How often do you hear people use the N word? (1 Viewer)

[dickey moe]

By the media, usually when discussing the offensiveness of the word? Occassionally.

In a racial joke? Rarely these days.

In my presence, as an epithet with the intent to insult/harm? Not in a long, long time.

In hip-hop/rap music performed by African-Americans? On quite a few of their songs.

 

[Steve Tasker]

Less often than once a month, but not never.  I can pinpoint two people I know who will say it.  Both are white; my black friends refuse to say it.

That said, when I went to the SEC title game back in December, I heard it a bunch of times from the two guys sitting next to me, mostly in reference to Justin Fields.  One was an Alabama fan and one was a Georgia fan, I have no idea where they were from.  They just kept casually working it into conversation for no reason, along with a bunch of other slurs.  You should've heard the Georgia fan after the fake punt failed.  It was.....not good.

 

[Phil Elliott]

Voted "never" but the only time I hear it is when it is reported on the news. 

 

[Chaka]

This is the right answer, but when you live in smaller southern towns it's not that easy.  

It's never easy but it's the right thing to do.

 

[SWC]

for me i heard it most at work from guys that dont hold degrees and hell some of them dont hold diplomas i think there is a real education line on this one brohans and it does not suprise me that a lot of you guys who do well and have high edumactions would not hear it in your circles take that to the bank brohans 

 

[Chaka]

This is the right answer, but when you live in smaller southern towns it's not that easy.  

It's never easy but it's the right thing to do.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Grew up in a small southwestern Virginia town.  Heard the N word daily.  Been in San Diego since 2002 - heard it once on the West Coast, and no coincidentally it was an old friend who was in town for a conference spewing that ignorance over beers.  When I go home for a few days, hear it daily still.    

I guess Tennessee is just that far ahead of Virginia that way. Worked in a small rural Tennessee town and never ever heard it. 

 

[roadkill1292]

Less often than once a month, but not never.  I can pinpoint two people I know who will say it.  Both are white; my black friends refuse to say it.

That said, when I went to the SEC title game back in December, I heard it a bunch of times from the two guys sitting next to me, mostly in reference to Justin Fields.  One was an Alabama fan and one was a Georgia fan, I have no idea where they were from.  They just kept casually working it into conversation for no reason, along with a bunch of other slurs.  You should've heard the Georgia fan after the fake punt failed.  It was.....not good.

I'm amazed that anyone feels remotely comfortable saying it in group settings. There are probably few quicker ways to find yourself on the outs.

 

[roadkill1292]

I guess Tennessee is just that far ahead of Virginia that way. Worked in a small rural Tennessee town and never ever heard it. 

Time matters as well as geography. I grew up in rural Maryland and heard it on a regular basis but, crap, that was before schools there were even fully integrated.

 

[Joe Bryant]

I'm amazed that anyone feels remotely comfortable saying it in group settings. There are probably few quicker ways to find yourself on the outs.

Me too. I feel like I must be living in an alternate universe than some of you guys. I'd be shocked to hear it at Tennessee Football game. And if someone did say it, I'd be shocked if the people around them didn't go off. 

 

[Joe Bryant]

Time matters as well as geography. I grew up in rural Maryland and heard it on a regular basis but, crap, that was before schools there were even fully integrated.

I worked in that town from 1990 to 2014. 

 

[Chaka]

I think They Might Be Giants perfectly outlined the response when confronted with these situations on their 1990 album Flood.

Link

 

[tommyGunZ]

I guess Tennessee is just that far ahead of Virginia that way. Worked in a small rural Tennessee town and never ever heard it. 

Perhaps.  Did you grow up there Joe, or move to Tenn as an adult?  If you moved there, the dynamic isn't quite the same.  When you're living in the small rural town you grew up in, it's hard to toss lifelong friends/family aside even when they have serious flaws.  

Again, not condoning it at all.  Just saying there are different dynamics involved that make these things harder for some than others.  Where Chaka and I live, there are little to no consequences for doing the right thing.  In other areas, standing up and doing the right thing can be very, very costly.    

 

[Joe Bryant]

Perhaps.  Did you grow up there Joe, or move to Tenn as an adult?  If you moved there, the dynamic isn't quite the same.  When you're living in the small rural town you grew up in, it's hard to toss lifelong friends/family aside even when they have serious flaws.  

Again, not condoning it at all.  Just saying there are different dynamics involved that make these things harder for some than others.  Where Chaka and I live, there are little to no consequences for doing the right thing.  In other areas, standing up and doing the right thing can be very, very costly.    

Costly exactly how?

Asking that people don't use the N word around you seems like a pretty low bar. 

 

[AhrnCityPahnder]

It's a huge insult to call someone the wrong nationality, as big as using the word this thread is discussing. 

about 20 years ago I mistakenly referred to a South Korean guy I was acquaintance / friendly with as Vietnamese.    Man.  That did not go well.   

