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Do you have any gay family or friends? If so, how did you handle it? (1 Viewer)

I have had lots of gay people in my life, although several have met tragic ends.

We have some lesbian neighbors who have become really close friends, but they never came out to us - it was just obvious when they moved in. They have a son who is good friends with our son and we socialize and recreate (bike rides, hiking, rafting) a lot together.

One of my closest childhood friends came out to me when he was about 25. This was about 20 years ago. It surprised me at first, but I quickly got over it and we stayed close friends. He died a few years back of an infection.

I have a cousin who was married with two small kids (1 and 3 yoa) when she had an affair with her spin class instructor and made the decision that she was gay. I found that to be a bad deal on several levels (husband blind sided, little kids involved, cheating), and still resent her a bit for it.

I had an uncle who was gay, but it was never talked about in the family. He lived in CA and had a "really close friend named Ira". I think I was about 16 when I figured out that Ira was his partner. I'm sad that I was never closer to him and don't think I ever met Ira. My uncle died of diabetes in 1990.

My wife had a cousin who lived in Florida with his partner. We visited them a few times before and after we had kids and they were a lot of fun. He got hit by a car and died in 2006.

As some have said, it really shouldn't be a big deal.
Effing Gilligan
 
you treat them just like you treat anyone else because there is no them just a whole lot of us and all of us deserve the same respect take that to the bank

 
Years back my ex-wife was friends with a male couple. I personally was around them in social situations only a couple times. Was not a problem.

My brother, now deceased, was gay. He talked about it some, I listened in those rare occasions so it was also not a problem...until I told him I did not agree. At that moment our relationship was damaged beyond repair. I immediately became a bigoted, homophobe who was out to get him due simply to that fact.

A female co-worker who I count as a friend divorced, dated men for a time, then all of a sudden announces a relationship with another woman. I can imagine my reaction showed some surprise. No problems with her since.

So my experience is limited, but that is all I have.
Why did you tell him you 'did not agree'?

 
Years back my ex-wife was friends with a male couple. I personally was around them in social situations only a couple times. Was not a problem.

My brother, now deceased, was gay. He talked about it some, I listened in those rare occasions so it was also not a problem...until I told him I did not agree. At that moment our relationship was damaged beyond repair. I immediately became a bigoted, homophobe who was out to get him due simply to that fact.

A female co-worker who I count as a friend divorced, dated men for a time, then all of a sudden announces a relationship with another woman. I can imagine my reaction showed some surprise. No problems with her since.

So my experience is limited, but that is all I have.
Why did you tell him you 'did not agree'?
did not agree with him being gay? or that being gay is ok?

 
Years back my ex-wife was friends with a male couple. I personally was around them in social situations only a couple times. Was not a problem.

My brother, now deceased, was gay. He talked about it some, I listened in those rare occasions so it was also not a problem...until I told him I did not agree. At that moment our relationship was damaged beyond repair. I immediately became a bigoted, homophobe who was out to get him due simply to that fact.

A female co-worker who I count as a friend divorced, dated men for a time, then all of a sudden announces a relationship with another woman. I can imagine my reaction showed some surprise. No problems with her since.

So my experience is limited, but that is all I have.
Why did you tell him you 'did not agree'?
did not agree with him being gay? or that being gay is ok?
From the reaction I'm guessing that the poster told his brother he disapproved of the lifestyle.

Everyone has their opinions and all just not sure why that would be one you ever offer up to someone you care about.

 
Years back my ex-wife was friends with a male couple. I personally was around them in social situations only a couple times. Was not a problem.

My brother, now deceased, was gay. He talked about it some, I listened in those rare occasions so it was also not a problem...until I told him I did not agree. At that moment our relationship was damaged beyond repair. I immediately became a bigoted, homophobe who was out to get him due simply to that fact.

A female co-worker who I count as a friend divorced, dated men for a time, then all of a sudden announces a relationship with another woman. I can imagine my reaction showed some surprise. No problems with her since.

So my experience is limited, but that is all I have.
Why did you tell him you 'did not agree'?
did not agree with him being gay? or that being gay is ok?
From the reaction I'm guessing that the poster told his brother he disapproved of the lifestyle.

Everyone has their opinions and all just not sure why that would be one you ever offer up to someone you care about.
I's not that surprising considering there are lots of despicable people out there who disown family members who are gay. That is something I will never ever be able to wrap my head around.

 
Years back my ex-wife was friends with a male couple. I personally was around them in social situations only a couple times. Was not a problem.

My brother, now deceased, was gay. He talked about it some, I listened in those rare occasions so it was also not a problem...until I told him I did not agree. At that moment our relationship was damaged beyond repair. I immediately became a bigoted, homophobe who was out to get him due simply to that fact.

A female co-worker who I count as a friend divorced, dated men for a time, then all of a sudden announces a relationship with another woman. I can imagine my reaction showed some surprise. No problems with her since.

So my experience is limited, but that is all I have.
Why did you tell him you 'did not agree'?
did not agree with him being gay? or that being gay is ok?
From the reaction I'm guessing that the poster told his brother he disapproved of the lifestyle.

