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GM's thread about nothing (22 Viewers)

BostonFred is a national treasure.

If I ever find the Playboy from the late 90's that had the pictorial tribute to "small wonders" I will fondly remember that post as I treat my body like an amusement park.
This one?
:lmao: No, jerkface! It was all petite chicks. IIRC the tallest one was 5'2". :wub:
want
Chick on the cover in a flag bikini, and a big outline behind her of the Playboy logo in red white and blue fireworks...using my powers of deductive reasoning, I'm guessing a July issue.

 
The magazines in question were playboy special editions, a phase I went through probably towards the end of college and the start of my full time travel job years. For people who don't remember, there's a bit of a history lesson that only people who lived throughthis era can appreciate. Playboy occasionally published a book of lingerie, or a tribute to blondes, brunettes and redheads, or a closer examination of girlfriends, which was a huge coup in playboys liberalization from a magazine that showed a centerfold, a cover story (e.g. girls of the SEC, or Pamela Anderson nude) and one other short spread towards the front of the magazine. The special editions were just page after page of nudes, and instead of showing solo girls in tastefully nude poses, they showed just a little more, but still with the elite talent and higher production quality of the brand name.

Still, these were fairly game magazines compared with the other mags on the rack. Penthouse showed spread lips, but no sex. Club and cheri showed penetration, but a lot of us were against that in an era where video pr0n was only available on vcr or dvd and it wasnt really an upgrade to take a picture of a beautiful woman and add a penis to it.

Playboy, on the other hand, had held steady. They didn't show lips, or if they showed a little bit, they were never spread. Genitalia were to be neatly tucked away under a stripe or triangle of neatly trimmed hair - never bare, and that was actually a published policy. The back door was often airbrushed away. And they loved to show two shots that were considered especially edgy: standing up, legs together, from behind, so you could see just a tuft of hair through the heavenly triangle formed by the upper thighs and buttocks, or knees apart, but with a wisp of cloth covering the goodest of goodies. Page after page of classy, tasteful nudes with a higher class of women, better photographers, and little quotes that showed how naughty this girl might be, like "I love my body. I walk around the house in lingerie all the time. With the right man, I even like to sleep naked". Racy, but not slutty.

Of course, this was before dvds were ubiquitous. Sure, you might have a vcr or dvd player at your house, but it was still a fairly new idea that they were available in a laptop computer. and while internet pr0n was starting to appear, the download speeds were brutally bad, leaving you with the top two inches of a nine inch photo, and watching stripe by stripe as a little more got downloaded every second. Internet video was almost nonexistent, never free, insanely large to download, and considered very likely to have viruses. So magazines were still a thing, even though the decline had begun.

Travelling for work, I would go to the airport every Monday and come home every friday. So it made sense to bring some porn along, and all those airport magazine stores existed largely to support the business traveller. It wasn't unusual to buy a new magazine on Monday, although I tried to do it in my destination city to avoid an awkward hello with any boston based friends.

Day one with a new mag, youd try to ration your jerk, looking only at the first couple pages, so you'd still have fresh porn later in the week. But it never worked. You always skipped ahead to get maximum variety or find the best girl in the magazine. By your second or third session, you'd seen it all. After a while, those magazines were usually a little played out - you could still use them, but it was nothing to look forward to. After that, you might work an old favorite back into the rotation, but you were looking for something new.

The genius of the special editions was that they'd have a five page spread of each girl, and then the next one would have a brand new spread of the same girl, but maybe the first time you saw her, it was only a couple pages and now she got a little more. Or they had four pictures of her on one page but now they had a full page of one pose. Or maybe the first time you saw her she only showed boobs but now she took offer her pants. As an avid reader, you could become a fan.

The one I re found had genevieve michelle, who might have been my all time favorite. She was a petite girl, with soft tan smooth skin, sun lightened dark brown hair and a perfect body. Her breasts were round in a way that isn't so much perky as gravity defying, eschewing the normal banana curve of a perky boob for a top that impossible rounded up and a soft undercurve that hovered over her ribs and left a shadow. Her round bottom was tanned and firm, and the tops of her thighs formed perfect heart shaped parentheses around a wisp of chestnut hair. She was perfection.

