Things you would prefer not to hear (1 Viewer)

[Bucky86]

Are you finished?

 

[McGarnicle]

No sir, this is a legitimate massage parlor. Please put that away.

 

[AAABatteries]

There was a sale at Neiman Marcus!

 

[Aerial Assault]

First off, how are you doing?

 

[drummer]

Lies about MoP

 

[Nigel]

queafs

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

"Where does your wife keep the empty shampoo bottles?"

 

[Tom Servo]

Dad, my math teacher says he posts online as "Ministry of Pain."

 

[Super King]

queafs

queefs are awesome. I always giggle when I make a chick queef

 

[CurlyNight]

First off, how are you doing?

Ahhh yessss, especially from folks who rarely if ever ask!

 

[seahawk 17]

Stripper: You look like my Dad

This is actually a great thing to hear. Your night is about to get awesome.

 

[Wingnut]

Welcome to our new automated menu. For english, press 1

 

[Wingnut]

Please stay on the line, a resprsentative will be with you shortly.

 

[Ministry of Pain]

MoP: "I am your child's new math teacher."

"MOP is on the phone for you."

Funny

 

[CurlyNight]

Please stay on the line, a resprsentative will be with you shortly.

And bonus are those places that automatically disconnect you after you've been holding forever- or after going through the complex pita menu you get the too many people are waiting and try your call later: click. It's the message every minute of the day every day.

 

[drummer]

Woz has a sex tape

 

[Tom Servo]

Woz has a sex tape

Is there puking?

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Stripper: You look like my Dad

This is actually a great thing to hear. Your night is about to get awesome.

According to a popular sitcom find out what cologne he uses & you are "in".

 

[CBusAlex]

Stripper: You look like my Dad

This is actually a great thing to hear. Your night is about to get awesome.

        |                                ***        |                               *   *        |                              *    *        |                             *     *        |                           **      *        |                         **        * Level  |                       **          *  of    |                     **            *Awesome |                  ***              *        |               ***                 *        |            ***                    *        |         ***                       *        |      ***                          *        |   ***                             *        |***                                *        +-----------------------------------*-            How much you look like her dad  *                                            *                                            *                                            *                                            *                                            *                                            *                                            *                                            *                                            *                                            *                                            *                                            *                                            *                                             *

 

[Maik Jeaunz]

"I hope you're not using the toilet, it's broken."

 

[Zow]

"So I went on that message board you always post on…"

 

[Zow]

Woz has a sex tape

 

[Parrothead]

will the defendant please rise

 

[McGarnicle]

"Mind if we search your vehicle?"

 

[CurlyNight]

will the defendant please rise

guilty!

 

[JB Breakfast Club]

Welcome to Wal-Mart

 

[Franknbeans]

Dad, can I have a purity ball?

 

[Tom Servo]

Woz has a sex tape

Woz has a sex tape

Is there puking?

 

[Raider Nation]

Honey, a "Doctor Gobbler" just called for you. He says he'll gladly accept your wager.

 

[Wingnut]

This next song is a track from our upcoming album....

 

[Emerson Biggens]

"I'm pregnant" - day before appointment for vasectomy (heard it)

Two weeks later - "its twins" - same pregnancy

Just the other day from the dentist working on me - "well that's not going to work, there's too much blood"

 

[Ministry of Pain]

It's not titty touching time

 

[Ilov80s]

The refs are going to the monitor.

 

[JohnnyU]

It's like .....and it's like......and it's like......and it's like.

 

[CurlyNight]

As you're flying..... captain: "we are going down!"

 

[CurlyNight]

"I'm pregnant" - day before appointment for vasectomy (heard it)

Two weeks later - "its twins" - same pregnancy

Just the other day from the dentist working on me - "well that's not going to work, there's too much blood"

 

[Tom Servo]

"I'm pregnant" - day before appointment for vasectomy (heard it)

Two weeks later - "its twins" - same pregnancy

Just the other day from the dentist working on me - "well that's not going to work, there's too much blood"

Congratulations on having twins.OTOH

 

[pizzatyme]

After further review...

Watch this...

Let's do shots

It's not you, it's me

 

[Leroy Hoard]

It's not you, it's me

Still slightly better than "It's not me, it's you".

 

[JohnnyU]

It's not you, it's me

Still slightly better than "It's not me, it's you".

It happens to a lot of men