Son has a transgendered child in his kindergarten class (1 Viewer)

[Chemical X]

I think a lot of people are missing the ball here. The question isn’t “is it okay to be transgendered?”

More along the lines of if parents should influence their child’s behavior, and if it’s correct to do so from a very young age, in this case, at two years old. 

But the pitchforks were out early, so we never made it to the appropriate topic.

still, do you definitively know they did and if so, does it effect you? 

 

[El Floppo]

I think a lot of people are missing the ball here. The question isn’t “is it okay to be transgendered?”

More along the lines of if parents should influence their child’s behavior, and if it’s correct to do so from a very young age, in this case, at two years old. 

But the pitchforks were out early, so we never made it to the appropriate topic.

Influence or support? We're influencing our kids behaviour with every single thing we do. Sounds like you've come to a highly informed opinion and decided these other parents are making the kid act and dress against the kid's will. That would be terrible. 

I honestly don't care how somebody else does it with their kid, as long as they're raising the kid to be a decent, aware, considerate and respectful person...the areas of their behavior that would affect me as an outsider.

 

[huthut]

There have been instances where they tried to make someone the incorrect gender and it failed, so I could believe there is something inherent in gender identity that could be switched and identified early. Like a botched circumcision linked below:

https://www.bbc.com/news/health-11814300

 

[fantasycurse42]

Influence or support? We're influencing our kids behaviour with every single thing we do. Sounds like you've come to a highly informed opinion and decided these other parents are making the kid act and dress against the kid's will. That would be terrible. 

I honestly don't care how somebody else does it with their kid, as long as they're raising the kid to be a decent, aware, considerate and respectful person...the areas of their behavior that would affect me as an outsider.

I can’t say definitively, it’s an opinion looking at the history. To me, it appears the parents were convinced their boy was a girl. I don’t think a toddler really makes these kind of decisions. At 2 years old, I think most children can be pushed into a certain type of behavior by their parents.

The child is who the child is, and I have no issue with this. I have no issue with my son playing with this child either. I’d take issue if the parents steered the child into this, and I think it’s a possibility, but who knows, hence why I’ll keep the opinion to myself irl.

 

[El Floppo]

I can’t say definitively, it’s an opinion looking at the history. To me, it appears the parents were convinced their boy was a girl. I don’t think a toddler really makes these kind of decisions. At 2 years old, I think most children can be pushed into a certain type of behavior by their parents.

The child is who the child is, and I have no issue with this. I have no issue with my son playing with this child either. I’d take issue if the parents steered the child into this, and I think it’s a possibility, but who knows, hence why I’ll keep the opinion to myself irl.

That's party of parenting that really took me by surprise. I had assumed so much of my future kids lives we're going to be nurture more than nature dictated. But the second floppinho could start to engage the world...I'd even say pre-1... It was clear to me that this kid was born with a very specific personality and disposition. Well...not clear, I guess. Where I felt like I've failed the most as a parent has been trying to force him (or at least have failed expectations of him) into acting or doing things my way. 

I obviously don't know those parents or their kid as well as you, but from my own experience and from what I've seen around me, I wouldn't be surprised if their kid very early on initiated the direction they've taken, and the parents are doing their best to support their son. Not saying it's impossible, but that makes a lot more sense to me than a set of parents imposing those kind of choices on the kid in the first place.

 

[Ignoramus]

Put me down in the camp that thinks it's okay for parents to influence their children's behavior. Edgy, I know.

 

[simey]

I can’t say definitively, it’s an opinion looking at the history. To me, it appears the parents were convinced their boy was a girl. I don’t think a toddler really makes these kind of decisions. At 2 years old, I think most children can be pushed into a certain type of behavior by their parents.

