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Trouble getting pregnant? (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter snitwitch
- Start date
Zow
Footballguy
Right. Honestly we approaching this process as $21k will get us a pregnancy. Again, that's just quite a bit of money to pony up when you have always figured in your head that part would be fun and free and, frankly, has been the step you've spent much of your teen to adult life taking drastic, sometimes detrimental steps to avoid.
Zow
Footballguy
Wow.
Unfortunately for us, the two nearer us are still like two hours away. Others would be within three to four hours as well, but frankly those are too far for day trips. We really like this doctor and are meeting with him for the second time this Saturday.
El Floppo
Footballguy
she's still young- no harm taking a few years of being a young couple to travel and destroy brain cells before getting caught up in this stuff.
one thing- I hope you temper your approach to be "21k MIGHT get us a pregnancy... if not, we'll move on to plan B or C with the peace of mind that we did everything we could for plan A"
Zow
Footballguy
We may have to.
But I'll be honest, if it turns into a might get pregnant for 21k, I think at that point I speak up and push for adoption through the foster process.
Zow
Footballguy
Saturday update:
Still kind of reeling from appointment. When we got there it couldn't have started out on a worse footing. We were quoted going into it that the price for the initial in-person appointment would amount to about $300. The procedure itself would be about 14k de up front, and then 3k-6k in meds due after. I had spent the previous couple of days exploring financing, so I had x amount stuck in my head and was trying to become comfortable with that amount and figuring out how we'd manage. I was nervous about that.
So, we walk in early as instructed (my wife insisted on being an hour early for the appointment, which had us waking up at 5 am). Receptionist hands us a bill for $2700. I ask if some of this is included in the procedural cost and we just needed to pay the 300 as indicated. She looks at me funny and quickly realizes we aren't on the same page. I can sense my wife become incredibly anxious and scared because she is so geared up for the appointment and just two minutes in we may need to cancel or reschedule because there's no way we have 2700 liquidated. I recognize the receptionist hasn't done anything wrong and she didn't give us the 300 quote, but it takes a lot to not just smack her because of the emotional gut-punch she just gave us. We go outside to try to not panic and she says she'll get somebody from financing.
We go meet with financing and luckily the new patient billing lady is good. She sits us down and tries to do her normal speech, but I got her off quickly and essentially cross-examine her as to how we got to the point we were. She has a few moments of panic and clearly doesn't know our case, but she handles it well. Eventually we learn that somebody was supposed to call us with a "pre-procedure" fee schedule. Nobody ever did. She indicates it'll be 2700. Despite the desperation I feel from my wife just wanted us to agree, I tell her we simply cannot afford that and didn't budget for us. She tries to see if she can put us on a payment plan with us only owing the 300 that day. My wife really wants to say yes but I explain that it's still an extra 2400 we don't have budgeted for. Finally, with us putting our heads together, we are able to work something out for the day. It also turned out they wanted to run tests we had already done, and with getting those taken away we are able to cut the cost for the up front to about 1500 with us having to pay about 700 that day. This is NOT any part of the 14k we were quoted and, again, 1200 more than we were told. I lock her into putting it in writing that there would be no more pre-procedure fees.
My wife and I talk it over. I'm incredibly irritated at the office's lack of preparation and communication, but ultimately we decide that it's worth 1500 to just know whether we are good candidates for the process. To ensure we can pay for it we agree to cancel the valentine's day weekend trip we had planned for the next weekend (which would have ran us about 1500). I am incredibly upset at the office not so much anymore for their lack of preparation, but for essentially putting me in a position where because of their lack of communication I may have to say no to something my wife wants to go forward as quickly as possible with so badly (I want to have our own child, but not at any cost like I discovered that day that my wife does). We agree and get set to see the doctor.
Thankfully, the doctor was great. He did the whole super invasive examine and even did the "trial run" procedure for free. It was obvious the finance lady had informed the doctor that the office had screwed up, so he was extra caring with my wife which was nice. Good bedside manner and had great confidence so that made us feel much better. Also, he pleasantly informed us that my wife has a ton of eggs so, given our ages, we are great candidates.
My wife is super happy which is great. I was still reeling emotionally though. To be honest, there was a part of me that wished the doctor had just told us this isn't an option for us and, while that day and probably the next couple of weeks would have sucked, we could have moved on to other options. But, it appears we are the ideal candidates for this process since it's so unlikely that we can get pregnant naturally but for ICSE my wife has plenty of good eggs and I should inevitably be able to produce some decent sperm.
