Oops, sorry. :whoosh:I was kidding.Yeah, have your kid do your dirty work for you.Now THAT makes sense.
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Is it ever ok to use a belt to discipline your child? (5 Viewers)
- Thread starter gianmarco
- Start date
Wingnut
Footballguy
I never got "beat", I got spanked. I didnt fear my parents, had a good upbringing, never wanted for anything, and have no bad childhood memories.But I was "abused" because I was spanked a few times? Riiiight.
Try around 7:20:
SlaX
Footballguy
Let me throw this question out there. Say I was a person who was raised being spanked as my way of being disciplined. My entire family was raised that way. My mother, my father, their parents and so on. We're a generation of spankers. Say I married someone that's been raised the same way. However, we want to raise our kids without using spanking.
What are some alternative forms of discipline that you can suggest to someone who has never seen another alternative?
What are some alternative forms of discipline that you can suggest to someone who has never seen another alternative?
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Time Out. All kids who experience time out turn out to be upstanding members of society.
cstu
Footballguy
I'm not judging, but this thread explains a lot about you Christo.
How so?
Billy Bats
Footballguy
Just hit 'em with a GOOD JOB!!!! GOOD EFFORT!!!! That'll learn them good.
belljr
Footballguy
I was a pretty good kid, one night I thought it would be funny to lock my dad in the garage while he was working, I was 9 or so....
Yeah that was not cool
wifes friend has a 16 year old, I want to beat, they are"hippyish", kids talks to them and everyone like a #######.
I'm on board with dentist, society people need more beatings
Yeah that was not cool
wifes friend has a 16 year old, I want to beat, they are"hippyish", kids talks to them and everyone like a #######.
I'm on board with dentist, society people need more beatings
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BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Todd Andrews
Footballguy
I have girls so no belt, but if they were boys they would get the belt.
And my wife gets to smell the glove.
And my wife gets to smell the glove.
optionmaven
Footballguy
Its not your fault wing. Its not your fault.
parasaurolophus
Footballguy
Always love the it doesnt hurt and it is just the act claims. Your kids are laughing at you if it doesnt hurt. If you hurt them, then you are abusing them.
The argument that "I got spanked, I'm okay, so it's okay" is literally one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. You can do tons of things that shouldn't be done in life and not face serious consequences, that doesn't mean you just keep doing them. Excessive speeding, unprotected sex, drug use, whatever.
I'm not going to get all on a high horse and declare that everyone who spanks their kids are bad parents. I just don't understand the logic behind it at all. I don't want my kids to fear me, and I don't ever want to inflict bodily harm upon them. Spanking them just feels like lazy parenting to me. It feels like you didn't spend enough time trying to figure out how to actually get through to your child, so you just hurt them. And that's before we get into the fact that it definitely could actually cause some kind of emotional trauma. I don't think it's likely, and I'm not saying it's a major part of the argument against it, but I just understand why opening yourself up to any situation like that knowingly is a good idea.
I'm not going to get all on a high horse and declare that everyone who spanks their kids are bad parents. I just don't understand the logic behind it at all. I don't want my kids to fear me, and I don't ever want to inflict bodily harm upon them. Spanking them just feels like lazy parenting to me. It feels like you didn't spend enough time trying to figure out how to actually get through to your child, so you just hurt them. And that's before we get into the fact that it definitely could actually cause some kind of emotional trauma. I don't think it's likely, and I'm not saying it's a major part of the argument against it, but I just understand why opening yourself up to any situation like that knowingly is a good idea.
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jonessed
Footballguy
Nonsense. I'm sure your life would have been much improved if a bunch of strangers stripped you of your father and threw him in jail.
Miss the point much?
Then what is the point? I'm seriously not being snarky or anything. Spell it out for me.
Some pantywaist made the argument that you shouldn't hit your children because it damages them psychologically. Several of us pointed out that it isn't true. So the argument is bunk. It has nothing to do with "not facing serious consequences." Whatever the hell that means.
