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Dispute With My Wife. I'll Do What The FFA Rules. (1 Viewer)

(Read the facts in the first post before voting.) What should I do?

  • Ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is right about the parking situation, and you're wrong

    Votes: 14 4.4%

  • Ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is wrong about the parking, but she's right that a hus

    Votes: 11 3.5%

  • Ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is wrong about the parking, wrong about a husband alwa

    Votes: 63 19.9%

  • Don't ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is right about the parking situation, but it's h

    Votes: 14 4.4%

  • Don't ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is right about the parking situation, but you ca

    Votes: 3 0.9%

  • Don't ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is dead wrong, and your life sounds horrible.

    Votes: 211 66.8%
  • Total voters
    316
Gary Coal Man said:
We're having a parking dispute with our neighbor.  Technically, my wife is having a parking dispute with the neighbor, and she wants me to go deal with it.  I, however, agree with my neighbor on the facts of the case, and think my wife is being irrational and over demanding.

 
Click to expand...
whatever you do, don't tell her that you "agree with the facts of the case" and that she's "being irrational" unless you want to see her get really irrational and unreasonable.

 
Yankee23Fan said:
Your wife is asking you to solve a problem for her.  It's your job to do that if she asks, no matter how rational or irrational it is.  Failing to communicate directly to her is the problem, not so much the fact that you think she is wrong.

She wants you to be a leader and is asking you to do something important for her.  So talk to her about it.  Sit her down and have a rational discussion.  If she raises her voice, you end the discussion and tell her you will talk to her again when she calms down.  If she fights with you, do the same.  Explain to her your point of view.  And talk out how potential alternate solutions can be available.  But in that, you already need to have the alternate solutions in your head.

For example - is there anything in the alley that you can move?  Like garbage cans or a grill - basically is there something that you can move around from your possessions that make it easier for her to navigate the alley.  Is there something in your garage that you can move around the same way so that she can enter it at a different and easier angle?

I like the idea above of actually sitting in the car with her and showing her how to get in and out of the spot.  Playful banter during is a must.  

Finally, talk to your neighbor.  Tell him that your wife is concerned about not being able to navigate the alley with his car there and see if there is something he can move (garbage, grill) on his side to make it easier to fit both of the cars so that she isn't so nervous about hitting his car.

Is there any chance she doesn't like her car?  Has she been hinting to you that she would like a new one or a different one?  This could all be a passive agressive way for you to get her a new car.  Maybe something easier for her to drive?  

This has the potential to be a good friday thread.  But it's Wednesday.  So have something good ready to go on Friday as a follow up for us.
Click to expand...
WTF now he has to buy her a new car?

 
Yankee23Fan said:
Your wife is asking you to solve a problem for her.  It's your job to do that if she asks, no matter how rational or irrational it is.  Failing to communicate directly to her is the problem, not so much the fact that you think she is wrong.

She wants you to be a leader and is asking you to do something important for her.  So talk to her about it.  Sit her down and have a rational discussion.  If she raises her voice, you end the discussion and tell her you will talk to her again when she calms down.  If she fights with you, do the same.  Explain to her your point of view.  And talk out how potential alternate solutions can be available.  But in that, you already need to have the alternate solutions in your head.
Click to expand...
this has to be the worst advice i've ever read in the FFA

 
Gary Coal Man said:
One other guy parks just like my neighbor.

In my wife's defense, an old Asian guy neighbor who is our neighborhood equivalent to Gladys Kravitz is always waving me over to ask how I can tolerate my neighbor parking behind my house like that.  Since he's old and Asian I figure that he can relate to my wife's driving issues.
Click to expand...
HOA's were created for this sort of passive aggressive behavior toward one's neighbors. Have the wife complain to them and let them handle it. 

 
Time for a social media post about the poor guy on the street with the see you next tuesday of a wife who calls him names because he chose to openly disagree with her rather than pretend to agree (and prove that he REALLY is a wuss). If said wife has a sister, she'd be the ideal initiator of the post.

 
Eminence said:
This is where you collude with the neighbor.

