What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

My girlfriend is close friends with her ex-boyfriend (1 Viewer)

rockaction said:
Buckfast 1 said:
I am generally really happy with the relationship overall. She's one of my favorite people that I've ever met in my life. We make a great couple and live an amazing life together.

The only real downside to the relationship is that I have hardly had any truly single time since my divorce from my ex. That issue has always kind of been in the back of my head throughout our relationship, but I kind of feel like I would probably just go out and be single for awhile and then realize that I preferred being with my current girlfriend. I actually recently discussed my desire to be single with my girlfriend, and she handled it pretty well saying that we could perhaps have a threesome sometime or have an Andrei Kirilenko-type arrangement where I could have sex with one other girl per year. I'm not sure how realistic those scenarios are, but it was a pretty cool response nonetheless.
Click to expand...
As, Comfortably Numb said, lol. Uhh…you are such a millennial.

Regardless of that, guys on from divorce quickly. My brother married immediately. My cousin married immediately. Older women comment on it. For some reason, once a man has been married, marriage is always in the offing, and is beneficial. I wouldn't worry about being single if this is what you want.

On the other hand, I really can't relate to a monogamous relationship being peppered with offers of threesomes and potential hall pass cards. Just not my thing.
Click to expand...
Don't knock it til you try it. Of course always make sure it's FFM.

 
I know that her ex-boyfriend's 40th birthday is coming up in a week or so. I think she is planning on doing something with him for his birthday. For those of you that have suggested that I hang out with my girlfriend in his presence, I guess that could be a potential opportunity. But I really don't want to start acting like I am friends with him because that will just make him even more ingrained in our lives, which is not what I want long-term.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
fantasycurse42 said:
Idiot Boxer said:
comfortably numb said:
dparker713 said:
Seems like most people in the FFA have never had a female friend.
Click to expand...
Not one that I banged for 6 years, no.
Click to expand...
I'd be less worried about the guy she banged for six years and decided he wasn't the one than the new guy in the office with whom she's spending extra time after work...not that I'd really worry about either.
Click to expand...
Good lucking hetero male befriended your wife and they're spending a lot of time together wouldn't bother you?
Click to expand...
nope. I'm pretty confident that I'm better looking, smarter and more financially secure than that guy. If she wants to take a shot at him, I can find a younger model to replace her. Marriage detant.
 
Buckfast 1 said:
Idiot Boxer said:
Also, another question...

Subtracting out your concerns about her and the ex...

Are you getting everything out of the relationship that you need? Sexually, emotionally, intellectually?

If you're confident she's not having sex with him, and you are getting everything you need from the relationship - then what does it matter if she's at the dog park with him or doing pilates during the time you're apart?

Now, if you're not getting something you need from the relationship...that's a different story.
Click to expand...
I am generally really happy with the relationship overall. She's one of my favorite people that I've ever met in my life. We make a great couple and live an amazing life together.

The only real downside to the relationship is that I have hardly had any truly single time since my divorce from my ex. That issue has always kind of been in the back of my head throughout our relationship, but I kind of feel like I would probably just go out and be single for awhile and then realize that I preferred being with my current girlfriend. I actually recently discussed my desire to be single with my girlfriend, and she handled it pretty well saying that we could perhaps have a threesome sometime or have an Andrei Kirilenko-type arrangement where I could have sex with one other girl per year. I'm not sure how realistic those scenarios are, but it was a pretty cool response nonetheless.
Click to expand...
THIS GIRL IS A BASTION OF REASONABLENESS!!!!!11111

 
Buckfast 1 said:
I know that her ex-boyfriend's 40th birthday is coming up in a week or so. I think she is planning on doing something with him for his birthday. For those of you that have suggested that I hang out with my girlfriend in his presence, I guess that could be a potential opportunity. But I really don't want to start acting like I am friends with him because that will just make him even more ingrained in our lives, which is not what I want long-term.
Click to expand...
Can't wait til friday.

Gf wants her ex to be godfather to our child. What's the FFA say?