I saw an interview a few years ago with some parents of a transgender child. They said ever since he could walk and talk he identified himself as a female. He didn't want to go by his boy name, he wanted to be called a specific girl name. He told them all the time he was a girl. He wanted to wear girls clothes. He would tell his mother he should have what she has (talking about her vagina). They would give him batman and spider man action figures, and he only wanted wonder woman. They took him to a psychologist, and it was determined he really identified himself as a girl. They decided to let him be who he felt he was. The father said he remembered one night he had a poker game at his house, and his son ran through the room in a dress. He said he was initially embarrassed, but when explained to his buddies what the deal was, they were all supportive. They joined a support group for parents of transgender children, and were pleasantly surprised that there was such a support group.  Their child was happy being who he felt he was, and that was being a she. Anyway, it is not unbelievable that some children feel from the get-go that they are a gender opposite of what they were born as.

 

[Nick Vermeil]

But again, I don’t think a child makes the choice to be dressed like a girl for their holiday photos right around 2

How clueless are you? My son’s favorite outfit at 2 was a frozen dress. He still likes to paint his nails. My younger son has a male friend that only wears dresses. Are either of them transgender?  No.  Probably  not. Sounds like you’re afraid of anything that goes against your gender norm sterotyoes. 

 

[gianmarco]

I can’t say definitively, it’s an opinion looking at the history. To me, it appears the parents were convinced their boy was a girl. I don’t think a toddler really makes these kind of decisions. At 2 years old, I think most children can be pushed into a certain type of behavior by their parents.

The child is who the child is, and I have no issue with this. I have no issue with my son playing with this child either. I’d take issue if the parents steered the child into this, and I think it’s a possibility, but who knows, hence why I’ll keep the opinion to myself irl.

You're being told otherwise. Evidence and research says otherwise.

Do you want to educate yourself and learn about something you clearly don't know much about or do you think your perspective on this is correct and doesn't need to be changed?

It's ok to be wrong. It's ok to admit you were wrong. In case it wasn't clear, your "opinions" on when toddlers start to develop gender identities is wrong. HTH.

 

[Captain Cranks]

Less money on expensive watches.  More money on expensive therapy.  Ywia. 

 

[fantasycurse42]

Didn’t realize this board was filled with sooo many experts on topic of gender identification for children 2 years old.

Such an awesome group, as long as you agree with the super progressive consensus, this is a great place. 

Also, make sure to read up on the numerous small handfuls of research that has been done on this topic dating back tens and tens of months, otherwise you’re just an ignorant Neanderthal.

 

[General Malaise]

Feel like you and Otis are in some sort of contest this weekend. 

 

[gianmarco]

Feel like you and Otis are in some sort of contest this weekend. 

Classic FFA when the thread doesn't quite go how the OP expected.

It's an Otis vs FC42 version of the Eat-Off.  Without the eating. Or the funnies.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Classic FFA when the thread doesn't quite go how the OP expected.

It's an Otis vs FC42 version of the Eat-Off.  Without the eating. Or the funnies.

It’s exactly what I expected, tbh 

The super tolerant pat themselves on the back progressives throwing insults at those that have the nerve to question anything or anyone about their agenda.

 

[Slapdash]

How about I pose the questions as this:

At what age do you think a child is capable of identifying as the opposite sex with no influence from anyone else? 

Is it possible parents could influence a young child into something they might not have done? 

Honestly, I think if you were looking at the same pictures I saw, with parents dressing their son up fully as a girl for holiday photos around 2 years old, you’d scratch your head like me. 

There is nothing wrong with being transgendered, nothing at all if that’s someone’s choice, but I think it’s naive to say there are NO parents out there who have behaved like this in being an influence. And while that’s few and far between, I think I’ve come across a pair.

Yeah, I think that is odd too.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Yeah, I think that is odd too.

Blush & eyeliner... idk, to me that’s on the parents, but apparently I’m an ignorant insensitive stereotypical animal that needs expensive counseling.

I love this forum

 

[Captain Cranks]

Blush & eyeliner... idk, to me that’s on the parents, but apparently I’m an ignorant insensitive stereotypical animal that needs expensive counseling.

