My wife is really smart (1 Viewer)

[Fennis]

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope.

They cost a little more up front, but those laundry detergent pods are great for this. We used to go through a box of detergent every couple of weeks -- just two of us, mind you -- because she'd fill that measuring scoop to the brim, despite the fact that I had taken a Sharpie and marked the line for a regular, non-crapped-in load of laundry.Since I switched us to pods we buy a box maybe once a month now. I'd estimate we save ~30% on our detergent costs.

This is very true. I will not have anything other than pods in the house. I don't do much laundry, but I remember how often we used to run out of detergent. Since we invested in those we double the time between detergent purchases. Same with the dishwasher pods, but to a lesser extent.

penny wise pound foolish. Those dishwasher pods wreck havoc on a dishwasher

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. [ Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope. And not just that she also seems to think we need to buy "stain boosters!' or whatever. A couple of weeks ago I had to tell her "WE'RE NOT FREAKING COAL MINERS!"

Maybe you haven't seen a grass stain in 7 years because your wife is a laundry wizard that refuses to cut corners.

I do the laundry 90% of the time, Gomer.

So you're complaining about her using an extra half cap of detergent 10% of the time? (Assuming you are sticking to the 1/2 cap the 90% you do the laundry...you are making out like a laundry detergent boss!)

Yes

Lol...okay then

It isn't the $1.00 (or whatever) she wastes every month...it's the principle.

I'm pretty sure none of the wives mentioned in this thread are kamikaze pilots yet the fact that most of them can't identify an aircraft carrier from a hole in the ground is indicative of something else.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

And not a fan of the pods or squibs or whatever of laundry detergent. There's no way to portion them out when it comes to load size.

 

[Zow]

And not a fan of the pods or squibs or whatever of laundry detergent. There's no way to portion them out when it comes to load size.

You really care about the laundry, Snuggles

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

And not a fan of the pods or squibs or whatever of laundry detergent. There's no way to portion them out when it comes to load size.

You really care about the laundry, Snuggles

Someone has to, Mike. Someone has to.

 

[Kanil]

penny wise pound foolish. Those dishwasher pods wreck havoc on a dishwasher

Unpack this please.

 

[bostonfred]

Wife took car in to get that annoying squeak fixed. When they asked her if she wanted an oil change too, she said no, thinking they were tryjng to rip her off. It's been 6000 miles since we last had the oil changed.

The car comes with oil. Why would you want to buy more?

 

[GroveDiesel]

penny wise pound foolish. Those dishwasher pods wreck havoc on a dishwasher

Unpack this please.

Yeah, I'm not so sure about this. It's what most manufacturers actually recommend these days.

 

[Fennis]

penny wise pound foolish. Those dishwasher pods wreck havoc on a dishwasher

Unpack this please.

Yeah, I'm not so sure about this. It's what most manufacturers actually recommend these days.

got nothing. just repeating what our plumber told me.

 

[chet]

penny wise pound foolish. Those dishwasher pods wreck havoc on a dishwasher

Unpack this please.

Yeah, I'm not so sure about this. It's what most manufacturers actually recommend these days.

Yeah--it's not like manufacturers benefit when people buy more dishwashers or anything.

 

[Zegras11]

she just asked again

 

[Henry Ford]

My wife just asked me why an area of the country is called the breadbasket.

 

[GroveDiesel]

penny wise pound foolish. Those dishwasher pods wreck havoc on a dishwasher

Unpack this please.

Yeah, I'm not so sure about this. It's what most manufacturers actually recommend these days.

Yeah--it's not like manufacturers benefit when people buy more dishwashers or anything.

If my dishwasher breaks down sooner than what it should, I'm not going to go buy the same brand. So they have an incentive to build something that lasts too. Not to mention that if my dishwasher has a short life, you'd better believe I'm telling other people to stay away.

Telling people to do something to break their product seems like more of a net loss than a gain to me.

 

[the moops]

If my dishwasher breaks down sooner than what it should, I'm not going to go buy the same brand. So they have an incentive to build something that lasts too. Not to mention that if my dishwasher has a short life, you'd better believe I'm telling other people to stay away.

Telling people to do something to break their product seems like more of a net loss than a gain to me.

Except if all the manufacturers are in on it together.