They have us wait an hour since we traveled so far so we can see the next-stage procedural lady to explain the procedure. This was on a Saturday and the office had technically closed and the woman came in on her day off, so we did appreciate that. That meeting was a little challenging though because, at that point, my wife was ready to say yes to almost anything but I was still skeptical from the initial issues. Sure enough, this lady (who was also good and straightforward to work with) tells us also something that we didn't know - that the meds should be paid in full up front. This was another gut-punch because I knew it meant we will have to get more financing than I thought. Also, she relayed the office success rate is only about 60-65 percent (in our initial consult with the doctor he essentially told us it was a sure thing given our age and health - a sentiment we trusted at the time). My wife, knowing that this would not sit well with me, tries to rehabilitate the woman and gets her to agree that we make better candidates than normal and does so to an extent. However, I tried to get her to lock into a higher percentage and she (probably correctly and wisely) won't do it. Finally, for us to get started on the next cycle we need to have them paid in a week or so.
So, after five hours in the office my wife and I leave with sort of differing emotions. She's super stoked that we can do ICSE/IVF. I'm scared ####less at the idea of spending 20k on something that has a 1/3 chance of causing us a lot of disappointment. She's stoked that we have this option and indicates that she 100% wants to do it and says that her desire to carry our own child has peaked. My wife and I never fight and we weren't close to doing so or anything like that, but the differing emotions was a new experience. I was pretty stressed out the rest of the day. Kept thinking how the expected value on this operation is 30k... the same as going through a private adoption. And then I stared at this gorgeous country club my wife and I could probably join if we chose never to have kids.
We got home on Sunday and my wife, who is brilliant at these types of things, sends me to go play golf. When I get home she has our budget all planned and indicates where we can cut expenses (and, most of those are for things more for her) to make it work. I look it and agree, and we both feel much better about it. So, it looks like this is definitely going to happen.
Still kind of reeling from appointment. When we got there it couldn't have started out on a worse footing. We were quoted going into it that the price for the initial in-person appointment would amount to about $300. The procedure itself would be about 14k de up front, and then 3k-6k in meds due after. I had spent the previous couple of days exploring financing, so I had x amount stuck in my head and was trying to become comfortable with that amount and figuring out how we'd manage. I was nervous about that.
So, we walk in early as instructed (my wife insisted on being an hour early for the appointment, which had us waking up at 5 am). Receptionist hands us a bill for $2700. I ask if some of this is included in the procedural cost and we just needed to pay the 300 as indicated. She looks at me funny and quickly realizes we aren't on the same page. I can sense my wife become incredibly anxious and scared because she is so geared up for the appointment and just two minutes in we may need to cancel or reschedule because there's no way we have 2700 liquidated. I recognize the receptionist hasn't done anything wrong and she didn't give us the 300 quote, but it takes a lot to not just smack her because of the emotional gut-punch she just gave us. We go outside to try to not panic and she says she'll get somebody from financing.
We go meet with financing and luckily the new patient billing lady is good. She sits us down and tries to do her normal speech, but I got her off quickly and essentially cross-examine her as to how we got to the point we were. She has a few moments of panic and clearly doesn't know our case, but she handles it well. Eventually we learn that somebody was supposed to call us with a "pre-procedure" fee schedule. Nobody ever did. She indicates it'll be 2700. Despite the desperation I feel from my wife just wanted us to agree, I tell her we simply cannot afford that and didn't budget for us. She tries to see if she can put us on a payment plan with us only owing the 300 that day. My wife really wants to say yes but I explain that it's still an extra 2400 we don't have budgeted for. Finally, with us putting our heads together, we are able to work something out for the day. It also turned out they wanted to run tests we had already done, and with getting those taken away we are able to cut the cost for the up front to about 1500 with us having to pay about 700 that day. This is NOT any part of the 14k we were quoted and, again, 1200 more than we were told. I lock her into putting it in writing that there would be no more pre-procedure fees.
My wife and I talk it over. I'm incredibly irritated at the office's lack of preparation and communication, but ultimately we decide that it's worth 1500 to just know whether we are good candidates for the process. To ensure we can pay for it we agree to cancel the valentine's day weekend trip we had planned for the next weekend (which would have ran us about 1500). I am incredibly upset at the office not so much anymore for their lack of preparation, but for essentially putting me in a position where because of their lack of communication I may have to say no to something my wife wants to go forward as quickly as possible with so badly (I want to have our own child, but not at any cost like I discovered that day that my wife does). We agree and get set to see the doctor.
