shadyridr
Footballguy
Yeah I'd definitely say there is no chance he is on the spectrum. But I won't rule out learning disability or ADHD. Will talk to his doctor.
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My son got a ####### 8 on a test and forged my signature (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter shadyridr
- Start date
El Floppo
Footballguy
I know people who are somehow ashamed to even get their kid tested. as if it's some kind of mark against them or their kid. I always looked at as an opportunity to help my kid succeed and improve. like braces, or piano lessons, playing baseball, or whatever- just something else to help them along the way. plus, the earlier kids get started on this stuff the better.
Scoresman
Footballguy
How into his video games is he? Looking back to my childhood, my grades and interest in school took a significant turn the day I got an NES for Christmas. After that, school was just something I did outside of playing video games. Then came the SNES, and the PS1, and then the PC, and now, school work is pretty much just something I do outside of video games and doing my wife.
Henry Ford
Footballguy
Was it a multiple choice test? This just seems like he was cheating off a neighbor and started copying on the wrong line.
shadyridr
Footballguy
Obsessed with his ipad and fortnite. He's not allowed to play fortnite on weeknights. Ipad hes allowed only after all homework and studying is done.
Tom Skerritt
Footballguy
Discovered that my son was ADHD when he was in the 1st grade. He would constantly get reprimanded for distracting others, not paying attention, etc. The public school system, and particularly at these young primary ages, schools are not set up for teaching children like this. The expectations are that children sit in their seats, don't move, and be quiet. ADHD brains do not work under these conditions, and therefore their schoolwork and behavior suffer for it. His teacher at the time asked me if we had ever had him evaluated. Hadn't even considered it until that point.
I sat my son down and tried to talk to him. I asked him to sit there and be still. And he physically could not sit still. His arms and hands were moving all over the place. I asked him again to sit still. He just couldn't do it. It was in that moment that I realized that he had no control. It was a pivotal moment for me as a parent. Changed the way I raised him from that moment on.
shadyridr
Footballguy
He has not problems sitting still but when talking to him about something he is not interested in or teaching him something you can tell his eyes start glazing over and he stops paying attention.
Cowboysfan8
Footballguy
Could be a good call 
Hawks64
Footballguy
The teachers didn't pick up on it with my son until we got a report from the teacher saying he's very disruptive and is doing very poorly in everything. We asked the school about learning disabilities or something else and they said talk to your doctor. It was eye opening how little they wanted to open that door. We wound up getting him tested for all sorts of things, wound up being diagnosed with a visual tracking issue that was corrected coupled with a reading disability. Based on that we were able to get the school to put him in the special ed program and he got an IEP. Made a tremendous difference for him and us.
Kraft...
Footballguy
Been there, school will give you nothing, not even information half the time. I think teachers think they will get in trouble if they suggest special Ed due to budget constraints etc. We had to do a lot of pulling for information and you definitely need a doctors diagnosis re ADHD. The medical diagnosis was a big part in getting other testing kicked off. Ultimately medication was the game changer for our daughter, she excelled once we figured out what medication worked best for her. That was a tough step to take for us but the results proved out. We also tried alternatives to medication for a while but nothing worked. Every kid is different so you may have to try a bunch of stuff to see what works best for them.
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
I live in Texas. The lovely folks in Austin had an unspoken rule that schools could only have so many kids in the special needs programs. Kids who really needed help just got kicked to the curb. You might have seen the lawsuits in the news. Our lovely Governor just posted another text on this stuff yesterday. Just charming.
It does cost money to put kids in these programs. It's possible that teachers are told not to look too closely for those who need help, even if it's just tutoring.
Rhythmdoctor
Footballguy
@shadyridr - has your son always had a difficult time with school or is this something relatively new?
Bossman
Footballguy
Wouldn't it be almost impossible to get an 8% on a test if you did the homework for that class?
I have a feeling he didn't even try. I would get a look at the test,
I have a feeling the boy was playing with his phone during the test and turned it in with not many answers.
Lack of effort is the issue. Boy needs some motivation. Too many electronic distractions and such.
I'd take away the internet and buy him some books that he would enjoy. Harry Potter or something. Time to reel this kid back in before it's too late.
