my fault. My mom was frugal to a fault and imposed that mindset on me and while I've kicked most of her frugality, I still can't help but focus on whether somebody is overpaying and if it's me or whatever. Also, while my dad isn't cheap like my mom, he's socially oblivious so he never gave me a good model of how to handle. Given all this, I also genuinely never really know what is expected of me where, while it's not that I'm trying to underpay or anything, I'll pay whatever I just need somebody to tell me what to pay! For instance, some years ago I found out I offended somebody because I didn't pay because that person just always insisted on paying and I never fought him only to find out later I was supposed to. I almost drove to his house and just threw cash at him to feel better about the situation.

My now always vote is just to chop it equally.

We went to a night out with a bunch of friends to a local pub. There were 18 total people and server said no splitting the bill. Now some people came early and left before bill, some late, some were drinking heavy, some not. Since my wife planned it when people left they were throwing money at us like "We only had 2 burgers and 4 beers..this should cover it. When the bill came it was a disaster as it was about 3 feet long. I was not going to go through the whole bill so just said whatever you think.

Bottom line it we put out an extra 80 bucks on top of our bill for people who did not put in enough or did not account for tip.

Lately when we go out to nice places with say 3-3 couples they ask up front how to you want the bills..we just say "Couples" and they give us our own. Much easier.

 

[Pip's Invitation]

This has become like the COVID thread in March 2020. Lots of talk about germs and hand cleanliness. I guess you all are feeling nostalgic?

 

[Zow]

Lost in his manifesto was the art of splitting the check.....I was rather looking forward to that one.

If anybody here is a Picasso of this artform, please fill me in.

I enjoy dining in groups and can be very patient with all other issues here. It's just the check thing that drives me nuts because it's that awful social awkwardness about it - especially if it's like a group of 8 (where the restaurant understandably won't split the tab) and how we're splitting it was never discussed ahead of time. I remember once going out with my wife (we were dating at the time) and her like three best friends and their significant others and it was just brutal when the check came, how to split was never discussed, and we sat there with multiple minutes of awkwardness (I didn't know the guys at all so I was reluctant to take charge).

Part of this is my fault. My mom was frugal to a fault and imposed that mindset on me and while I've kicked most of her frugality, I still can't help but focus on whether somebody is overpaying and if it's me or whatever. Also, while my dad isn't cheap like my mom, he's socially oblivious so he never gave me a good model of how to handle. Given all this, I also genuinely never really know what is expected of me where, while it's not that I'm trying to underpay or anything, I'll pay whatever I just need somebody to tell me what to pay! For instance, some years ago I found out I offended somebody because I didn't pay because that person just always insisted on paying and I never fought him only to find out later I was supposed to. I almost drove to his house and just threw cash at him to feel better about the situation.

My now always vote is just to chop it equally.

We went to a night out with a bunch of friends to a local pub. There were 18 total people and server said no splitting the bill. Now some people came early and left before bill, some late, some were drinking heavy, some not. Since my wife planned it when people left they were throwing money at us like "We only had 2 burgers and 4 beers..this should cover it. When the bill came it was a disaster as it was about 3 feet long. I was not going to go through the whole bill so just said whatever you think.

Bottom line it we put out an extra 80 bucks on top of our bill for people who did not put in enough or did not account for tip.

Lately when we go out to nice places with say 3-3 couples they ask up front how to you want the bills..we just say "Couples" and they give us our own. Much easier.

Yeah, the bold makes me soooo happy.

However, I've had experiences like yours where we the establishment won't let us split up the bill and it's always a disaster like that.

 

[shuke]

You people are weird.

Seriously. Open the restaurant door - excuse me everyone, I need to wash up. Order some food - excuse me again. Waiter brings a glass of water - sorry I need to wipe this glass down. Fork touches the table - excuse me, can I have a new fork please...on and on

Where are you getting this? You asked if I washed my hands before I eat at a restaurant, and I said yes. I do it once after I'm seated.

We're making fun of people for washing their hands before they eat? Really? Do you really not wash your hands?