***Official PSF Moderation Thread*** (1 Viewer)

[rockaction]

I’ve had a number of discussions on that exact subject on this board that have been productive and worthwhile.  Discussions where people disagree and part being reasonable. In fact I had a mini one with Ivan in that thread.  
 

That is primarily because it is seldom that people use a vulgar slur for a group of people on this board.  
 

That was only determined in 2010 to be an unacceptable use of the word by GLAAD and HuffPost. It was used by the groups themselves (how I learned it) and it has nowhere near the import nor tradition of slurs used towards gays or minorities. You really need to get over your own sermonizing because you can't even see the truth but for it. 

And I used it once and wouldn't be called forth to apologize for that specific one-time use because I don't play that game. You and Ivan had a one-off in that thread. Your disposition of "If you're x, you must be y" has gotten really tendentious. I won't miss any conversation henceforth. 

And @Koya, you need a shoulder to cry on. No one is more aggrieved. Oh, that your heart may be atwitter with joy of some sort! 

 

[rockaction]

Such a shame that brave transphobic voices are being silenced.

Whoa. You're the clever one, aren't you? I'd say it's another alias come to life again.   

 

[rockaction]

PSF Playbook:

(one voice)

"Well, how do you feel about this issue? I mean, let's have a discussion."

(one voice)

"Well, I feel X"

(five voices)

"You feel X?!"

(one voice)

"yes, X."

(ten voices)

"Really?

(one voice)

"X"

(thirty voices)

"Oh, you're a bigot then, let's all send out the signal so we can have a discussion about how you're a bigot and should apologize for feeling X!"

Such a waste of a forum.

 

[dkp993]

Sucks it got axed.  The pile on was in full effect for sure but rock didn’t do anything to stem the tide.  Feel like after the drama settled some good discussion coulda come from it.  Oh well....

 

[dkp993]

PSF Playbook:

(one voice)

"Well, how do you feel about this issue? I mean, let's have a discussion."

(one voice)

"Well, I feel X"

(five voices)

"You feel X?!"

(one voice)

"yes, X."

(ten voices)

"Really?

(one voice)

"X"

(thirty voices)

"Oh, you're a bigot then, let's all send out the signal so we can have a discussion about how you're a bigot and should apologize for feeling X!"

Such a waste of a forum.

While this does happen here, in all fairness I didn’t really feel the dog pile was due to your opinion on the bathrooms, it was about the language used. That’s what most seemed to be going after imo. The general bathroom part of the discussion would have been interesting and less dog pile I believe.  

 

[rockaction]

While this does happen here, in all fairness I didn’t really feel the dog pile was due to your opinion on the bathrooms, it was about the language used. That’s what most seemed to be going after imo. The general bathroom part of the discussion would have been interesting and less dog pile I believe.  

I used a borderline acceptable slang term -- one acceptable for most of my life --  once and got harangued about it the rest of the thread. I don't feel aggrieved. Just stating what happened. The gasket was blown over one use of one word that up until 2011, was endorsed and accepted by gay and transvestite luminaries until GLAADicals got a hold of the language. Fine. Fine by me. But I'm not apologizing on demand because a word has now changed in popular consciousness, regardless of origin or intent. 

 

[dkp993]

I used a borderline acceptable slang term -- one acceptable for most of my life --  once and got harangued about it the rest of the thread. I don't feel aggrieved. Just stating what happened. The gasket was blown over one use of one word that up until 2011, was endorsed and accepted by gay and transvestite luminaries until GLAADicals got a hold of the language. Fine. Fine by me. But I'm not apologizing on demand because a word has now changed in popular consciousness, regardless of origin or intent. 

Sure.  Not disagreeing or passing judgement, just commenting on why it went off the rails.  It wasn’t because you have an opinion on bathrooms.  

 

[rockaction]

Sure.  Not disagreeing or passing judgement, just commenting on why it went off the rails.  It wasn’t because you have an opinion on bathrooms.  

Yeah, I know. I'm not looking to pick at you with anything about what happened. That's more for readers of the thread wondering why.

I agree with your assessment. That is why the thread jumped the rails. 