75% grades now will likely be failing grades in HS ... and college is completely off the table.
I have a feeling he didn't even try. I would get a look at the test,
I have a feeling the boy was playing with his phone during the test and turned it in with not many answers.
Lack of effort is the issue. Boy needs some motivation. Too many electronic distractions and such.
I'd take away the internet and buy him some books that he would enjoy. Harry Potter or something. Time to reel this kid back in before it's too late.
75% grades now will likely be failing grades in HS ... and college is completely off the table.
shadyridr
Footballguy
shadyridr
Footballguy
He doesn't have a phone. Harry Potter is way too advanced for his level right now. He is currently reading Goosebumps books.
El Floppo
Footballguy
Peak
Footballguy
Had a similar situation with my son and one of his teachers over his grades. When we approached her we got the "You were on my list to call today" line. Teacher was full of it and made no effort to contact us following that meeting, even though we asked her to keep us informed on his progress. When the end of the semester came around and his grade was still low because he hadn't been working on an "in-school project", I told her that he would stay after-school everyday for a week to finish it and I would pick him up. She replied with, "I had offered that to him, but he said he couldn't do that. Glad to hear it worked out."
Don't get me wrong, this lack of effort definitely falls on my son, however I am still upset that this was going on and the teacher made no efforts to contact us about it. I get that she had other students, but this one was failing her class - how many students are failing her class that she wouldn't make it a priority to reach out to the parents? Even after we spoke with her and she agreed to maintain weekly contact, she failed to do any followup. We checked class calendars online, nothing there. We checked school newsletters/updates, nothing there. We knew nothing of an "in-school project", and my son wasn't going to say anything about it to us. The teacher just simply didn't communicate. She was as bad as my son, in that regard. Frustrating.
Ilov80s
Footballguy
Not sure how that should work at lower levels. In HS, we definitely do not check homework but give kids the answer and expect they check their own or we do quizzes for understanding where we either check together as a class or use Google Forms which automatically checks it for the kids and gives them instant feedback.
Rhythmdoctor
Footballguy
And before that?
I’m asking because I was a straight A student until about 4th grade when I started getting Cs. Nobody (parents or teachers) were alarmed by the change in trend and of course I was too young to understand “why” I suddenly didn’t care about school. It wasn’t until my mid 30s when I realized it was the sexual abuse from my babysitter that caused my change in behavior. I’m not saying that is happening to your son but as someone who has lived through that trauma I would suggest SOMETHING is going on with your son. I hope whatever “it” is, you find the root cause and address it ASAP. My heart goes out to you and your son and I hope it’s nothing that serious. Best of luck.
shadyridr
Footballguy
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Learning disability could be a real thing here. I was A student in elementary school but jr high and up was hard. I couldn't problem solve well. My dad basically wound up doing my math and science homework which happened to be half your grade. So that was an A. Even in university I it was like that way back when. My dad would keep me up as a kid trying to get the metric system in my head for example and he'd wind up doing it for me and I'd be crying myself to sleep. Tutoring helped a little. I also memorized how problems were solved and so I could manage to get partial credit. In the 70s there was no such thought of such disabilities. You are lazy, not paying attention, etc and my dad with his short fuse made life more miserable.
I wasn't diagnosed until I graduated from OT school. If only my parents would have thought maybe my problem solving struggles wasn't my being tuned out. Maybe I wouldn't have had an isolated life if I knew I'm not the only one and it's real with all the groundings and belts I got.
Check him out. You need to be sure. All the punishment and talks in the world won't make a difference if he's got learning issues that may be showing up more as subjects in school get harder as you go further along in school. And get him out of that teacher's classroom. Being mean is not helping him either.
I wasn't diagnosed until I graduated from OT school. If only my parents would have thought maybe my problem solving struggles wasn't my being tuned out. Maybe I wouldn't have had an isolated life if I knew I'm not the only one and it's real with all the groundings and belts I got.
Check him out. You need to be sure. All the punishment and talks in the world won't make a difference if he's got learning issues that may be showing up more as subjects in school get harder as you go further along in school. And get him out of that teacher's classroom. Being mean is not helping him either.
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
I hope these responses are intended to be funny, but I'm not sure where the humor is here.