I love this forum

You need expensive counseling because you're an angry person who's always complaining about something.  Hth.  

 

[Epic Problem]

Didn’t realize this board was filled with sooo many experts on topic of gender identification for children 2 years old.

Such an awesome group, as long as you agree with the super progressive consensus, this is a great place. 

Also, make sure to read up on the numerous small handfuls of research that has been done on this topic dating back tens and tens of months, otherwise you’re just an ignorant Neanderthal.

Wait! I’m confused. Whose the victim here, you or xyz?

 

[fantasycurse42]

You need expensive counseling because you're an angry person who's always complaining about something.  Hth.  

You’ve mentioned youre mid-40’s and in marital counseling (religious counseling nonetheless, and you’re atheist iirc) with a girlfriend you don’t live with, that’s you, right? If not, disregard.

If so, maybe worry about your own issues, my house is in perfect order

 

[Epic Problem]

You’ve mentioned your mid-40’s and in marital counseling (religious counseling nonetheless, and you’re atheist iirc) with a girlfriend you don’t live with, that’s you, right? If not, disregard.

If so, maybe worry about your own issues, my house is in perfect order

Based on the confusion behind having a conversation with your wife about a transgendered 6 year old, I beg to differ 

 

[fantasycurse42]

Wait! I’m confused. Whose the victim here, you or xyz?

Go back to counting likes in this thread, as you noted you were doing before

 

[fantasycurse42]

Since he’s so hung up on the like system around here, go ahead and look at what comments in this thread that are garnering them. Majority of them are the ones calling him out for being exactly what he’s always been on this site. 

In case you forgot, you were tracking the tallies 4 hours ago, I know it’s important to you.

 

[gianmarco]

You’ve mentioned youre mid-40’s and in marital counseling (religious counseling nonetheless, and you’re atheist iirc) with a girlfriend you don’t live with, that’s you, right? If not, disregard.

If so, maybe worry about your own issues, my house is in perfect order

My link

 

[Epic Problem]

Go back to counting likes in this thread, as you noted you were doing before

When it comes down to the crux of this whole thing, weren’t you the one counting likes in the first place so you could come up with your super-genius theory? 

Again, your lack of self awareness is mindboggling. 

 

[Juxtatarot]

My link

Is this going to have the same ending?

 

[fantasycurse42]

When it comes down to the crux of this whole thing, weren’t you the one counting likes in the first place so you could come up with your super-genius theory? 

Again, your lack of self awareness is mindboggling. 

Thanks for validating my point with the 27 reactions to every post of mine in this thread. It’s a sensitive topic being called out on switching accounts for more likes, awful deflection to show you don’t care. You’re a simple man, took me longer than it should have, but you’re easily manipulated and about half as smart as you believe you are.

The red letters, that one, man that was my favorite though 

You’ve given me enough entertainment for one day, let’s save some for downtime in the office.

 

[Epic Problem]

Thanks for validating my point with the 27 reactions to every post of mine in this thread. It’s a sensitive topic being called out on switching accounts for more likes, awful deflection to show you don’t care. You’re a simple man, took me longer than it should have, but you’re easily manipulated and about half as smart as you believe you are.

The red letters, that one, man that was my favorite though 

You’ve given me enough entertainment for one day, let’s save some for downtime in the office.

A masterful display of pulling those proverbial strings, Mr Henson. I hope you sleep well tonight. 

 

[gianmarco]

Is this going to have the same ending?

Close to 1 minute mark? Yeah, that was nuts how fast that happened.

 

[Chaka]

Hey I'm still on the fence about this gender identity thing.

Can someone break down the pros and cons of heterosexual v homosexual v gender fluid so I can finally decide which one I want to be?

 

[General Malaise]

Hey I'm still on the fence about this gender identity thing.

Can someone break down the pros and cons of heterosexual v homosexual v gender fluid so I can finally decide which one I want to be?