"Listen Jeff, I don't really care but my wife keeps nagging me. She wants me to ask you to move your car. You aren't obliged to do so but I'm obliged as her husband to ask you."

You actually ask him and he might be more mindful... and your wife doesn't think you're a #####.

If he says no rehash the line,

"I talked to Jeff. He says he's sorry but he can't move it. He says he'll gladly talk to you about it if you want."
Click to expand...
How the #### did Eminence write this?  This is actually an intelligent response that gets to the point, makes sense, and allows your only chance to "not lose as badly as other" scenarios.

 
Eminence said:
This is where you collude with the neighbor.

"Listen Jeff, I don't really care but my wife keeps nagging me. She wants me to ask you to move your car. You aren't obliged to do so but I'm obliged as her husband to ask you."

You actually ask him and he might be more mindful... and your wife doesn't think you're a #####.

If he says no rehash the line,

"I talked to Jeff. He says he's sorry but he can't move it. He says he'll gladly talk to you about it if you want."
Click to expand...
Maybe start it out like this though...

"My wife's being a ####, but you probably already know that."  

 
thecatch said:
HOA's were created for this sort of passive aggressive behavior toward one's neighbors. Have the wife complain to them and let them handle it. 
Click to expand...
Terrible advice. 90% chance he's parking this way assuming nobody cares. Going straight to the HOA is the neighborhood equivalent of a sucker punch. He'll find out it was you because your wife has already complained to half the town about it and wives live to relay gossip like this. Then your neighbor hates you and your wife both. 

 
Yankee23Fan said:
Your wife is asking you to solve a problem for her.  It's your job to do that if she asks, no matter how rational or irrational it is.  Failing to communicate directly to her is the problem, not so much the fact that you think she is wrong.

She wants you to be a leader and is asking you to do something important for her.  So talk to her about it.  Sit her down and have a rational discussion.  If she raises her voice, you end the discussion and tell her you will talk to her again when she calms down.  If she fights with you, do the same.  Explain to her your point of view.  And talk out how potential alternate solutions can be available.  But in that, you already need to have the alternate solutions in your head.

For example - is there anything in the alley that you can move?  Like garbage cans or a grill - basically is there something that you can move around from your possessions that make it easier for her to navigate the alley.  Is there something in your garage that you can move around the same way so that she can enter it at a different and easier angle?

I like the idea above of actually sitting in the car with her and showing her how to get in and out of the spot.  Playful banter during is a must.  

Finally, talk to your neighbor.  Tell him that your wife is concerned about not being able to navigate the alley with his car there and see if there is something he can move (garbage, grill) on his side to make it easier to fit both of the cars so that she isn't so nervous about hitting his car.

Is there any chance she doesn't like her car?  Has she been hinting to you that she would like a new one or a different one?  This could all be a passive agressive way for you to get her a new car.  Maybe something easier for her to drive?  

This has the potential to be a good friday thread.  But it's Wednesday.  So have something good ready to go on Friday as a follow up for us.
Click to expand...
:lmao:

I think I got low T just reading this. Yankee23Fan you need to log out when you leave the computer. Your wife is posting while you're gone.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
cheese said:
Terrible advice. 90% chance he's parking this way assuming nobody cares. Going straight to the HOA is the neighborhood equivalent of a sucker punch. He'll find out it was you because your wife has already complained to half the town about it and wives live to relay gossip like this. Then your neighbor hates you and your wife both. 
Click to expand...
Agreed.  I won't let her go to the HOA with this issue.  I'll concede defeat and go talk to my neighbor before I let her file an HOA complaint.

 
Your neighbor is 100% correct which means you should back your wife.

duh.....

 
Last edited by a moderator:
cheese said:
Terrible advice. 90% chance he's parking this way assuming nobody cares. Going straight to the HOA is the neighborhood equivalent of a sucker punch. He'll find out it was you because your wife has already complained to half the town about it and wives live to relay gossip like this. Then your neighbor hates you and your wife both. 
Click to expand...
If you read the post I was quoting, you'd know that his wife isn't the only one in the neighborhood with that beef. There's a number of people parking in the manner described that could be the subject of said complaint. 

