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Sad Day - Oldest Leaves the Nest Today (why do we start cleaning the house after he's left) (1 Viewer)

coopersdad

Footballguy
Oldest son went to college about an hour away.  Far enough to be on his own, but still around.  Played 4 years of college baseball.  Graduated in May 19 and moved back home to save money and get his online masters, and got a job teaching / coaching in a smaller town about an hour away.  Covid hits, and he teaches from home for 3 months, and then continued the commute all last school year.  Met a girl.  Found a job about 4 weeks ago as an athletic director that will take him to the northside of the Metroplex (hour and half away).  They've spent the last 2 weeks getting everything organized.  Got the keys to the apartment yesterday and moved stuff from her house, and then today they came to mine.  Last load left about 30 minutes ago. 

Gave him a hug and tried to be strong (been raising him and his brother w/o much help from the ex the past 4 years), but as soon as the truck drove off, I lost it as I knew that this was probably the last time that he was going to "live" at his home.  

So what do I start doing..............washing his linens, straightening up his room, cleaning the boys bathroom. Why, he's moved out?  I remember my mom doing the same thing when my sister left.  Must be some sort of "nesting" thing that we are programmed to do.  

Youngest needs lunch brought to high school as he forgot it this morning, so at least I'll have him to take care of for another 10 months.  

Thanks for letting me vent.  I think I'll watch some TV on the porch tonight and pour a double and toast all the parents who (like me) sacrifice and raise good kids.  SALUTE!!!     

 

Doug B

Footballguy
Thinking about this stuff a lot lately.

My daughter is a college freshman. Even though she's staying local for college and still lives with us, she's aiming to get out of our house ASAP**. There will be hard knocks for her, and she'll be able to return if she ever wants/needs to ... but she is determined and will make her way out at some point sooner than later.

My son is a high school freshman, and he's already showing a lot of the same itch as his sister.

** We get along well, she just can't wait to get more space and be out on her own as an adult.

 

coopersdad

Footballguy
The youngest (of three) was the hardest for me. 
I believe that mine (next year) will also be the hardest.  We've spent the last 4 years basically on our own (while oldest was at school/working), traveling to baseball tournaments, vacations, etc.  He's the quieter of the 2, but he's also the more social (friends w/ everyone, where as the older kept his circle really small).  We take turns cooking, he helps w/ cleaning, makes straight a's.  Never much of a problem (other than he tore his ACL right in the middle of baseball recruiting).  He's ready to go, and I tease him that with covid and work from home I may follow him to wherever he goes to play baseball.  At 1st he was like NO!!!!, but then said "you could move so that your an hour away, that way you can come to all the games).  

 

STEADYMOBBIN 22

Footballguy
I was happy when they all left.  Thought the party should have been for wife and I.  All good kids. All went to college. All have decent jobs. No one addicted to any drugs.
Well done and good for you (and the wife).

I think I will be closer to how you feel but not without a few tears shed. (Out in the garage where nobody can see me of course). 

The wife will be a wreck for a little while. 
 

ETA- Girls, Junior and sophomore in HS. We’ve still got some roads to travel and hurdles to overcome but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel!!!!

 
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playin4beer

Footballguy
This dad of four daughters has one left in high school (sophomore)..  The oldest is on her own in an apartment.. the next two are in College but live at home.. The youngest thinks she can do whatever she wants because her sisters pretty much are on their own.  The house goes from extremely quiet with just me, the wife and the dog, to utter chaos when all are home and have friends over.. I'm not sure which way is my favorite.. 

 

PIK95

Footballguy
I'm sitting outside party city, while my son and four friends are inside buying black hats and whatevs, to wear to the first football game.  I have to cut the grass, go shopping, and they are holding me up!  There is nowhere I would rather be right now.  My daughter is twelve.  I am terrified of 2027 when my house will be empty.

 
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kevzilla

Footballguy
One of my oldest friends just brought The Golden Child up to Austin. He was the valedictorian of a tiny high school on a barrier island, and I hope he's ready for classrooms that would hold his entire high school with room to spare.

 

JaxBill

Footballguy
Been an empty nester for over a year. But it takes on new meaning when one of them moves multiple time zones away to take a "real job".

 

Gawain

Footballguy
I have a 5, 3 and 2 year old. Wife and I just had our first date in more than a year. It was at kindergarten orientation. We had to fly my mother-in-law in to watch the other two while the 5yo rode the bus for 20 minutes. It was glorious.

If you'd like to borrow them for a few hours just let me know. 

 

-OZ-

Footballguy
I have a 5, 3 and 2 year old. Wife and I just had our first date in more than a year. It was at kindergarten orientation. We had to fly my mother-in-law in to watch the other two while the 5yo rode the bus for 20 minutes. It was glorious.

If you'd like to borrow them for a few hours just let me know. 
Ah yes the good old days. 
and by good old days I mean the 12 years or so where we were moving often and wife didn’t really trust anyone to watch the kids so our idea of a date was watching tv for a few minutes before a kid would come screaming. 
 

meanwhile, my wife’s sister has always lived as mile from her parents and mom watched her little devils a few days every week. 
i prefer the way we did it. 