You have to choose in your mid-twenties after years of confusion while being dissuaded from asking your parents for guidance. 

 

[fantasycurse42]

A masterful display of pulling those proverbial strings, Mr Henson. I hope you sleep well tonight. 

So much in this post to digest, outside of the like counting, the no tolerance for his type (apparently not seeing eye to eye with Limp Ditka), and you won’t hesitate to lay the message board smack down. Gonna be message board Captain soon, no more patrolman for you. Serious business, bruh!

Really a masterpiece, might have to read it again tomorrow. Not the first time you’ve written something similar, you must be one gigantic tool irl. 

Goodnight pal, thanks again for this.

I have absolutely zero issue with this when it comes to my interactions with FC.

Since he’s so hung up on the like system around here, go ahead and look at what comments in this thread that are garnering them. Majority of them are the ones calling him out for being exactly what he’s always been on this site. 

And you know why that is? Becuse he has given me, as well as many others around here, plenty of evidence to pass that judgment upon him. And to be honest, I have no tolerance for his type and will continue to call him out on his bull#### when it’s appropriate. 

 

[fantasycurse42]

You have to choose in your mid-twenties after years of confusion while being dissuaded from asking your parents for guidance. 

Maybe they can just chop your schvantz off when you’re 17 minutes old and make the decision for you, take the guesswork and confusion out of it. Who wants an extra 24 months of indecision for a baby?

 

[Chaka]

You have to choose in your mid-twenties after years of confusion while being dissuaded from asking your parents for guidance. 

So what happens if I haven't chosen by the time I turn 50?

 

[shuke]

It’s exactly what I expected, tbh 

The super tolerant pat themselves on the back progressives throwing insults at those that have the nerve to question anything or anyone about their agenda.

It's not that you're questioning it.  It's the stance you're taking of not really listening to any other opinions and acting like a complete ### about it.

I'm not super progressive.  I have a buddy that has a daughter going through this.  My initial reactions were, "ok, maybe it's a phase at that age, not sure if she can be completely sure, but I really have no experience with this".  But I didn't fly off the handle like you are, and was actually open to mature discussion about the matter.

 

[fantasycurse42]

It's not that you're questioning it.  It's the stance you're taking of not really listening to any other opinions and acting like a complete ### about it.

I'm not super progressive.  I have a buddy that has a daughter going through this.  My initial reactions were, "ok, maybe it's a phase at that age, not sure if she can be completely sure, but I really have no experience with this".  But I didn't fly off the handle like you are, and was actually open to mature discussion about the matter.

Go read the first 20-30 posts in this thread, what percentage we’re trying to engage in a real discussion? 

What percentage were insulting me? Seriously, please answer that question. But I’m the ####, apparently. 

 

[shuke]

Go read the first 20-30 posts in this thread, what percentage we’re trying to engage in a real discussion? 

What percentage were insulting me? Seriously, please answer that question. But I’m the ####, apparently. 

You mean all the posts following this mature, well thought-out unbiased take on the matter?

these liberal ######## parents have basically decided to turn their boy into a girl

 

[Capella]

You mean all the posts following this mature, well thought-out unbiased take on the matter?

these liberal ######## parents have basically decided to turn their boy into a girl

lol 

yea I don’t know what FC42 was expecting here. Go read your first post another 5-6 times. 

Also, kids know by that age. 

 

[fantasycurse42]

You mean all the posts following this mature, well thought-out unbiased take on the matter?

these liberal ######## parents have basically decided to turn their boy into a girl

So they decided to come down to my level, but that’s somehow better or different. 

The hypocrisy from the most tolerant in society is fascinating.

I can be a #### sometimes and very straightforward, I don’t hide it, there is the difference.

 

[The General]

Have you had any interaction with the parents?

 

[Epic Problem]

So they decided to come down to my level, but that’s somehow better or different. 

The hypocrisy from the most tolerant in society is fascinating.