 

[Henry Ford]

I used a borderline acceptable slang term -- one acceptable for most of my life --  once and got harangued about it the rest of the thread. I don't feel aggrieved. Just stating what happened. The gasket was blown over one use of one word that up until 2011, was endorsed and accepted by gay and transvestite luminaries until GLAADicals got a hold of the language. Fine. Fine by me. But I'm not apologizing on demand because a word has now changed in popular consciousness, regardless of origin or intent. 

This was neither the first time you started a thread on this board about transgender bathroom issues nor the first time you and I discussed them in such a thread. It was, I believe, the first time you used this term in one of them.  
 

Your position on these issues has gotten more reactionary, not less, over time. Which is entirely your right. Your language in the discussion has gotten more vitriolic.  I don’t care that you rail against the “leftists” and how we “look like idiots” again and all of that. What I pointed out to you was that the word you used is a vulgar slur.  It is not the case that I have piled on and told you you’re a bad person for having your opinion.
 

Three and a half years ago you and I had a multi page discussion on the same topic.  And it was fine. 

 

[rockaction]

This was neither the first time you started a thread on this board about transgender bathroom issues nor the first time you and I discussed them in such a thread. It was, I believe, the first time you used this term in one of them.  

Your position on these issues has gotten more reactionary, not less, over time. Which is entirely your right. Your language in the discussion has gotten more vitriolic.  I don’t care that you rail against the “leftists” and how we “look like idiots” again and all of that. What I pointed out to you was that the word you used is a vulgar slur.  It is not the case that I have piled on and told you you’re a bad person for having your opinion.
Three and a half years ago you and I had a multi page discussion on the same topic.  And it was fine. 

It was indeed the first time I've used the term because I was speaking colloquially. If I could go back and change the word, I would. Actually, I wrote an apology for using the word and almost took out a new thread apologizing to Workhouse and ilov80s, one of whom I especially consider for lack of a better term, a real friend, just internet-wise, and the other I consider a fine commenter, though we just don't nearly run in the same circles as much.

You surprised me today by being so quick to call out a word that is so borderline. (It was still being used in shows like Glee in 2011). I think maybe two things need to happen, one for my own self and soul:

1. I should apologize for my offensive comment without excuse but also with an understanding that I'm not self-flagellating over it nor feel compelled to do so; rather I feel impelled to do so because of family and friend considerations
   
2. You should back up a little bit in the future - I may be getting more vitriolic, your sociopolitical positions are hardening into personal ones
   

But the second is up to you. A suggestion would be that you something sends you sideways you can pull me aside with a PM or more of a protestation or matter of fact tone if you really want the word to stop or the point to get across. It's much easier to listen to that way. 

By the way, I am in complete disagreement that I refer to the left as "look[ing] like idiots." I'm not sure that's in my lexical dial-up these days, though it may have been typed a time or two. I seriously doubt it. I definitely refer to people as "leftists," even unchurched ones like joffer likes to be. 

 

[Cowboysfan8]

“Vulgar slur” ??

alrighty then

 

[Don't Noonan]

This was neither the first time you started a thread on this board about transgender bathroom issues nor the first time you and I discussed them in such a thread. It was, I believe, the first time you used this term in one of them.  
 

Your position on these issues has gotten more reactionary, not less, over time. Which is entirely your right. Your language in the discussion has gotten more vitriolic.  I don’t care that you rail against the “leftists” and how we “look like idiots” again and all of that. What I pointed out to you was that the word you used is a vulgar slur.  It is not the case that I have piled on and told you you’re a bad person for having your opinion.
 

Three and a half years ago you and I had a multi page discussion on the same topic.  And it was fine. 

What term?

 

[Ilov80s]

It was an uncomfortable thread. But it was real.

No sense in axing the entire thread, it's a lost opportunity to learn and grow, as a community. I'd also suggest that deleting the thread relieves all of us posting of having to face the words we chose. That, is a shame.

I agree and I think I’m probably about as personally connected to the issue of transgender as anyone here. I think cutting off a conversation, even one that might have been offensive at times is a bad idea.

The most offensive part of the thread was him actually saying he would vote for Trump. No matter how one feels on the issue, I would hope they would vote for Rupaul before they voted for Trump.

 

[Koya]

That was only determined in 2010 to be an unacceptable use of the word by GLAAD and HuffPost. It was used by the groups themselves (how I learned it) and it has nowhere near the import nor tradition of slurs used towards gays or minorities. You really need to get over your own sermonizing because you can't even see the truth but for it. 

