GM's thread about nothing (34 Viewers)

[bostonfred]

My mother just learned how to send a text message. I'm thinking they might make for great reading for the rest of the world. She took my younger son to San Diego for the weekend and texted me probably 15 times. I haven't seen the Engrish language so mangled since I left Mississippi 15 years ago.

Not to sound creepy, but any chance I can get your Mom's digits? It's nothing weird, I just think it would be entertaining if she and I exchanged text messages when I'm really drunk.

The funny part of this post is that I think you actually mean that it would not be weird to text his mother while you were drunk.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

at my wife and kids.Wife went to Fresh and Easy (which was her nickname back in HS btw) to grab a few things. They always have free samples at a station in the back. Usually they have some employee manning the station but when the wife went over nobody was there. They had some sample she wanted to try but she didn't want one of the larger portions so she takes one from the middle of the group. All of a sudden this crazy old sample lady comes up from behind and puts her hand on my wife's shoulder "Those are good, right? But next time could you do me a favor and take one of the samples from the front?"Although the wife doesn't have nearly the same problem I do with strangers touching her she's not really thrilled by this. So anyway she comes home and tells us "That crazy old bat at the Fresh and Easy sample station touched me!"Kid #1: OK...just remember that whatever happened was not your fault and I love you no matter what. Now you have to tell me exactly what happened.Kid #2: Do we need to get the doll out so you can show us exactly where she touched you?

My kids just left with Mrs. SLB for the Gym. Dylan was wearing camo pants, a light blue shirt, light blue Mickey Mouse ears, a big laminated "4" around his neck that he got for his birthday and two different kinds of shoes. Mrs. SLB asked him if he was aware he had two different kinds of shoes on and he replied "yes, I like it that way".

 

[St. Louis Bob]

The house we put a bid on is the cousin of my college roommate's wife. Mrs. SLB found out last night on the FB. Small world.

 

[Captain Quinoa]

A co-worker, who has lived the entirety of his 45 years in Cleveland, just asked me what time zone we are in.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

The house we put a bid on is the cousin of my college roommate's wife. Mrs. SLB found out last night on the FB. Small world.

 

[cosjobs]

Her "friend" Amya seems fun. 499 pictures I may need to examine more closely.

She has a lot of headless friends. Which is exactly what I'm looking for.

gb camera phones

 

[cosjobs]

I've recently really gotten into cooking. Like in the last 6 months or so I've gone from a repertroir of tacos and grilling meat to going to try to pull this off wednesday for four people:- Romaine, Blue Cheese, & Bacon salad with roasted pine nuts- Grilled white fish (whatever is fresh when we go shopping) in a garlic parsley brown butter sauce- Cumin roasted potatoes- Sauteed asparagus with red peppers and kalamata olivesI'm excited and scared. I'm Jessie Freaking Spano.

I have been roasting my asparagus lately. Results have been great and it would make your meal service a little easier, not having to fix it a la minute for service. Takes about 15 min in a pan. Drizzle it w/ olive oil and add your salt, olives and red peppers.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Anyone seen Da Raiders

 

[The_Man]

Kid #1: OK...just remember that whatever happened was not your fault and I love you no matter what. Now you have to tell me exactly what happened.Kid #2: Do we need to get the doll out so you can show us exactly where she touched you?

My favorite part about moments like that is watching my wife's resignation as she is reminded again that our kids are chips off my block and the three of us will be cutting up - often at her expense - for pretty much the rest of her life.

 

[Bogart]

I'm in my mid 30's. I have a good job, with a desk, office and everything. A family with two kids. A somewhat responsible cog in society.

It's time for me to get some big boy sunglasses. The $12.99 sport/plastic/Terminator rejects just are cutting it anymore. I don't want aviator glasses, but what is considered proper sunshine eye wear for adults now a days?

 

[urbanhack]

holy #### I'm getting old.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

I'm in my mid 30's. I have a good job, with a desk, office and everything. A family with two kids. A somewhat responsible cog in society.It's time for me to get some big boy sunglasses. The $12.99 sport/plastic/Terminator rejects just are cutting it anymore. I don't want aviator glasses, but what is considered proper sunshine eye wear for adults now a days?

Same here.ETA: Wait not totally the same. I dont have an office. #fml

 

[McJose]

Kid #1: OK...just remember that whatever happened was not your fault and I love you no matter what. Now you have to tell me exactly what happened.Kid #2: Do we need to get the doll out so you can show us exactly where she touched you?

My favorite part about moments like that is watching my wife's resignation as she is reminded again that our kids are chips off my block and the three of us will be cutting up - often at her expense - for pretty much the rest of her life.

