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Trouble getting pregnant? (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter snitwitch
- Start date
fatguyinalittlecoat
Footballguy
That sucks, Norv.
Ramsay Hunt Experience
Footballguy
That does suck, Norvy. I'm sorry.
I know you said this was probably your last chance, but in the event that it isn't and in case it's helpful for others, I'll talk a bit about how my wife and I went through the process after several failed cycles.
What was particularly frustrating to us was that each cycle was a black box. We'd get X number of eggs each time. Generally about 50% of those X eggs would fertilize and then some percentage of those fertilized eggs would reach the blastocyst stage. We would then implant one or two blasts and hope. In most cases, we would get at least an early positive pregnancy test, but usually the betas would fail to rise quickly and we'd have a chemical pregnancy. Twice, we got to the point where we'd have the ultrasound to try to see a heartbeat to be told the fetus had stopped developing. Which obviously sucked.
My wife was old, so we knew that the problem was probably anyeuploid embryos, but we couldn't be sure (this is normally the problem with women over 40). When we'd talk to our doctor about doing PGD testing before implantation to try to determine if the embryo was normal, he'd just that "doesn't ultimately increase your chances." And, of course, in some respects he was right. Finding out an embryo is anyeuploid before implantation still gives you the same result of no pregnancy. But for my wife and I, it was frustrating not knowing for sure whether that was the problem. What if it was something else that we could actually treat? In any case, we had to have D&C for the second embryo that miscarried in the 7th week and we had that tissue tested. We learned it was a genetically normal girl (after the doctor had misread the report and told us it was an anyeuploid girl). That pretty much convinced us to go to another practice that would take our questions and concerns seriously.
When we went to the new practice, we decided to test and freeze every blastocyst. We decided to run two extraction cycles before trying any implantation. And we decided, with input from the doctor, to put my wife on a blood thinner because she's a carrier for a genetic clotting condition and we were worried that mico-clots might have contributed to the miscarriages. The first extraction produced three genetically normal embryos. Unlike the old practice, this practice "scored" embryos for fitness and we had two "excellent" embryos and one "very good" embryo. The second extraction cycle produce no genetically normal embryos. We implanted one of the normal embryos and kept my wife on the blood thinner throughout the pregnancy. We had frequent ultrasounds. And we had a boy in February. But even if the result hadn't been better, I felt more comfortable in the process because I felt that I was getting information and I was more involved in the decision-making.
I know you said this was probably your last chance, but in the event that it isn't and in case it's helpful for others, I'll talk a bit about how my wife and I went through the process after several failed cycles.
What was particularly frustrating to us was that each cycle was a black box. We'd get X number of eggs each time. Generally about 50% of those X eggs would fertilize and then some percentage of those fertilized eggs would reach the blastocyst stage. We would then implant one or two blasts and hope. In most cases, we would get at least an early positive pregnancy test, but usually the betas would fail to rise quickly and we'd have a chemical pregnancy. Twice, we got to the point where we'd have the ultrasound to try to see a heartbeat to be told the fetus had stopped developing. Which obviously sucked.
My wife was old, so we knew that the problem was probably anyeuploid embryos, but we couldn't be sure (this is normally the problem with women over 40). When we'd talk to our doctor about doing PGD testing before implantation to try to determine if the embryo was normal, he'd just that "doesn't ultimately increase your chances." And, of course, in some respects he was right. Finding out an embryo is anyeuploid before implantation still gives you the same result of no pregnancy. But for my wife and I, it was frustrating not knowing for sure whether that was the problem. What if it was something else that we could actually treat? In any case, we had to have D&C for the second embryo that miscarried in the 7th week and we had that tissue tested. We learned it was a genetically normal girl (after the doctor had misread the report and told us it was an anyeuploid girl). That pretty much convinced us to go to another practice that would take our questions and concerns seriously.