And like memories of an ex girlfriend who you will never be with again, and who isn't the same person you once grew to care for, my memories had faded, and I had long since moved on. Until I found my old stash, and at the top, a copy of girlfriends, where she went hand in hand with some other sweet young model on a nude romp through an unlikely scene. And unlike me, she hadn't changed a bit. Unlike a memory, her pictures hadn't faded. Unlike a favorite actress, she hadn't aged, or changed in any way. And as I tugged my memories out of their hiding place, I not only remembered her, but remembered being the me who had enjoyed looking at her all those years ago. It wasnt just a perfect girl, but a fleeting glimpse of my own youth, before marriage, and age, and changing diapers and stressing about my job or commute or money or child or anything else.

If you've never enjoyed a nostaljerk, I can't recommend it enough. Its a highly personalized vacation to a destination that only you wil ever truly understand.
this is a quote from America Psycho, isn't it? Director's cut or something?

 
Leeroy Jenkins said:
Ham's update is pretty devastating. I don't get what the hospital did. The progression just seems insane. Horrible.

Now it has me all ####ed up. Preggo Jenkins has had some new symptoms pop up the last week/days. She's ~36 weeks. The dr is making her come in for testing tomorrow to make sure it isn't pre-eclampsia or HELLP. Both ungood for her and baby. Hopefully its nothing. But these docs have barely spent time with her or reviewed medical records from when we moved. For example, they just told her last week that her iron level is low -- based in testing from march when we moved.
How did it go today?

 
The magazines in question were playboy special editions, a phase I went through probably towards the end of college and the start of my full time travel job years. For people who don't remember, there's a bit of a history lesson that only people who lived throughthis era can appreciate. Playboy occasionally published a book of lingerie, or a tribute to blondes, brunettes and redheads, or a closer examination of girlfriends, which was a huge coup in playboys liberalization from a magazine that showed a centerfold, a cover story (e.g. girls of the SEC, or Pamela Anderson nude) and one other short spread towards the front of the magazine. The special editions were just page after page of nudes, and instead of showing solo girls in tastefully nude poses, they showed just a little more, but still with the elite talent and higher production quality of the brand name.

Still, these were fairly game magazines compared with the other mags on the rack. Penthouse showed spread lips, but no sex. Club and cheri showed penetration, but a lot of us were against that in an era where video pr0n was only available on vcr or dvd and it wasnt really an upgrade to take a picture of a beautiful woman and add a penis to it.

Playboy, on the other hand, had held steady. They didn't show lips, or if they showed a little bit, they were never spread. Genitalia were to be neatly tucked away under a stripe or triangle of neatly trimmed hair - never bare, and that was actually a published policy. The back door was often airbrushed away. And they loved to show two shots that were considered especially edgy: standing up, legs together, from behind, so you could see just a tuft of hair through the heavenly triangle formed by the upper thighs and buttocks, or knees apart, but with a wisp of cloth covering the goodest of goodies. Page after page of classy, tasteful nudes with a higher class of women, better photographers, and little quotes that showed how naughty this girl might be, like "I love my body. I walk around the house in lingerie all the time. With the right man, I even like to sleep naked". Racy, but not slutty.

Of course, this was before dvds were ubiquitous. Sure, you might have a vcr or dvd player at your house, but it was still a fairly new idea that they were available in a laptop computer. and while internet pr0n was starting to appear, the download speeds were brutally bad, leaving you with the top two inches of a nine inch photo, and watching stripe by stripe as a little more got downloaded every second. Internet video was almost nonexistent, never free, insanely large to download, and considered very likely to have viruses. So magazines were still a thing, even though the decline had begun.

Travelling for work, I would go to the airport every Monday and come home every friday. So it made sense to bring some porn along, and all those airport magazine stores existed largely to support the business traveller. It wasn't unusual to buy a new magazine on Monday, although I tried to do it in my destination city to avoid an awkward hello with any boston based friends.

Day one with a new mag, youd try to ration your jerk, looking only at the first couple pages, so you'd still have fresh porn later in the week. But it never worked. You always skipped ahead to get maximum variety or find the best girl in the magazine. By your second or third session, you'd seen it all. After a while, those magazines were usually a little played out - you could still use them, but it was nothing to look forward to. After that, you might work an old favorite back into the rotation, but you were looking for something new.