But, lesson learned -- have been super careful about that ever since.  

 

[Steve Tasker]

Me too. I feel like I must be living in an alternate universe than some of you guys. I'd be shocked to hear it at Tennessee Football game. And if someone did say it, I'd be shocked if the people around them didn't go off. 

I don't think I was the only person there who was uncomfortable, but I was there by myself so I'm not really sure.  It was pretty surprising.  

 

[OrtonToOlsen]

about 20 years ago I mistakenly referred to a South Korean guy I was acquaintance / friendly with as Vietnamese.    Man.  That did not go well.   

But, lesson learned -- have been super careful about that ever since.  

Hank Hill: So are you Chinese or Japanese?

Kahn Souphanousinphone: I live in California last twenty year, but, ah... first come from Laos.

Hank Hill: Huh?

Kahn Souphanousinphone: Laos. We Laotian.

Bill Dauterive: The ocean? What ocean?

Kahn Souphanousinphone: We are Laotian--from Laos, stupid! It's a landlocked country in southeast Asia. It's between Vietnam and Thailand, OK? Population 4.7 million.

Hank Hill: So are you Chinese or Japanese?

 

[Zow]

Voted once per month.  I live in a very white, low-educated area and have for about ten years. I'm pretty social and have interacted in plenty of circles of people who have never lived outside the area or attended college. That said, I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've heard the n-word used directly in a derogatory fashion in person (I have probably encountered it in police reports/recordings for my job a few dozen times in a derogatory sense but I won't count that). 

However, I hear it used in an indirectly derogatory fashion about once per month and it's always in some form of the following statement: 

"Do you guys know X? He's a black guy but he's super nice and cool.  He's not like some n-word from the ghetto or something." 

I do always try to say something. If it's in a smaller setting, to explain the point, I'll ask the speaker how many black people he knows and get them to admit that all the ones they know are all cool.  Then I'll have him contrast that fact with the number of white people he doesn't like and point out how the group with the different skin color is batting 1.000.  

 

[Zow]

Perhaps.  Did you grow up there Joe, or move to Tenn as an adult?  If you moved there, the dynamic isn't quite the same.  When you're living in the small rural town you grew up in, it's hard to toss lifelong friends/family aside even when they have serious flaws.  

Again, not condoning it at all.  Just saying there are different dynamics involved that make these things harder for some than others.  Where Chaka and I live, there are little to no consequences for doing the right thing.  In other areas, standing up and doing the right thing can be very, very costly.    

My experience in this very situation has been that I just get written off as some "hippie liberal from the big city." Even though, you know, I'm not really any of those things. 

 

[tommyGunZ]

Costly exactly how?

Asking that people don't use the N word around you seems like a pretty low bar. 

In small towns, there are limited opportunities and when you are trying to feed a family of 5 on a budget, that decision becomes more difficult if confronting someone about using the N word at a poker game means you don't get their business, or you're ostracized socially.  Again, not condoning it, just pointing out the additional costs.  If I'm financially set and my ability to feed my children isn't dependent upon developing business in my community, much easier to do the right thing and confront someone.  If I'm struggling financially and piping up means I may be costing my kid food or clothing or educational enrichment, shaking your head and moving on to the next hand is an option.  

Social pressures like these suck, but they exist and go a long way to explaining why the arc of justice is long.  It's a reason (among many) that church pews are full in the rural South on Sunday mornings.  A lot of times a family's ability to eat depends on their social standing in the small community.  It sucks.  

 

[badmojo1006]

Working with the homeless and mentally ill, I hear fairly regularly. I usually tell them to watch the language, but some of them have Tourette syndrome and/or Schizophrenia and can't help it. 

It's hard not to get desensitized to it

 

[Joe Bryant]

In small towns, there are limited opportunities and when you are trying to feed a family of 5 on a budget, that decision becomes more difficult if confronting someone about using the N word at a poker game means you don't get their business, or you're ostracized socially.  Again, not condoning it, just pointing out the additional costs.  If I'm financially set and my ability to feed my children isn't dependent upon developing business in my community, much easier to do the right thing and confront someone.  If I'm struggling financially and piping up means I may be costing my kid food or clothing or educational enrichment, shaking your head and moving on to the next hand is an option.  

Social pressures like these suck, but they exist and go a long way to explaining why the arc of justice is long.  It's a reason (among many) that church pews are full in the rural South on Sunday mornings.  A lot of times a family's ability to eat depends on their social standing in the small community.  It sucks.  