And I used it once and wouldn't be called forth to apologize for that specific one-time use because I don't play that game. You and Ivan had a one-off in that thread. Your disposition of "If you're x, you must be y" has gotten really tendentious. I won't miss any conversation henceforth. 

And @Koya, you need a shoulder to cry on. No one is more aggrieved. Oh, that your heart may be atwitter with joy of some sort! 

So you claim I need a shoulder to cry in because I won’t accept the use of epithets and hateful slurs? Um, ok. Give me that shoulder then?  
 

also, I never called you any name, but you can fill in your own blank:

If you use slurs and epithets that are widely regarded as offensive and derogatory, have that pointed out to you by numerous people, and you refuse to even apologize, then you are... 

again, your language and unwillingness has to accept responsibility for that language and apology says it all.  Your attacking me not because of the words I say, but because I point this out to you, give you a chance to apologize, then call you out when you refuse? Don’t see how that makes me the cry baby. Again, what it makes you, we can each surmise on our own. 

 

[parasaurolophus]

Couldnt the mods have just edited the posts that people didnt like? Oh, whats that? Only a few posters get that treatment, oh ok. Carry on. 

 

[Koya]

I agree and I think I’m probably about as personally connected to the issue of transgender as anyone here. I think cutting off a conversation, even one that might have been offensive at times is a bad idea.

The most offensive part of the thread was him actually saying he would vote for Trump. No matter how one feels on the issue, I would hope they would vote for Rupaul before they voted for Trump.

Let’s be honest, the most offensive thing was purposefully using a hateful slur then doubling down on it.

I have huge issues with Trump and those who support him: some because they agree with the venomous, hateful rhetoric and actions, some because they cover for anti American, anti democratic actions, some because they cheer the bullying that demeans the office and our country, and others because they claim to not support any of that, but because it helps them financially or because it makes the libs cry, all of that damage is somehow ok - those are the Trump supporters I find to have the weakest of wills, and with whom I struggle the most to be honest - because they know it’s wrong but selfishly go along at the expense of others and at the expense of our nations well being. 
 

that said, we can have discourse in Trumps policies and behavior and approach.  There are some merits to some aspects of his presidency.  There may be rationale for someone to vote for him even if I disagree.

There is NO place for hateful, derogatory slurs.  None. That’s clear.
 

Well, maybe it is accepted here in these boards, since any other slur of its kind would likely merit a good long TO... is it ok to slur the Trans community but not homosexuals, African Americans, Jews etc?

I guess that’s a bit disturbing too, that with all the over moderation in this board, including the inability to tactfully if harshly point out difficult truths, but truths nonetheless, someone can use the slur in question, others can literally make jokes using it, and apparently that’s ok by the rules of this board.

 

[Koya]

PSF Playbook:

(one voice)

"Well, how do you feel about this issue? I mean, let's have a discussion."

(one voice)

"Well, I feel X"

(five voices)

"You feel X?!"

(one voice)

"yes, X."

(ten voices)

"Really?

(one voice)

"X"

(thirty voices)

"Oh, you're a bigot then, let's all send out the signal so we can have a discussion about how you're a bigot and should apologize for feeling X!"

Such a waste of a forum.

Stop with the “oh, look at me, the poor victim here”

We are NOT up in arms that you put forth a legal argument for separate bathrooms. Many of us disagree and wonder why it is such a concern or priority or why there would set you off, but no one is calling you out as being a bigot for that reason.

Using known slurs* and then refusing to apologize and doubling down on use of those slurs makes you whatever it is that someone who chooses to use epithets and slurs may be. Don’t even need to put a word there because your behavior speaks for itself

* even by your math, it’s been nearly a decade during which that term has been recognized as hateful and derogatory, and if somehow during that bear decade you’ve not learned this, many of us pointed it out to you in the thread, so you had the chance to apologize, yet you doubled down

 

[HellToupee]

Stop with the “oh, look at me, the poor victim here”

We are NOT up in arms that you put forth a legal argument for separate bathrooms. Many of us disagree and wonder why it is such a concern or priority or why there would set you off, but no one is calling you out as being a bigot for that reason.