The genius of the special editions was that they'd have a five page spread of each girl, and then the next one would have a brand new spread of the same girl, but maybe the first time you saw her, it was only a couple pages and now she got a little more. Or they had four pictures of her on one page but now they had a full page of one pose. Or maybe the first time you saw her she only showed boobs but now she took offer her pants. As an avid reader, you could become a fan.

The one I re found had genevieve michelle, who might have been my all time favorite. She was a petite girl, with soft tan smooth skin, sun lightened dark brown hair and a perfect body. Her breasts were round in a way that isn't so much perky as gravity defying, eschewing the normal banana curve of a perky boob for a top that impossible rounded up and a soft undercurve that hovered over her ribs and left a shadow. Her round bottom was tanned and firm, and the tops of her thighs formed perfect heart shaped parentheses around a wisp of chestnut hair. She was perfection.

And like memories of an ex girlfriend who you will never be with again, and who isn't the same person you once grew to care for, my memories had faded, and I had long since moved on. Until I found my old stash, and at the top, a copy of girlfriends, where she went hand in hand with some other sweet young model on a nude romp through an unlikely scene. And unlike me, she hadn't changed a bit. Unlike a memory, her pictures hadn't faded. Unlike a favorite actress, she hadn't aged, or changed in any way. And as I tugged my memories out of their hiding place, I not only remembered her, but remembered being the me who had enjoyed looking at her all those years ago. It wasnt just a perfect girl, but a fleeting glimpse of my own youth, before marriage, and age, and changing diapers and stressing about my job or commute or money or child or anything else.

If you've never enjoyed a nostaljerk, I can't recommend it enough. Its a highly personalized vacation to a destination that only you wil ever truly understand.
:dot: for when my boys get old enough. Need to let them know how good they have it. Hell, by then, there will probably be on demand 3D pron in every household.

 
fish, do you know a sitting judge that would be willing to perform my oath of attorney in open court so I can get sworn in in this here 'burg?
sure. do you need a reference or something or just a name? if you just need the easiest to navigate so you can get in and out quickly I'd go down to Kent and the regional justice center--much less busy than the main courthouse in Seattle. Judge McDermott has the easiest courtroom to deal with.

In Seattle, I'd go with Judge Eadie or Judge Lum.
Going to see Judge Lum on Friday. I emailed all three today (note that this did not warrant a phone call), and Lum's bailiff got back to me almost immediately. Think mentioning roverfish from the GMTAN was the magic ticket. :thumbup:

 
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Do any of your wives have crushes on the doctor who delivered your children? It's normal, right? Asking for a friend. :oldunsure:
My best friend from law school is married to an OB/GYN, and he delivered their babies, so I guess in that one case I hope she does.
By the way, think I've mentioned this before, but he does her annual exams, etc. and did even when they were dating but not yet married. I always found that...yucky.
True.

But your friend has to feel like she has some exceptional downstairs parts. I mean, this guy has been up in them all so he's gotta be looking for the best.

 
Do any of your wives have crushes on the doctor who delivered your children? It's normal, right? Asking for a friend. :oldunsure:
My best friend from law school is married to an OB/GYN, and he delivered their babies, so I guess in that one case I hope she does.
By the way, think I've mentioned this before, but he does her annual exams, etc. and did even when they were dating but not yet married. I always found that...yucky.
True.

But your friend has to feel like she has some exceptional downstairs parts. I mean, this guy has been up in them all so he's gotta be looking for the best.
And the award for verginer of the year goes to...

 
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My son and I are going to spend next week with Cos at Albert Oaks doing the biofeedback thing. I have talked on the boards here several times about our/and his struggles with his ADHD. It has been really tough on all of us - especially the past couple of years as he has gotten older (he is 17 going into his senior year this Fall).

This past year, he was acting up in a number of ways and picking at himself all over his body to the point of creating sores - arms, chest,stomach, and thighs. Grades down the tube, etc. But mainly we knew he was just plain unhappy for too much of the time. His high school wrestling kept him going but the grades caught up with himself and he couldn't wrestle officially for the last quarter or so of the season.

A little over a month ago, he wanted to go off the meds because he said he didn't like how they made him feel. As soon as he went off them - BAM!! He stops picking and his mood overall has improved some. He isn't morose all the time - could be just typical teen angst.

I am hoping that the biofeedback therapy could break through for him. I am looking into treatments as well for my tinnitus. Can you believe that Satan's insurance company, Aetna, covers biofeedback therapy for tinnitus??? It won't cover it for ADHD, hypertension and just about anything else but head trama - but damn happy to see if it will help the constant ringing in my ears.

