What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

GM's thread about nothing (27 Viewers)

Going to see Ace Frehley tonight at Pittsburgh's 'Ribs on the River' for my anniversary. Last time I saw him solo, was at a banquet hall in front of about 150 people. I *think* there may be more people at this show. Still, got seats in the 4th row.

 
'General Malaise said:
Dear Triscuits - Cracked Pepper & Olive Oil Flavor:

I love you. I mean, I know it looks like I profess love to all sorts of foods, especially things burdened with meat, but they aren't here right now and you are. And even if they were here - perhaps if I were surrounded by a garden of hamburgers, Sbarro's double stacked pizza sandwiches, giant cookies, endless shrimp and ice cream cake - I'd pick you out over them all, defying the laws of common sense like Jake choosing Vienna or America voting for Bush twice. And I'd raise you high in the air and stick my tongue so far down inside your open box that there would be no denying my desire for you to be inside me. I've been eating you for 15 minutes now and I could eat you for 15 more. When it comes to you, I am never satiated, though your spice can often leave my tongue dry and my face sweaty.

Love always and forever,

GM
Click to expand...
:goodposting:
 
Man, growing up Catholic sounds like teh suck. I thought I had it bad as a Presbyterian, but am realizing this was Diet Religion compared to the Cathies.

Went to a Catholic wedding last summer in Detroit. It was a BIG wedding - wife's family. When it was time for communion, the ENTIRE f'n church lined up for bread and wine. I mean everybody was getting up in line. Even the 91 year old grandfather with an oxygen tank. Took about 10 minutes to feed everybody. Only two guys remained seated. Me and Uncle Eddy. And yes, Uncle Eddy is every bit as awesome as he sounds. Was a little worried my wife's parents would say something to my wife about me staying seated, but nothing was said.

My mom wanted me and the boys to go to church last Sunday for Pentacostal Sunday (wear red, she said!) and then to a post-church picnic. I passed. She was not pleased. I'm good for church once or maybe twice a year to make her happy, but I'm done with church picnics for life.

 
'-fish- said:
'Tiger Fan said:
'-fish- said:
Asked my daughter what she wanted to do for Father's Day. She chose fishing and a picnic. Asked her what she wanted for the picnic: a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. I'm pretty sure I'm raising her right.
Click to expand...
XPopeyes >>>>>> KFC
Click to expand...
Agreed, but no Popeyes around here. KFC is the only game in town for fried chicken.
Click to expand...
For years, there was only one Popeyes in Portland. Wanna guess what street it was on?Then about 6 years ago, they opened up one up in Beaverton. The drive-thru line was utterly ridiculous for months. People lined up and waited for over an hour to get through. Parking was impossible. It was like the carnival booth line for pie in Revenge of the Nerds...every white suburbanite flocked to Popeyes, crazed for the NEW CHICKEN. Now it's just another fast food option among the dozens and dozens of choices out there.
 
'General Malaise said:
Man, growing up Catholic sounds like teh suck. I thought I had it bad as a Presbyterian, but am realizing this was Diet Religion compared to the Cathies. Went to a Catholic wedding last summer in Detroit. It was a BIG wedding - wife's family. When it was time for communion, the ENTIRE f'n church lined up for bread and wine. I mean everybody was getting up in line. Even the 91 year old grandfather with an oxygen tank. Took about 10 minutes to feed everybody. Only two guys remained seated. Me and Uncle Eddy. And yes, Uncle Eddy is every bit as awesome as he sounds. Was a little worried my wife's parents would say something to my wife about me staying seated, but nothing was said. My mom wanted me and the boys to go to church last Sunday for Pentacostal Sunday (wear red, she said!) and then to a post-church picnic. I passed. She was not pleased. I'm good for church once or maybe twice a year to make her happy, but I'm done with church picnics for life.
Click to expand...
I would think you did the right thing there, GM. For those that believe in it, taking the bread and wine is a sacred thing. Most churches I know even mention something about folks should remain seated if it's not something you're into. I wouldn't think staying seated like that a wedding would be any big deal at all. In fact, that's the respectful thing to do.J
 
'General Malaise said:
Man, growing up Catholic sounds like teh suck. I thought I had it bad as a Presbyterian, but am realizing this was Diet Religion compared to the Cathies.

Went to a Catholic wedding last summer in Detroit. It was a BIG wedding - wife's family. When it was time for communion, the ENTIRE f'n church lined up for bread and wine. I mean everybody was getting up in line. Even the 91 year old grandfather with an oxygen tank. Took about 10 minutes to feed everybody. Only two guys remained seated. Me and Uncle Eddy. And yes, Uncle Eddy is every bit as awesome as he sounds. Was a little worried my wife's parents would say something to my wife about me staying seated, but nothing was said.