When we went to the new practice, we decided to test and freeze every blastocyst. We decided to run two extraction cycles before trying any implantation. And we decided, with input from the doctor, to put my wife on a blood thinner because she's a carrier for a genetic clotting condition and we were worried that mico-clots might have contributed to the miscarriages. The first extraction produced three genetically normal embryos. Unlike the old practice, this practice "scored" embryos for fitness and we had two "excellent" embryos and one "very good" embryo. The second extraction cycle produce no genetically normal embryos. We implanted one of the normal embryos and kept my wife on the blood thinner throughout the pregnancy. We had frequent ultrasounds. And we had a boy in February. But even if the result hadn't been better, I felt more comfortable in the process because I felt that I was getting information and I was more involved in the decision-making.
xulf
Footballguy
That one guy
Footballguy
Apologize if any of this has been covered as I just found this thread and have only read the last 2 pages...
After 4 unsuccessful IUI attempts, the wife and I moved to IVF. Has the fertility dr talked about frozen eggs having better implantation rate than fresh? Has ICSI for fertilization been explored?
Can't speak from experience on the frozen egg angle as we were blessed with first round success (but the rest of the team is down in Miami chilling in a storage facility), the dr is who brought up the subject, the numbers, and his personal opinions on those numbers.
ICSI was something we did choose to do (they actually inject a single sperm directly into egg); it is pricy, but the option of doing half normal fertilization half ICSI kept costs down somewhat. So, of the 12 harvested eggs, 6 were petree dished and 6 were given direct single sperm injections: the 6 regulars all failed, the 6 ICSI all took; clearly the extra price was worth it
The IVF process was/is the hardest thing I've had to deal with emotionally in my life. I hate it for you that that it's unsuccessful so far and hope and pray that more chances remain and the goal becomes a reality
After 4 unsuccessful IUI attempts, the wife and I moved to IVF. Has the fertility dr talked about frozen eggs having better implantation rate than fresh? Has ICSI for fertilization been explored?
Can't speak from experience on the frozen egg angle as we were blessed with first round success (but the rest of the team is down in Miami chilling in a storage facility), the dr is who brought up the subject, the numbers, and his personal opinions on those numbers.
ICSI was something we did choose to do (they actually inject a single sperm directly into egg); it is pricy, but the option of doing half normal fertilization half ICSI kept costs down somewhat. So, of the 12 harvested eggs, 6 were petree dished and 6 were given direct single sperm injections: the 6 regulars all failed, the 6 ICSI all took; clearly the extra price was worth it
The IVF process was/is the hardest thing I've had to deal with emotionally in my life. I hate it for you that that it's unsuccessful so far and hope and pray that more chances remain and the goal becomes a reality
TobiasFunke
Footballguy
Sorry, man.
I don't remember the details of your situation but if you or anyone else here ever wants to talk about the egg donor thing, let me know.
NorvilleBarnes
Footballguy
Thanks guys. The extra punch in the gut was finding out on Fathers Day.
Thanks for sharing RHE, we're at a new place now, and despite the disappointment this time around we're much happier here than with our previous place. Spank room notwithstanding.
Yeah Tog, we're doing ICSI and it is expensive. I really hate wasting money (really. hate.) but the only alternative is to give up. Not ready to do that yet.
Thanks for sharing RHE, we're at a new place now, and despite the disappointment this time around we're much happier here than with our previous place. Spank room notwithstanding.
Yeah Tog, we're doing ICSI and it is expensive. I really hate wasting money (really. hate.) but the only alternative is to give up. Not ready to do that yet.
The Z Machine
Footballguy
Best of luck, Norv. We're here for you regardless.
fred_1_15301
Footballguy
Our first attempt was a success and it was frozen. The success rates at our clinic were ~ the same for fresh vs frozen. We also attempted IUI 4 or 5 times and then were fortunate enough to be successful with IVF. I believe we also did ICSI but now I can't recall for sure. I can't really empathize with many in here because my insurance covered a very good chunk of the cost. At the end of July we will be trying for baby # 2 (we still have 3 blasts left). I'm not nearly as nervous now as I was before baby # 1. My heart goes out to all of you who are trying for your first and those who have been unsuccessful so far. Keep up the hope and it will happen someday.
Gawain
Footballguy
What insurance do you have that's covering IVF?