Exactly

 

[McJose]

I'm in my mid 30's. I have a good job, with a desk, office and everything. A family with two kids. A somewhat responsible cog in society.It's time for me to get some big boy sunglasses. The $12.99 sport/plastic/Terminator rejects just are cutting it anymore. I don't want aviator glasses, but what is considered proper sunshine eye wear for adults now a days?

I bought some Wayfarer type last month.They're prescription...now that's getting old.

 

[Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll]

I'm in my mid 30's. I have a good job, with a desk, office and everything. A family with two kids. A somewhat responsible cog in society.

It's time for me to get some big boy sunglasses. The $12.99 sport/plastic/Terminator rejects just are cutting it anymore. I don't want aviator glasses, but what is considered proper sunshine eye wear for adults now a days?

Same here.

ETA: Wait not totally the same. I dont have an office. #fml

 

[McJose]

Operation Not Flying to Denver is a GO.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Operation Not Flying to Denver is a GO.

why didn't you just crash at Swires pad?

 

[eoMMan]

I'm in my mid 30's. I have a good job, with a desk, office and everything. A family with two kids. A somewhat responsible cog in society.It's time for me to get some big boy sunglasses. The $12.99 sport/plastic/Terminator rejects just are cutting it anymore. I don't want aviator glasses, but what is considered proper sunshine eye wear for adults now a days?

I don't think sunglasses are worth spending a lot of money on. Mine always end up getting scratched, dropped in the water while fishing, sat on, etc.

 

[McJose]

Operation Not Flying to Denver is a GO.

why didn't you just crash at Swires pad?

Asked and answered.

 

[Bogart]

I'm in my mid 30's. I have a good job, with a desk, office and everything. A family with two kids. A somewhat responsible cog in society.It's time for me to get some big boy sunglasses. The $12.99 sport/plastic/Terminator rejects just are cutting it anymore. I don't want aviator glasses, but what is considered proper sunshine eye wear for adults now a days?

I don't think sunglasses are worth spending a lot of money on. Mine always end up getting scratched, dropped in the water while fishing, sat on, etc.

I don't want to spend a lot of money on them. But I need a new style. These bulky plastic ones just seem very douchey. They don't fit in a pocket without really sticking out, so I end up wearing them on my head or tucking them behind me in my collar. I'm one step away from doing the Guy Fieri thing putting them on backwards on my ears. Thinking I could find a nice small pair, ala John Lennon, that would slide easily into my front pocket, but I have no idea if that look is even good anymore.

 

[eoMMan]

I'm in my mid 30's. I have a good job, with a desk, office and everything. A family with two kids. A somewhat responsible cog in society.It's time for me to get some big boy sunglasses. The $12.99 sport/plastic/Terminator rejects just are cutting it anymore. I don't want aviator glasses, but what is considered proper sunshine eye wear for adults now a days?

I don't think sunglasses are worth spending a lot of money on. Mine always end up getting scratched, dropped in the water while fishing, sat on, etc.

I don't want to spend a lot of money on them. But I need a new style. These bulky plastic ones just seem very douchey. They don't fit in a pocket without really sticking out, so I end up wearing them on my head or tucking them behind me in my collar. I'm one step away from doing the Guy Fieri thing putting them on backwards on my ears. Thinking I could find a nice small pair, ala John Lennon, that would slide easily into my front pocket, but I have no idea if that look is even good anymore.

Gotcha. I know you said you don't like them, but aviators are what's "in" now.I'd say just go and wear what you like. Who cares what other people think. If you want to rock purple Oakleys, go for it.

 

[roadkill1292]

Operation Not Flying to Denver is a GO.

why didn't you just crash at Swires pad?

Asked and answered.

I thought McJose was Swires.

 

[McJose]

Operation Not Flying to Denver is a GO.

why didn't you just crash at Swires pad?

Asked and answered.

I thought McJose was Swires.

So did I.

 

[Disco Stu]

I'm in my mid 30's. I have a good job, with a desk, office and everything. A family with two kids. A somewhat responsible cog in society.

It's time for me to get some big boy sunglasses. The $12.99 sport/plastic/Terminator rejects just are cutting it anymore. I don't want aviator glasses, but what is considered proper sunshine eye wear for adults now a days?

I don't think sunglasses are worth spending a lot of money on. Mine always end up getting scratched, dropped in the water while fishing, sat on, etc.

I don't want to spend a lot of money on them. But I need a new style. These bulky plastic ones just seem very douchey. They don't fit in a pocket without really sticking out, so I end up wearing them on my head or tucking them behind me in my collar. I'm one step away from doing the Guy Fieri thing putting them on backwards on my ears. Thinking I could find a nice small pair, ala John Lennon, that would slide easily into my front pocket, but I have no idea if that look is even good anymore.