My mom wanted me and the boys to go to church last Sunday for Pentacostal Sunday (wear red, she said!) and then to a post-church picnic. I passed. She was not pleased. I'm good for church once or maybe twice a year to make her happy, but I'm done with church picnics for life.
Click to expand...
The only good thing about the religion is getting drunk at the functions.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Who in the hell schedules a conference call at 3pm on a Friday?

#firstworldproblems

 
Last edited by a moderator:
'St. Louis Bob said:
'General Malaise said:
Man, growing up Catholic sounds like teh suck. I thought I had it bad as a Presbyterian, but am realizing this was Diet Religion compared to the Cathies.

Went to a Catholic wedding last summer in Detroit. It was a BIG wedding - wife's family. When it was time for communion, the ENTIRE f'n church lined up for bread and wine. I mean everybody was getting up in line. Even the 91 year old grandfather with an oxygen tank. Took about 10 minutes to feed everybody. Only two guys remained seated. Me and Uncle Eddy. And yes, Uncle Eddy is every bit as awesome as he sounds. Was a little worried my wife's parents would say something to my wife about me staying seated, but nothing was said.

My mom wanted me and the boys to go to church last Sunday for Pentacostal Sunday (wear red, she said!) and then to a post-church picnic. I passed. She was not pleased. I'm good for church once or maybe twice a year to make her happy, but I'm done with church picnics for life.
Click to expand...
The only good thing about the religion is getting drunk at the functions.
Click to expand...
Presbyterians aren't much for the drink. They made the switch from wine to grape juice. :mellow:
 
'St. Louis Bob said:
'General Malaise said:
Man, growing up Catholic sounds like teh suck. I thought I had it bad as a Presbyterian, but am realizing this was Diet Religion compared to the Cathies.

Went to a Catholic wedding last summer in Detroit. It was a BIG wedding - wife's family. When it was time for communion, the ENTIRE f'n church lined up for bread and wine. I mean everybody was getting up in line. Even the 91 year old grandfather with an oxygen tank. Took about 10 minutes to feed everybody. Only two guys remained seated. Me and Uncle Eddy. And yes, Uncle Eddy is every bit as awesome as he sounds. Was a little worried my wife's parents would say something to my wife about me staying seated, but nothing was said.

My mom wanted me and the boys to go to church last Sunday for Pentacostal Sunday (wear red, she said!) and then to a post-church picnic. I passed. She was not pleased. I'm good for church once or maybe twice a year to make her happy, but I'm done with church picnics for life.
Click to expand...
The only good thing about the religion is getting drunk at the functions.
Click to expand...
I'm bartending our church festival in a few weeks. Some for you, some for me
 
'General Malaise said:
'St. Louis Bob said:
'General Malaise said:
Man, growing up Catholic sounds like teh suck. I thought I had it bad as a Presbyterian, but am realizing this was Diet Religion compared to the Cathies.

Went to a Catholic wedding last summer in Detroit. It was a BIG wedding - wife's family. When it was time for communion, the ENTIRE f'n church lined up for bread and wine. I mean everybody was getting up in line. Even the 91 year old grandfather with an oxygen tank. Took about 10 minutes to feed everybody. Only two guys remained seated. Me and Uncle Eddy. And yes, Uncle Eddy is every bit as awesome as he sounds. Was a little worried my wife's parents would say something to my wife about me staying seated, but nothing was said.

My mom wanted me and the boys to go to church last Sunday for Pentacostal Sunday (wear red, she said!) and then to a post-church picnic. I passed. She was not pleased. I'm good for church once or maybe twice a year to make her happy, but I'm done with church picnics for life.
Click to expand...
The only good thing about the religion is getting drunk at the functions.
Click to expand...
Presbyterians aren't much for the drink. They made the switch from wine to grape juice. :mellow:
Click to expand...
I have a cousin that likes to say "if I had to choose a religion, I would choose Catholicism. It really isn't even close, they actually encourage you to drink, have sex and gamble."
 
'General Malaise said:
Man, growing up Catholic sounds like teh suck. I thought I had it bad as a Presbyterian, but am realizing this was Diet Religion compared to the Cathies.