We have IUI coverage, so even though we're 0-2, we're committed for a couple more attempts, but neither my wife nor I can get IVF coverage, even from the high plans at work.
fred_1_15301
Footballguy
Horizon BCBS. They cover a lifetime maximum of ~ $20,000 - $25,000 for assisted reproductive therapy (includes IUI and IVF) and I believe they provide an additional amount towards the meds. I'm not sure how much of that we used up with our first IVF but I think we're in good shape (since we want to stop at 2 kids).
fatguyinalittlecoat
Footballguy
It likely is because of where he lives. Some states require insurers to provide a certain amount of IVF coverage.
That one guy
Footballguy
Our insurance covered the dr visits, labs, and most of the meds. The procedures were excluded and we had to finance that portion. The pregnancy and birth, however, was practically cost free...I think we "spent" around $25k all said
SouthJersey
Footballguy
Good luck man! Is this one of your frozen guys? We're thinking of putting our frosty in play in September to try for #2.Wooderson said:
SouthJersey
Footballguy
We did this as well before our successful IVF round. Wifey definitely said it helped her relax. Will probably do it again when we try for #2.
Wooderson
Fight The Power
Yep it's one on ice. First one didn't unthaw well so they went to number 2 and it looked good.
We will find out in 10 days.
Wooderson
Fight The Power
Zow
Footballguy
We were set for our second try at a transfer next Wednesday. My wife went in for a routine ultrasound this morning and was told her lining was at the same place where it was when we went in last weekend (report was good last weekend). Just got a call from the doctor and they're going to cancel the cycle so as to not risk another embryo will a less than ideal transfer. Wife is in hysterics. Doctor only spoke to her for a couple of minutes and really didn't provide any answers. We have to set a phone consult for some time next month. We're at a loss because my wife has been diligently taking the hormones.
Everything about this process sucks. No real answers. Now we have to spend more cash on medications and wait another few months to try again. And i'm seriously considering punching the first person who tells me that "this must be part of God's plan" in the face.
Everything about this process sucks. No real answers. Now we have to spend more cash on medications and wait another few months to try again. And i'm seriously considering punching the first person who tells me that "this must be part of God's plan" in the face.
The Commish
Footballguy
What question(s) is she looking for an answer to? If it's not an ideal situation, I wouldn't do it. If you were in last week, and things were good, they should have gotten better this week. Seems like the doctor didn't like the progress (or lack thereof). Think of it this way, if you're a farmer and your sugar cane is at 4 feet tall on August 1st, that's good. If on Sept 1st, it's still 4 feet tall, that's not good. I do agree that the process sucks, but it seems like you guys need someone else in the process to talk with. We not only had our doctor, but the nurses who could translate for us as well.Zow said:
Zow
Footballguy
We understand that and we are grateful that this is getting canceled before we risk losing an embryo, even though it sucks right now.
The question we are looking to have answered (and I acknowledge there just may not be one) is why, when my wife followed the medication to the "T", would her lining just stop developing over the last six days? Her lining grew fine last time. She followed the instructions this time. What went wrong?
The Commish
Footballguy
A few things could contribute. Was she on clomid at any point? If so, even after a few months of being off, it can have an effect. A sedentary lifestyle is also one. Perhaps she was less active, contributing to a lower blood flow. She could have gotten some uterine fibroids as well, though the doctors should have seen those. They aren't typically a big deal though.
Zow
Footballguy
You could be right. My wife dieted well this past week but didn't exercise (she's hot and cold with that). I'll bring that up gently for next time.
We did hear back from the doctor. I think they realized we have been abit unlucky so our coordinator called us. She thinks my wife just had a bad cycle. She was well above where they wanted her at last time so we know it's possible. Just seems like another instance of bad luck.
We did hear back from the doctor. I think they realized we have been abit unlucky so our coordinator called us. She thinks my wife just had a bad cycle. She was well above where they wanted her at last time so we know it's possible. Just seems like another instance of bad luck.
The Commish
Footballguy
I'll be honest, people mock me when I say that child birth is a miracle, but it really is in my mind. The amount of things that have to be exactly right are unbelievable. Keep your chin up man....their are so many factors that getting an answer to "why" can be very frustrating if not damn near impossible.
