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GM's thread about nothing (13 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
T Bell
Footballguy
Ah yes, the People's Republic of Santa Monica.Santa Monica, California. I have no use for a car on the weekends. I can run all my errands with a beer in a coffee mug.I do not understand what you're trying to say here.I've gone from a boozy brunch, pre-dinner drink/shower, to a dinner and drinks every single weekend for about 3 months.Gosh, that sounds like a terrible life
ETA: I'm post shower and waiting to go to dinner now....
Where do you live that you are so deprived of transportation?
Just stumble down to the Promenade, dodge the latest 80-year old who "accidentally" mowed down a dozen or more people in his car, sidestep the hari krishnas, and find a bar to park in.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Fishing derby was cold this morning. None of the kids caught fish, and I really tried. Cal won the attendance prize by guessing the closest to how many gummy worms were in a jar. He was pretty happy about that.
But at dinner...Dyl puts on this comic display that I can 't do justice in writing. He kept putting his feet on the chair with his knees in front of his face. I told him to put them down twice and on the third time he put his right one down but kept the left one up. He then acted like his left leg was completely independent of his body for a solid minute using that squeaky cartoon voice. He would lower it and raise it, yelling at his leg to obey him. Cal and myself were crying laughing while Mrs. SLB just put her hands in her face. He only broke character, once, and it was just for a second. Believe me, I gave him all the approval he was looking for. It was awesome.
But at dinner...Dyl puts on this comic display that I can 't do justice in writing. He kept putting his feet on the chair with his knees in front of his face. I told him to put them down twice and on the third time he put his right one down but kept the left one up. He then acted like his left leg was completely independent of his body for a solid minute using that squeaky cartoon voice. He would lower it and raise it, yelling at his leg to obey him. Cal and myself were crying laughing while Mrs. SLB just put her hands in her face. He only broke character, once, and it was just for a second. Believe me, I gave him all the approval he was looking for. It was awesome.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Ignoramus
Footballguy
T Bell
Footballguy
Since having kids, i spend a lot of time on the weekends working on projects in the garage. Its amazing how long these projects take.
Last edited by a moderator:
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
Ah yes, the People's Republic of Santa Monica.Santa Monica, California. I have no use for a car on the weekends. I can run all my errands with a beer in a coffee mug.I do not understand what you're trying to say here.I've gone from a boozy brunch, pre-dinner drink/shower, to a dinner and drinks every single weekend for about 3 months.Gosh, that sounds like a terrible life
ETA: I'm post shower and waiting to go to dinner now....
Where do you live that you are so deprived of transportation?
Just stumble down to the Promenade, dodge the latest 80-year old who "accidentally" mowed down a dozen or more people in his car, sidestep the hari krishnas, and find a bar to park in.
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
Just watched Argo with the missus. A decent film? Yes. I liked it. A Best Picture? Really? Was it a weak year or has the Academy just thrown away the 2 cents of credibility it had left?
Britney Spears
guest speaker
I thought it was great. shurg
kevzilla
Footballguy
about this castrato they have for a musical act.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
Very weak year.
strykerpks
Footballguy
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
Anyone ever hear of a thief stealing a car door? Literally, the driver side door just gone and everything else left as is?
strykerpks
Footballguy
My GB had his screen door stolen from the front of his house once.
From a car? No, seems fishy.
Happened to my sister. In Detroit. Yesterday. Not sure why they wouldn't just take the whole car. Never heard of anything like it.
Rustoleum
Footballguy
Pickup tailgates, yes. A car door? That's new.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
I really don't like how slim jims switched from a tear wrapper to a peel wrapper. The peel just never works.
strykerpks
Footballguy
mr roboto
Footballguy
That can't be Mrs Frosty approved. You got a secret stash?
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
I'm 
, looking at the box scores, and I can't figure this out -
It says Strassburg served up a HR, but he had 0 earned runs.
How's that possible? He had to get at least 1 ER, right?
, looking at the box scores, and I can't figure this out -It says Strassburg served up a HR, but he had 0 earned runs.
How's that possible? He had to get at least 1 ER, right?