Everyone has their opinions and all just not sure why that would be one you ever offer up to someone you care about.
I's not that surprising considering there are lots of despicable people out there who disown family members who are gay. That is something I will never ever be able to wrap my head around.
I don't have any gay family members and wouldn't disown any of them should they declare themselves homosexual. I have also never refused to do business with anyone who is openly homosexual and have treated them with the same professional courtesy as anybody else.

However, if someone asks my opinion on whether or not I approve of the lifestyle they are going to get a straight-up honest answer, a resounding no. I won't turn them out but I'm also not going to support their political agenda or engage in social activities at homosexual events. If they don't like it, too bad. Life's full of disappointments. If you get upset by someone with a different point of view then don't ask.

 
I don't have any gay family members and wouldn't disown any of them should they declare themselves homosexual. I have also never refused to do business with anyone who is openly homosexual and have treated them with the same professional courtesy as anybody else.

However, if someone asks my opinion on whether or not I approve of the lifestyle they are going to get a straight-up honest answer, a resounding no. I won't turn them out but I'm also not going to support their political agenda or engage in social activities at homosexual events. If they don't like it, too bad. Life's full of disappointments. If you get upset by someone with a different point of view then don't ask.
Any reason for this?

 
I don't have any gay family members and wouldn't disown any of them should they declare themselves homosexual. I have also never refused to do business with anyone who is openly homosexual and have treated them with the same professional courtesy as anybody else.

However, if someone asks my opinion on whether or not I approve of the lifestyle they are going to get a straight-up honest answer, a resounding no. I won't turn them out but I'm also not going to support their political agenda or engage in social activities at homosexual events. If they don't like it, too bad. Life's full of disappointments. If you get upset by someone with a different point of view then don't ask.
Like synchronized diving?

 
I don't have any gay family members and wouldn't disown any of them should they declare themselves homosexual. I have also never refused to do business with anyone who is openly homosexual and have treated them with the same professional courtesy as anybody else.

However, if someone asks my opinion on whether or not I approve of the lifestyle they are going to get a straight-up honest answer, a resounding no. I won't turn them out but I'm also not going to support their political agenda or engage in social activities at homosexual events. If they don't like it, too bad. Life's full of disappointments. If you get upset by someone with a different point of view then don't ask.
Any reason for this?
Jesus

 
I don't have any gay family members and wouldn't disown any of them should they declare themselves homosexual. I have also never refused to do business with anyone who is openly homosexual and have treated them with the same professional courtesy as anybody else.

However, if someone asks my opinion on whether or not I approve of the lifestyle they are going to get a straight-up honest answer, a resounding no. I won't turn them out but I'm also not going to support their political agenda or engage in social activities at homosexual events. If they don't like it, too bad. Life's full of disappointments. If you get upset by someone with a different point of view then don't ask.
Any reason for this?
Jesus
I wasn't asking you, Schmendrick.

 
I knew someone growing up as "Ken". We had many mutual friends throughout high school and then everyone stayed local so we hung out a few times after high school as well. He now goes by Jessica after transitioning. The first few times I was around him/her it was actually pretty awkward for me. I've known plenty of gay people in the past (working in a bar for 8 years in college) but it was different seeing someone you knew as a he for so long, all of a sudden a she. On top of that, he went from being a quiet shy guy to being a very loud, outspoken center of attention person. I get it, he's finally comfortable with who he is, but it was just awkward. She'd joke about how wonderful having boobs was, and how useful it was to store things in her bra, etc. But it was like he/she was the one constantly bringing it up and drawing attention to it.

Even typing this was tough, because I keep wanting to type "he" but I guess it really should be "she" now.

 
I knew someone growing up as "Ken". We had many mutual friends throughout high school and then everyone stayed local so we hung out a few times after high school as well. He now goes by Jessica after transitioning. The first few times I was around him/her it was actually pretty awkward for me. I've known plenty of gay people in the past (working in a bar for 8 years in college) but it was different seeing someone you knew as a he for so long, all of a sudden a she. On top of that, he went from being a quiet shy guy to being a very loud, outspoken center of attention person. I get it, he's finally comfortable with who he is, but it was just awkward. She'd joke about how wonderful having boobs was, and how useful it was to store things in her bra, etc. But it was like he/she was the one constantly bringing it up and drawing attention to it.

Even typing this was tough, because I keep wanting to type "he" but I guess it really should be "she" now.
Ken wasn't/isn't gay.

 
I knew someone growing up as "Ken". We had many mutual friends throughout high school and then everyone stayed local so we hung out a few times after high school as well. He now goes by Jessica after transitioning. The first few times I was around him/her it was actually pretty awkward for me. I've known plenty of gay people in the past (working in a bar for 8 years in college) but it was different seeing someone you knew as a he for so long, all of a sudden a she. On top of that, he went from being a quiet shy guy to being a very loud, outspoken center of attention person. I get it, he's finally comfortable with who he is, but it was just awkward. She'd joke about how wonderful having boobs was, and how useful it was to store things in her bra, etc. But it was like he/she was the one constantly bringing it up and drawing attention to it.