We have talked a couple of times on the phone and Cos has been unbelievably gracious and I am completely psyched to meet and hang with him and the Albert Oaks family. Though I will have to be a little more subdued since I will have my 17 yr old with me that won't ####### go to bed.

Thanks in advance Cos.

 
Leeroy Jenkins said:
Ham's update is pretty devastating. I don't get what the hospital did. The progression just seems insane. Horrible.

Now it has me all ####ed up. Preggo Jenkins has had some new symptoms pop up the last week/days. She's ~36 weeks. The dr is making her come in for testing tomorrow to make sure it isn't pre-eclampsia or HELLP. Both ungood for her and baby. Hopefully its nothing. But these docs have barely spent time with her or reviewed medical records from when we moved. For example, they just told her last week that her iron level is low -- based in testing from march when we moved.
this is one time in your life when it's ok to be a maximum level ####. i was downright prickish every time we went to the doctor if i felt they weren't being informative, taking things seriously or spending enough time with my wife.

to them you're just one more patient among the many they have seen that day, week, month.. somewhere along the way some of these doctors lose track of the fact that a baby is the most important thing to ever happen to most of their patients.

be a ####. it's your kid.
I threatened to sue my ex-wife's obstetrician during the delivery. I have one brother that's a high risk OB, and another that's a neonatologist. My ex's delivery wasn't going well, went 20 hours, and there were some signs of distress. Her OB wanted to use the vacuum to pull my daughter out. I told her I'd sue her the next day if she did. We got in a huge fight about my rights as a father and my ex's uninformed consent since the OB refused to disclose the risks to her (she claimed there were no proven risks, which was either an outright lie or grossly negligent).

She ended up performing a C-Section once I had my brother tell my ex the risks over the phone, with her OB standing there dumbfounded.
this #### right here :goodposting:
Luckily today we saw the doctor who we actually like. She thinks it could be a gall bladder thing and advised cutting out all fatty foods etc. She gave her an iron supplement and we went to trader joes to stock up on chicken and spinach.

I made sure we discussed all symptoms and what went on prior to the move. We are monitoring and going back next week.

We hired a doula team, so one of them will be in delivery with us. That will be good to have informed support in there.

 
cos is good people.
:goodposting: I was just thinking the other day about how he offered me some great help when we moved back and weren't sure what to do from there.

Binky, congrats on your upcoming trip. It will be a great experience for you and your son.

 
Her breasts were round in a way that isn't so much perky as gravity defying, eschewing the normal banana curve of a perky boob for a top that impossible rounded up and a soft undercurve that hovered over her ribs and left a shadow. Her round bottom was tanned and firm, and the tops of her thighs formed perfect heart shaped parentheses around a wisp of chestnut hair. She was perfection.
I love you

 
:tebow: to Bfred & Cos. Glad everything came out okay Raiders.

I spent a week at the lake with my family and parents right after hearing about Ham's son. BB losing Chance messed me up something good and that news really put me over the edge. On the way there I was so out of sorts I didn't even notice that when we stopped to use the bathroom, I didn't fill the gas tank up. :bag:

It rained almost the entire time but I didn't care. The boys were happy to swim in the rain and luckily somebody bought an umbrella for the only table at the pool. I smiled and really did pay attention to every time they said "hey dad, watch this!".

Any other time, I would have been pissed. This weather sucked for five days. The fishing sucked. We couldn't have fun out in the boat or on an island. I was so happy to be able to spend time with my family though. It was pretty great. Mrs. SLB did manage to catch a near trophy crappie off the dock however and Dyl had a nice one too.

Thankfully it stopped raining for one day and we went to Silver Dollar City. Both of the boys are tall enough to ride everything in the park now which was pretty surreal. It was 75 degrees and you didn't have to wait more than 5 minutes to go on any ride, it was awesome. I'm not supposed to ride roller coasters until I get an MRI next week and I haven't done so for 20 years or so but I said #### it, I'm going with my boys. Cal has more courage than I ever could imagine as he wanted to ride over and over. Honestly, Wild Fire scared the #### out of me. (That video doesn't do it justice)

I even suggested that we do one of those old time photo things since we rode just about everything, twice, and Mrs. SLB has been bugging me for years to do it. I figured I should ball up, who knows when/if we could do one again.