Thankfully, the doctor was great. He did the whole super invasive examine and even did the "trial run" procedure for free. It was obvious the finance lady had informed the doctor that the office had screwed up, so he was extra caring with my wife which was nice. Good bedside manner and had great confidence so that made us feel much better. Also, he pleasantly informed us that my wife has a ton of eggs so, given our ages, we are great candidates.
My wife is super happy which is great. I was still reeling emotionally though. To be honest, there was a part of me that wished the doctor had just told us this isn't an option for us and, while that day and probably the next couple of weeks would have sucked, we could have moved on to other options. But, it appears we are the ideal candidates for this process since it's so unlikely that we can get pregnant naturally but for ICSE my wife has plenty of good eggs and I should inevitably be able to produce some decent sperm.
They have us wait an hour since we traveled so far so we can see the next-stage procedural lady to explain the procedure. This was on a Saturday and the office had technically closed and the woman came in on her day off, so we did appreciate that. That meeting was a little challenging though because, at that point, my wife was ready to say yes to almost anything but I was still skeptical from the initial issues. Sure enough, this lady (who was also good and straightforward to work with) tells us also something that we didn't know - that the meds should be paid in full up front. This was another gut-punch because I knew it meant we will have to get more financing than I thought. Also, she relayed the office success rate is only about 60-65 percent (in our initial consult with the doctor he essentially told us it was a sure thing given our age and health - a sentiment we trusted at the time). My wife, knowing that this would not sit well with me, tries to rehabilitate the woman and gets her to agree that we make better candidates than normal and does so to an extent. However, I tried to get her to lock into a higher percentage and she (probably correctly and wisely) won't do it. Finally, for us to get started on the next cycle we need to have them paid in a week or so.
So, after five hours in the office my wife and I leave with sort of differing emotions. She's super stoked that we can do ICSE/IVF. I'm scared ####less at the idea of spending 20k on something that has a 1/3 chance of causing us a lot of disappointment. She's stoked that we have this option and indicates that she 100% wants to do it and says that her desire to carry our own child has peaked. My wife and I never fight and we weren't close to doing so or anything like that, but the differing emotions was a new experience. I was pretty stressed out the rest of the day. Kept thinking how the expected value on this operation is 30k... the same as going through a private adoption. And then I stared at this gorgeous country club my wife and I could probably join if we chose never to have kids.
We got home on Sunday and my wife, who is brilliant at these types of things, sends me to go play golf. When I get home she has our budget all planned and indicates where we can cut expenses (and, most of those are for things more for her) to make it work. I look it and agree, and we both feel much better about it. So, it looks like this is definitely going to happen.
Last edited by a moderator:
fred_1_15301
Footballguy
Now just think how much it will cost after the kid is bornSaturday update:
Still kind of reeling from appointment. When we got there it couldn't have started out on a worse footing. We were quoted going into it that the price for the initial in-person appointment would amount to about $300. The procedure itself would be about 14k de up front, and then 3k-6k in meds due after. I had spent the previous couple of days exploring financing, so I had x amount stuck in my head and was trying to become comfortable with that amount and figuring out how we'd manage. I was nervous about that.
So, we walk in early as instructed (my wife insisted on being an hour early for the appointment, which had us waking up at 5 am). Receptionist hands us a bill for $2700. I ask if some of this is included in the procedural cost and we just needed to pay the 300 as indicated. She looks at me funny and quickly realizes we aren't on the same page. I can sense my wife become incredibly anxious and scared because she is so geared up for the appointment and just two minutes in we may need to cancel or reschedule because there's no way we have 2700 liquidated. I recognize the receptionist hasn't done anything wrong and she didn't give us the 300 quote, but it takes a lot to not just smack her because of the emotional gut-punch she just gave us. We go outside to try to not panic and she says she'll get somebody from financing.
We go meet with financing and luckily the new patient billing lady is good. She sits us down and tries to do her normal speech, but I got her off quickly and essentially cross-examine her as to how we got to the point we were. She has a few moments of panic and clearly doesn't know our case, but she handles it well. Eventually we learn that somebody was supposed to call us with a "pre-procedure" fee schedule. Nobody ever did. She indicates it'll be 2700. Despite the desperation I feel from my wife just wanted us to agree, I tell her we simply cannot afford that and didn't budget for us. She tries to see if she can put us on a payment plan with us only owing the 300 that day. My wife really wants to say yes but I explain that it's still an extra 2400 we don't have budgeted for. Finally, with us putting our heads together, we are able to work something out for the day. It also turned out they wanted to run tests we had already done, and with getting those taken away we are able to cut the cost for the up front to about 1500 with us having to pay about 700 that day. This is NOT any part of the 14k we were quoted and, again, 1200 more than we were told. I lock her into putting it in writing that there would be no more pre-procedure fees.