Wingnut
Footballguy
Nonsense. I'm sure your life would have been much improved if a bunch of strangers stripped you of your father and threw him in jail.
Maybe best not to judge something you don't understand, eh?
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You don't think it has the potential to damage a child psychologically? I'm not saying it does a lot, but it definitely has the potential to.I didn't miss the point at all. My point was that just because something happened to you, and the worst case scenario didn't occur, doesn't mean it won't happen to anyone else.
KarmaPolice
Footballguy
Look, there is no black and white in here. Just because somebody gets spanked once doesn't mean they are abused. Your hippie friends probably don't discipline at all, and have a dooshy kid. What I am saying is that all it takes is for your kids to know what is expected of them and know something they don't like will happen if they don't live up to that. To people defending the spanking and the belt because they turned out fine - I would bet a lot of that is because you lived in a house that had discipline. The spanking had nothing to do with the equation - it was all about you knowing you crossed a line and something was coming to you. I just believe that hitting has no positives. As somebody else stated - I would rather have had a wack across the ### then have my Nintendo or bike taken away. I think all kids have a trigger that you can take away from them for punishment. There is zero point in resorting to hands, belts, etc.. IMO if you do it as a reaction you have problems because you can't control your emotions, and I think it's even worse to have the advance thinking to go get something or take something off to strike your kid with. You have time to think about it, and it's still a good idea to you. Have some self control and act like you would dealing with any other human. I just don't get why you would treat your child any different than you would anybody else you have a relationship with. Long story short - nobody is saying that you shouldn't have discipline, what people in here are saying (or at least I am) is that getting physical shouldn't be needed to get your point across to your child.
This doesn't even make sense. I'm not saying I'm too stupid to understand, or lack the ability to understand. Why can't I judge something that I can't relate to? I don't want to kill people, but I'm pretty sure I can judge people want to.
BustedKnuckles
Footballguy
Fear and intimidation is a great way to instill respect...just ask people in the mafia
What worst case scenario?
So you DO understand the logic but reject it? Or you don't understand it? Cause you said the latter.
I suppose better wording would have been "I can't relate". I understand that parents are trying to discipline their children, I don't understand why they would think that intimidation of physical harm is the way to do it. This seems like an insanely nitty tangent to go on, no?
It seems he doesn't say what he means. I bet his kids are confused as hell. But at least he doesn't hit them.
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KarmaPolice
Footballguy
This I don't get at all, is spanking effective or isn't it? Why does it matter if it is a boy or a girl? So whatever your threshold is - you have a boy and a girl doing exactly the same thing wrong that crosses that threshold. The boy gets spanked and the girl gets sent to her room or her Barbies taken away?
If you'd expressed yourself accurately the first time we wouldn't have had a tangent, no?
RBM
Footballguy
Yes.
glumpy
breeze
I voted 'no, never'. 
If I'm ever that mad to lay into someone there wouldn't be time for a belt. And I sure don't want it to be one of mine.
I don't remember the times I've hit somebody but other than once some folks have told me. Hasn't been often--and hasn't been in a long while.
eta--I have used a butt slap while the kids are in diapers--the noise is real effective then.
If I'm ever that mad to lay into someone there wouldn't be time for a belt. And I sure don't want it to be one of mine.
I don't remember the times I've hit somebody but other than once some folks have told me. Hasn't been often--and hasn't been in a long while.
eta--I have used a butt slap while the kids are in diapers--the noise is real effective then.
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mad sweeney
Footballguy
Belt, plastic hanger, wooden spoon, hard plastic batter spatula with holes in it (great for airspeed). All acceptable in my book. We got that as children (I'm 40 now and my youngest sib is 35). None of us thought for a single second that we were being abused. Sitting with our noses in a corner wouldn't have done ####. Half the time they did it, my parents cried more than we did. It was never excessive or arbitrary and eventually just the threat of it was enough to scare us straight when we wandered. Granted, I think we had more open minded (not in a liberal/hippie way) parents who let us be ourselves, but not once in my entire life did I ever feel like I was abused and/or living in a co-dependent situation where fear ruled the nest. It was quite clear when corporeal punishment was used that it was a big deal. If I ever have kids, that's how I'll govern them as well.