Using known slurs* and then refusing to apologize and doubling down on use of those slurs makes you whatever it is that someone who chooses to use epithets and slurs may be. Don’t even need to put a word there because your behavior speaks for itself

* even by your math, it’s been nearly a decade during which that term has been recognized as hateful and derogatory, and if somehow during that bear decade you’ve not learned this, many of us pointed it out to you in the thread, so you had the chance to apologize, yet you doubled down

Christ almighty the guy apologized , he made a separate thread for it. 

 

[jon_mx]

Stop with the “oh, look at me, the poor victim here”

We are NOT up in arms that you put forth a legal argument for separate bathrooms. Many of us disagree and wonder why it is such a concern or priority or why there would set you off, but no one is calling you out as being a bigot for that reason.

Using known slurs* and then refusing to apologize and doubling down on use of those slurs makes you whatever it is that someone who chooses to use epithets and slurs may be. Don’t even need to put a word there because your behavior speaks for itself

* even by your math, it’s been nearly a decade during which that term has been recognized as hateful and derogatory, and if somehow during that bear decade you’ve not learned this, many of us pointed it out to you in the thread, so you had the chance to apologize, yet you doubled down

It is still a commonly used word.  I had no idea it was a 'known slur'.  It may be widely 'known' in some circles to be a slur, but it is not universally considered to be a slur.  I would imagine less than half the general population are aware of this.  

 

[sho nuff]

While this does happen here, in all fairness I didn’t really feel the dog pile was due to your opinion on the bathrooms, it was about the language used. That’s what most seemed to be going after imo. The general bathroom part of the discussion would have been interesting and less dog pile I believe.  

The language...and IMO with everything else going on, what may have been just a typical unisex bathroom being a reason to vote for Trump seemed silly.

Also, immediately after people took issue with the language others get defensive and just as abrasive, if not more, than those who were having a problem with it in the first place.

 

[rockaction]

Christ almighty the guy apologized , he made a separate thread for it. 

Forget it. There's something wrong with this human being and has been for a while. I humored it and tried to encourage productive conversation, but it's not to be had. 

 

[HellToupee]

 12 hours later.

What’s funny about this? Would you rather he dig in his heels??

 12 hours later

Honestly this place is a sewer at times

 

[toshiba]

Christ almighty the guy apologized , he made a separate thread for it. 

Forget it. There's something wrong with this human being and has been for a while. I humored it and tried to encourage productive conversation, but it's not to be had. 

I hope you are not saying your apology was just humoring people, because that was one of the more classy things I have seen on this board in some time.  It is fair to assume that if you thought you did something worth apologizing for that some will accept it and other's won't.  Let your apology stand on it's own merits.  I think it is fair to just direct anyone who wants to continue the discussion of your use of that term to that apology.  If it isn't good enough to someone there isn't anything else you can say, just moving forward avoid that term and act the way your wonderful (in my view) apology indicates you have evolve to.

 

[The Commish]

Christ almighty the guy apologized , he made a separate thread for it. 

Forget it. There's something wrong with this human being and has been for a while. I humored it and tried to encourage productive conversation, but it's not to be had. 

I hope you are not saying your apology was just humoring people, because that was one of the more classy things I have seen on this board in some time.  It is fair to assume that if you thought you did something worth apologizing for that some will accept it and other's won't.  Let your apology stand on it's own merits.  I think it is fair to just direct anyone who wants to continue the discussion of your use of that term to that apology.  If it isn't good enough to someone there isn't anything else you can say, just moving forward avoid that term and act the way your wonderful (in my view) apology indicates you have evolve to.

 

[Ramblin Wreck]

Christ almighty the guy apologized , he made a separate thread for it. 

It's the same level of ridiculous over the top drama that it was in 2016 from this guy.  

 

[Joe Bryant]

I guess that’s a bit disturbing too, that with all the over moderation in this board, including the inability to tactfully if harshly point out difficult truths, but truths nonetheless, someone can use the slur in question, others can literally make jokes using it, and apparently that’s ok by the rules of this board.

We don't have an official list of how offensive every possible term can be. Looking at this after it blew up, clearly quite a few people saw the term as offensive. I would say the term is offensive. And the thread was deleted. In a perfect world, the moderators would spend the time needed (and it's a good bit) to go through post by post and edit out the offensive posts. In reality, when a thread gets that many reports and it's that big, the whole thing will be deleted as what happened yesterday. 

From what I could see, this seemed to be a situation of differing on how offensive a term was. A situation like that is often something we'll not suspend a poster for. But it can be a gray area without a lot of clarity. Which is basically everything on this board from a moderation standpoint. 