My wife and I talk it over. I'm incredibly irritated at the office's lack of preparation and communication, but ultimately we decide that it's worth 1500 to just know whether we are good candidates for the process. To ensure we can pay for it we agree to cancel the valentine's day weekend trip we had planned for the next weekend (which would have ran us about 1500). I am incredibly upset at the office not so much anymore for their lack of preparation, but for essentially putting me in a position where because of their lack of communication I may have to say no to something my wife wants to go forward as quickly as possible with so badly (I want to have our own child, but not at any cost like I discovered that day that my wife does). We agree and get set to see the doctor.
Thankfully, the doctor was great. He did the whole super invasive examine and even did the "trial run" procedure for free. It was obvious the finance lady had informed the doctor that the office had screwed up, so he was extra caring with my wife which was nice. Good bedside manner and had great confidence so that made us feel much better. Also, he pleasantly informed us that my wife has a ton of eggs so, given our ages, we are great candidates.
My wife is super happy which is great. I was still reeling emotionally though. To be honest, there was a part of me that wished the doctor had just told us this isn't an option for us and, while that day and probably the next couple of weeks would have sucked, we could have moved on to other options. But, it appears we are the ideal candidates for this process since it's so unlikely that we can get pregnant naturally but for ICSE my wife has plenty of good eggs and I should inevitably be able to produce some decent sperm.
They have us wait an hour since we traveled so far so we can see the next-stage procedural lady to explain the procedure. This was on a Saturday and the office had technically closed and the woman came in on her day off, so we did appreciate that. That meeting was a little challenging though because, at that point, my wife was ready to say yes to almost anything but I was still skeptical from the initial issues. Sure enough, this lady (who was also good and straightforward to work with) tells us also something that we didn't know - that the meds should be paid in full up front. This was another gut-punch because I knew it meant we will have to get more financing than I thought. Also, she relayed the office success rate is only about 60-65 percent (in our initial consult with the doctor he essentially told us it was a sure thing given our age and health - a sentiment we trusted at the time). My wife, knowing that this would not sit well with me, tries to rehabilitate the woman and gets her to agree that we make better candidates than normal and does so to an extent. However, I tried to get her to lock into a higher percentage and she (probably correctly and wisely) won't do it. Finally, for us to get started on the next cycle we need to have them paid in a week or so.
So, after five hours in the office my wife and I leave with sort of differing emotions. She's super stoked that we can do ICSE/IVF. I'm scared ####less at the idea of spending 20k on something that has a 1/3 chance of causing us a lot of disappointment. She's stoked that we have this option and indicates that she 100% wants to do it and says that her desire to carry our own child has peaked. My wife and I never fight and we weren't close to doing so or anything like that, but the differing emotions was a new experience. I was pretty stressed out the rest of the day. Kept thinking how the expected value on this operation is 30k... the same as going through a private adoption. And then I stared at this gorgeous country club my wife and I could probably join if we chose never to have kids.
We got home on Sunday and my wife, who is brilliant at these types of things, sends me to go play golf. When I get home she has our budget all planned and indicates where we can cut expenses (and, most of those are for things more for her) to make it work. I look it and agree, and we both feel much better about it. So, it looks like this is definitely going to happen.
. Anyways, it seems like you and the wife are in a fairly good frame of mind (especially the wife). This is extremely important. That 60-65% success rate is actually very good. You have to keep in mind that this is the success rate per cycle. There is a good chance that you'll have more than one cycle so your overall rate of success will probably be significantly higher than that. Your wife is still pretty young so that also puts you in the high probability of success "bucket". There is a reason why your doctor is so confident. He's probably seen many couples similar to your situation and is convinced that it will work for you guys. There are no guarantees but I think you're in a really good position 
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Wooderson
Fight The Power
Oh boy I feel you Woz. I was once where you were. Wanted kind but also had the cost always in my head. My wife was dead set on doing ISCE/IVF she was so happy and confident that it would work. The way she looked at me during those times I just couldn't say no.