 
Yankee23Fan said:
Your wife is asking you to solve a problem for her.  It's your job to do that if she asks, no matter how rational or irrational it is.  Failing to communicate directly to her is the problem, not so much the fact that you think she is wrong.

She wants you to be a leader and is asking you to do something important for her.  So talk to her about it.  Sit her down and have a rational discussion.  If she raises her voice, you end the discussion and tell her you will talk to her again when she calms down.  If she fights with you, do the same.  Explain to her your point of view.  And talk out how potential alternate solutions can be available.  But in that, you already need to have the alternate solutions in your head.

For example - is there anything in the alley that you can move?  Like garbage cans or a grill - basically is there something that you can move around from your possessions that make it easier for her to navigate the alley.  Is there something in your garage that you can move around the same way so that she can enter it at a different and easier angle?

I like the idea above of actually sitting in the car with her and showing her how to get in and out of the spot.  Playful banter during is a must.  

Finally, talk to your neighbor.  Tell him that your wife is concerned about not being able to navigate the alley with his car there and see if there is something he can move (garbage, grill) on his side to make it easier to fit both of the cars so that she isn't so nervous about hitting his car.

Is there any chance she doesn't like her car?  Has she been hinting to you that she would like a new one or a different one?  This could all be a passive agressive way for you to get her a new car.  Maybe something easier for her to drive?  

This has the potential to be a good friday thread.  But it's Wednesday.  So have something good ready to go on Friday as a follow up for us.
Click to expand...
holy hell.

 
Late to the party but your wife is dead wrong on many issues. 

Let's talk about a husband blindly supporting his wife regardless of the issue which your wife seems to believe should happen.  If it's just the two of you behind closed doors, it's your obligation to tell her that she's wrong.  If you're in public, it's a different issue but not when you're alone.  

Tell her to grow up and be an adult.  

 
The neighbor is infringing on a common area. Wife is right whether it's easily maneuverable or not.

 
sbonomo said:
So OP, this was a landslide.  How did the conversation go with the wife?
Click to expand...
Not well.  She pulled the "I'll just have to call the HOA" card.  I agree with the poster who said that notifying the HOA before discussing it with the dude is the equivalent of a sucker punch.  I plan on picking up a bottle of vodka and heading over there this weekend.  Vodka is both of our preferred weapons of choice.

 
Gary Coal Man said:
Not well.  She pulled the "I'll just have to call the HOA" card.  I agree with the poster who said that notifying the HOA before discussing it with the dude is the equivalent of a sucker punch.  I plan on picking up a bottle of vodka and heading over there this weekend.  Vodka is both of our preferred weapons of choice.
Click to expand...


- Buy him a bottle of good Polish vodka and tell him it's his if he just makes this go away for a week.

 
haven't read the thread, but it isn't clear from your OP whether or not you ever actually told you wife WHY you don't want to talk to the neighbor. IE; have you told her you disagree with her and agree with the neighbor?

I would (politely) explain your disagreement, and let her know you won't stand in her way if she would like to make the complaint herself.

 
Gary Coal Man said:
Not well.  She pulled the "I'll just have to call the HOA" card.  I agree with the poster who said that notifying the HOA before discussing it with the dude is the equivalent of a sucker punch.  I plan on picking up a bottle of vodka and heading over there this weekend.  Vodka is both of our preferred weapons of choice.
Click to expand...
She's decided, "Well, if you want something done right, I guess you've got to do it yourself!"...and then brings out the HOA flamethrower.

 
renesauz said:
haven't read the thread, but it isn't clear from your OP whether or not you ever actually told you wife WHY you don't want to talk to the neighbor. IE; have you told her you disagree with her and agree with the neighbor?

I would (politely) explain your disagreement, and let her know you won't stand in her way if she would like to make the complaint herself.
Click to expand...
I gave her that option, and then she gave me the option to either stop being a ##### and go talk to the neighbor or she'd file an HOA complaint.

And "stop being a #####" were her exact words. 

 
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