Ramsay Hunt Experience
Footballguy
This really isn't a big setback in the scheme of things. Your clinic did exactly what you'd want them to do. Fertilized embryos are the scarce resource. You'd never want to implant when conditions aren't where they want them. They can tweak meds to get the endometrium where they need it.
Zow
Footballguy
Agree completely. Just tough to swallow in the short term. My wife is very sad about it right now. We have to now wait an entire cycle and she has to do another set of hormones. I'm said b/c she's sad and frustrated b/c it's basically 1k down the drain.
Zow
Footballguy
I get this.But I also get that childbirth has been around for hundreds of years and there's an argument we are overpopulated. I'm also in a position where I encounter firsthand situations of women in less than ideal situations spitting out kids at incredible rates despite not being exactly healthy with their bodies.
Quite simply, childbirth is easy for many. My wife and I are just unlucky. We've been dealt a bad beat. And like the poker player who played his hand right again yet lost, we are going to be pissed for awhile.
Wooderson
Fight The Power
It didn't work this time. "Thanks for asking "
We plan to try again in October. 6 embryos left.
The Commish
Footballguy
Steve Tasker
Footballguy
Perhaps this isn't the right thread for this, but I can't find any info online and you guys are all pretty educated on this topic. We are not currently trying to have children but will likely in the next, say, like 2-3 years. My family has a history of mental handicap and my fiancee's family has a history of multiple births. Is there any way to pre-screen to see what are the chances of either of these occurring?
Steve Tasker
Footballguy
Also, sorry to hear the bad news, Woz.
The Commish
Footballguy
Not sure about the mental issues. If there's a specific disease etc, you might want to talk with a geneticist for more information or read up online. As for the twin thing, I don't think identical twins can be determined. This event is simply a product of the process but I think there's something that can be found regarding fraternal twins. I'd guess it has more to do with the mother's genetics than anything else though.
Zow
Footballguy
No idea about pre-screen but out ivf guy can do it where he reduces these risks. Pricey, but could be an option for you.
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
https://www.counsyl.comBy week 9 of the pregnancy (which is really early) they can tell you quite a lot with a very high level of accuracy. We didn't do anything pre-pregnancy, but I'd assume them or a competitor would be the leaders in the field for any type of those services, if available. I know http://www.natera.com is a competitor, but they cost twice as much as counsyl for the tests we had run.
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NorvilleBarnes
Footballguy
Zow
Footballguy
Well, I'm currently sitting in a Vegas hotel room because our transfer got delayed yet again today just an hour before it was scheduled. Doctor says the thawed embryo is "okay" but just didn't expand so we are waiting a day. If it doesn't expand then he thaws another (which would mean we have one left). While this isn't the worst news, the whole roller coaster ride continues to mess with our lives. I have two pleadings due tomorrow at work that I'm not going to get to (and I probably won't get extensions because civil attorneys are #######s) and am missing out on a meeting which would be financially beneficial. Also backed out of a golf tourney on Saturday. Yes, I'm being selfish but damnit this process is frustrating. Just forked over another 300 plus dining out fees and dog sitter to stay another night.
If this embryo does turn into my child I'm giving that child so much crap for messing with my life by not even being an embryo correctly and costing me money and fun.
If this embryo does turn into my child I'm giving that child so much crap for messing with my life by not even being an embryo correctly and costing me money and fun.
NorvilleBarnes
Footballguy
The Commish
Footballguy
fred_1_15301
Footballguy
I must have posted in here 2 to 3 years ago. Since then we went through the adoption process and our baby girl, Theodora May, was born on 8/25. All the right number of digits and healthy. We did domestic adoption through an agency and were able to be there for the birth. Took her with us out of the hospital 48 hours later.
As you can tell I am a proponent of adoption. Happy to answer any PMs if anyone wants to talk about the process. Good luck all.
As you can tell I am a proponent of adoption. Happy to answer any PMs if anyone wants to talk about the process. Good luck all.
The Commish
Footballguy
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