Took us 2 separate times but we have a great set of twins to show for it. Ill never spend money this wisely again. I love having our kids and my wife is such a fantastic mother.
They chance of it working or not is scary. Believe me when I saw the stats my first reaction was how can they run a racket like this. But I finaly decided work or not we needed to give this option a try.
Oh and go for twins it's like two for the price of one. At least I felt I stuck it to them in that way. ?
Took us 2 separate times but we have a great set of twins to show for it. Ill never spend money this wisely again. I love having our kids and my wife is such a fantastic mother.
They chance of it working or not is scary. Believe me when I saw the stats my first reaction was how can they run a racket like this. But I finaly decided work or not we needed to give this option a try.
Oh and go for twins it's like two for the price of one. At least I felt I stuck it to them in that way. ?
Zow
Footballguy
Combination of me having too many dysfunctional swimmers and she, despite producing plenty of eggs, isn't producing progesterone to the levels needed that a fertilized egg would attach to the uterine walls and stay attached upon inception.
Zow
Footballguy
But that's the thing, I've been to Vegas so many times that there's no way I'd ever blow 20k in Vegas. Not to sound conceited, but I'm too smart for that. It's like how I've been smart enough to network into jobs to make enough money to where we can afford a baby and my wife not have to work when we have the kid. While I recognize that is nobody's fault and nothing we could control or can change, it's essentially a really bad beat. I've been two-outed enough to know what that's like. Except never on this big of scale where I have made the right moves in life with my chips to set us up to be financially set and free to have kids but now chance just says #### you and causes me to lose a good chunk of my stack. I'm still struggling with how big of a bad best this is, frustrated that I'll have to continue to work the longer hours while now having to sacrifice some of the nice things those long hours enabled us to do. I feel like dentist after watching an upset in the super bowl.
Zow
Footballguy
Haha wow that had to be quite the rollercoaster. Especially after it didn't work out the first time. So awesome then that you got twins!
The Commish
Footballguy
Seems like you have the easy part out of the way. CongratsSaturday update:
Still kind of reeling from appointment. When we got there it couldn't have started out on a worse footing. We were quoted going into it that the price for the initial in-person appointment would amount to about $300. The procedure itself would be about 14k de up front, and then 3k-6k in meds due after. I had spent the previous couple of days exploring financing, so I had x amount stuck in my head and was trying to become comfortable with that amount and figuring out how we'd manage. I was nervous about that.
So, we walk in early as instructed (my wife insisted on being an hour early for the appointment, which had us waking up at 5 am). Receptionist hands us a bill for $2700. I ask if some of this is included in the procedural cost and we just needed to pay the 300 as indicated. She looks at me funny and quickly realizes we aren't on the same page. I can sense my wife become incredibly anxious and scared because she is so geared up for the appointment and just two minutes in we may need to cancel or reschedule because there's no way we have 2700 liquidated. I recognize the receptionist hasn't done anything wrong and she didn't give us the 300 quote, but it takes a lot to not just smack her because of the emotional gut-punch she just gave us. We go outside to try to not panic and she says she'll get somebody from financing.
We go meet with financing and luckily the new patient billing lady is good. She sits us down and tries to do her normal speech, but I got her off quickly and essentially cross-examine her as to how we got to the point we were. She has a few moments of panic and clearly doesn't know our case, but she handles it well. Eventually we learn that somebody was supposed to call us with a "pre-procedure" fee schedule. Nobody ever did. She indicates it'll be 2700. Despite the desperation I feel from my wife just wanted us to agree, I tell her we simply cannot afford that and didn't budget for us. She tries to see if she can put us on a payment plan with us only owing the 300 that day. My wife really wants to say yes but I explain that it's still an extra 2400 we don't have budgeted for. Finally, with us putting our heads together, we are able to work something out for the day. It also turned out they wanted to run tests we had already done, and with getting those taken away we are able to cut the cost for the up front to about 1500 with us having to pay about 700 that day. This is NOT any part of the 14k we were quoted and, again, 1200 more than we were told. I lock her into putting it in writing that there would be no more pre-procedure fees.
My wife and I talk it over. I'm incredibly irritated at the office's lack of preparation and communication, but ultimately we decide that it's worth 1500 to just know whether we are good candidates for the process. To ensure we can pay for it we agree to cancel the valentine's day weekend trip we had planned for the next weekend (which would have ran us about 1500). I am incredibly upset at the office not so much anymore for their lack of preparation, but for essentially putting me in a position where because of their lack of communication I may have to say no to something my wife wants to go forward as quickly as possible with so badly (I want to have our own child, but not at any cost like I discovered that day that my wife does). We agree and get set to see the doctor.