He made a completely new thread and offered a heartfelt apology. I'm sorry to year you think we have such a low standard for how I operate and "the rules of the board". But pretty much disappointing everyone there is about what I've come to understand is reality. 

 

[HellToupee]

It's the same level of ridiculous over the top drama that it was in 2016 from this guy.  

It’s like a guy angrily yelling out his window and shaking his fist 

 

[HellToupee]

But pretty much disappointing everyone there is about what I've come to understand is reality. 

Sounds like you take the Rick Nelson approach 

“You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself“

 

[Joe Bryant]

Sounds like you take the Rick Nelson approach 

“You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself“

Except moderating this board is beyond unpleasant. 

 

[timschochet]

Sounds like you take the Rick Nelson approach 

“You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself“

“Garden Party”- love that song. 

 

[rockaction]

I hope you are not saying your apology was just humoring people, because that was one of the more classy things I have seen on this board in some time.  It is fair to assume that if you thought you did something worth apologizing for that some will accept it and other's won't.  Let your apology stand on it's own merits.  I think it is fair to just direct anyone who wants to continue the discussion of your use of that term to that apology.  If it isn't good enough to someone there isn't anything else you can say, just moving forward avoid that term and act the way your wonderful (in my view) apology indicates you have evolve to.

Hey toshiba,

You're very accurate and I should just let it rest. And I will. I was speaking about prior experiences.

I did not mean to indicate I was just humoring people. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I hope this clarifies that a bit. 

 

[Henry Ford]

We don't have an official list of how offensive every possible term can be. Looking at this after it blew up, clearly quite a few people saw the term as offensive. I would say the term is offensive. And the thread was deleted. In a perfect world, the moderators would spend the time needed (and it's a good bit) to go through post by post and edit out the offensive posts. In reality, when a thread gets that many reports and it's that big, the whole thing will be deleted as what happened yesterday. 

From what I could see, this seemed to be a situation of differing on how offensive a term was. A situation like that is often something we'll not suspend a poster for. But it can be a gray area without a lot of clarity. Which is basically everything on this board from a moderation standpoint. 

He made a completely new thread and offered a heartfelt apology. I'm sorry to year you think we have such a low standard for how I operate and "the rules of the board". But pretty much disappointing everyone there is about what I've come to understand is reality. 

I don't think there's a moderation failure here.  I don't even think, long-term, there's a poster failure here.  While the poster in question originally doubled down, intentionally offended, and attempted to use it as a badge of honor, he eventually issued an apology to the people who need to hear it.  It was an opportunity for some introspection and empathy, and while it didn't go that way when originally suggested, it did go that way eventually.  Which is ultimately (I hope) what matters.  

If the thread had been axed immediately, it wouldn't have gone that way.  If the thread hadn't been axed at all, I don't think it would have gone that way.  If he'd been suspended it wouldn't have gone that way.  Feels like the right set of events all around, in the end.

 

[Henry Ford]

I'll also say this:

My original post in that thread was, in substance, this:

"That word is a vulgar slur.  Your views on this topic are bigoted and unsupportable in rational discourse.  You should consider looking at that part of your worldview."

It was terse, and I probably could have fleshed it out a lot more and had it be less terse, but it was not some attack.  It was a statement intended to inform someone I do genuinely like to talk about things with on this board that he's being way out of line and almost certainly offending some people on this board I know he genuinely does not want to hurt.  It is not the first discussion he and I have had on this topic, nor even close to it. It's all on the board, in relevant threads.

It is, in my mind, no different than when I was similarly corrected in the Alex Trebek thread.  To which my response was something to the effect of "You're right, that was a stupid thing to say."

After that, the thread went where it went, and whatever.  But I intend to, and I hope everyone else on this board intends to, call out those kinds of statements both here and in real life.  

If someone who I don't like says them, I tend to be very caustic.  If someone I do like says them, I tend to try tell them what they're doing is wrong and to try to get some perspective on why.  My intention was the latter.  If it wasn't taken that way, then I failed to communicate my intention.

 

[Koya]

We don't have an official list of how offensive every possible term can be. Looking at this after it blew up, clearly quite a few people saw the term as offensive. I would say the term is offensive. And the thread was deleted. In a perfect world, the moderators would spend the time needed (and it's a good bit) to go through post by post and edit out the offensive posts. In reality, when a thread gets that many reports and it's that big, the whole thing will be deleted as what happened yesterday. 

