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GM's thread about nothing (89 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
K. Time to play NCAA 2014, down Miller Lites, and inhale Marlboros until my hands, lungs, liver and face are all just useless.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
-fish-
Footballguy
Otis
Footballguy
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
Having a beer and posting from the sh*tter. 
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
mr. furley
Footballguy
the one thing that drove me most insane about being a new parent, aside from the poop, and the puke, and no sleep and always being on edge.. it was how much people tried to sugarcoat everything. i know for the most part people are just trying to be polite and don't want to speak out of turn but.... #### that.
all that did was make my wife feel horrible.
"babies are so sweet and pretty! and they're so much fun! you're so lucky!"
no. no they aren't. some of the time they are.. they can be... but for the most part they are an unrelenting life sucking force. it's what they do. they are soaking up all your time, energy and effort because they have to. they need you. and it is exhausting. and, yes, they are amazing, beautiful, precious, a miracle, etc. until such time as they vomit in your mouth and poop on your work pants.
i freaking love kids. and i loved the baby stage. it was awesome. but it's not all dandelions and roses all the time.
you're going to have days/weeks where you're just fed up. that's totally normal. absolutely. the problems come in when people you know are telling you it's not. or when you tell yourself it's not. everything in moderation of course. if you are smothering the kid for 15 seconds at a time to see if it dies.. well... you've gone too far. but if you're thinking about it at 4 AM when you're up for the 3rd time that night... well... we've all been there.
just remember that Romo only sees the baby a few hours a night.. so, of course, he's going to be over the moon with her. that's a good thing. that's awesome. he should be. i know i was. my whole day was waiting to come home so i could see my kid(s) (and wife, yes) and finally interact with them. and every day when i came home and was excited, and the kid(s) were happy to see me.... my wife died a little more inside thinking that 1) she wasn't connected to the kid(s) like i was, 2) the kids loved me more and 3) i loved the kid(s) more than her.
5 years in she still has her moments but i think more often she would like to turn the clock back to when the kids weren't hanging off her legs every second they are together. they're like 6 month old Lab puppies around her. they can't possibly get close enough to her or get enough attention. total 180. more or less, of course.
GMTAN is awesome. lots of good dudes in here. plenty of good advice but it's still the internet. seriously, try to find a mommy group of some sort that meets offline. get away from the kid for a few hours/a day. with or without Romo. mom's have to unplug. you feel like you can't or shouldn't but that's when you most absolutely have to. try not to overburden yourself with daily chores/tasks. #### the laundry, #### cleaning the house, sleep when the baby sleeps. this is easily the most exhausting and difficult thing you will go through in life.... at least, imo. there's no let up. not for a while.
guess i'd say, keep the long view in mind. it's super easy to get caught up in the minutiae of the day to day and think it will never end. i can still remember my wife breaking down in the middle of one night when our first born was about 3 months old... it was an ugly scene. lots of crying. lots. had my mom come over the next day to take the baby so the wife could rest... before she left she dropped a good piece of advice on us that went something like "just remember that in the whole of your lifespan this is a blip on the radar. it seems never-ending now and it feels impossible but you can't ever turn back the clock. savor these days and this bonding time with your baby and keep in mind that it will get a lot better soon.... also, your husband is an incompetent boob so call me when ever you need help."
strykerpks
Footballguy
Who is this and what did you do with Mr Furley?
krista4
Footballguy
There aren't many things that would excite me more than Charles Barkley in here.
I don't know who the other two people are.
Not knowing an Oscar nominated actress is GM's shtickThere aren't many things that would excite me more than Charles Barkley in here.
I don't know who the other two people are.
mr. furley
Footballguy
Leeroy Jenkins
Footballguy
Damn furley. I just read that post to my expecting wife. Good ####.
krista4
Footballguy
Was she in disguise, perhaps as another actress, in the movie in question?Not knowing an Oscar nominated actress is GM's shtickThere aren't many things that would excite me more than Charles Barkley in here.
I don't know who the other two people are.
Maybe you were distracted by Clooney
mr. furley
Footballguy
glllllllll, buddy
those first few months are rugged. just keep the long view in mind. it's no picnic but totally worth it.
belljr
Footballguy
no schtick...i almost could understand how parents snap...i said almost.glllllllll, buddy
those first few months are rugged. just keep the long view in mind. it's no picnic but totally worth it.
krista4
Footballguy
Hmph. Just looked her up; I even saw that movie on a plane or something. Didn't know it was critically acclaimed (nominated for six Oscars); I liked it but it didn't seem award-worthy. Reading the Wikipedia page I see it was based on a book written by Walter Kirn.
Didn't know that.