Gotcha. I know you said you don't like them, but aviators are what's "in" now.

Yeah, I just buy a bunch of cheap aviators and don't worry about them getting broken or lost. And I don't mind looking douchey. :style:

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Yeah, I just buy a bunch of cheap aviators and don't worry about them getting broken or lost. And I don't mind looking douchey. :style:

Just ordered 27 pair. When does the (kitty) start throwing itself at me?

 

[Disco Stu]

Yeah, I just buy a bunch of cheap aviators and don't worry about them getting broken or lost. And I don't mind looking douchey. :style:

Just ordered 27 pair. When does the (kitty) start throwing itself at me?

It's only a matter of time GB.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

At least DA RAIDERS didn't post the details of his harrassment from his work computer.

All seems well. she sent a text saying that her sister thought that her misinterpretation of my text was hysterical.

Anyone seen Da Raiders

I forgot to mention it's her identical twin sister!!

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I am addicted to Maui jim sunglasses. Up next, get them to put bifocal lenses in a pair. Not cheap at all. $$$ :suckstogetold:

 

[General Malaise]

My mother just learned how to send a text message. I'm thinking they might make for great reading for the rest of the world. She took my younger son to San Diego for the weekend and texted me probably 15 times. I haven't seen the Engrish language so mangled since I left Mississippi 15 years ago.

My mom just figure out texting about a year ago. I see it as a godsend, however.This is a typical phone call from my mom:

*ring*

Me: Hi, Mom.

Mom: OH, HI. I DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU WOULD PICK UP (the caps and bold are because she YELLS into the phone like Aunt Bee trying to get ahold of Sarah the Mayberry operator)

ME: Yeah, I'm here.

Mom: ARE YOU AWAKE?

Me: Yep...it's almost 11:30 (I'm not 16 anymore)

Mom: OH OK. LISTEN I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING...ARE YOU STILL THERE?

Me: Yes

Mom: OK, LISTEN. I FOUND THIS COUPON I GOT IN THE MAIL LAST MONTH FROM XYZ CLOTHING STORE BUT I WON'T USE IT SINCE THAT TIME THE GIRL WAS RUDE TO ME...DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THAT?

Me: No (dammit! I should have said yes)

Mom: [insert 5 minute long story about how the girl at XYZ store was rude because my mom's credit card was declined because my mom gave her an expired card instead of a new one. apparently the girl should have known]

Me: Oh wow. That girl sure was rude.

Mom: TELL ME ABOUT IT. SO ANYWAY I GOT THIS COUPON AND IT'S GOOD FOR 5% OFF ANY PURCHASE OVER $100 AND I WAS WONERING IF (wife) COULD USE IT? IT EXPIRES TOMORROW SO SHE'D HAVE TO USE IT RIGHT AWAY.

Me: Jeez...she might but she's not getting back into town until tomorrow morning.

Mom: DO YOU THINK SHE MIGHT WANT TO GO WHEN SHE GETS BACK???

Me: Hmmm...it is a tempting offer...I'll text her and ask (no way I'm texting my wife about this. I don't think she's ever even set foot in that old lady clothing store) if she wants it I'll call you back. If you don't here from me just toss it.

Mom: OH OK. SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY?

etc

etc

Wow...that's, uh....a lot like every conversation I have with my mom.*ring* "Hey mom, what's up?"

Mom (also a phone yeller): "HELLO? FORREST? IT'S ME, MOM."

Me: "Yes, I know it's you, mom. That's why I said 'hey mom' when I picked up".

Mom: "Are you working?"

Me: "Well, yes. It is 10am on a weekday. It's a good bet I'm at work."

on and on and on....

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Frosty, hey: http://www.celebuzz.com/2011-06-28/emma-stone-shows-off-sexy-bikini-bod-for-vanity-fair-photos/

 

[Fred Flintstone]

Drifter - Hang in the GB, in my experience, a lot of boys are a little slow with talking. My nephew for one, barely spoke a word til 3-4, but now you cant shut him up!

Floppo- Congrats on the new baby!!

SLB - Good luck with the house!

 

[mr. furley]

what's the point of sunglasses again?

 

[urbanhack]

what's the point of sunglasses again?

indoors or out?

 

[mr. furley]

what's the point of sunglasses again?

indoors or out?

let's go out for now and we'll talk in later

 

[Fred Flintstone]

By the way.

OH HAI!

As of yet unnamed (but the wife was leaning towards stripper names- please provide list- TIA), but totally healthy girl born today at 2:45 almost 4 weeks premature.