Thankfully, the doctor was great. He did the whole super invasive examine and even did the "trial run" procedure for free. It was obvious the finance lady had informed the doctor that the office had screwed up, so he was extra caring with my wife which was nice. Good bedside manner and had great confidence so that made us feel much better. Also, he pleasantly informed us that my wife has a ton of eggs so, given our ages, we are great candidates.
My wife is super happy which is great. I was still reeling emotionally though. To be honest, there was a part of me that wished the doctor had just told us this isn't an option for us and, while that day and probably the next couple of weeks would have sucked, we could have moved on to other options. But, it appears we are the ideal candidates for this process since it's so unlikely that we can get pregnant naturally but for ICSE my wife has plenty of good eggs and I should inevitably be able to produce some decent sperm.
They have us wait an hour since we traveled so far so we can see the next-stage procedural lady to explain the procedure. This was on a Saturday and the office had technically closed and the woman came in on her day off, so we did appreciate that. That meeting was a little challenging though because, at that point, my wife was ready to say yes to almost anything but I was still skeptical from the initial issues. Sure enough, this lady (who was also good and straightforward to work with) tells us also something that we didn't know - that the meds should be paid in full up front. This was another gut-punch because I knew it meant we will have to get more financing than I thought. Also, she relayed the office success rate is only about 60-65 percent (in our initial consult with the doctor he essentially told us it was a sure thing given our age and health - a sentiment we trusted at the time). My wife, knowing that this would not sit well with me, tries to rehabilitate the woman and gets her to agree that we make better candidates than normal and does so to an extent. However, I tried to get her to lock into a higher percentage and she (probably correctly and wisely) won't do it. Finally, for us to get started on the next cycle we need to have them paid in a week or so.
So, after five hours in the office my wife and I leave with sort of differing emotions. She's super stoked that we can do ICSE/IVF. I'm scared ####less at the idea of spending 20k on something that has a 1/3 chance of causing us a lot of disappointment. She's stoked that we have this option and indicates that she 100% wants to do it and says that her desire to carry our own child has peaked. My wife and I never fight and we weren't close to doing so or anything like that, but the differing emotions was a new experience. I was pretty stressed out the rest of the day. Kept thinking how the expected value on this operation is 30k... the same as going through a private adoption. And then I stared at this gorgeous country club my wife and I could probably join if we chose never to have kids.
We got home on Sunday and my wife, who is brilliant at these types of things, sends me to go play golf. When I get home she has our budget all planned and indicates where we can cut expenses (and, most of those are for things more for her) to make it work. I look it and agree, and we both feel much better about it. So, it looks like this is definitely going to happen.
Now on to the emotional roller coaster. GL Woz...we're here for you.
fred_1_15301
Footballguy
I'm not sure I agree with Wood that you should go for twins. At a minimum, I think it's a very serious decision that you and your wife will need to discuss (assuming you're even in a position to transfer more than 1). Twins will have a higher probability of adding complications to the pregnancy and birth. Additionally, I can tell you that my wife and I considered this but we are actually happy that we did not end up with twins. We were in a similar boat as you (i.e. we felt like we did everything right, made good money, had a lot of love and were just dealt a bad beat). We had thought about going for twins to just "get it out of the way". However, I'm glad we decided not to. Watching the child born was one of the best feelings in the world but extremely overwhelming. Once we left the hospital (and the nurses weren't there to help us anymore), we both just felt a little lost and slightly depressed. Taking care of a newborn is a lot of work. I can't imagine what it would be like to take care of 2 as a first time parent. Regardless, I'm not telling you not to do it. I'm just saying that it should be a serious discussion when you get to that stage.
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El Floppo
Footballguy
Woz... congrats on getting the first step out of the way and for navigating dip#### back-of-office staff successfully. It's astonishing how dumb the support staff of such smart, capable doctors can be- sounds like you've got a good grip on advocating for yourself- nice.
I looked for it in here, but it might be in the thread you started- I'd swear somebody posted that they can get you discounted meds. HIT THAT UP.
It sounds really promising gb- best of luck... and I hope you follow the advize that this will never be a guarantee- remove that expectation and stress associated with it as early as possible and I think you'll have a much better time navigating this (even though it sucks accepting that you're possibly writing off a large chunk of change).