I can be a #### sometimes and very straightforward, I don’t hide it, there is the difference.

Let me get this straight.... everyone else is doing it here, but you’re the one with the real balls and not hiding it. Do I have that right? 

 

[fantasycurse42]

Also, kids know by that age. 

Not sure what you base this on, but I disagree. 

And there is no way enough research has been done on children between 0-24 months to validate your opinion or mine. 

I don’t even know how they’d go about this or if it even should be done to children that young.

 

[Stompin' Tom Connors]

The question of what age a kid can or should decide for themselves what their sexual identity one is an interesting one to debate -- at 2? In middle school? Before/after puberty/sex? All of the sudden in a gym locker at age 39? -- but in the end it's ultimately irrelevant.

For one, kids develop their sense of self, their identity (gender, sexual, and any other aspect), and themselves at different times. 

The point is not when a kid could/should decide, it's that they should have the freedom to do so without judgment, retribution, and shame, and with as much support as is afforded any other personal life decision.

The point of whether parents should be deciding for their kids is an interesting question as well, but one I think is more rhetorical. Does anyone really believe a parent should decide what their kids' sexual orientation should be (assuming that's a decision they could ever feasible make in the first place)?

So I think we can (and appear to be) all agree that parents should be supportive of whatever their kid wants to do in the pursuit of happiness -- whether it's their son dressing up for the day as a princess, or their daughter making a longer term decision to live her life as a boy.

In the OP's case, is the child happy with what's going on and the parents supportive? Great. Leave it alone.

If the OP is concerned the parents are forcing the kid into it and you have visible evidence that the kid is not happy with this -- aside from the fact that I would think evidence of this would be really hard to have at this stage an in these kinds of brief interactions at a school -- then I would talk to the school about what kind of awareness programs, student outreach, and other mechanisms they have to support both a child and their parents through this kind of gender issue, advocate for more if there isn't any, and then trust that if/when this becomes an issue for the kid (if at all), they have the right kind of support all around them.   

 

[Max Power]

It is gender dysphoria. The most widely accepted view in the pediatric community seems to be let them be who they want if it doesnt harm anyone. They strongly caution against any sort of body modifications until much later in life. 

 

[fantasycurse42]

The question of what age a kid can or should decide for themselves what their sexual identity one is an interesting one to debate -- at 2? In middle school? Before/after puberty/sex? All of the sudden in a gym locker at age 39? -- but in the end it's ultimately irrelevant.

For one, kids develop their sense of self, their identity (gender, sexual, and any other aspect), and themselves at different times. 

The point is not when a kid could/should decide, it's that they should have the freedom to do so without judgment, retribution, and shame, and with as much support as is afforded any other personal life decision.

The point of whether parents should be deciding for their kids is an interesting question as well, but one I think is more rhetorical. Does anyone really believe a parent should decide what their kids' sexual orientation should be (assuming that's a decision they could ever feasible make in the first place)?

So I think we can (and appear to be) all agree that parents should be supportive of whatever their kid wants to do in the pursuit of happiness -- whether it's their son dressing up for the day as a princess, or their daughter making a longer term decision to live her life as a boy.

In the OP's case, is the child happy with what's going on and the parents supportive? Great. Leave it alone.

If the OP is concerned the parents are forcing the kid into it and you have visible evidence that the kid is not happy with this -- aside from the fact that I would think evidence of this would be really hard to have at this stage an in these kinds of brief interactions at a school -- then I would talk to the school about what kind of awareness programs, student outreach, and other mechanisms they have to support both a child and their parents through this kind of gender issue, advocate for more if there isn't any, and then trust that if/when this becomes an issue for the kid (if at all), they have the right kind of support all around them.   

Well-thought-out post, appreciate this perspective. FWIW, I have no intention of sticking my nose in, was simply looking for opinions like this.

 

[parasaurolophus]

I let my daughter where her coat backwards friday. She put her pet dinosaurs in the hood like barles charkley.