Mrs. SLB & Cal are still camping with the Scouts. Can't wait to see them. The Cardinal's game today makes me miss her more.

 
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Well, the Cold War between my brothers wife and my wife had taken a turn for the even worse. Backstory: they came to the hospital when baby was born in early February. I've seen my brother a couple times since for a beer after work. Haven't seen his wife or my niece and nephew though, which seems off since they live 15 minutes away and we have a new baby and all. Even more strange is that his wife will text me and my wife asking if we want to go to dinner or whatever. But there has quite literally not been a single message asking about our daughter. It's so obvious as to be beyond coincidence.

Sister in law blames my wife. Wife blames sil. I'm sick of the whole thing.

Today SIL texts me and wife saying " thanks for the invite to (eldest daughter's) birthday party. We are thinking of taking a weekend trip as a family to Dallas that weekend so we may not make it."

I swear on the last pigment in GM's skin if they miss the party for that I will beat my brother in his own front yard and never speak to them again.

End. Rant.

 
Well, the Cold War between my brothers wife and my wife had taken a turn for the even worse. Backstory: they came to the hospital when baby was born in early February. I've seen my brother a couple times since for a beer after work. Haven't seen his wife or my niece and nephew though, which seems off since they live 15 minutes away and we have a new baby and all. Even more strange is that his wife will text me and my wife asking if we want to go to dinner or whatever. But there has quite literally not been a single message asking about our daughter. It's so obvious as to be beyond coincidence.

Sister in law blames my wife. Wife blames sil. I'm sick of the whole thing.

Today SIL texts me and wife saying " thanks for the invite to (eldest daughter's) birthday party. We are thinking of taking a weekend trip as a family to Dallas that weekend so we may not make it."

I swear on the last pigment in GM's skin if they miss the party for that I will beat my brother in his own front yard and never speak to them again.

End. Rant.
you gotta go to the mattresses every twenty, chirty years. it gets the bad blood out.

 
Good to have you back, GBSLB
Thanks GB, nice to be back. I just haven't felt like bringng the funny for awhile. I'm pissed at myself that I've made this place depressing for too long now. Never again. Save it.

I also got word today that BFF bought a house in my subdivision. HFS :excited:

 
Well, the Cold War between my brothers wife and my wife had taken a turn for the even worse. Backstory: they came to the hospital when baby was born in early February. I've seen my brother a couple times since for a beer after work. Haven't seen his wife or my niece and nephew though, which seems off since they live 15 minutes away and we have a new baby and all. Even more strange is that his wife will text me and my wife asking if we want to go to dinner or whatever. But there has quite literally not been a single message asking about our daughter. It's so obvious as to be beyond coincidence.

Sister in law blames my wife. Wife blames sil. I'm sick of the whole thing.

Today SIL texts me and wife saying " thanks for the invite to (eldest daughter's) birthday party. We are thinking of taking a weekend trip as a family to Dallas that weekend so we may not make it."

I swear on the last pigment in GM's skin if they miss the party for that I will beat my brother in his own front yard and never speak to them again.

End. Rant.
Sucks when stupid chick drama screws up stuff for siblings and innocent kids. I've had similar issues between my dad/stepmother and my sister.

Just be sure the beatdown doesn't cost you chirty to life.

 
Well, the Cold War between my brothers wife and my wife had taken a turn for the even worse. Backstory: they came to the hospital when baby was born in early February. I've seen my brother a couple times since for a beer after work. Haven't seen his wife or my niece and nephew though, which seems off since they live 15 minutes away and we have a new baby and all. Even more strange is that his wife will text me and my wife asking if we want to go to dinner or whatever. But there has quite literally not been a single message asking about our daughter. It's so obvious as to be beyond coincidence.

Sister in law blames my wife. Wife blames sil. I'm sick of the whole thing.

Today SIL texts me and wife saying " thanks for the invite to (eldest daughter's) birthday party. We are thinking of taking a weekend trip as a family to Dallas that weekend so we may not make it."

I swear on the last pigment in GM's skin if they miss the party for that I will beat my brother in his own front yard and never speak to them again.

End. Rant.
Families suck. I've got something similar going in here too. All that matters are those in your own little family.

 
I love having no family.......I always say, most of your family members, if they weren't your family, would never even be your friends.

 

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