 

[pats3in4]

she just asked again

:Honda: center

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Finally asked my wife the aircraft carrier question about an hour ago.

She knew exactly what it was.

Now if we could only solve those damn laundry problems.

 

[psychobillies]

So a thread gets started about how stupid our wives are, then it turns into an argument over which detergent we should wash our clothes with.

The wives are winning fellas. We should probably tighten up.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So a thread gets started about how stupid our wives are, then it turns into an argument over which detergent we should wash our clothes with.

The wives are winning fellas. We should probably tighten up.

I just stated a fact. Then some other rubes thought they should correct me even though they have no idea what they're talking about.

 

[Zegras11]

she just asked again

:Honda: center

and it's not like she hasn't been to at least 200 games there....

 

[psychobillies]

So a thread gets started about how stupid our wives are, then it turns into an argument over which detergent we should wash our clothes with.

The wives are winning fellas. We should probably tighten up.

I just stated a fact. Then some other rubes thought they should correct me even though they have no idea what they're talking about.

I hear you. My first post in here was about detergent. I just realized it, and think we should get back to all the stupid stuff the women do.

 

[fantasycurse42]

My wife really is smart, but sometimes I think she is just excessively cloudy... I can give about 10 examples from today, but I'll narrow it down to a few.

Dinner:

Her: I'll have the Sauvignon Blanc

Waiter: We don't have that by the glass

Her: I'll have the Cabernet

Waiter returns w/ glass

Her: this is red

Me: you've had about 1,000 glasses of this in your life.

Her: I want something white, how about the Sauvignon Blanc?

Me:

The walk home after dinner (I'm leaving the gelato incident out)

The character playing stranger in this story is about 90-100 years old. Wife has lived with me one block away from Clinton Street for over 5 years. Regardless, we all know women are bad at directions.

Stranger: Which way is Clinton Street?

Wife: It's a few blocks that way (points east)

Me: & not wanting this old man to die of old age hunched over a cane while walking in the complete opposite direction & probably without any type of 21st century communication device... "Sir, Clinton is one block that way" (points west)

 

[Lutherman2112]

Wife took car in to get that annoying squeak fixed. When they asked her if she wanted an oil change too, she said no, thinking they were tryjng to rip her off. It's been 6000 miles since we last had the oil changed.

The car comes with oil. Why would you want to buy more?

Early in our relationship, before marriage, my wife was complaining of how sluggish her car seemed. One of the questions I asked her was, "Did you check the oil?"

Her reply? "Yes. It's still black."

Changed her oil an filter the next day.

 

[Bull Dozier]

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope.

They cost a little more up front, but those laundry detergent pods are great for this. We used to go through a box of detergent every couple of weeks -- just two of us, mind you -- because she'd fill that measuring scoop to the brim, despite the fact that I had taken a Sharpie and marked the line for a regular, non-crapped-in load of laundry.Since I switched us to pods we buy a box maybe once a month now. I'd estimate we save ~30% on our detergent costs.

My wife has this problem with dishsoap, and formerly with dishwasher detergent. When we used liquid dishwasher detergent she would overflow the compartments where you squirt it in, wasting a bunch and leaving residue on everything. We solved that problem with the packets. Where the huge Sam Club sized liquid would last a week, the packets last forever.

We still have the same problem with dish soap. I swear it is a 50/50 mixture of water and soap when she does the dishes. She squirts it in while the water is running and I can count to ten while she is squeezing the bottle. It's insane. Most of the stuff goes in the dishwasher, but pots, pans, and other stuff that can't go it cost us a huge bottle of dish soap every couple of weeks.

 

[The Commish]

penny wise pound foolish. Those dishwasher pods wreck havoc on a dishwasher

Unpack this please.

Yeah, I'm not so sure about this. It's what most manufacturers actually recommend these days.

got nothing. just repeating what our plumber told me.

He's probably referring to the first iteration of these things. The plastic casing would clog the plumbing because they were not melting completely during the wash. There was a battle between the detergent companies and the dishwasher companies on why that was. The detergent companies maintained that the washers weren't getting hot enough. It was a whole "thing", and yes, I know about the "thing"

In short, things have changed and should be fine now.