Bossman
Footballguy
Reading is so critical for school. Reading comprehension is key.
Both my kids were reading Harry Potter at 9 but they had a solid foundation in reading up to that point.
when they were toddlers, we would turn off all electronics 1/2 hour before bedtime and let them pick a book. Hungry Caterpillar or something.
I would read it to them. As they got a bit older I pointed to the words that I was reading. Sometimes quiz them as we go.
Eventually they were reading the words to me. Then bigger books on their own. Fun / interesting adventure books.
With Harry Potter we would have to ask our oldest to shut the book and go to sleep "it's past your bedtime". He would always ask if he could read "just one more chapter".
Both my kids found school easy finishing #7 and #6 in their HS graduating class. I really give credit to the reading.
Not sure how to implement this with a 9 year old ... but maybe read with him for the first several chapters and get him interested.
Key is making them WANT to read but it won't be the first choice if the ipad, ps3, and tv are options.
Fortnight is a virus and it may be to late to cure. Kids are obsessed with either playing or watching other people play.
Both my kids were reading Harry Potter at 9 but they had a solid foundation in reading up to that point.
when they were toddlers, we would turn off all electronics 1/2 hour before bedtime and let them pick a book. Hungry Caterpillar or something.
I would read it to them. As they got a bit older I pointed to the words that I was reading. Sometimes quiz them as we go.
Eventually they were reading the words to me. Then bigger books on their own. Fun / interesting adventure books.
With Harry Potter we would have to ask our oldest to shut the book and go to sleep "it's past your bedtime". He would always ask if he could read "just one more chapter".
Both my kids found school easy finishing #7 and #6 in their HS graduating class. I really give credit to the reading.
Not sure how to implement this with a 9 year old ... but maybe read with him for the first several chapters and get him interested.
Key is making them WANT to read but it won't be the first choice if the ipad, ps3, and tv are options.
Fortnight is a virus and it may be to late to cure. Kids are obsessed with either playing or watching other people play.
shadyridr
Footballguy
My son as always HATED reading. I never liked reading either. Last time I read a book was in college. He reads half hour every day for homework.
Bossman
Footballguy
I was the same way. I read well but I don't read for pleasure. To the point I barely passed HS and college wasn't even a thought.
He HATES reading because he'd rather be on his ipad or playing Fortnight.
imo, something needs to change or it is going to get worse not better. Electronic stimuli is not going away. Soon he'll have a phone and all hope will be lost.
This will take effort on you and your wifes part. You don't get to put him in a room with a book and leave to go watch the Voice or a hockey game.
I would start by finding a book that is interesting to all of you and take turns reading out loud to each other. !/2 hour, 45 mins, or an hour a night.
Perfect wind-down opportunity just before bedtime. I'm just spit balling here though. good luck.
Ilov80s
Footballguy
Maybe she is wondering the same about you? Just saying you can see all his grades online, right?
Ilov80s
Footballguy
That is tough and is circular. Kids don’t like reading and their skills fall behind, this makes them like reading even less because it becomes more difficult and so on. The only way to improve at reading is a lot of intensive reading- including strategies like pretending analysis, active reading and post reading analysis. All of this is work and most kids will fight it like the devil. They just want to get their reading done so they can play video games. The best way to sell it is as opportunities to improve and not as required tasks. It is essential to get buy-in.
shadyridr
Footballguy
Ilov80s
Footballguy
Oh yeah, I don’t mean it as an insult to you as a parent. Life is busy for everyone. Just saying that teachers hopefully put time to grade everything and make it available online promptly so parents can follow kids grades in real time at whatever schedule is convenient for the parent. As a teacher, that is communicating with the parents. I often include comments too, like: student should see me to retake test, student had been sleeping in class recently, make-up dates, etc.
Ilov80s
Footballguy
I will say some teachers I work with suck about posting grades- things get posted weeks after they were due or 15 assignments all get posted at one time causing a grade to swing wildly. If that is the case, I would have a word with the teacher and then administration.