That's a bummer you feel like that. I think the opposite. I think there's value in a small community. I don't think it sucks at all. What sucks is tacitly endorsing bad behavior by just going along. I've been in lots of small communities. I know for a fact this kind of awfulness isn't everywhere in them. Yeah, maybe it means you opt out of the poker game with the racist. Oh well. That's a pretty small price to pay. I know small southern communities are easy targets. But I think this issue is way more about the person finding his right people in those communities. They are 100% there. 

 

[Van Dyman]

for me i heard it most at work from guys that dont hold degrees and hell some of them dont hold diplomas i think there is a real education line on this one brohans and it does not suprise me that a lot of you guys who do well and have high edumactions would not hear it in your circles take that to the bank brohans 

Maybe, though I'm not as sure that it is a product of the education itself. Simply getting out of your hometown/state/region and being an on-campus equal to different types of people from different places...that may be more influential on a young adult than the education itself, imo.

 

[Henry Ford]

Every few months.  Not sure how to answer since it's "once a month" or "never"

 

[Henry Ford]

for me i heard it most at work from guys that dont hold degrees and hell some of them dont hold diplomas i think there is a real education line on this one brohans and it does not suprise me that a lot of you guys who do well and have high edumactions would not hear it in your circles take that to the bank brohans 

Half the people I hear it from have a JD.

 

[Henry Ford]

Costly exactly how?

Asking that people don't use the N word around you seems like a pretty low bar. 

However backing that up with refusing to be around them when they use it anyway isn't always.

Small towns, you rock the boat that can be very tough on you if you care about your neighbors, business relationships, etc.  Thankfully, I don't.  But I know people who have privately supported my position who don't say anything in the moment.

 

[roadkill1292]

I wonder how many people I know who would like to say it but don't because of feared repercussions from me and/or others. Are there like trial ballons they float first in conversations before feeling comfortable enough to drop the n-bomb?

 

[tommyGunZ]

That's a bummer you feel like that. I think the opposite. I think there's value in a small community. I don't think it sucks at all. What sucks is tacitly endorsing bad behavior by just going along. I've been in lots of small communities. I know for a fact this kind of awfulness isn't everywhere in them. Yeah, maybe it means you opt out of the poker game with the racist. Oh well. That's a pretty small price to pay. I know small southern communities are easy targets. But I think this issue is way more about the person finding his right people in those communities. They are 100% there. 

I'm not articulating my thoughts very well - I too LOVE small communities and feel there is a ton of value in local bonds.  I'm saying that some of the social pressures that exist in small rural communities create a dynamic that makes confronting ignorance a more consequential decision than simply "doing the right thing".  

 

[Van Dyman]

Perhaps.  Did you grow up there Joe, or move to Tenn as an adult?  If you moved there, the dynamic isn't quite the same.  When you're living in the small rural town you grew up in, it's hard to toss lifelong friends/family aside even when they have serious flaws.  

Again, not condoning it at all.  Just saying there are different dynamics involved that make these things harder for some than others.  Where Chaka and I live, there are little to no consequences for doing the right thing.  In other areas, standing up and doing the right thing can be very, very costly.    

I was about to ask the same. The story I related earlier was from northwestern TN at the border with southwestern VA. I find @Joe Bryant's statement "I guess Tennessee is just that far ahead of Virginia that way" to be a little far-fetched. Maybe people are more discreet about it and watch what they say around outsiders.

 

[Zow]

Half the people I hear it from have a JD.

What the...

 

[Henry Ford]

What the...

Look up "Ashton O'Dwyer" some time.

 

[northern exposure]

It doesn't make it right, but 'Canadian' in the restaurant industry is universal.

Canadian is code for black people?

 

[ShamrockPride]

I never implied it wasn’t.  I was saying Asians hating on other Asians. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard Chinese people call Japanese people ghosts and Japanese people making fun of the round faces of Chinese people. 

It's a huge thing in Hispanic culture too. My best friend is a 2nd-gen Dominican-American, and he tells me about all the rivalries between different countries and all the smack talk. It's apparently very contentious down there.

 

[top dog]

Voted never because that was the closest to reality.  Used to hear it a lot growing up in the early 80's.  My father was very racist before I was born and has gotten progressively much better through the years.  In the 60s he left the house because my oldest sister had invited a black girl to her birthday party... One of my best friends in high school was of color.  I think that started to turn my old man around.  Over time he dropped racist stuff less and less... I dated a girl who was 1/2 black, 1/2 mexican and teased my dad that he was going to have some mixed grand babies.  A few years later when I met my  the woman who would one day become my wife, I had a child from a previous relationship and she had a child from a previous relationship.  My step-son's father was mixed race.  I believe that also softened him up.  

Fast forward to 2 years ago.  My father is 82 years old now and has been giving my oldest son a ride home from high school.  Along with his best friend who is black.  He's telling me how he gave another kid a ride home that was friends with my son but kicked the kid out halfway home for making racist comments to the black friend.