 
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Clown Car

Footballguy
4 of mine have moved out. 7 more to go. The rooms seem so big and empty now. 3 come back every Sunday for dinner. 1 moved to California (we are in Florida)!so we only see her once a year or so. I am proud of all of them for getting out there and holding their own and making life what they want it. But sometimes I get overwhelmed with missing the old days when my oldest was 5 or even a baby. I miss her so much. 

Good job dad! You launched him into a bright future. 

 
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coopersdad

Footballguy
4 of mine have moved out. 7 more to go. The rooms seem so big and empty now. 3 come back every Sunday for dinner. 1 moved to California (we are in Florida)!so we only see her once a year or so. I am proud of all of them for getting out there and holding their own and making life what they want it. But sometimes I get overwhelmed with missing the old days when my oldest was 5 or even a baby. I miss her so much. 

Good job dad! You launched him into a bright future. 
Checks math 4+7=11.  Yep.  Have no idea how you do it , but congrats.

Obviously big van for family outings, or 2 cars?

Hopefully your not provided cell phone plans.

 

Clown Car

Footballguy
Checks math 4+7=11.  Yep.  Have no idea how you do it , but congrats.

Obviously big van for family outings, or 2 cars?

Hopefully your not provided cell phone plans.
I have a 12 passenger for most things we all go to and a Prius when it’s just a couple of us. 
Everyone who drives pays me for insurance. Anyone who wants a data plan gets their own. I have an amazing husband and great friends. The kids are pretty decent people. 

 

stlrams

Footballguy
Oldest son went to college about an hour away.  Far enough to be on his own, but still around.  Played 4 years of college baseball.  Graduated in May 19 and moved back home to save money and get his online masters, and got a job teaching / coaching in a smaller town about an hour away.  Covid hits, and he teaches from home for 3 months, and then continued the commute all last school year.  Met a girl.  Found a job about 4 weeks ago as an athletic director that will take him to the northside of the Metroplex (hour and half away).  They've spent the last 2 weeks getting everything organized.  Got the keys to the apartment yesterday and moved stuff from her house, and then today they came to mine.  Last load left about 30 minutes ago. 

Gave him a hug and tried to be strong (been raising him and his brother w/o much help from the ex the past 4 years), but as soon as the truck drove off, I lost it as I knew that this was probably the last time that he was going to "live" at his home.  

So what do I start doing..............washing his linens, straightening up his room, cleaning the boys bathroom. Why, he's moved out?  I remember my mom doing the same thing when my sister left.  Must be some sort of "nesting" thing that we are programmed to do.  

Youngest needs lunch brought to high school as he forgot it this morning, so at least I'll have him to take care of for another 10 months.  

Thanks for letting me vent.  I think I'll watch some TV on the porch tonight and pour a double and toast all the parents who (like me) sacrifice and raise good kids.  SALUTE!!!     
I did the same when my youngest moved out in March.  He was and is my best friend as been raising him and his sister full time when my ex moved out 7 years ago.  Every day I would play and practice a sport with him and he ended capitain of soccer, basketball and tennis teams.  

 

Courtjester

The Town Drunk
Our oldest just graduated from college and just found a real world job in her field. For the last four years of college we have heard and seen her more often than when she lived here. if she doesn't call/Facetime six times a day, then something is wrong. Of course today, she isn't talking to us because  we have been paying for everything for her for the past three months while she was waiting for this job to come through . I mean we have put out probably close to 5k for rent, bills food, car repair . Her first paycheck is coming up this week, but she called last night to ask for more money to get through. I said sure, but she has developed a bad habit of Juuling with her boyfriend. I told her I am tired of the money I am sending going to that junk (it is like $12 every other day). That didn't go well.  

Our other daughter is a senior in high school, She doesn't quite have the love of school our oldest had, but she is still a straight A student.  We are trying to convince her to go to the local community college for two years and stay at home with us. 

 

NewlyRetired

Footballguy
I always read these threads with a different point of view because I live on the other side of things.

My daughter, as many know, has some personal issues which will likely never be able to see her be an independent woman and as such she will almost certainly be living with us for the rest of her life.

Sadness for me is not being able to see your child experience life as most "normal" adults experience things.  I can't articulate how happy it would make me if by a miracle, she was able to go out on her own and start to live life, for lack of a better term.

 

beer 30

Footballguy
We’re there and it’s definitely a transition. Wife and I spend a lot time reading, doing our thing. We’ve never been much of the going out crowd so just hang at the house mostly shuffling through our daily routines. One of my girls went to college 15 minutes away, graduated and live 3 miles from us and teaches about a mile away so we see her quite a bit. The other is a junior at a school about 1 1/2 hours away so we see her quite a bit too. Always fun when she comes back for an extended weekend or break because it breaks up our boring routine and gets us to do things outside the house. She plans on moving away after graduation but I can’t see her going too far. She still likes the security of being able to come home if she needs to.

@SHIZNITTTT

 
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Exit 1

Footballguy
Sad? Huh? Time to get the wife up on the granite counter tops...

But in all seriousness, don't be sad. You did good raising your kid(s). Live your life. Don't be the non-stop, all in their biz parent. Get some hobbies and have fun. 

 

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