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shadyridr
Footballguy
The site they use was actually unavailable for a month during this time but I don't check as often as i should. It's because he brings his exams home for signature "usually"
Ilov80s
Footballguy
Short Corner
Footballguy
I think I would be trouble more by the fact that he felt he couldn't talk to me about it. I don't want my son to think there's a problem so big that he can't come to me.
shadyridr
Footballguy
Of course I'm troubled by that. Been beating myself up about it since like is it my fault? Did I put too much pressure on him? Am I not supportive enough? This parenting stuff ain't easy.
Short Corner
Footballguy
Yeah, one of my greatest fears is alienating my own child. Life starts and ends with him.
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
shadyridr
Footballguy
Thanks but there are a lot of incorrect assumptions in this post. I won't correct every one because I know you mean well but the kid truly hates reading. We don't just let him do whatever he wants. There are restrictions on electronics during the week. I don't leave him alone when he reads. I sit with him. He's my only child and my entire focus. He was punished from all electronics this weekend and he was complaining he was bored. I suggested reading with him. He said no that's boring. So even when he has literally NOTHING else to do he doesn't want to read. I guess I can force him to read this weekend but I doubt that will make it more fun for him.Bossman said:
Also, I googled that hating to read could be a sign of a learning disability so we will definitely talk to his doctor about getting him evaluated. His reading tutor is a 4th grade special ed teacher. She comes tomorrow so we will talk to her about this.
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
I would definitely get him checked. I HATED gym. I have no depth perception. When you suck at something no matter what you do, you tend to really dislike it. (I was co-ordinated enough to do ballet, where depth perception is much less important.)
Kraft...
Footballguy
My youngest daughter hated reading too, we tried graphic novels and now she reads all the time. Give graphic novels a try, our initial thought was as long as she is reading something it's a good thing. Graphic novels, and comics even, are pretty damn good literature these days. My daughter likes girly stuff(LumberJane, Phoebe and her Unicorn, Smile, Roller Girl, Sisters, Ghosts etc.) but some ones my nephew likes are bone, The Cardboard Kingdom and Batman 66 all age appropriate for a grammar school kid.
Ilov80s
Footballguy
Absolutely should start here. It’s a likely possibility and the most simple one.
Good point. Although it stil means an issue needs to be addressed regarding work ethic, preparation, organization, etc. There are a lot of those non-cognitive based skills that are so important in school.
shadyridr
Footballguy
His tutor, who is also a 4th grade special education teacher, doesn't see any signs of a learning disability. She just thinks he's a typical boy with a bit of laziness and thinks tutoring has been helping. So not ruling anything out but just one person who is in the field's opinion.
Ilov80s
Footballguy
I would trust her opinion more than anyone else here on that matter. She knows him and has the background to understand what is going on. It doesn’t guarantee the tutor is right but her opinion is very valuable. You have the right to request testing at any point. If you put it writing the school has 30 days to make it happen. I wouldn’t jump to that though unless the tutor or teachers of his are on board. Getting tested can be a big deal for a lot of kids and the results or even perceived stigma from it could impact how they see themselves.
shadyridr
Footballguy
Tutor also said they receive so little science time (once a week) that it does sound plausible that if he doesn't study he didn't remember a single thing. She suggested going over a little science with him every day. She also said to definitely check his homework and to definitely study with him. Teachers just don't have time to check the homework. So I feel a little better now that I'm doing things right.
Galileo
Footballguy
Bossman
Footballguy
.You may as well "suggested" reading your auto insurance policy with him.
If he doesn't like the material, he's not ever going to "want" to read.
I like the idea of graphic novels / comic books. Gotta get him to enjoy it.
I'd be sure to make it clear that YOU would be the one reading out loud to him. Taking turns.
... and it shouldn't be a suggestion. Should be a ... "ok, time for you and me to read". Not forceful. Not a punishment.
If you had a reading time schedule ... then he is going to be prepared for it and not feel like he's being punished.
As fathers ... we think nothing of dedicating 3, 4, 6 hours a week on watching football.
Years from now we won't even remember these games ... or care. ... yet we don't dedicate the same time to improving our childrens reading skills.
Which 16 years from then me and my kids still remember and talk about.
Once these formative years are gone, we reap what we've sewn.
Relying on the school system to issue IDP's ... or doctors prescription ... to repair the issue is a last resort and not always effective imo.
