Just how badly will you botch Mother's Day this year? (2 Viewers)

[Dan Lambskin]

I made a sausage and peppers quiche this morning 

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I made a sausage and peppers quiche this morning 

Euphemism?

 

[El Floppo]

When my parents were here, my mom, wife, and daughter went to a local place, and my wife hasn't quit raving about the vegetable quiche since.

So, I jumped on their website and pulled up their menu. 2 quiches. 1 I knew she wouldn't eat and a vegetable quiche (parenthetically broccoli/cheddar). OK. Cool. 

So my wife went for her morning bike ride. I got up and threw together a broccoli/cheddar quiche. I was almost done with it when she walked in.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to make the quiche you had at that restaurant."

"I didn't have the broccoli quiche. Your mom did. They had a roasted vegetable quiche that wasn't on their menu."

I had made reservations for an outdoor jazz brunch at a friend of mines spot.

Wife made other reservations that she preferred...I cancelled my reservation.

I got back from my run this am and started making her a breakfast to serve in bed. She wanders out to the smells of it before I finished- why are you making breakfast, were going to brunch (4+ hours later). I cancel the breakfast.

Winning today- impossible

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Euphemism?

Nope

 

[BassNBrew]

It was a dozen or so years ago, but I bought two magnolia trees from Costco after I moved to NC and stuff those into my Explorer. Probably about the same height but had the huge pots, two to three feet wide. It was tight with the back seats down so I couldn’t imagine one in an Accord without it looking like it’s laid back ready for a drive by. Those two magnolias are gigantic now, taller than my house and it’s got a third floor. I love Costco.

Hmmm...subtle my house is bigger than yours there.

 

[stbugs]

Hmmm...subtle my house is bigger than yours there.

Lol. 3rd floors are pretty common around here especially if you don’t have a basement. We had a basement in my last house pre-NC so we wanted a 3rd floor for the kids. Been nice. Smaller than a basement but it doesn’t feel like a basement, which is good.

 

[BassNBrew]

Lol. 3rd floors are pretty common around here especially if you don’t have a basement. We had a basement in my last house pre-NC so we wanted a 3rd floor for the kids. Been nice. Smaller than a basement but it doesn’t feel like a basement, which is good.

I have four. 

 

[Jaysus]

The best part is that I have another chance to screw up her birthday next week. 

 

[AAABatteries]

The best part is that I have another chance to screw up her birthday next week. 

“If you think you hated that, just wait until next week.”*
 

*normally I reserve that quote for post sex but works well here too 

 

[Jaysus]

The best part is that I have another chance to screw up her birthday next week. 

My 8 year old son picked out a necklace: my wife hated it and she made it clear. He also had a very cool heart and flowers drawing that he was super proud of and wanted to include with her gift.  Turns out she helped him draw it, and told him that it was not a gift.  Her morning was ruined.  Knot hole.

We went to brunch at her favorite cafe, the bottomless mimosas were changed to "big bottom" mimosas dude to covid or something, they are now served in a fancy pitcher. I commented how the big bottom was perfect for her (because she usually gets impatient waiting for refills) and my son said "Yeah, because you have a big bottom".  Brunch was ruined.  Knot hole.

After we got home from brunch I decided to walk her dog for her (because the big bottom mimosa worked) and that little turd pretty much immediately knocked over the potted flowers my daughter picked out for my wife - the pot broke, and soil was everywhere.  Her afternoon was ruined.  Knot hole.

I really did not see her much after that  

ETA: Good times. 

 

[Zegras11]

My 8 year old son picked out a necklace: my wife hated it and she made it clear. He also had a very cool heart and flowers drawing that he was super proud of and wanted to include with her gift.  Turns out she helped him draw it, and told him that it was not a gift.  Her morning was ruined.  Knot hole.

We went to brunch at her favorite cafe, the bottomless mimosas were changed to "big bottom" mimosas dude to covid or something, they are now served in a fancy pitcher. I commented how the big bottom was perfect for her (because she usually gets impatient waiting for refills) and my son said "Yeah, because you have a big bottom".  Brunch was ruined.  Knot hole.

After we got home from brunch I decided to walk her dog for her (because the big bottom mimosa worked) and that little turd pretty much immediately knocked over the potted flowers my daughter picked out for my wife - the pot broke, and soil was everywhere.  Her afternoon was ruined.  Knot hole.

I really did not see her much after that  

ETA: Good times. 

After story one,  karma had a good day.  How do you say that to an 8 year old.  