 

[Apes with Guns]

my friends wife calls fantasy football, magic football. the lack of respect bothers me.

My wife calls my disc golf bag my 'Frisbee Purse'.

i like her sense of humor.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

My wife just asked me why an area of the country is called the breadbasket.

I take it that punching her in the breadbasket was not an option.

 

[bostonfred]

Early in our relationship, before marriage, my wife was complaining of how sluggish her car seemed. One of the questions I asked her was, "Did you check the oil?"

Her reply? "Yes. It's still black."

Did she expect it to go back?

 

[madshot31]

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope.

They cost a little more up front, but those laundry detergent pods are great for this. We used to go through a box of detergent every couple of weeks -- just two of us, mind you -- because she'd fill that measuring scoop to the brim, despite the fact that I had taken a Sharpie and marked the line for a regular, non-crapped-in load of laundry.Since I switched us to pods we buy a box maybe once a month now. I'd estimate we save ~30% on our detergent costs.

My wife has this problem with dishsoap, and formerly with dishwasher detergent. When we used liquid dishwasher detergent she would overflow the compartments where you squirt it in, wasting a bunch and leaving residue on everything. We solved that problem with the packets. Where the huge Sam Club sized liquid would last a week, the packets last forever.We still have the same problem with dish soap. I swear it is a 50/50 mixture of water and soap when she does the dishes. She squirts it in while the water is running and I can count to ten while she is squeezing the bottle. It's insane. Most of the stuff goes in the dishwasher, but pots, pans, and other stuff that can't go it cost us a huge bottle of dish soap every couple of weeks.

They have packets for the dishwasher as well.

 

[17seconds]

My wife has a GPS watch for running. She told me it keeps displaying in kilometers instead of miles. Been like that for a few days.

This morning she says "It's still doing it. Look, I changed the setting to metric and it still won't display in miles."

 

[Johnny Rock]

My wife has a GPS watch for running. She told me it keeps displaying in kilometers instead of miles. Been like that for a few days.

This morning she says "It's still doing it. Look, I changed the setting to metric and it still won't display in miles."

Should've taken it from her to inspect, discreetly switched it to miles and said, "Looks fine to me." :mindblown:

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

My wife has a GPS watch for running. She told me it keeps displaying in kilometers instead of miles. Been like that for a few days.

This morning she says "It's still doing it. Look, I changed the setting to metric and it still won't display in miles."

Blow her mind by telling her that there are about 10 fee apps that well sort all of this out.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope.

They cost a little more up front, but those laundry detergent pods are great for this. We used to go through a box of detergent every couple of weeks -- just two of us, mind you -- because she'd fill that measuring scoop to the brim, despite the fact that I had taken a Sharpie and marked the line for a regular, non-crapped-in load of laundry.Since I switched us to pods we buy a box maybe once a month now. I'd estimate we save ~30% on our detergent costs.

My wife has this problem with dishsoap, and formerly with dishwasher detergent. When we used liquid dishwasher detergent she would overflow the compartments where you squirt it in, wasting a bunch and leaving residue on everything. We solved that problem with the packets. Where the huge Sam Club sized liquid would last a week, the packets last forever.

We still have the same problem with dish soap. I swear it is a 50/50 mixture of water and soap when she does the dishes. She squirts it in while the water is running and I can count to ten while she is squeezing the bottle. It's insane. Most of the stuff goes in the dishwasher, but pots, pans, and other stuff that can't go it cost us a huge bottle of dish soap every couple of weeks.

The amount of dish soap and laundry soap you are supposed to use is dictated by the manufacturer. Pretty simple to figure out.

 

[Johnny Rock]

Out of the blue I asked my wife the aircraft carrier question today and after quizzing me why I would ask such a random question, she answered it perfectly. So I got that going for me.

 

[The Duff Man]

Caught a great Northern Pike fishing off the dock at the cottage. Came up to the house to get my tools so I could kill and clean it.

Told the wife I was going to kill it. She asks, "How? Do you drown it?

 

[Dan Lambskin]

My poor wife has no concept of fractions or decimal equivalents

She had to ask if 0.875 was less than 1 last night

I've also tried to help her with the fractional measurements for cooking too (I.e. 1/8 is half of 1/4)

 

[Henry Ford]

Caught a great Northern Pike fishing off the dock at the cottage. Came up to the house to get my tools so I could kill and clean it.

