Getting Remarried - Finances? (1 Viewer)

[dancingbones]

We plan on spending our lives together, and want our relationship status to reflect that.

What was your plan with the first marriage?

Get married, raise a family, live happily ever after!

 

[dancingbones]

You're the hedonism dude, yes?

This place has the memory of an elephant!

I will only consent to this marriage if it yields more exotic tales like you've spun in the past.

I'm now very happily monogamous, so you'll have to rely on Arizona Ron for the exotic tales.

Just curious - does the new wife-to-be know about the swinging? If so, what was her reaction?

Yes, she knows it all - we were friends all through that period of my life (have known her for almost 20 yrs).

She has no problems that that was how it was, and no question that that is not how she wants it to be.

I am glad somebody else brought this up. I was thinking about asking the same questions.

My less than scientific research tells me that a very high proportion of couples that do the swinging thing end up being divorced a few years later.

So I was wondering if you have seen the same thing? Also, do you think the non-monogamy was a symptom of something wrong with your relationship or was it the actual cause of the problems.

My less than scientific experience validates your hypothesis.

2 of the 3 couples that went to Jamaica are now divorced. In my case the non-monogamy was a symptom more than the cause, IMO.

Probably made it easier to end it after really feeling like we had explored all options to make it work.

But, back to the topic at hand...

 

[Zow]

You're in MN?

Yankee has given you some very good general info but you really want to consult with a family law attorney in your jurisdiction.

 

[Bucky86]

The name dancingbones makes a lot of sense.

 

[RUSF18]

We plan on spending our lives together, and want our relationship status to reflect that.

What was your plan with the first marriage?

Everyone knows the first one is practice and you really give it a go on the second

This is also how you described taking a ####.

Good luck with your marriage.

 

[MC Gas Money]

We plan on spending our lives together, and want our relationship status to reflect that.

What was your plan with the first marriage?

Everyone knows the first one is practice and you really give it a go on the second

This is also how you described taking a ####. Good luck with your marriage.

Wtf are you talking about?

 

[Bucky86]

He said that is also how you described taking a #### and good luck with your marriage.

 

[MC Gas Money]

He said that is also how you described taking a #### and good luck with your marriage.

I did not. I would never compare it to a beatiful, cathartic miasma.

A marriage is just no comparison.

 

[dancingbones]

You're in MN?

Yankee has given you some very good general info but you really want to consult with a family law attorney in your jurisdiction.

Yep, agreed. I was trying to avoid shelling out a bunch of cash to set up our finances, but sometimes that is what's needed. At the very least this will give us the opportunity to reexamine how we have everything set up & see what makes sense & what we need going forward. Thanks to all who have chimed in, I appreciate it.

 

[Deepster]

Why not cohabitate and skip the piece of paper from the state?

Yeah, this. Why even get married?

We plan on spending our lives together, and want our relationship status to reflect that.

Plus, didn't realize what a big deal the news that we were engaged would have on my boys (11 & 14), but they really love the idea of having a step-mom, and it seems to have provided some stability that I think they didn't know was there. So, in short, we're getting married to set ourselves up to spend the rest of our lives together and provide the best family environment for my (our) kids.

We plan on spending our lives together, and want our relationship to reflect that.....but I'm on a message board asking strangers for advice to cover every single financial pitfall for when we split up. You're talking out of both sides of your mouth, GB.

If you're not religious and need the marriage blessed by god....and you don't plan on having kids together, I see no logical reason to get remarried. That concept went extinct in the 50's.

 

[dancingbones]

I picked up the Kiplinger's yesterday, and found this article in it.

The Financial Pros and Cons of Getting Married Later in LifeSome compelling reasons to do a fake marriage, and not as many for getting real married. Problem is that we actually want to be real married! (Not for religious reasons at all - just feel that is the form that fits what we're up to in our lives together).

We'll have to file all of this under "stuff I didn't think about before popping the question".

Interested to hear if there are any FBGs in similar situations & how you have handled it?

Our main concern is not that we'll split up (as referenced by the above poster), but rather that our estates go where we want them to go (and that each person's estate be protected from being bled dry from mandated long term care for the other). Small possibility of that happening, I know - but it is a real concern for us. My grandmother had much of her $$$ used to pay for my grandfather's nursing home care. And my fiance is Canadian - so she already thinks the cost of health care here in the US is ridiculous. Her plan if needing nursing home care would simply be to move back to Canada.

 

[dancingbones]

From the Kiplinger's Article:

In sickness and in health?The high cost of health care—particularly long-term care—can create one big disincentive for older couples to get married. Once you wed, you are responsible for your spouse’s medical debts, says Howard Krooks, a past president of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys. If your spouse ends up in a nursing home, the cost could deplete your estate.

Medicare doesn't cover most nursing home care, and married couples’ combined assets are counted when determining eligibility for Medicaid. The spouse who remains at home is generally allowed to keep a certain amount of “countable assets” (for 2015, spouses can keep up to $119,220) along with certain exempt assets, such as a car. An unmarried partner’s investments, savings and other assets usually aren’t counted at all unless they’re jointly owned

 

[No. 16]

I picked up the Kiplinger's yesterday, and found this article in it.

The Financial Pros and Cons of Getting Married Later in Life

Some compelling reasons to do a fake marriage, and not as many for getting real married. Problem is that we actually want to be real married! (Not for religious reasons at all - just feel that is the form that fits what we're up to in our lives together).

We'll have to file all of this under "stuff I didn't think about before popping the question".

Interested to hear if there are any FBGs in similar situations & how you have handled it?

Our main concern is not that we'll split up (as referenced by the above poster), but rather that our estates go where we want them to go (and that each person's estate be protected from being bled dry from mandated long term care for the other). Small possibility of that happening, I know - but it is a real concern for us. My grandmother had much of her $$$ used to pay for my grandfather's nursing home care. And my fiance is Canadian - so she already thinks the cost of health care here in the US is ridiculous. Her plan if needing nursing home care would simply be to move back to Canada.

You make double what she makes. Whose estate really needs to be protected here?