ScottNorwood
Footballcutie
Not if there were two outs + an error in the inning before the HR was hitI'm
It says Strassburg served up a HR, but he had 0 earned runs.
How's that possible? He had to get at least 1 ER, right?
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
You a big Slim Jim guy?
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
I'm still shuked here.Not if there were two outs + an error in the inning before the HR was hitI'm
It says Strassburg served up a HR, but he had 0 earned runs.
How's that possible? He had to get at least 1 ER, right?
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
Shhh, it's not a slim jim. The reason it's a peel wrapper is because Mrs. Frosty peels them away and replaces the beef with tree bark, then sticks the wrappers back together.
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
Harper's Index of Stu's Bachelor Party
Estimated intensity level of Stu's hangover this morning: 11.
Estimated number of venereal diseases contracted by the wedding party: 2.
Estimated number of times someone paid for sexual contact: 9
Chances "oops ####" happened: 22%
Estimated number of different controlled substances used by the party: 5.
Most frequent: cocaine.
Most openly used: marijuana.
Most secretly used: rohypnol.
Estimated number of cigars smoked: 22.
Chances a hooker/stripper stuck one in her v@#ina: 48%.
Chances Stu smoked it afterward: 98%.
Estimated number of times a woman put a pair of panties on Stu's head: 2.
Chances at least one pair was sopping wet: 64%.
Chances at least one pair was sopping wet with chlamydia: 34%.
Chances someone in the wedding party did lines of coke off a hooker or stripper's breasts: 78%.
Chances barnyard animals were involved in a hooker/stripper's performance: 47%
Chances a hooker/stripper quoted Melville while performing: 1.24%
Estimated number of porn flicks watched before going out: 2.
Chances one was a gag flick involving she-males: 57%
Chances a severely drunk member of the wedding party quietly wept for Stu's lost bachelorhood: 92%.
Chance the future Mrs. Stu will one day hear 100% of what happened last night: .0000001%
Estimated intensity level of Stu's hangover this morning: 11.
Estimated number of venereal diseases contracted by the wedding party: 2.
Estimated number of times someone paid for sexual contact: 9
Chances "oops ####" happened: 22%
Estimated number of different controlled substances used by the party: 5.
Most frequent: cocaine.
Most openly used: marijuana.
Most secretly used: rohypnol.
Estimated number of cigars smoked: 22.
Chances a hooker/stripper stuck one in her v@#ina: 48%.
Chances Stu smoked it afterward: 98%.
Estimated number of times a woman put a pair of panties on Stu's head: 2.
Chances at least one pair was sopping wet: 64%.
Chances at least one pair was sopping wet with chlamydia: 34%.
Chances someone in the wedding party did lines of coke off a hooker or stripper's breasts: 78%.
Chances barnyard animals were involved in a hooker/stripper's performance: 47%
Chances a hooker/stripper quoted Melville while performing: 1.24%
Estimated number of porn flicks watched before going out: 2.
Chances one was a gag flick involving she-males: 57%
Chances a severely drunk member of the wedding party quietly wept for Stu's lost bachelorhood: 92%.
Chance the future Mrs. Stu will one day hear 100% of what happened last night: .0000001%
Leeroy Jenkins
Footballguy
I felt the same. Lincoln and even End of Watch were both better IMO.
Bogart
Footballguy
I deserved this. I hang my head in shame until I can counter.
Uni> Stu is probably too hungover/AIDS-up to be awake yet, so he is going to need you to comment on the Phoenix show from Coachella. Thanks GB.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
That "eagle men" jab cut deep.
T Bell
Footballguy
Do any Pollacks live nearby? I hear they like to steal them when the weather gets hot so they can roll the window down.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Her rules only apply when she cooks or she buys, thankfully.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
I don't know how you define big, but I grab one every once in a while.
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
He got the first 2 outs, then there was an error, every run after that error is unearnedI'm still shuked here.Not if there were two outs + an error in the inning before the HR was hitI'm
It says Strassburg served up a HR, but he had 0 earned runs.
How's that possible? He had to get at least 1 ER, right?
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
I understand now. He should have been out of the inning, but an error kept him pitching. So even though he served up a HR, it's unearned.He got the first 2 outs, then there was an error, every run after that error is unearnedI'm still shuked here.Not if there were two outs + an error in the inning before the HR was hitI'm
It says Strassburg served up a HR, but he had 0 earned runs.