Went to a Catholic wedding last summer in Detroit. It was a BIG wedding - wife's family. When it was time for communion, the ENTIRE f'n church lined up for bread and wine. I mean everybody was getting up in line. Even the 91 year old grandfather with an oxygen tank. Took about 10 minutes to feed everybody. Only two guys remained seated. Me and Uncle Eddy. And yes, Uncle Eddy is every bit as awesome as he sounds. Was a little worried my wife's parents would say something to my wife about me staying seated, but nothing was said.
Click to expand...
Catholics don't want you taking Communion with them. But don't worry - it's for your own protection!
"Because Catholics believe that the celebration of the Eucharist is a sign of the reality of the oneness of faith, life, and worship, members of those churches with whom we are not yet fully united are ordinarily not admitted to Communion. Eucharistic sharing in exceptional circumstances by other Christians requires permission according to the directives of the diocesan bishop and the provisions of canon law. . . . "

Scripture is clear that partaking of the Eucharist is among the highest signs of Christian unity: "Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread" (1 Cor. 10:17). For this reason, it is normally impossible for non-Catholic Christians to receive Holy Communion, for to do so would be to proclaim a unity to exist that, regrettably, does not.

Another reason that many non-Catholics may not ordinarily receive Communion is for their own protection, since many reject the doctrine of the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. Scripture warns that it is very dangerous for one not believing in the Real Presence to receive Communion: "For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died" (1 Cor. 11:29–30).
Click to expand...
 
'YSR said:
'General Malaise said:
Dear Triscuits - Cracked Pepper & Olive Oil Flavor:

I love you. I mean, I know it looks like I profess love to all sorts of foods, especially things burdened with meat, but they aren't here right now and you are. And even if they were here - perhaps if I were surrounded by a garden of hamburgers, Sbarro's double stacked pizza sandwiches, giant cookies, endless shrimp and ice cream cake - I'd pick you out over them all, defying the laws of common sense like Jake choosing Vienna or America voting for Bush twice. And I'd raise you high in the air and stick my tongue so far down inside your open box that there would be no denying my desire for you to be inside me. I've been eating you for 15 minutes now and I could eat you for 15 more. When it comes to you, I am never satiated, though your spice can often leave my tongue dry and my face sweaty.

Love always and forever,

GM
Click to expand...
:goodposting:
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: I have to go read the earlier pages in this thread.

 
'The_Man said:
'General Malaise said:
Man, growing up Catholic sounds like teh suck. I thought I had it bad as a Presbyterian, but am realizing this was Diet Religion compared to the Cathies.

Went to a Catholic wedding last summer in Detroit. It was a BIG wedding - wife's family. When it was time for communion, the ENTIRE f'n church lined up for bread and wine. I mean everybody was getting up in line. Even the 91 year old grandfather with an oxygen tank. Took about 10 minutes to feed everybody. Only two guys remained seated. Me and Uncle Eddy. And yes, Uncle Eddy is every bit as awesome as he sounds. Was a little worried my wife's parents would say something to my wife about me staying seated, but nothing was said.
Click to expand...
Catholics don't want you taking Communion with them. But don't worry - it's for your own protection!
"Because Catholics believe that the celebration of the Eucharist is a sign of the reality of the oneness of faith, life, and worship, members of those churches with whom we are not yet fully united are ordinarily not admitted to Communion. Eucharistic sharing in exceptional circumstances by other Christians requires permission according to the directives of the diocesan bishop and the provisions of canon law. . . . "

Scripture is clear that partaking of the Eucharist is among the highest signs of Christian unity: "Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread" (1 Cor. 10:17). For this reason, it is normally impossible for non-Catholic Christians to receive Holy Communion, for to do so would be to proclaim a unity to exist that, regrettably, does not.

Another reason that many non-Catholics may not ordinarily receive Communion is for their own protection, since many reject the doctrine of the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. Scripture warns that it is very dangerous for one not believing in the Real Presence to receive Communion: "For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died" (1 Cor. 11:29–30).
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
lol @ "regrettably"We wish you guys could be part of the club, but...

:pointstobible:

:shrugs:

 
Last edited by a moderator:
'The_Man said:
'General Malaise said:
Man, growing up Catholic sounds like teh suck. I thought I had it bad as a Presbyterian, but am realizing this was Diet Religion compared to the Cathies.