Even typing this was tough, because I keep wanting to type "he" but I guess it really should be "she" now.
Ken wasn't/isn't gay.
He was born a guy, and dates a guy and a girl now. :shrug: guess I don't know the correct term, but the three of them all live together and consider themselves all dating each other.

 
Years back my ex-wife was friends with a male couple. I personally was around them in social situations only a couple times. Was not a problem.

My brother, now deceased, was gay. He talked about it some, I listened in those rare occasions so it was also not a problem...until I told him I did not agree. At that moment our relationship was damaged beyond repair. I immediately became a bigoted, homophobe who was out to get him due simply to that fact.

A female co-worker who I count as a friend divorced, dated men for a time, then all of a sudden announces a relationship with another woman. I can imagine my reaction showed some surprise. No problems with her since.

So my experience is limited, but that is all I have.
Why did you tell him you 'did not agree'?
did not agree with him being gay? or that being gay is ok?
From the reaction I'm guessing that the poster told his brother he disapproved of the lifestyle.

Everyone has their opinions and all just not sure why that would be one you ever offer up to someone you care about.
I's not that surprising considering there are lots of despicable people out there who disown family members who are gay. That is something I will never ever be able to wrap my head around.
I don't have any gay family members and wouldn't disown any of them should they declare themselves homosexual. I have also never refused to do business with anyone who is openly homosexual and have treated them with the same professional courtesy as anybody else.

However, if someone asks my opinion on whether or not I approve of the lifestyle they are going to get a straight-up honest answer, a resounding no. I won't turn them out but I'm also not going to support their political agenda or engage in social activities at homosexual events. If they don't like it, too bad. Life's full of disappointments. If you get upset by someone with a different point of view then don't ask.
I don't get the whole brutal honesty avenue. There is a grey area between lying and being blunt. Maybe walk around the topic a bit.

Plus, I think it's unlikely that someone who is gay is actually asking people to validate them. More likely that opinionated SOBs decide they just must share their opinion on the matter.

 
Have two family members (cousin and different cousin's kid) who are gay. Treat them like everyone else in the family. :shrug:

 
Nothing to handle. My sister came out as "bi" a long while back and, if anything, she seemed more fazed that I was unfazed than anything. Have a number of friends / family that are gay (and others that I fear are in the closet, and maybe lying to themselves) and it's not a big deal in any way.

 
I don't have any gay family members and wouldn't disown any of them should they declare themselves homosexual. I have also never refused to do business with anyone who is openly homosexual and have treated them with the same professional courtesy as anybody else.

However, if someone asks my opinion on whether or not I approve of the lifestyle they are going to get a straight-up honest answer, a resounding no. I won't turn them out but I'm also not going to support their political agenda or engage in social activities at homosexual events. If they don't like it, too bad. Life's full of disappointments. If you get upset by someone with a different point of view then don't ask.
Any reason for this?
Jesus
I wasn't asking you, Schmendrick.
I was answering for him.

 
Ive always wondered if a gay friend would be the ultimate wingman
For another gay guy?
hot chicks love gay guys because they know the gay guy isnt being fake just trying to get in her pants. you want the gay guy to be your wingman so he can lower the hot chicks defenses and you can get into her pants.
Married women go to gay bars and dance with gays guys. They also sleep with them. I knew a bi-guy who picked up a lot a frustrated married women at a gay bar.

 
I have a weird but serious question....

Do you think it's odd for a gay man to be in a men's lockerroom? Wouldn't that be the same as a non gay mam in a women's lockerroom

 
I've thought about this a few times and I literally don't have a relationship with a single person who has come out as gay.

I only know of two people from my HS who are known homosexuals and I don't know that I ever even had a conversation with either of them. I can't think of anyone I knew in college who I've heard was gay either.

I honestly haven't done this on purpose, but the combination of the majority of my friends being from church and growing up/living in an extremely conservative area has likely kept me from meeting people who are openly gay.

I did go to college in St Louis and live/work there afterwards for 4 years, so you'd think I would have met and associated with at least one openly gay person. But in college, I played two sports and hung out primarily with either athletes or Christians. Then after school, almost all of my close friends were married and went to church.

Work would have been the best place for me to come across at least one openly gay person, but after racking my brain I seriously can't come up with a single person who I know was gay.

It's like I'm some kind of gay person repellant. Wherever I go they either leave or stay in hiding.

ETA: also, not a single gay family member. My wife has like a second cousin who recently came out as gay, but I only met her twice and couldn't even tell you her last name.
Athletes and Christians can't be gay, so I understand
Not what I said, Ace.Churches and locker rooms are traditionally the two least friendly places for homosexuals. Anyone who I knew that was gay likely kept it a secret. I made a distinct point to say that I didn't know of anyone, not that there weren't any around me. I honestly believe there had to, it is just that no one came out.

But, hey, keep reading what you want and ignore what people actually say. You are soooooo smart.

 

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