How's that possible? He had to get at least 1 ER, right?
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
I understand now. He should have been out of the inning, but an error kept him pitching. So even though he served up a HR, it's unearned.He got the first 2 outs, then there was an error, every run after that error is unearnedI'm still shuked here.Not if there were two outs + an error in the inning before the HR was hitI'm
It says Strassburg served up a HR, but he had 0 earned runs.
How's that possible? He had to get at least 1 ER, right?
>
B Upton struck out swinging.
J Heyward flied out to center.
J Upton safe at first on throwing error by third baseman R Zimmerman.
J Upton stole second.
E Gattis homered to left center (426 feet), J Upton scored.
D Uggla struck out swinging.
I deserved this. I hang my head in shame until I can counter.
Uni> Stu is probably too hungover/AIDS-up to be awake yet, so he is going to need you to comment on the Phoenix show from Coachella. Thanks GB.
I wish I had gone to Stu's thing but with Chicago trip next week and the spontaneous GusterDerby in a couple weeks I figured I'd be smart for once and stay away from gambling/strippers.
I actually did catch the Phoenix set on the online stream though. Not a big fan of theirs but it ####### rocked, lots of energy. Towards the end the lead singer crowd surfed pretty deep into the crowd, looked like a ton of fun. Wish I had been there. 
After hanging out with a few of Stu's "strip club buddies" I can verify that much of this is probably accurate.
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
Well every movie could be more pedophile rapey./Tbone
cosjobs
Footballguy
my vacation
After eight weeks without a day off and finally getting a new couple in place as house managers, I decide to run down to the coast with a buddy for a little r and r. It was 80 degree when when left- a beautiful day. Within an hour we caught up with a slow moving cold front. The temp dropped to 48 with rain showers. That stayed with us all the way to the coast and remained until past noon on Thur.
The whole drive down and the next day, I spent no less than five hours on the phone handholding the new managers and re-explaining every thing pertaining to everything little freaking thing in the world with every possible permutation I finally decide I need to fish at least a little bit and sooth my troubled mind.
I sit in a nice chair I carried down to the jetties with a bucket of mud minnows. I bait up and cast into the bay, with my phone in my lap to deal with the next crisis that really isn't. My hook settles into some rocks and becomes firmly snagged. I stand up to try and free it and end up breaking the line. I reel it in and attach a new hook and go to get another minnow and notice that the phone must have fallen out of my lap and was now in the minnow bucket full of salt water.
The plus side was that I would not be interrupted any more, the down side was that I needed to go buy another phone. So we just packed up and left the next morning and get home Saturday early evening.
This morning the new managers quit.
After eight weeks without a day off and finally getting a new couple in place as house managers, I decide to run down to the coast with a buddy for a little r and r. It was 80 degree when when left- a beautiful day. Within an hour we caught up with a slow moving cold front. The temp dropped to 48 with rain showers. That stayed with us all the way to the coast and remained until past noon on Thur.
The whole drive down and the next day, I spent no less than five hours on the phone handholding the new managers and re-explaining every thing pertaining to everything little freaking thing in the world with every possible permutation I finally decide I need to fish at least a little bit and sooth my troubled mind.
I sit in a nice chair I carried down to the jetties with a bucket of mud minnows. I bait up and cast into the bay, with my phone in my lap to deal with the next crisis that really isn't. My hook settles into some rocks and becomes firmly snagged. I stand up to try and free it and end up breaking the line. I reel it in and attach a new hook and go to get another minnow and notice that the phone must have fallen out of my lap and was now in the minnow bucket full of salt water.
The plus side was that I would not be interrupted any more, the down side was that I needed to go buy another phone. So we just packed up and left the next morning and get home Saturday early evening.
This morning the new managers quit.
ScottNorwood
Footballcutie
It actually worked out for you, because if you had your phone they would have continued to interrupt and still would've quit
I must be the only person who doesn't follow that pics thread. I just know Tbone as the guy with the Costanza avatar here.
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
Jeezus, that sucks. Sorry, man.
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