Went to a Catholic wedding last summer in Detroit. It was a BIG wedding - wife's family. When it was time for communion, the ENTIRE f'n church lined up for bread and wine. I mean everybody was getting up in line. Even the 91 year old grandfather with an oxygen tank. Took about 10 minutes to feed everybody. Only two guys remained seated. Me and Uncle Eddy. And yes, Uncle Eddy is every bit as awesome as he sounds. Was a little worried my wife's parents would say something to my wife about me staying seated, but nothing was said.
Click to expand...
Catholics don't want you taking Communion with them. But don't worry - it's for your own protection!
"Because Catholics believe that the celebration of the Eucharist is a sign of the reality of the oneness of faith, life, and worship, members of those churches with whom we are not yet fully united are ordinarily not admitted to Communion. Eucharistic sharing in exceptional circumstances by other Christians requires permission according to the directives of the diocesan bishop and the provisions of canon law. . . . "

Scripture is clear that partaking of the Eucharist is among the highest signs of Christian unity: "Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread" (1 Cor. 10:17). For this reason, it is normally impossible for non-Catholic Christians to receive Holy Communion, for to do so would be to proclaim a unity to exist that, regrettably, does not.

Another reason that many non-Catholics may not ordinarily receive Communion is for their own protection, since many reject the doctrine of the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. Scripture warns that it is very dangerous for one not believing in the Real Presence to receive Communion: "For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died" (1 Cor. 11:29–30).
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
Very good. I did the right thing, then. I don't do that very often, so it feels great when I do!
 
'St. Louis Bob said:
I have a cousin that likes to say "if I had to choose a religion, I would choose Catholicism. It really isn't even close, they actually encourage you to drink, have sex and gamble."
Click to expand...
If you're Jewish, you are allowed to skip temple services if you're staying home to have sex with your wife. And you're allowed to use birth control.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
'Joe Bryant said:
'General Malaise said:
Man, growing up Catholic sounds like teh suck. I thought I had it bad as a Presbyterian, but am realizing this was Diet Religion compared to the Cathies. Went to a Catholic wedding last summer in Detroit. It was a BIG wedding - wife's family. When it was time for communion, the ENTIRE f'n church lined up for bread and wine. I mean everybody was getting up in line. Even the 91 year old grandfather with an oxygen tank. Took about 10 minutes to feed everybody. Only two guys remained seated. Me and Uncle Eddy. And yes, Uncle Eddy is every bit as awesome as he sounds. Was a little worried my wife's parents would say something to my wife about me staying seated, but nothing was said. My mom wanted me and the boys to go to church last Sunday for Pentacostal Sunday (wear red, she said!) and then to a post-church picnic. I passed. She was not pleased. I'm good for church once or maybe twice a year to make her happy, but I'm done with church picnics for life.
Click to expand...
I would think you did the right thing there, GM. For those that believe in it, taking the bread and wine is a sacred thing. Most churches I know even mention something about folks should remain seated if it's not something you're into. I wouldn't think staying seated like that a wedding would be any big deal at all. In fact, that's the respectful thing to do.J
Click to expand...
:mellow:
 
'DA RAIDERS said:
'Joe Bryant said:
'General Malaise said:
Man, growing up Catholic sounds like teh suck. I thought I had it bad as a Presbyterian, but am realizing this was Diet Religion compared to the Cathies. Went to a Catholic wedding last summer in Detroit. It was a BIG wedding - wife's family. When it was time for communion, the ENTIRE f'n church lined up for bread and wine. I mean everybody was getting up in line. Even the 91 year old grandfather with an oxygen tank. Took about 10 minutes to feed everybody. Only two guys remained seated. Me and Uncle Eddy. And yes, Uncle Eddy is every bit as awesome as he sounds. Was a little worried my wife's parents would say something to my wife about me staying seated, but nothing was said. My mom wanted me and the boys to go to church last Sunday for Pentacostal Sunday (wear red, she said!) and then to a post-church picnic. I passed. She was not pleased. I'm good for church once or maybe twice a year to make her happy, but I'm done with church picnics for life.
Click to expand...
I would think you did the right thing there, GM. For those that believe in it, taking the bread and wine is a sacred thing. Most churches I know even mention something about folks should remain seated if it's not something you're into. I wouldn't think staying seated like that a wedding would be any big deal at all. In fact, that's the respectful thing to do.J
Click to expand...
:mellow:
Click to expand...
Indeed, should I put my pants back on?
 
What about Churches? Better than Popeyes?

I only had KFC but everytime I do, I feel like my heart is going to be explode not long after eating it.

 
'Exit 1 said:
What about Churches? Better than Popeyes?I only had KFC but everytime I do, I feel like my heart is going to be explode not long after eating it.
Click to expand...
Kind of a Lee's guy myself but I limit my fried chicken ( I :heart: u fried chicken) intake since I'm pretty fat the way it is.
 