From what I could see, this seemed to be a situation of differing on how offensive a term was. A situation like that is often something we'll not suspend a poster for. But it can be a gray area without a lot of clarity. Which is basically everything on this board from a moderation standpoint. 

He made a completely new thread and offered a heartfelt apology. I'm sorry to year you think we have such a low standard for how I operate and "the rules of the board". But pretty much disappointing everyone there is about what I've come to understand is reality. 

Joe, I recognize that language is fluid and not blaming you all, it just kinda surprised me as this isn’t 2008, it’s 2019.  My biggest issue was that he was told and, at the time, not only didn’t apologize but doubled down. I will check to see the new thread and hopefully this can be a positive learning experience for us all.

I apologize for my negativity borne of frustration, and recognize y’all are trying your best.  It hurts when it’s demonstrated that a term is terribly hurtful and they push back, and others come in and literally use that word in “jokes” - hope you can understand my position and I’ll do my best to be more constructive should I continue to post here. 

I do love this community, and I’m hardly innocent of fault myself on this and other issues and will try to do my best to make it a better and more constructive dialogue through action rather than #####ing. 
 

 

 

[Koya]

Christ almighty the guy apologized , he made a separate thread for it. 

As I said, I did not know that, and have since seen that thread and very much appreciate @rockaction 's contriteness and sincerity.

 

[Koya]

It is still a commonly used word.  I had no idea it was a 'known slur'.  It may be widely 'known' in some circles to be a slur, but it is not universally considered to be a slur.  I would imagine less than half the general population are aware of this.  

Then let's look at this as a learning experience.  I hardly run in only liberal circles (hell, I live in Texas and work in commercial real estate), and I can say with authority that 90% of the people I know would recognize that it is now considered a slur.

However, my experience is hardly the only one on this board, and it's good to understand your and others' perspectives.  While it bothered me that some pushed back when it was demonstrated how harmful and derogatory that term can be, it also brightened my spirit all the more to see that our discussion had an impact, and resulted in a heartfelt apology. 

Most important, it appears that some on this board have learned from this, so as not to offend, hurt, harm, nor disparage those in the Trans community (and as a friend of those in that community, I also consider myself part of that community. ####, we are all one damn community in the end).

 

[rockaction]

I'll also say this:

My original post in that thread was, in substance, this:

"That word is a vulgar slur.  Your views on this topic are bigoted and unsupportable in rational discourse.  You should consider looking at that part of your worldview."

It was terse, and I probably could have fleshed it out a lot more and had it be less terse, but it was not some attack.  It was a statement intended to inform someone I do genuinely like to talk about things with on this board that he's being way out of line and almost certainly offending some people on this board I know he genuinely does not want to hurt.  It is not the first discussion he and I have had on this topic, nor even close to it. It's all on the board, in relevant threads.

It is, in my mind, no different than when I was similarly corrected in the Alex Trebek thread.  To which my response was something to the effect of "You're right, that was a stupid thing to say."

After that, the thread went where it went, and whatever.  But I intend to, and I hope everyone else on this board intends to, call out those kinds of statements both here and in real life.  

If someone who I don't like says them, I tend to be very caustic.  If someone I do like says them, I tend to try tell them what they're doing is wrong and to try to get some perspective on why.  My intention was the latter.  If it wasn't taken that way, then I failed to communicate my intention.

I want to let this die, but I am merely writing to affirm what you're saying, noting it, and say that I take your claim about your intent purely at face value in my book; you've certainly earned it. You've talked me down before in an intra-board scrap, and it was much appreciated then. I hope the apology and then subsequent behavior regarding the word in question will suffice.

As I said, I did not know that, and have since seen that thread and very much appreciate @rockaction 's contriteness and sincerity.

No sweat, Koya. Your passion is also certainly noted and I thought of both you and Henry as the more passionate members on the board that deserved to hear from my mouth that the use of the word is not a place I'll traverse in again.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Joe, I recognize that language is fluid and not blaming you all, it just kinda surprised me as this isn’t 2008, it’s 2019.  My biggest issue was that he was told and, at the time, not only didn’t apologize but doubled down. I will check to see the new thread and hopefully this can be a positive learning experience for us all.

