Gottabesweet
Footballguy
A co-worker and I have noticed the weirdest happenings in our bathroom at work. We have about 60-70 guys in the building (two stalls). Do any of you have anyone weird or is this just messed up? We even have nick-named some of them and figured out who most were.
Guy #1 - "The Wiper" Any time the dude drops a #2 he's wiping for :30 to :45 seconds each time. It sounds like you're taking your hands to "pray" and rubbing them up and down. It sounds like sand-paper. I hope he's wiping.
Guy#2 - This guy is always pooping. He's in there for 30 minutes at a time, but every :10 to :15 seconds he rips off a tiny piece/square of TP. Almost like collecting them through his poop. From what it sounds like is he has a stack of TP almost like a stack of playing cards once he's complete. He also wipes with his feet tilted (like his ankles) rolled. Clearly OCD confirmed weird IT guy
Guy#3 - This guy walks in grabs a paper towel. Holds the paper-towel against the wall, almost like he's being frisked. Takes a pee, flushes the toilet with the paper towel and then walks out without washing his hands. Apparently this is fine because he touched nothing? not even his D....
Guy#4 - Harry Potter (looks like him) Brushes his teeth 4 times a day. Weird but not overly-weird.
Guy#5 - Steve the Pirate (Looks like the guy from Dodgeball) Stands over the sink-picking his face inches from the mirror. I get it, it's a guys bathroom, it's not a gym however.... See guy 6.
Guy#6 - Uncle Rico, changes every lunch into shorts, goes outside throws a football over a fence, then chases after it like a puppy dog, stretches with kendo-sticks, and sprints laps around the building. He then comes in and uses one of our two precious stalls for 45 minutes trying to make himself not smell the rest of the day. The bathroom smells like a can of axe. He’s our corporate challenge best runner, and is around 60. His kid played D3 ball and was pretty good but not NFL worthy and you’d hear him at his desk falling front offices trying to get an open tryout.
Guy #1 - "The Wiper" Any time the dude drops a #2 he's wiping for :30 to :45 seconds each time. It sounds like you're taking your hands to "pray" and rubbing them up and down. It sounds like sand-paper. I hope he's wiping.
Guy#2 - This guy is always pooping. He's in there for 30 minutes at a time, but every :10 to :15 seconds he rips off a tiny piece/square of TP. Almost like collecting them through his poop. From what it sounds like is he has a stack of TP almost like a stack of playing cards once he's complete. He also wipes with his feet tilted (like his ankles) rolled. Clearly OCD confirmed weird IT guy
Guy#3 - This guy walks in grabs a paper towel. Holds the paper-towel against the wall, almost like he's being frisked. Takes a pee, flushes the toilet with the paper towel and then walks out without washing his hands. Apparently this is fine because he touched nothing? not even his D....
Guy#4 - Harry Potter (looks like him) Brushes his teeth 4 times a day. Weird but not overly-weird.
Guy#5 - Steve the Pirate (Looks like the guy from Dodgeball) Stands over the sink-picking his face inches from the mirror. I get it, it's a guys bathroom, it's not a gym however.... See guy 6.
Guy#6 - Uncle Rico, changes every lunch into shorts, goes outside throws a football over a fence, then chases after it like a puppy dog, stretches with kendo-sticks, and sprints laps around the building. He then comes in and uses one of our two precious stalls for 45 minutes trying to make himself not smell the rest of the day. The bathroom smells like a can of axe. He’s our corporate challenge best runner, and is around 60. His kid played D3 ball and was pretty good but not NFL worthy and you’d hear him at his desk falling front offices trying to get an open tryout.
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