Told the wife I was going to kill it. She asks, "How? Do you drown it?

 

[mr roboto]

Caught a great Northern Pike fishing off the dock at the cottage. Came up to the house to get my tools so I could kill and clean it.

Told the wife I was going to kill it. She asks, "How? Do you drown it?

The answer is no, Henry. You can't really drown a fish.

 

[Ned]

Caught a great Northern Pike fishing off the dock at the cottage. Came up to the house to get my tools so I could kill and clean it.

Told the wife I was going to kill it. She asks, "How? Do you drown it?

GTFO

 

[chet]

I am going to ask my wife the aircraft carrier question.

 

[T Bell]

My wife just asked me why an area of the country is called the breadbasket.

I trust you indicated it's because it contains examples of dark ones that you'd normally never associate with.

 

[Henry Ford]

My wife just asked me why an area of the country is called the breadbasket.

I trust you indicated it's because it contains examples of dark ones that you'd normally never associate with.

I told her it's where most wicker goods are made.

 

[Cliff Clavin]

Caught a great Northern Pike fishing off the dock at the cottage. Came up to the house to get my tools so I could kill and clean it.

Told the wife I was going to kill it. She asks, "How? Do you drown it?

The answer is no, Henry. You can't really drown a fish.

False. Fish can drown.

 

[mr roboto]

Caught a great Northern Pike fishing off the dock at the cottage. Came up to the house to get my tools so I could kill and clean it.

Told the wife I was going to kill it. She asks, "How? Do you drown it?

The answer is no, Henry. You can't really drown a fish.

False. Fish can drown.

I knew someone would #### up the flow with a technicality - not surprising it's you.

 

[17seconds]

My wife has a GPS watch for running. She told me it keeps displaying in kilometers instead of miles. Been like that for a few days.

This morning she says "It's still doing it. Look, I changed the setting to metric and it still won't display in miles."

Should've taken it from her to inspect, discreetly switched it to miles and said, "Looks fine to me." :mindblown:

I'm not that shrewd. I simply told her metric is kilometers. She said "oh yeah, duh".

I almost went so far as to say it this way: "Metric... meter.. kilometer.. Get it?". Thank god I resisted that urge.

I'm not very good with women.

 

[chet]

I am going to ask my wife the aircraft carrier question.

It's the thing that carries aircraft. The use it in wars. I don't know.

 

[Cliff Clavin]

Caught a great Northern Pike fishing off the dock at the cottage. Came up to the house to get my tools so I could kill and clean it.

Told the wife I was going to kill it. She asks, "How? Do you drown it?

The answer is no, Henry. You can't really drown a fish.

False. Fish can drown.

I knew someone would #### up the flow with a technicality - not surprising it's you.

Not surprising you were wrong

 

[Gene Sackman]

I am going to ask my wife the aircraft carrier question.

It's the thing that carries aircraft. The use it in wars. I don't know.

Just get her something shiny and all will be well..

 

[Frostillicus]

My poor wife has no concept of fractions or decimal equivalents

She had to ask if 0.875 was less than 1 last night

I've also tried to help her with the fractional measurements for cooking too (I.e. 1/8 is half of 1/4)

She's sounds absolutely gorgeous.

 

[Michael Brown]

Me: Hey do you know what an aircraft carrier is?

Wife: What do you mean?

Me: Do you know what an aircraft carrier is?

Wife: Why are you asking me that?

Me: Just a question. Just to see if you know what it is. Do you know what it is?

Wife: (stares at me for about 3-4 seconds)

Me: So do you know what it is?

Wife: (pause)...Like an airplane?

Me: No, an aircraft carrier

Wife: No. What is it?

Me: It's an aircraft......carrier

Wife: I don't know. Something that carries aircraft I guess. Why are you asking me this?!?

Me: Apparently a lot of women don't know what it is. Like how guys don't know what a loofah is.

Wife: Wait is it like those big things out in the middle of the ocean? Like the planes go on it or something?

 

[Frostillicus]

ME: Hey do you know what an aircraft carrier is?

HER: An airplane?

ME: No.

HER: Is it where you put your luggage when you get on an airplane?