I apologize for my negativity borne of frustration, and recognize y’all are trying your best.  It hurts when it’s demonstrated that a term is terribly hurtful and they push back, and others come in and literally use that word in “jokes” - hope you can understand my position and I’ll do my best to be more constructive should I continue to post here. 

I do love this community, and I’m hardly innocent of fault myself on this and other issues and will try to do my best to make it a better and more constructive dialogue through action rather than #####ing. 
 

Thanks.  But I bear 100% of blame when it's the "apparently that’s ok by the rules of this board." shot. Always have.

I'm just whining I know but getting super tired of not even getting a benefit of the doubt on anything. The other day I was accused of trolling for asking for someone's opinion and then stuff like this. Just gets tiring. Seems like a ton of heartache that far outweighs the upside. And yes, this is 100% whining from me. 

 

[Zow]

Looks like the bathroom thread got the axe. That was good, productive discussion about how I was mentally ill, too. 

And don't forget the discussion about how you're a near-sighted voter!  

 

[Zow]

Thanks.  But I bear 100% of blame when it's the "apparently that’s ok by the rules of this board." shot. Always have.

I'm just whining I know but getting super tired of not even getting a benefit of the doubt on anything. The other day I was accused of trolling for asking for someone's opinion and then stuff like this. Just gets tiring. Seems like a ton of heartache that far outweighs the upside. And yes, this is 100% whining from me. 

I've been on this board for 15 years now. It's made me a better, more well-rounded person. I imagine it has for others as well. I say this to assure you that there is upside that you do not see. 

ETA: I also think that the mods do a really, really good job here. I imagining being a mod is like being a basketball ref. It's a really, really difficult task where inevitably somebody is going to be mad despite your best efforts. But, like the game of basketball where it couldn't exist without refs, this board couldn't exist without mods. 

 

[Don't Noonan]

Then let's look at this as a learning experience.  I hardly run in only liberal circles (hell, I live in Texas and work in commercial real estate), and I can say with authority that 90% of the people I know would recognize that it is now considered a slur.

However, my experience is hardly the only one on this board, and it's good to understand your and others' perspectives.  While it bothered me that some pushed back when it was demonstrated how harmful and derogatory that term can be, it also brightened my spirit all the more to see that our discussion had an impact, and resulted in a heartfelt apology. 

Most important, it appears that some on this board have learned from this, so as not to offend, hurt, harm, nor disparage those in the Trans community (and as a friend of those in that community, I also consider myself part of that community. ####, we are all one damn community in the end).

If this is a learning experience we need to know what word was used that was offensive.  Bueller?

 

[Zow]

If this is a learning experience we need to know what word was used that was offensive.  Bueller?

The plural of the shortened version of "transmission." 

 

[Don't Noonan]

The plural of the shortened version of "transmission." 

Thanks.  That is offensive?  What are you supposed to call them?

 

[AAABatteries]

And yes, this is 100% whining from me. 

Be excellent and please don’t whine.

  
 

 

 

[Joe Bryant]

Be excellent and please don’t whine.

  
 

 

Guilty

 

[McJose]

Thanks.  That is offensive?  What are you supposed to call them?

Transgender or Trans

 

[tonydead]

Thanks.  That is offensive?  What are you supposed to call them?

Transsexy!

 

[Sinn Fein]

Thanks.  That is offensive?  What are you supposed to call them?

Caitlyn

 

[The Commish]

Thanks.  But I bear 100% of blame when it's the "apparently that’s ok by the rules of this board." shot. Always have.

I'm just whining I know but getting super tired of not even getting a benefit of the doubt on anything. The other day I was accused of trolling for asking for someone's opinion and then stuff like this. Just gets tiring. Seems like a ton of heartache that far outweighs the upside. And yes, this is 100% whining from me. 

My mama used to tell me, "consider the source son"...I strongly urge you to take that advice around this place too JB....you're doing a fine job  

 

[Koya]

Transsexy!

You can do better than this.  Sincerely. 

What the hell is wrong with people as to treat entire groups with a such a lack of respect? Again, this after multiple jokes in the now deleted thread after the point had been clearly made that the use of the term in question was derogatory.

Damn. We should freaking do and be better. And don’t call me a crybaby for asking us to respect each other.  That ain’t on me asking for freaking decency.