Wingnut
Footballguy
Some women like to be spanked
Native
Footballguy
I'll never forget the sense of dread I felt when my father whipped his belt out and its something I never want my kids to feel. Its completely unnecessary and I would never do it no matter what my kids did. Im a bit surprised (well, maybe not) that so many on this forum would approve of such behavior.
gianmarco
Footballguy
Before that other thread and this one, I would have never guessed that 50% of people here are good with using a belt for discipline of kids.
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KarmaPolice
Footballguy
As I stated - I just don't get this. Why is it different for your daughter?
KarmaPolice
Footballguy
Exactly. I am shocked that I am in the minority on this matter.
mad sweeney
Footballguy
I haven't read through the whole thread but I'd be interested in seeing how many people (like myself) that had it happen to them as a child but, being childless, approve of it. Like I said, I have zero problems with it.
Dentist
***Official FBG Dentist***
i agree, you should deliver your beatings in a controlled manner where you are not yelling or cursing, just calmly explaining that this is what you did wrong, and this is the punishment, sorry bro... if you can't do the time, don't do the crime.
KarmaPolice
Footballguy
I guess I am just creeped out by the people that can just calmly explain this to their kid and then give them the smacks too. I have almost spanked my kid on the fly because I was pissed - I do get the feeling to a point. I could never send him to his room, come in with the belt 5 mins later and deliver his 'punishment'. Maybe I just have a naturally mild child, but IMO all it takes is for the parents to say "stop doing this or X will happen", and then FOLLOW THROUGH with that. X does not have to be a spank, belt, slap is my argument. I have drawn the line in the sand with my son and he knows if I say something, it will happen. The teachers at preschool say that we have one of the best behaved kids they have seen, and I haven't to resort to being physical in 5 1/2 years.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
How many and how old?
Charlie Frown
Footballguy
##### hits me first she's going down.
Wrigley
Footballguy
My Grandfather used to make us go out and pick a switch off a bush in the front yard.
It wasn't so much the physical pain, as my Grandfather would never "abuse" us. It had more to do with the process of trying to figure out which branch would hurt less.
From that point on, all he had to do was talk about the bush and we knew to cool it.
It wasn't so much the physical pain, as my Grandfather would never "abuse" us. It had more to do with the process of trying to figure out which branch would hurt less.
From that point on, all he had to do was talk about the bush and we knew to cool it.
mr roboto
Footballguy
We 'spank'. By that, a swat on the butt. Not multiple hits or over the knee. Not with an instrument. Enough to get their attention and sting momentarily.
Occasionally it's a slap on the hand. Again, one swat.
With our daughters, they have always known it could be a spanking/slap on the hand, a time out, something taken away, or loss of a privilege.
We use spanking/slap on hand for very serious offenses, dangerous things, very willful and repeated disobedience.
Time outs are usually used to remove them from a situation they can't act appropriately in.
Loss of privileges or especially effective when their actions have resulted in the loss of someone else's freedom/property etc (like stealing a toy, intentionally breaking something etc).
I said no to the belt. I think using an instrument changes it. I don't know why.
Occasionally it's a slap on the hand. Again, one swat.
With our daughters, they have always known it could be a spanking/slap on the hand, a time out, something taken away, or loss of a privilege.
We use spanking/slap on hand for very serious offenses, dangerous things, very willful and repeated disobedience.
Time outs are usually used to remove them from a situation they can't act appropriately in.
Loss of privileges or especially effective when their actions have resulted in the loss of someone else's freedom/property etc (like stealing a toy, intentionally breaking something etc).
I said no to the belt. I think using an instrument changes it. I don't know why.
Charlie Frown
Footballguy
I don't even have a problem introducing corporal punishment as punishment for crimes like DUI, shoplifting, etc.
Wrigley
Footballguy
Obviously time-outs aren't working.
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