Then NCC can weigh in and say he had a gangbang with with his wife's wedding party for their 20th wedding anniversary

 
The ex definitely still wants to bang her/be with her. The good news is he sounds like a low value guy so your girl is probably not getting the tingles from him. She is however getting comfort from her ongoing relationship with him. If you only care about the sex then you don't need to worry about a thing. If you want to have a relationship with her she needs to stop communicating with and hanging out with the ex. As long as he is satisfying her emotional needs her attachment with you will not develop to where it should be in a healthy romantic relationship.

What kind of dog are we talking about?

Do not ask to see her texts.

If you want the relationship to develop with her you need to lay down the law about her interactions with the ex.

Forty year old Buckfast would probably tell you to downgrade this girl to f buddy status and take advantage of the threesome opportunity while it is on the table.

Sharing custody of a dog is a major red flag.

This is the best thread in a long time here, keep us updated. I wish I hadn't blown my daily likes, there is a lot of knowledge and comedy in this thread.

 
Buckfast 1 said:
I know that her ex-boyfriend's 40th birthday is coming up in a week or so. I think she is planning on doing something with him for his birthday. For those of you that have suggested that I hang out with my girlfriend in his presence, I guess that could be a potential opportunity. But I really don't want to start acting like I am friends with him because that will just make him even more ingrained in our lives, which is not what I want long-term.
Click to expand...
You should tell her all this hanging out isn't doing this guy any favors either. Let him move on.

 
comfortably numb said:
Buckfast 1 said:
I know that her ex-boyfriend's 40th birthday is coming up in a week or so. I think she is planning on doing something with him for his birthday. For those of you that have suggested that I hang out with my girlfriend in his presence, I guess that could be a potential opportunity. But I really don't want to start acting like I am friends with him because that will just make him even more ingrained in our lives, which is not what I want long-term.
Click to expand...
Can't wait til friday.

Gf wants her ex to be godfather to our child. What's the FFA say?

Then NCC can weigh in and say he had a gangbang with with his wife's wedding party for their 20th wedding anniversary
Click to expand...
No a gang bang would have been redundant as I had relations previously with both women who were in the party.

 
Buckfast 1 said:
I know that her ex-boyfriend's 40th birthday is coming up in a week or so. I think she is planning on doing something with him for his birthday. For those of you that have suggested that I hang out with my girlfriend in his presence, I guess that could be a potential opportunity. But I really don't want to start acting like I am friends with him because that will just make him even more ingrained in our lives, which is not what I want long-term.
Click to expand...
There is no way in hell I would go out with them. I'm not telling you to do one thing or another, just that how you feel isn't weird or unusual. I would say that you'll begin to feel like a chump if you go against your own feelings just to keep her. And then the relationship might be headed for trouble anyway. Set a boundary and let the chips fall IMO.

 
Just texted my former work wife to let her know I got the tablet I found working. Still not banging.

And now I have a lunch date for Friday. Thinking we'll probably try out Smashburger this week.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Someone get Hulk in here. He is currently cucked by his wife. Maybe he can give you some tips on how to be a good cuck Buckfast. Better cuck next time.

 
My wife introduced me to a "friend" when we were dating. From what I was told, they were very close friends in college, but they never dated, or at least never had sex. The guy totally wanted to sleep with her, but my wife told me that she didn't see him like that. At any rate, they were friends, and remained friends after college.

Fast forward to when my wife and I were dating, this guy was in from out of town and wanted to come over to visit. He was married, and his wife had a 15 year old kid from a previous marriage. I, much like Buckfast, was trying to be supportive and very cool about the whole thing. If this guy was truly friends with my wife, then why should I get in the way of that friendship.

Guy came over. I was friendly. Wanted to get to know him better, asked him many questions about him and his life. Met his wife and stepkid. But I did not get the same in return. This guy was not concerned with me in the least. Didn't ask me anything about myself. I just got a funny feeling about the whole thing. Not a good vibe at all.

My wife kept in communication with this guy for a few years, via email, facebook, what have you. But it made me increasingly uneasy. I just don't think it's appropriate for a man to have a close relationship with another man's wife. I expressed these feelings with my wife.

