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fixed.
2.5 years...I haven't made it 2.5 hours and that includes in my sleep. She implemented a new rule requiring venting in bed since she had to spend buco bucks getting the foul smell out of her expensive down comfortable. Heck, I'll let 'em rip in crowded places and then walk off leaving her.
Beans, broccoli, ice cream, whatever works.
WHAT?
It's only six weeks into the year.WHAT?
\/\/o\/\/i've already farted in front my girlfriend 33 times this week. she laughs every time. well, almost every time.
If you aren't farting once an hour for each waking hour, you should probably see a doctorIt's only six weeks into the year.WHAT?
I believe 14 times a day is normal for the average healthy adult. You may want to see a doctor.
Link?
She's probably squeaked about 5 in front of me. Usually a slip when laughing or picking something up.Not me though. Pitching a no hitter!
you are probably making her feel like a pig!at least if she had held it, this could be some sort of gas passing face off, who can hold out the longest. Now every time she farts she probably feels like crap.Just walk up and say hi, start discussing your day, and blow your boxers off. I guarantee you'll feel like a new man, and probably get the best sex you've ever had.Maybe even in the butt (pitching or receiving, who can tell)
you are probably making her feel like a pig!at least if she had held it, this could be some sort of gas passing face off, who can hold out the longest. Now every time she farts she probably feels like crap.
Just walk up and say hi, start discussing your day, and blow your boxers off. I guarantee you'll feel like a new man, and probably get the best sex you've ever had.
Maybe even in the butt (pitchingor receiving,
I hate to say it, but I don't think your relationship is going to last. She knows that you fart because EVERYONE farts. She farts. You've been together for 2.5 years and been living together for 2 years. This whole time she's never heard you fart, yet she knows full well that you are farting. Women over-analyze everything, so she probably views your fart-hiding as an act of deception by you. If you would lie and hide your farts, what else must you be hiding? The trust is broken. It's only a matter of time before dumps (no pun intended) your non-farting ###. If you like this girl and you want this relationship to last, then you race to her right now look into her eyes and ask her to pull your finger. You'll thank me later.Now let's just say I'm wrong about my "fart-hiding deception theory". Your relationship is still going to be flushed away. Think about it. She doesn't hear or smell your farts for over 2 years and she hasn't said anything about it. She's ambilvalent towards your lack of farting which means she's ambivalent toward you. That's right. She's just hanging around waiting for someone better to come along. Again, she KNOWS that you must fart and yet she hasn't heard a single pfftt come out of you for over 2 years. I can't believe she hasn't asked you about it. If she really cared about you, she'd be worried that you have some medical issue that is causing this abnormal behavior you've been displaying. Yet she doesn't say anything. She's silent about the issue. Silent but deadly, my friend. It brings me no pleasure to point all of this out to you. And I know you don't want to hear it, but trust me, you NEED to hear it. Good luck.
I sleep in my farts.
Your excitement baffles me. This isn't something to be proud of, it's the equivalent of giving up 25 straight home runs to little league girls.
Let me explain myself. I used to blast my last girl. Then she used to blast back (usually SBD's). Then she started eating a lot of broccoli. VILE! I was absolutely repulsed by her.I will NOT repeat that mistake. I may be making a new mistake, but won't be repeating the old one.
My buddy did something like this... He farted in a tupperware container and stored it in his closet for a few days.Then one day he told a someone tha his mom had baked the best cookies and told his buddy to take a whiff of the container...
I heard it smelled so nasty and stale... 
http://www.heptune.com/farts.htmlYour at risk for hemmoroids and possibly pathological distention of the bowel.