Abraham
Footballguy
Her twitter feed reads like a one person gMtan.Hmph. Just looked her up; I even saw that movie on a plane or something. Didn't know it was critically acclaimed (nominated for six Oscars); I liked it but it didn't seem award-worthy. Reading the Wikipedia page I see it was based on a book written by Walter Kirn.
mr. furley
Footballguy
for sure. there were nights/days when i had to put the kid(s) down in a pack and play and just walk the eff away.no schtick...i almost could understand how parents snap...i said almost.glllllllll, buddy
those first few months are rugged. just keep the long view in mind. it's no picnic but totally worth it.
a person can only take so much screaming, crying and disagreement. especially when the person doing the screaming and crying can't be reasoned with at all. it's a totally helpless and low feeling to be that mad at a baby but... sht.. it happens.
just because they're babies doesn't mean you can't get mad at them.
i'd find myself freaking out, stressed to the max, getting really upset because the kid wouldn't stop thrashing and poop was getting everywhere (always with the poop) and have to say "ok, step back. calm down. it's just a diaper. this is a baby you're fighting with.. deep breath." and 30 seconds later the kid is changed, happy as hell and making you smile again.
it really helped me to realize that the things they are doing aren't purposeful. most of their issues are hunger, pain or sleep related. they can't say "hey, dad, my butt hurts and i have gas", nor do they know how to fix those issues on their own. so they do what they can do get you to help them. and that's cry, fight and scream until they feel better.
go down the checklist, dirty diaper? nope. when's the last time she ate? half hour ago? did she burp? when did she get up from her last nap? are there too many lights on? too much noise? is she tired of me waving my heat hooks in her face and making stupid faces at her?
sometimes you've just gotta set em down and walk away. let em cry for a while if they're full, burped and clean.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Was Furley always this gay?
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Watching The Internship (the probably terrible movie with Vince Vaughn and the less cool Wilson brother) and they've mentioned Pappy Van Winkle twice.
kevzilla
Footballguy
Frostillicus
Footballguy
I dunno.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
bentley
Footballguy
That's a lot of ####### words to say that babies/preschoolers are a beatdown, which should be painfully obvious to everyone that's ever actually parented one.
Possibly related - After spending the last two days in Lubbock, I got back into town just in time to meet Angrywife at a United Way event at an art gallery. It was pretty awesome because she had on a dress and makeup and accessories and had grownup conversations with other adults. I pretty much hung out at the bar the whole time. Oops, drunk.
Possibly related - After spending the last two days in Lubbock, I got back into town just in time to meet Angrywife at a United Way event at an art gallery. It was pretty awesome because she had on a dress and makeup and accessories and had grownup conversations with other adults. I pretty much hung out at the bar the whole time. Oops, drunk.
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belljr
Footballguy
was way better than I anticipated. .. it's cliche and typical of those guys but I didn't hate it. It was on hbo or whatever.I realized my tolerance /like of movies is a lower bar if I watch it "free" on one of the movie channels vs renting vs theater
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Dude, I don't think you've ever gone more than a minute to make a move. I sometimes think you're just sitting around all day staring at your phone waiting for me to make a move.
Guster
Footballguy
She's from where Thorn lives and her dad is a history teacherHer twitter feed reads like a one person gMtan.Hmph. Just looked her up; I even saw that movie on a plane or something. Didn't know it was critically acclaimed (nominated for six Oscars); I liked it but it didn't seem award-worthy. Reading the Wikipedia page I see it was based on a book written by Walter Kirn.
bentley
Footballguy
Hey look, it's me and Angrywife and PR chick along with most of my drunken tailgate people all in the same photo.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
bentley
Footballguy
Right in front of me. Chick off my right shoulder does roller derby and is pretty smoking hot in real life.
Henry Ford
Footballguy
Way better than Mr. Roper would have done.Some damn fine work in here.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Roper would have finished his post by looking at the camera...Way better than Mr. Roper would have done.
Henry Ford
Footballguy
By the way, anyone know what happened to the thread about the Romanian woman?
Henry Ford
Footballguy
Based on that picture he would then have asked if he could tuck in your kids.Roper would have finished his post by looking at the camera...Way better than Mr. Roper would have done.
bentley
Footballguy
Eh. My hair was not at its best today. It was windy and I'd slept on it during the flight back from Lubbock this afternoon.
bentley
Footballguy
Maybe it's only available if we're Facebook friends. Here it is on imgur.
And while we're at it, here's Angrywife and I at prom, together at some point during my Bell Biv Devoe phase, and when I was fat at a frat brother's wedding.
T Bell
Footballguy
It's a shame those purses belonging to the ladies in the front are so heavy. Why doesn't anyone offer to help carry them?
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
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