I cannot remember if there was a specific incident, but at some point my wife agreed with me that this guy was still interested in her. And at that point, we agreed that she would send him birthday greetings, or congratulations for milestone event things. But that is about it. In my opinion, it's just not healthy for a married person to have a close intimate relationship with a person of the opposite sex (hetero of course). I haven't heard about the guy in some time.

Only thing I can do is trust my wife.

 
Tom Skerritt said:
My wife introduced me to a "friend" when we were dating. From what I was told, they were very close friends in college, but they never dated, or at least never had sex. The guy totally wanted to sleep with her, but my wife told me that she didn't see him like that. At any rate, they were friends, and remained friends after college.

Fast forward to when my wife and I were dating, this guy was in from out of town and wanted to come over to visit. He was married, and his wife had a 15 year old kid from a previous marriage. I, much like Buckfast, was trying to be supportive and very cool about the whole thing. If this guy was truly friends with my wife, then why should I get in the way of that friendship.

Guy came over. I was friendly. Wanted to get to know him better, asked him many questions about him and his life. Met his wife and stepkid. But I did not get the same in return. This guy was not concerned with me in the least. Didn't ask me anything about myself. I just got a funny feeling about the whole thing. Not a good vibe at all.

My wife kept in communication with this guy for a few years, via email, facebook, what have you. But it made me increasingly uneasy. I just don't think it's appropriate for a man to have a close relationship with another man's wife. I expressed these feelings with my wife.

I cannot remember if there was a specific incident, but at some point my wife agreed with me that this guy was still interested in her. And at that point, we agreed that she would send him birthday greetings, or congratulations for milestone event things. But that is about it. In my opinion, it's just not healthy for a married person to have a close intimate relationship with a person of the opposite sex (hetero of course). I haven't heard about the guy in some time.

Only thing I can do is trust my wife.
Click to expand...
I agree with every word you wrote in this.

There is simply NO WAY I would be cool with my wife being close with an ex or even a some dude that used to be interested in her. But your overall point of being close friends with someone of the opposite sex is even truer. To much room for error and the second your relationship hits a bump and you've just given them, or yourself, an excuse.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
I've been on all sides of this equation. I've been in a lot of relationships. I haven't read much but skimmed since the first post, but a few things I'm certain about:

- They still have feelings for each other. No relationship breaks up and becomes just pals. None. One or both of them still have feelings. I'm suspecting both, they sound way too close

- I'm 95% certain they hook up.

- If your relationship stands any chance in the future, she needs to stop seeing him.

- You've already set such bad precedent here that even if she agrees to try to stop seeing him, she won't. Or worse yet she'll use the dog as an excuse. But there is no legitimate excuse for her to continue spending so much time with her ex.

This is doomed. GL

 
Otis said:
I've been on all sides of this equation. I've been in a lot of relationships. I haven't read much but skimmed since the first post, but a few things I'm certain about:

- They still have feelings for each other. No relationship breaks up and becomes just pals. None. One or both of them still have feelings. I'm suspecting both, they sound way too close

- I'm 95% certain they hook up.

- If your relationship stands any chance in the future, she needs to stop seeing him.

- You've already set such bad precedent here that even if she agrees to try to stop seeing him, she won't. Or worse yet she'll use the dog as an excuse. But there is no legitimate excuse for her to continue spending so much time with her ex.

This is doomed. GL
Click to expand...
:lmao:
 
chauncey said:
The ex definitely still wants to bang her/be with her. The good news is he sounds like a low value guy so your girl is probably not getting the tingles from him. She is however getting comfort from her ongoing relationship with him. If you only care about the sex then you don't need to worry about a thing. If you want to have a relationship with her she needs to stop communicating with and hanging out with the ex. As long as he is satisfying her emotional needs her attachment with you will not develop to where it should be in a healthy romantic relationship.

What kind of dog are we talking about?

Do not ask to see her texts.

If you want the relationship to develop with her you need to lay down the law about her interactions with the ex.