GL!
I looked for it in here, but it might be in the thread you started- I'd swear somebody posted that they can get you discounted meds. HIT THAT UP.
It sounds really promising gb- best of luck... and I hope you follow the advize that this will never be a guarantee- remove that expectation and stress associated with it as early as possible and I think you'll have a much better time navigating this (even though it sucks accepting that you're possibly writing off a large chunk of change).
GL!
The Commish
Footballguy
Our situation was similar. The "nest" itself was fine. My swimmers and the environment my wife was creating for attaching weren't ideal. I am fairly confident you'll be fine in this one. 99% of the battle is getting swimmer and egg together. The drugs will help create the necessary environment and the doctor planting the embryos make it very likely that it'll happen.
fatguyinalittlecoat
Footballguy
I think you have it backwards. Implanting one embryo makes non-identical twins impossible. Maybe yout doctor doesn't do it, but it's physically possible to implant multiple embryos that have been fertilized with ICSI. Back when I was going through this a long time ago we were shoving like 4 or 5 embryos up in there. I know things have changed since then.
Virtually everyone's life has good beats and bad beats. It sounds like you've got a lot of good stuff going on Woz, try not to dwell on the money too much.
Zow
Footballguy
Yeah I think I have it backwards. It's impossible for us to have non-identical twins.
And I hear you on the money. I'll get over it. It's just got me frustrated. I've worked really hard the last few years to give us a nice living and now, through pure chance, it's gotta get scaled back.
And I hear you on the money. I'll get over it. It's just got me frustrated. I've worked really hard the last few years to give us a nice living and now, through pure chance, it's gotta get scaled back.
SeveredHorseHeads
Footballguy
GL Woz. My wife and I are going through the IVF process now but luckily our insurance covers it. I can't imagine the added stress ponying up 30k would add. While success is uncertain, I think it's important to your wife that you pursued all avenues (within reason). I would think that if you didn't, those would be regrets that would linger for you both. Best of luck and try not to sweat things you don't have direct control of.
CletiusMaximus
Footballguy
Good luck Woz. Its a stressful thing, and the financial aspects of it are very strange. Its hard not to use common gambling jargon when talking about it, but for me the reality was essentially wagering a (for us) very large amount of cash on a very low probability with a massive, unquantifiable pay-off if it hits. My wife was 44 at the time. Our daughter is now almost 4.
Zow
Footballguy
Wow that's awesome. Congrats on it working. I definitely like the way you approached that conceptually. I think what I can't get around is the value of conception. The going market rate for inception is currently zero. For the past decade plus I've paid money (albeit small sums) to essentially ensure conception didn't occur. It's hard to now assign an unlimited positive value to conception. I can do that with a baby, but for some reason I can't get there with conception when we can get paid to go through the foster to adopt route. I need to start focusing on the cost being for the value of having our own biological child that my wife can carry.
The Commish
Footballguy
Was the hardest thing for me to wrap my head around. For me, I had to stop thinking about it in any way other than the joy/hope it was bringing to my wife. That's the only way I could get through that part. However, it was slightly easier for me as we were given essentially four chances. Two chances with "fresh" embryos and two chances with frozen. If they didn't work, we'd get about 85% of our money back. Even with that "guarantee" it was really tough for me to swallow ponying up the money. All I can tell you is that once the child is here, the money doesn't matter.
Ramsay Hunt Experience
Footballguy
That is likely true in Woz's case considering his wife's age, but not for most IVF couples over 35. Or more accurately, for most couples where the female partner is over 35. There, most of the battle is getting genetically normal fertilized embryos that won't miscarry. My wife and I had six failed cycles. We had a fertilized embryos in every one of them. We had a positive early pregnancy test in all but one of them.
mlball77
Footballguy
I have a fraternal twin brother, and now my wife and I have fraternal twin boys (just turned 4!). We used IVF and are so very thankful it worked. Not an easy road, though, regardless of outcome. I genuinely wish those going this route the best of luck and lots of patience + positive attitudes.
The Commish
Footballguy
Were the eggs harvested before she was 35 or after? This is a good point regardless....just wondering. Our doctor has said that it matters how old the mother/father were when the embryo was created more than how old they are when they are implanted.Ramsay Hunt Experience said:
avoiding injuries
Footballguy
My newest daughter turned one month yesterday. We had our first daughter almost 5 years ago on the first try. We had to do IVF for the 2nd. Unexplained infertility.
Good luck guys.
Good luck guys.