7lbs 6oz, 20 inches.

Don't tell HJS. TIA.

Newborns are creepy looking.

You should see them when it's just their head sticking out of a stretched to hell hoo ha and they're all purple and covered in white slime. It's like a scene from a horror movie.

Then try grabbing a view of a C-Section (which this was). :brainscarring:

I nearly puked my lunch on my wifes head when she had a C-Section and I peeked over the little gown curtain they put up on her chest. :X

 

[urbanhack]

what's the point of sunglasses again?

indoors or out?

let's go out for now and we'll talk in later

link

 

[Bogart]

what's the point of sunglasses again?

indoors or out?

let's go out for now and we'll talk in later

To see to drive? To stare at hotties at the pool without being too obvious?After sitting in a room with no windows for 10 hours, staring at a computer screen, I don't think I could drive home without them.

 

[Chaos Commish]

By the way.

OH HAI!

As of yet unnamed (but the wife was leaning towards stripper names- please provide list- TIA), but totally healthy girl born today at 2:45 almost 4 weeks premature.

7lbs 6oz, 20 inches.

Don't tell HJS. TIA.

Newborns are creepy looking.

You should see them when it's just their head sticking out of a stretched to hell hoo ha and they're all purple and covered in white slime. It's like a scene from a horror movie.

Then try grabbing a view of a C-Section (which this was). :brainscarring:

I nearly puked my lunch on my wifes head when she had a C-Section and I peeked over the little gown curtain they put up on her chest. :X

The hole fascinated me when the baby was out. I could just about slip a regulation football up insider her. They had a policy against dads viewing beyond the curtain because some who think they are not squeamish pass out and complicate the situation. I knew I wouldn't pass out and convinced them to let me watch. Just wow. To have an almost normal conversation with your wife while she's cut in half is surreal. How ya doin, sweetie?

Okay, honey.

No you're not okay. You're seriously wounded. :(

Really?



Also what have we decided about twelve year old girls starting their monthly cycle and late night cable television access?

 

[Tiger Fan]

Kid #1: OK...just remember that whatever happened was not your fault and I love you no matter what. Now you have to tell me exactly what happened.Kid #2: Do we need to get the doll out so you can show us exactly where she touched you?

My favorite part about moments like that is watching my wife's resignation as she is reminded again that our kids are chips off my block and the three of us will be cutting up - often at her expense - for pretty much the rest of her life.

My boys are only 4 months old, but I can't wait for this. When we all "talk" I tell them about all the times when we're going to gang up on mom and drive her nuts. She thinks it's already started b/c they are always better behaved when I'm home then when she's with them alone.

 

[roadkill1292]

Does whoever drives Studs also have the keys to chadjohnsonfan?

 

[Thorn]

Yeah, I just buy a bunch of cheap aviators and don't worry about them getting broken or lost. And I don't mind looking douchey. :style:

Just ordered 27 pair. When does the (kitty) start throwing itself at me?

I like this shtick and am stealing it. Go (blank) your mother if you don't like it.

 

[Thorn]

My mother just learned how to send a text message. I'm thinking they might make for great reading for the rest of the world. She took my younger son to San Diego for the weekend and texted me probably 15 times. I haven't seen the Engrish language so mangled since I left Mississippi 15 years ago.

My mom just figure out texting about a year ago. I see it as a godsend, however.This is a typical phone call from my mom:

*ring*

Me: Hi, Mom.

Mom: OH, HI. I DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU WOULD PICK UP (the caps and bold are because she YELLS into the phone like Aunt Bee trying to get ahold of Sarah the Mayberry operator)

ME: Yeah, I'm here.

Mom: ARE YOU AWAKE?

Me: Yep...it's almost 11:30 (I'm not 16 anymore)

Mom: OH OK. LISTEN I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING...ARE YOU STILL THERE?

Me: Yes

Mom: OK, LISTEN. I FOUND THIS COUPON I GOT IN THE MAIL LAST MONTH FROM XYZ CLOTHING STORE BUT I WON'T USE IT SINCE THAT TIME THE GIRL WAS RUDE TO ME...DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THAT?

Me: No (dammit! I should have said yes)

Mom: [insert 5 minute long story about how the girl at XYZ store was rude because my mom's credit card was declined because my mom gave her an expired card instead of a new one. apparently the girl should have known]

Me: Oh wow. That girl sure was rude.

Mom: TELL ME ABOUT IT. SO ANYWAY I GOT THIS COUPON AND IT'S GOOD FOR 5% OFF ANY PURCHASE OVER $100 AND I WAS WONERING IF (wife) COULD USE IT? IT EXPIRES TOMORROW SO SHE'D HAVE TO USE IT RIGHT AWAY.