Me: You threw someone out of your car for racist comments?

Dad:  Hell yeah!  I'm not going to tolerate that type of behavior in my car!

Me: Was it you?  who drove?

Dad:  Very funny.  I told him "You know what?  If you are going to talk like that, go ahead and walk from here and don't bother getting in my car again."

Me: Who are you and what did you do with my pops???

I guess the point of the story is that I have heard less and less of that type of talk as time has gone on even from the people you least expect to change.  

 

[top dog]

Canadian is code for black people?

I have heard that before and "Mondays"... People try to be clever with code crap....

 

[SWC]

for me i heard it most at work from guys that dont hold degrees and hell some of them dont hold diplomas i think there is a real education line on this one brohans and it does not suprise me that a lot of you guys who do well and have high edumactions would not hear it in your circles take that to the bank brohans 

Maybe, though I'm not as sure that it is a product of the education itself. Simply getting out of your hometown/state/region and being an on-campus equal to different types of people from different places...that may be more influential on a young adult than the education itself, imo.

well i agree with that but honestly the more edumacation you have the more likely are you to in fact get out and see the world and become worldly and get the exposure you discuss so i still think the two are linked take that to the bank bromigo

 

[SWC]

for me i heard it most at work from guys that dont hold degrees and hell some of them dont hold diplomas i think there is a real education line on this one brohans and it does not suprise me that a lot of you guys who do well and have high edumactions would not hear it in your circles take that to the bank brohans 

Half the people I hear it from have a JD.

hankman i am not disagreeing with you but trust me on this i have lived with one foot in a real blue collar world and done my time on that side of the fence and then i have some buddies and connection to the world i think most of the folks here live in and believe you me i have never and i mean never heard racist crap like i did from a few guys that worked in a tool shop with me i mean just small minded guys dumb as a pail of nails who had never been anywhere and who were never going anywhere who saw any difference as a wall that needed to be attacked really sad and scary and even when i hear people in the white collar world make some alusion that is racist that is all it is an alusion that they will never come out and just say but the guys in the shop brohan there was no holding back ever and the n word was second only to the f word take that to the bank brohans 

 

[Tick]

Only in online gaming chat.  I downvote/report everyone who does it.

 

[DallasDMac]

Half the people I hear it from have a JD.

Well yea, John Deere owners tend to be rural, so it makes sense.

 

[Kafka]

Time matters as well as geography. I grew up in rural Maryland and heard it on a regular basis but, crap, that was before schools there were even fully integrated.

Before electricity, no?

 

[jonessed]

Canadian is code for black people?

I worked in restaurants for six years and never heard it.  It’s definitely not universal.

 

[Ketamine Dreams]

Also, are we talking the N word with a hard r or an a?  big difference 

Some NSFW language: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7JhY7176qJs

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ns-kXeQCMk

 

[jhib]

Ever? In our entire life? In that case there is no need for a poll because everyone has heard it or used it.

I can't think of one time I have heard it (and know I've never used it) in real life, in person, used in a derogatory manner.  The only time I've experienced the -a version is in friendship and the -er version in discussion about the word itself.

Of course, my memory of childhood sucks, so it's a possibility.  But I'm still answering never.

 

[Chaka]

I can't think of one time I have heard it (and know I've never used it) in real life, in person, used in a derogatory manner.  The only time I've experienced the -a version is in friendship and the -er version in discussion about the word itself.

Of course, my memory of childhood sucks, so it's a possibility.  But I'm still answering never.

Fair enough. You just make sure you steer clear of that no good Eddie Haskell.

 

[bucksoh]

Only when I goto see a comic and he's black.  Some reason they think it is acceptable and funny!

 

[jhib]

Fair enough. You just make sure you steer clear of that no good Eddie Haskell.

See, now I feel like you're making fun of me.

 

[Chaka]

See, now I feel like you're making fun of me.

Honestly, I kinda wish I was you.

 

[Judge Smails]

Unfortunately I have a few real close friends who still say this from time to time.  Completely ignorant and I give them an earful when they do say it.  That doesn't fly with me. 

 

[Doctor Detroit]

I hear "*******" and AOC and that Muslim Congresswoman should be burned. 

Fun times with Trumpers.

 

[IC FBGCav]

I wonder how many people I know who would like to say it but don't because of feared repercussions from me and/or others. Are there like trial ballons they float first in conversations before feeling comfortable enough to drop the n-bomb?

I was in Carolina Beach, NFL Sunday at the Lazy Pirates bar (think I posted this before).  Most the 1pm games were at half, went outside on the deck with my wife, the weather was nice.  I was talking with her and we were approached by a person in Skins gear.

He was talking about RG3 and said something like that N can't play anymore.  I can't say I was shocked but taken aback as I don't know this guy.  It was weird.  Just turned to my wife and put my back to him.