I just wanted to share that and this seemed like the thread for "sometimes little kids want to wear weird things"

She actually believes these little dinosaurs are real and her pets too. 

 

[OrtonToOlsen]

Maybe they can just chop your schvantz off when you’re 17 minutes old

Is there something you want to tell us?

 

[gianmarco]

So they decided to come down to my level, but that’s somehow better or different. 

The hypocrisy from the most tolerant in society is fascinating.

I can be a #### sometimes and very straightforward, I don’t hide it, there is the difference.

You should really reread the first page. The vast majority of responses didn't come down to your level at all. Most were quite respectful, actually.

 

[fantasycurse42]

You should really reread the first page. The vast majority of responses didn't come down to your level at all. Most were quite respectful, actually.

You’re ignorant and angry, maybe pull your head out of the sand. Maybe I’ll pull some money together to get you to the good idea mat.

I’m being respectful to you too, actually.

Seems like a lot of anger and assumptions built into one post

So out of character for him

I can’t imagine there being any information here that you’re not privy to, so I’m sure that the conclusions you’ve come to are sound

Anyways, these liberal ######## parents have basically decided to turn their boy into a girl, from what I’ve gathered. At 2, 3, 4, 5 years old, this isn’t really a decision a child makes without the influence of parents. These parents disgust me, I can only imagine the conversations these super liberal yuk yuks have - oh Jimmy wants to be a girl, we have this amazing transgendered child and we’re so proud. That’s how I can picture their conversations going. 

What's that noise? Oh, it's a child laughing. Disgusting.

I have a friend with a 4 year old girl that insists on dressing, playing and acting like a boy.   Haircut,  clothes and everything.

parents are not liberal and are actually concerned with the potential issues that come along with this.

Some kids are just born like this, guy.  Pull your head out.

Please dont be angry in this thread

If the FFA pools its money together, we could afford two Jump to Conclusions mats.

One for FC42, one for Otis.

This is our chance to do some good, people.

I don’t have kids and am not versed in child development, gender identity but I’d say this is none of your business.

It's not my child and unless you can demonstrate it, the child is both loved and unharmed by his parents, so I have no opinion other than to butt the F out, which is my advise to you.

/thread

P and S, don't teach your kids to be judgy. It's not cool. 

We have 2 in my small NJ town, that i know of.

One the girls is like 4 and wants to be a boy. Actually hard to tell when the kid is running around with all the other kids.

My wife talks to the parents a bit and they're not super liberal or whatever unfortunate stereotype people want to label others as. 

Parents are having a difficult time with it but making the best of it. Basically playing along and following the lead of the child.

This has been going on for a few years now. Kid is probably 6 or 7 now? Family is well adjusted. Has other kids. Seems like they are dealing with it as best as they can, they haven't declared anything. I almost think other people have a harder time than they do with it.

That age does seem young to make any rash decision but all i can say, selfishly, is im glad i don't have to deal with it. If the alternative is to fight daily and insist on dressing the kid up in a skirt, growing her hair out and telling her she is a girl to the point the kid is daily in tears...i think i too would play along early on. That kid runs around playing with all the other kids and it's beautiful. It's the adults that make the situation ugly. The kid is loved by his parents, family and friends.

I don't fully understand that type situation and for everyone's sake i hope OP keeps his ignorant feelings to himself. I don't like to judge what other people do too much when i don't have to deal with it myself.

 

[The General]

  11 hours ago, The General said:
I don’t have kids and am not versed in child development, gender identity but I’d say this is none of your business.

How is this "disrespectful"?

You asked for people's perspective in your post.

 

[fantasycurse42]

How is this "disrespectful"?

You asked for people's perspective in your post.

I don’t recall ever saying I was involving myself in the situation. At best, it’s irrelevant, unless posting anonymous stories about anonymous people on anonymous boards is somehow involving myself.