Me: Jeez...she might but she's not getting back into town until tomorrow morning.

Mom: DO YOU THINK SHE MIGHT WANT TO GO WHEN SHE GETS BACK???

Me: Hmmm...it is a tempting offer...I'll text her and ask (no way I'm texting my wife about this. I don't think she's ever even set foot in that old lady clothing store) if she wants it I'll call you back. If you don't here from me just toss it.

Mom: OH OK. SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY?

etc

etc

Wow...that's, uh....a lot like every conversation I have with my mom.*ring* "Hey mom, what's up?"

Mom (also a phone yeller): "HELLO? FORREST? IT'S ME, MOM."

Me: "Yes, I know it's you, mom. That's why I said 'hey mom' when I picked up".

Mom: "Are you working?"

Me: "Well, yes. It is 10am on a weekday. It's a good bet I'm at work."

on and on and on....

my mom does all of this. But the kicker is she'll ask if I'm at work, I say yes, then she says, "well I won't keep you but I just wanted you to know..." then she tells me some story about running out of Eucharist at church. Then it's "ok, I'll let you go but did I tell you about..." the dimwit they have answering the phones at work sending calls to an empty cubicle. Rinse repeat until she's told me everything she wanted to say.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Yeah, I just buy a bunch of cheap aviators and don't worry about them getting broken or lost. And I don't mind looking douchey. :style:

Just ordered 27 pair. When does the (kitty) start throwing itself at me?

I like this shtick and am stealing it. Go (blank) your mother if you don't like it.

My mother is deceased, sir.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Yeah, I just buy a bunch of cheap aviators and don't worry about them getting broken or lost. And I don't mind looking douchey. :style:

Just ordered 27 pair. When does the (kitty) start throwing itself at me?

I like this shtick and am stealing it. Go (blank) your mother if you don't like it.

My mother is deceased, sir.

And?

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Yeah, I just buy a bunch of cheap aviators and don't worry about them getting broken or lost. And I don't mind looking douchey. :style:

Just ordered 27 pair. When does the (kitty) start throwing itself at me?

I like this shtick and am stealing it. Go (blank) your mother if you don't like it.

My mother is deceased, sir.

And?

This is a fair sports point.

 

[Chaos Commish]

Many times my mom or sister start rambling on the phone and I just set the phone down on my desk and go get some water, take whiz, maybe a poop. Many times they never miss me. I might pick up the phone and say, uh huh, or yeah, and then set it back down. Now before my sis gets on a roll, I ask, "Is this a monologue or a two way conversation?" She often answers that it's a monologue.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

My mom isnt dead by the way. Talked to her this morning in fact.

 

[Frostillicus]

Frosty, hey: http://www.celebuzz.com/2011-06-28/emma-stone-shows-off-sexy-bikini-bod-for-vanity-fair-photos/

What is with this blonde crap? I'm glad I broke up with her.

 

[Captain Quinoa]

My mom isnt dead by the way. Talked to her this morning in fact.

If she dies, you can have mine.

 

[Chaos Commish]

Heading to Los Angeles for a long Independence Day weekend. Staying with the lady's cousin 2 nights in west hollywood and then 3 nights at the Shade Hotel in Manhattan Beach. Any restaurant recommendations at the beach? Good Mexican?

Found this. Sheesh, I knew someone asked but couldn't remember where. Ya know that's a reeeeellly bizzy weekend so expect to waaaaiiiit for a seat at a popular restaurant. I call the expensive coastal socal mexican food gentrified and the reasonably priced gringoized. BOTH can be outstanding and some of the best Mex you will ever eat, but if you're seeking what SoCal is really known for, to me it's the awesome hole-in-the-many-many-walls, seriously authentic mex with lengua and cabeza on the menus.

Good beach gringo-ized.

La Playita is possibly the best ocean view joint for casual keeping the price reasonable and atmosphere nice. It's a worthwhile 2 mile walk south on the Strand from your hotel. There's others around King Harbor in Redondo, but as I recall, the price goes way way up or the quality goes down a little or both. I'm no authority though.

More authentic.

Even better eats, but not quite as cool a walk and location is El Tarasco on Rosecrans is closer to the authentic hole in the wall grub, super good slow cooked chunked beef burritos. I usually do carnitas or carne asada, but not here. It's about a mile north of your hotel.

Gentrified SoCal foofoo.

There's aLa Sirena in El Segundo about three miles away. I haven't eaten there but it looks like the same ownership as Laguna Beach. Pretty friggin' awesome organic fancy Mexican food.