Forty year old Buckfast would probably tell you to downgrade this girl to f buddy status and take advantage of the threesome opportunity while it is on the table.

Sharing custody of a dog is a major red flag.

This is the best thread in a long time here, keep us updated. I wish I hadn't blown my daily likes, there is a lot of knowledge and comedy in this thread.
Click to expand...
I think you have a lot of good insight in this post. I think the first paragraph most accurately describes what is going on. I really don't view the ex-boyfriend as a legitimate threat, nor I am concerned that they are having sex, but I do think that he still serves as emotional support for her to some degree. And I think an ex-boyfriend acting as close emotional support can interfere with the development of our own relationship.

Her dog is an 8-year old 35-pound mutt that is prone to barking at strangers.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
The dog thing is just dumb. I love the crap out of our dog but would happily give her up if she was interfering with a relationship. There are so many great puppies up for adoption. If this girl really cares about you and your feelings and keeping you around, she doesn't have a difficult decision to make.

 
I thought this scientific study about how relationships with exes affect your current relationship was interesting.

‘Ex’ starts the rot in new relationships, study finds

Don’t want your sweetheart staying chummy with an ex? You now have science on your side.

A new Canadian study reports that ex appeal is far more relevant than researchers previously assumed, with former flames affecting new romances in ways that, at best, prevent them from flourishing and at worse, damage their very foundation. Furthermore, the effects work both ways, with warm thoughts of an ex predicting decreased relationship quality, and decreased relationship quality predicting warm thoughts of an ex.

“The great thing about this research is that it’s so intuitive,” said lead author Stephanie Spielmann, a doctoral candidate in psychology at the University of Toronto.

“We’re showing that current relationships and past relationships are much more intertwined than research considers them; people generally understand that they’re related, but (science) has largely ignored that aspect.”

The study was conducted in three waves over six months, with 123 men and women reporting at each phase their current relationship quality, emotional attachment to ex-partners, and perceived quality of relationship alternatives. Participants ranged in age from 18 to 56, and were primarily from Canada and the U.S.

In those relationships that declined over time, increased longing for an ex-partner was significant — and it was above and beyond general yearning for a change of partner. In other words, as a person’s current romance became less satisfying, desire turned more strongly to lovers from the past.

“It was more than just looking for someone other than their current partner. There seemed to be something unique about an ex,” says Spielmann. “People can actually draw on feelings for ex-partners when they need to feel validated.”

In addition, increased longing for an ex predicted declines in a person’s current relationship quality, but only when the ex was their most recent previous partner. Spielmann explains this is likely because a recent ex is seen as a viable alternative, whereas a more distant ex is not.

The study notes nostalgia may also play a role, with romanticizing the past acting as a way of self-soothing in times of emotional threat.

“This has implications for people getting into new relationships very quickly after a breakup,” says Spielmann. “Your ex-partner can creep into your new relationship, and people should be mindful of that.”

The study, just released online, will appear in a future print edition of the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.
Click to expand...
http://www.canada.com/life/relationships/starts+relationships+study+finds/6726504/story.html

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Even if my girlfriend was trustworthy, I don't think I'd like her spending a lot of time with a dude who is basically angling to rekindle their relationship.

 
SeveredHorseHeads said:
Even if my girlfriend was trustworthy, I don't think I'd like her spending a lot of time with a dude who is basically angling to rekindle their relationship.
Click to expand...
Yeah.

You think Mr. Clean really just likes having lunch with her and misses Scruffy?

Nah, he's trying to get back into her panties. If you're cool with that then more power to ya.

 
McGarnicle said:
I was just discussing this thread with my wife and mentioned guys don't invest that kind of kind of time with a girl unless they want sex and she said she hopes that isn't true. Women are so cute.
Click to expand...
Can I take your wife out for some coffee?

 
McGarnicle said:
I was just discussing this thread with my wife and mentioned guys don't invest that kind of kind of time with a girl unless they want sex and she said she hopes that isn't true. Women are so cute.
Click to expand...
Does she wanna go halves on a dog with me

 
Last edited by a moderator:
So the majority here says to either break up with her or not let her continue seeing the ex if you two will continue....