 

[mr. furley]

last year wife wanted a nice brunch. she was thrilled with the restaurant, the food, the weather, her clothes, the kids, everything. this year she wanted a nice brunch again. she doesn't like new/different things. familiarity is key. if she can re-create last year down to the nanosecond, it would make her 90% happy.

so we're there for a while and she starts telling me a story about how when i buy her a gift and she really, really likes it, i buy her nearly the same thing on the next birthday/holiday/anniversary.

i remind her that she's extremely, extremely, picky and does not hesitate to tell me if she doesn't like something i bought for her. she won't wear/use/display things i have bought for her if she doesn't like them. period. full stop.

so i am more or less cornered in to either not doing/buying anything... or risking doing/buying something she hates and having her be mad.

but if i get her something close to what she already has.. she gets mad.

her response:  "yeah, that's right."

so i ask if she's mad that we went to the same brunch spot this year like we had the year prior.. even thought she specifically, very specifically, requested it.  and she said "yeah, a little... i mean.... yeah."

 

 

[AAABatteries]

You people have weird wives.  

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Almost went flawlessly yesterday, but then I decided to share some unflattering pics of my wife that everyone laughed at (backstory:  I take random pics of her when she isn’t playing attention.  Yawning, eating pizza, sleeping, things like that)

 

[Mookie]

For the mother of my children, I washed the windows, didn't play golf, went on a bike ride, and cooked dinner.

For my mother, I called her, listened to her rave about all of these new plants she bought with my sister, and told her I loved her.  

 

[The Gator]

Nailed it. 

Carrot cake pancakes, fresh orange juice from our trees with a couple blood oranges for colour with some rosemary into a pitcher and of course vodka. 

At 10am

Was a good day

 

[rockaction]

My 8 year old son picked out a necklace: my wife hated it and she made it clear. He also had a very cool heart and flowers drawing that he was super proud of and wanted to include with her gift.  Turns out she helped him draw it, and told him that it was not a gift.  Her morning was ruined.  Knot hole.

Something is very wrong with this. No judgment of you, but that's awful.

 

[facook]

My 8 year old son picked out a necklace: my wife hated it and she made it clear. He also had a very cool heart and flowers drawing that he was super proud of and wanted to include with her gift.  Turns out she helped him draw it, and told him that it was not a gift.  Her morning was ruined.  Knot hole.

We went to brunch at her favorite cafe, the bottomless mimosas were changed to "big bottom" mimosas dude to covid or something, they are now served in a fancy pitcher. I commented how the big bottom was perfect for her (because she usually gets impatient waiting for refills) and my son said "Yeah, because you have a big bottom".  Brunch was ruined.  Knot hole.

After we got home from brunch I decided to walk her dog for her (because the big bottom mimosa worked) and that little turd pretty much immediately knocked over the potted flowers my daughter picked out for my wife - the pot broke, and soil was everywhere.  Her afternoon was ruined.  Knot hole.

I really did not see her much after that  

ETA: Good times. 

Sounds like his morning was worse.

 

[parasaurolophus]

Gave my wife a card. 

But most importantly I was the greatest husband ever. We are moving cross country and i have bit my tongue and just wrapped up everything. Do we need 4 glass pitchers? Would it be logical to get rid of at least one of our 4 sets of dishes? Do we need two sets of crate and barrel mixing bowls that cant go in the dishwasher so we always use the pyrex set instead? Do we need two sets of vera wang collins glasses? 

I didnt ask any of these questions. I just bubble wrapped away.

My wife and I were both married before and we have incredibly similar tastes, thats how we ended up with all of this stuff. It is actually insane how much stuff we have two of the exact same thing of. But its also insane she cant part ways with like any of it. 

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

My 8 year old son picked out a necklace: my wife hated it and she made it clear. He also had a very cool heart and flowers drawing that he was super proud of and wanted to include with her gift.  Turns out she helped him draw it, and told him that it was not a gift.  Her morning was ruined.  Knot hole.

We went to brunch at her favorite cafe, the bottomless mimosas were changed to "big bottom" mimosas dude to covid or something, they are now served in a fancy pitcher. I commented how the big bottom was perfect for her (because she usually gets impatient waiting for refills) and my son said "Yeah, because you have a big bottom".  Brunch was ruined.  Knot hole.

After we got home from brunch I decided to walk her dog for her (because the big bottom mimosa worked) and that little turd pretty much immediately knocked over the potted flowers my daughter picked out for my wife - the pot broke, and soil was everywhere.  Her afternoon was ruined.  Knot hole.

I really did not see her much after that  

ETA: Good times. 

I’m so sorry dude. That sounds toxic. I’ve been in a relationship like that and it will crush your soul. Get to counseling immediately.