TobiasFunke
Footballguy
Since this thread is back on page 1, here's an update on my status: my wife is pregnant again. This time we actually used birth control and somehow still got an unplanned pregnancy. So to recap:
Child #1: Doctors tell us there's no way we can have a baby without assistance. We try IVF three times and fail each time. Doctors tell my wife her eggs are low quality and we shouldn't bother trying any more. We start the adoption process before my wife decides she's comfortable with an egg donor, which succeeds on the second attempt. Took about three years, countless shots and medical procedures and painful conversations to become parents.
Child #2: Having been assured we can't have a baby on our own or even with IVF, we resume marital relations. Wife gets pregnant. No way we ###### more than ten times post-pregnancy before she got pregnant.
Child #3: After child #2 we actually have to consider birth control for the first time. We employ some. Wife gets pregnant anyway. No way we ###### more than five times post-pregnancy this time around.
So in conclusion: I hope this helps people keep the faith. Good things can and do happen even after years of hopelessness. We thought one child was an amazing miracle; two years later I feel like Nathan Arizona. Also apparently my wife's reproductive system needed a jump start, like the battery of an old car or something.
Child #1: Doctors tell us there's no way we can have a baby without assistance. We try IVF three times and fail each time. Doctors tell my wife her eggs are low quality and we shouldn't bother trying any more. We start the adoption process before my wife decides she's comfortable with an egg donor, which succeeds on the second attempt. Took about three years, countless shots and medical procedures and painful conversations to become parents.
Child #2: Having been assured we can't have a baby on our own or even with IVF, we resume marital relations. Wife gets pregnant. No way we ###### more than ten times post-pregnancy before she got pregnant.
Child #3: After child #2 we actually have to consider birth control for the first time. We employ some. Wife gets pregnant anyway. No way we ###### more than five times post-pregnancy this time around.
So in conclusion: I hope this helps people keep the faith. Good things can and do happen even after years of hopelessness. We thought one child was an amazing miracle; two years later I feel like Nathan Arizona. Also apparently my wife's reproductive system needed a jump start, like the battery of an old car or something.
TobiasFunke
Footballguy
We've called the fertility center we used to try to set up a consult and figure what the heck happened- they were great and have a great rep so it's doubtful they screwed up or something, we were just curious. They told us something like this is not that uncommon, and some internet searches confirmed that it's not really that unusual once you get that first bun in the oven by any means necessary. So good luck to everyone else trying to get that ball rolling; maybe you'll even get more than you bargained for once you do.
El Floppo
Footballguy
this happened to our good friends (that recommended us to our fertility docs)- had two IVFs and then when they assumed they were all done... *whoops*
Zow
Footballguy
If they did "screw up" feel free to relay how exactly as that screw up may cost less.
Zow
Footballguy
n error occurredYou have reached your quota of positive votes for the day
Ramsay Hunt Experience
Footballguy
After. Your doctor is right (although I don't understand why you wouldn't freeze fertilized embryos instead of just eggs). Embryos from "old" eggs are much, much more likely to be aneuploid. Which is why I wish that I had shelled out for genetic testing of the embryos in the first cycles that we did.
But we'll see how I feel in a month with a squawling ball of need on my hands.
El Floppo
Footballguy
Ramsay Hunt Experience
Footballguy
A little less than that, yes.wait... you guys are due in a month?
The Z Machine
Footballguy
GLLLLL Woz. I too did ICSE, and my twins are now talking, running, and writing on the walls.
Not having coverage for fertility treatments is terrible. I'm glad we only paid 20% of the cost. Remember that if you spend enough on medical bills on one year you can deduct some on your taxes. If you do the IVF this month and it takes, she'll deliver in November so you'll have plenty of medical bills in 2015.
Oh and I'd pay 10x what I did to have my kids. You won't even think about that when you're stuck at home watching curious George instead of at the bar drinking and watching sports.
Not having coverage for fertility treatments is terrible. I'm glad we only paid 20% of the cost. Remember that if you spend enough on medical bills on one year you can deduct some on your taxes. If you do the IVF this month and it takes, she'll deliver in November so you'll have plenty of medical bills in 2015.
Oh and I'd pay 10x what I did to have my kids. You won't even think about that when you're stuck at home watching curious George instead of at the bar drinking and watching sports.
The Z Machine
Footballguy
Oh, and in still have a bunch of meds. Let me know if you want me to check if anything isn't expired.
Zow
Footballguy
Absolutely.