'General Malaise said:
Man, growing up Catholic sounds like teh suck. I thought I had it bad as a Presbyterian, but am realizing this was Diet Religion compared to the Cathies. Went to a Catholic wedding last summer in Detroit. It was a BIG wedding - wife's family. When it was time for communion, the ENTIRE f'n church lined up for bread and wine. I mean everybody was getting up in line. Even the 91 year old grandfather with an oxygen tank. Took about 10 minutes to feed everybody. Only two guys remained seated. Me and Uncle Eddy. And yes, Uncle Eddy is every bit as awesome as he sounds. Was a little worried my wife's parents would say something to my wife about me staying seated, but nothing was said. My mom wanted me and the boys to go to church last Sunday for Pentacostal Sunday (wear red, she said!) and then to a post-church picnic. I passed. She was not pleased. I'm good for church once or maybe twice a year to make her happy, but I'm done with church picnics for life.
Click to expand...
Yes you did the right thing. Really, partaking in communion is an expression that you believe that a miracle has just happened, and that the bread has been literally transformed into Christ's flesh. If you don't believe that, you really shouldn't be receiving communion. Reminds me of an interesting conversation with my mother, who fancies herself a devout Catholic but told me that it wasn't a literal transformation but a figurative one. Oops, sorry, no, and I hate to be the one to tell you but you really aren't Catholic if you don't hold one of our most core beliefs. Good times!PS Joe reads this thread? Yikes!
 
'St. Louis Bob said:
'Sarnoff said:
'St. Louis Bob said:
I have a cousin that likes to say "if I had to choose a religion, I would choose Catholicism. It really isn't even close, they actually encourage you to drink, have sex and gamble."
Click to expand...
If you're Jewish, you are allowed to skip temple services if you're staying home to have sex with your wife. And you're allowed to use birth control.
Click to expand...
Yeah but you can't eat bacon or shrimps.
Click to expand...
So you're saying this is a net loss that scales proportionately in relation to your age/numberof years married to the same psycho woman?
 
Moving from pants to something close. Might be something better for a "What is normal" poll, but how often do you replace your underwear stock? I am in a bit of a unique situation as I only have to worry about winding up broken and disabled on the street before anyone would get a chance to be that personal with me, but where should the line be drawn?

Is there a norm? Does it depend on the situation?

I am considering retiring a few pair that have been in the rotation long enough to provide plentiful airflow to areas that can use it in my current environment. I would be very popular in prison if I happened to find myself there. Boxers? Briefs? Keep on hanging on?

If the fabric fails in your drawers and no one is around to know it...Does it even matter?

Drunk and checking in

 
'rickyjgo said:
Moving from pants to something close. Might be something better for a "What is normal" poll, but how often do you replace your underwear stock? I am in a bit of a unique situation as I only have to worry about winding up broken and disabled on the street before anyone would get a chance to be that personal with me, but where should the line be drawn? Is there a norm? Does it depend on the situation? I am considering retiring a few pair that have been in the rotation long enough to provide plentiful airflow to areas that can use it in my current environment. I would be very popular in prison if I happened to find myself there. Boxers? Briefs? Keep on hanging on? If the fabric fails in your drawers and no one is around to know it...Does it even matter?Drunk and checking in
Click to expand...
Usually if they get stained or holes somewhere.....especially if you plan on seeing a lady friend. You don't want her seeing stainted or holy underwear.
 
Currently in the midst of an enormous family email brawl about - wait for it - the family reunion golf tournament. Over 60 emails in the last two days, a threatened second outlaw tournament, and relatives calling each other "classless pricks"

#needadrink

 
I haven't bought a pair of boxers for myself in years. I've bought some compression shorts for running, but boxers? Either my wife, ex-wife or gf past and present* are responsible for 100% of my non-workout related underwear.

*just joking!

 
'Thorn said:
Currently in the midst of an enormous family email brawl about - wait for it - the family reunion golf tournament. Over 60 emails in the last two days, a threatened second outlaw tournament, and relatives calling each other "classless pricks"#needadrink
Click to expand...
don't dangle the carrot and then yank it awaypost the #######ed things
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

General Malaise
GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing
1856 1857 1858
Replies
93K
Views
3M
-fish-
-fish-
T
***Official 2014 GMTAN Draft Thread***
34 35 36
Replies
2K
Views
45K
El Floppo
El Floppo
Early_10
***Official*** Seinfeld draft thread
25 26 27
Replies
1K
Views
36K
The Dreaded Marco
The Dreaded Marco

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 24 (members: 0, guests: 24)
Back
Top