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GM's thread about nothing (33 Viewers)

Not a chance. These are like something from a fictional punchline thread. This is the best one so far. First four jokes had me pissing my pants.

 
Hip girl: They're playing a lot of songs about anal sex.

Hip guy: Wait, what?

Hip girl: You know, move to the back of the bus is anal sex.

Hip guy: This song is about Rosa Parks.

Hip girl: Seriously?

Hip guy: It's called Rosa Parks.

Hip girl: Well, Rosa Parks must have liked it in the ###. That's probably why she had to sit.
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020232.html/
Been telling my wife for years that "Brown Eyed Girl" is about bumsecks... "down in the hollow, playing a new game", "behind the stadium", "goin down the old mine"..

Didn't know that about Rosa Parks though.
She was a dirty, dirty girl.

 
Not a chance. These are like something from a fictional punchline thread. This is the best one so far. First four jokes had me pissing my pants.
I can see one or two compilation videos of bad jokes, but 30+? :no:

The guy thinks he's hilarious.

 
Not a chance. These are like something from a fictional punchline thread. This is the best one so far. First four jokes had me pissing my pants.
I stand by what I said.

 
Alyssa Milano shouldn't do videos for charity. There she is talking about starving kids in Africa or something and all I can really think about the whole time is how I would like to throw a little something up in her.

 
Alyssa Milano shouldn't do videos for charity. There she is talking about starving kids in Africa or something and all I can really think about the whole time is how I would like to throw a little something up in her.
Either she or AppleGate were in my thoughts most as a young lad.

 
I don't remember Rudy's BBQ being so expensive. I got some Tater salad and .80 pounds of brisket and a small bag if chips and it cost $18.
Brisket is crazy expensive and I read a few months ago that thanks to demand in China beef in general has been skyrocketing.

:lmao: I was pretty sober that last one. I've also found it also REALLY helps to have a very drunk audience.

 
No kids today/tonight.

We went to dinner.

Drank and gambled.

Drank and gambled some more.*

Came home

Profit

and it's 9:41. I feel like Tanner.

*We were playing black jack when another couple asks to sit at the table. Older but very large Italian guy with lots of hair and I'm guessing so much so, he lost his sunglasses in it. The dealer immediately says "hi Sal, how's it going tonight?". Guy is drunk and belligerent which I'm usually totally game for but I ate too much and was kind of sleepy. Then the pit boss comes over, "hey Sal!". Then they switch dealers, "Hi. Sal right?".

Sal drops a hundred and then starts yelling about the waitress taking his drink which was basically melt ice. Pit boss actually tracks the gal down and gets his almost empty glass back. Then Sal starts putting money on his wife/GF's hand. I watch one hand as he puts a $5 chip on her stack. She wins and he demands she give him $10. I know whats what but Mrs. SLB is drunk and starts to say "I saw him..." when as loud as I could under my breath say ####.

Things weren't quite as cordial after that. I got us the #### out of there.

 
Oh, and over dinner I mentioned to Mrs. SLB that Thorn said he was going to make it to Beerhole. "Oh good! I really liked him. He's a nice guy. A gentleman." she says.

Sorry Zooks.

 
Thirty pages in to doctor sleep. Best thing he's written in a long time.
I devoured it in two sittings. Currently plowing through 11/22/63 at an incredible rate...couple hundred pages left out of 850.

I forgot how much I can get lost in a good story, and Steve-O can spin one hell of a yarn. :thumbup:

 
Thirty pages in to doctor sleep. Best thing he's written in a long time.
I devoured it in two sittings. Currently plowing through 11/22/63 at an incredible rate...couple hundred pages left out of 850.

I forgot how much I can get lost in a good story, and Steve-O can spin one hell of a yarn. :thumbup:
Out of his ### and into the mouth of a midget with no arms dressed like President Bush.

 
Oh, and over dinner I mentioned to Mrs. SLB that Thorn said he was going to make it to Beerhole. "Oh good! I really liked him. He's a nice guy. A gentleman." she says.

Sorry Zooks.
:bowtie:
Mrs. SLB: He's smart. He's not like the rest of you guys just getting wasted and acting like idiots. He can't do that. He could lose his license. Like me, I could too. I would love to act really drunk and be stupid, but I can't. Like Thorn. He's smart.

Me: I can assure you that Thron gets drunk and acts like an idiot.

Mrs. SLB: He probably does it in such a way as to not get in trouble though.

Me: Blues are down 2-0 already.

 
Oh, and over dinner I mentioned to Mrs. SLB that Thorn said he was going to make it to Beerhole. "Oh good! I really liked him. He's a nice guy. A gentleman." she says.

Sorry Zooks.
:bowtie:
Mrs. SLB: He's smart. He's not like the rest of you guys just getting wasted and acting like idiots. He can't do that. He could lose his license. Like me, I could too. I would love to act really drunk and be stupid, but I can't. Like Thorn. He's smart.

Me: I can assure you that Thron gets drunk and acts like an idiot.

Mrs. SLB: He probably does it in such a way as to not get in trouble though.

Me: Blues are down 2-0 already.
She has a point. That's why I don't get wasted and act like an idiot.

Your wife should meet me.

 
Oh, and over dinner I mentioned to Mrs. SLB that Thorn said he was going to make it to Beerhole. "Oh good! I really liked him. He's a nice guy. A gentleman." she says.

Sorry Zooks.
:bowtie:
Mrs. SLB: He's smart. He's not like the rest of you guys just getting wasted and acting like idiots. He can't do that. He could lose his license. Like me, I could too. I would love to act really drunk and be stupid, but I can't. Like Thorn. He's smart.

Me: I can assure you that Thron gets drunk and acts like an idiot.

Mrs. SLB: He probably does it in such a way as to not get in trouble though.

Me: Blues are down 2-0 already.
She has a point. That's why I don't get wasted and act like an idiot.

Your wife should meet me.
Hopefully one day GB.

 
Thirty pages in to doctor sleep. Best thing he's written in a long time.
I devoured it in two sittings. Currently plowing through 11/22/63 at an incredible rate...couple hundred pages left out of 850.

I forgot how much I can get lost in a good story, and Steve-O can spin one hell of a yarn. :thumbup:
You guys read 11/22/63?
Yes. I enjoyed it.
I think it was the first thing I'd read by King in 15 years. Pretty good over all.

 
those dickmitten Blues just beat our hawks in a shootout

:kicksrock:
I suggested we go downtown and I would bring her to one of "my" restaurants then we could hit a bar for a couple of hours. Should be hopping tonight.
hey my brother is down there in STL tonight for that game. maybe you can finally see what a douchecanoe he is in real life.
Man, if somebody would have given me a heads up, we would have for sure. I would have just drove downtown and said this is what we're doing. I'm gangsta dat way.

 
What About Bob? is pure ####### genius.

ETA

It could have been called What About Joe? and it would still be the best. Bob is just a funny name though.

 
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