Sounds like you are caving and not listening to us.

 
Bucky86 said:
McGarnicle said:
I was just discussing this thread with my wife and mentioned guys don't invest that kind of kind of time with a girl unless they want sex and she said she hopes that isn't true. Women are so cute.
Click to expand...
Can I take your wife out for some coffee?
Click to expand...
comfortably numb said:
McGarnicle said:
I was just discussing this thread with my wife and mentioned guys don't invest that kind of kind of time with a girl unless they want sex and she said she hopes that isn't true. Women are so cute.
Click to expand...
Does she wanna go halves on a dog with me
Click to expand...
:rolleyes:
 
McGarnicle said:
Bucky86 said:
McGarnicle said:
I was just discussing this thread with my wife and mentioned guys don't invest that kind of kind of time with a girl unless they want sex and she said she hopes that isn't true. Women are so cute.
Click to expand...
Can I take your wife out for some coffee?
Click to expand...
comfortably numb said:
McGarnicle said:
I was just discussing this thread with my wife and mentioned guys don't invest that kind of kind of time with a girl unless they want sex and she said she hopes that isn't true. Women are so cute.
Click to expand...
Does she wanna go halves on a dog with me
Click to expand...
:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
So you're cool with it?

 
In all seriousness, what's with all you guys and your ex-gf's and shared canine custody? Joint custody with visitation rights for dogs?

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Ask her:

If your Ex and the dog were both drowning...which one would you save?

Her answer will tell you everything you need to know.
Click to expand...
:lmao:

I am definitely going to ask her this and report back.

 
jonessed said:
gianmarco said:
In all seriousness, what's with all you guys and your ex-gf's and shared canine custody? Joint custody with visitation rights for dogs?
Click to expand...
Do they split the costs or does one party have to pay pet support?
Click to expand...
Only until the dog is 2 yrs and 4 months (that's 18 in dog years). Of course those are the dogs that bark non stop due to emotional distress and family dysfunction and drive the neighbors nuts. And from all that pent up anger, those neighbors do things like pulling into the right lane because there's only 1 car in the left and keep other drivers from turning right. Those other drivers have so much pent up anger from those guys that they get an argument with a police officer that pulls them over and they end up getting shot. And, of course, some guy here that eats almonds and tuna for lunch decides to start a thread about that and we're full circle again.

Welcome to the FFA.

 
Buckfast 1 said:
Mr. Pickles said:
It's the ongoing joint cell phone plan that really gets you in trouble.
Click to expand...
:lmao: She paid for her ex-boyfriend's cell phone plan for over a year after they broke up. Oh god, am I dating Woz?!? He repaid her by cleaning her bathrooms every month. While I got some slight enjoyment knowing that her ex was scrubbing my fecal matter from the inside the toilet bowl, I eventually told her that arrangment needed to stop, so she eventually cut him off of her plan.
Click to expand...
Is this still happening? If so, before the next time he comes over:1. buy a box of tampons and ketchup

2. toss a few tampons in the toilet with half the ketchup bottle

3. ??

4. Profit

 
gianmarco said:
In all seriousness, what's with all you guys and your ex-gf's and shared canine custody? Joint custody with visitation rights for dogs?
Click to expand...
I've known some couples to try this. It always ends once both parties are really ready to move on and the party that knows they are really the one true owner just says #### it, "I'm taking my dog".

Shared custody makes completes sense until you realize this is stupid and you can't really move eon sharing custody of a ####### dog.

Buckfast, 6 months in still doing this? It's time to bolt.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

rockaction
So I Was Exchanging, Uh, Telephone Lines With Juju Smith-Schuster This Morning
Replies
12
Views
707
rockaction
rockaction
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Elderly dog - anybody give their pets CBD?
Replies
24
Views
478
belljr
belljr
CletiusMaximus
Setting up a new Windows Laptop for my Daughter
Replies
2
Views
180
Osaurus
Osaurus

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top