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A-List Celebrity To Be Outed As A Sexual Predator (1 Viewer)

Everyone has flaws in their personalities. We as humans manipulate situations all the time to get outcomes we desire. Sometimes the manipulation is very conscious sometimes not. No relationship is perfect. There will always be situations or entire relationships that are unhealthy and it can go both ways. You can’t police the world towards perfect behavior. This is getting out of control imo. Rant to your friends and family and lean on them for support... that’s how you deal with a relationship like she described. You don’t post an article and make news of it. God forbid my ex wife were to do that and I was famous. Bottom line is we all have personality flaws and each of our relationships with other individuals can bring out any combination of outcomes. Human brain is complex and personalities just as complex. 
Sounds like you don't treat the women you are with very well if that's the case.

 
Each one of these guys is the answer to the question "which one is not like the others" -- 

Cosby is different because he drugged his victims and, in theory, did not threaten them or force them to have sex.

Weinstein is different because he's the only one on the list who actually blackmailed and threatened women into sex-for-employment.

Rose is different because he never actually engaged in a sex act with any of the women he harassed.

CK is different because he "only" masturbated.

Hardwick is different because his girlfriend gave consent.

But every one of them is on the sexual predator spectrum.
Cosby is a predator

Weinstein is a predator

Rose is a predator

CK is a predator

Hardwick is NOT a predator. A jerk? Yes. But he hasn't done anything to put him on the predator spectrum. 

Abuse <> Predator. HTH. 

 
I think there was some mental abuse going on in the relationship, definitely no sexual abuse and to ruin his reputation because of their bad/toxic relationship is going too far IMO.

 
Marital relations between man and woman, only one of whom is truly interested. The other party just lies there like said aquatic life form and allows the act to proceed without being truly engaged. Trying to describe the other probably won't fly.




I'll give it a go:  Picture two cats, facing away from each other, tails straight up in the air and their buttonholes are locked in together in mortal combat for a sustained period of time.  
 
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I think there was some mental abuse going on in the relationship, definitely no sexual abuse and to ruin his reputation because of their bad/toxic relationship is going too far IMO.
I guess we disagree on what "some" mental abuse is and what falls into the sexual abuse spectrum.  

 
I think there was some mental abuse going on in the relationship, definitely no sexual abuse and to ruin his reputation because of their bad/toxic relationship is going too far IMO.
you could make the argument that there is some type of mental abuse in any prolonged relationship 

 
I think a lot of what is going on is important to the discussion as we hack our way through this and try to get some nuance into the conversation.   For so long all of this stuff has gone unchecked, but I agree that in a way the pendulum has swung too far the other way.   Now we are getting people fired and dragged into public for one tweet, one comment, a hand on the back, whatever and that is too far on the other way.  What we need is to keep having these discussions and get this a bit more in the middle as we are able tell the difference and act accordingly to what Franken did vs. what Cosby did or what people are thinking is a flawed relationship vs an emotionally abusive one.  

During this process there have been people that have lost their jobs and reputations over less than what this guy was doing.  Not sure why people are having such an issue with this one (besides that the thread with Cosby and Wenstein isn't the best format to talk about this particular case).  

 
Dykstra appears to suffer significant codependency issues and Hardwick looks like a prime example of someone with NPD.  They both need help.  His behavior, while in it's own category of awful, does not really fit the thread, though.

 
I personally find the last few pages of this thread to be very uncomfortable and very telling.    Hardwick and Dykstra were together for 3 years---no 2-3 page document from either party is going to paint an entire picture of what was going on.   The entire reason why Dykstra released what she did is because she obviously wanted to vent some things--but there was also motivation to paint Hardwick in the most terrible light possible.  I don't doubt her validity---but I absolutely doubt that there is a way that the entire landscape/picture of a 3 year relationship can be accurately filtered down to a few pages---especially when the person releasing the pages has no motivation to highlight any of the positive attributes of the partner he/she chose to spend those 3 years with.

 Effectively what I'm saying is this--her claims might be and probably are true---but they are absolutely incomplete to anybody that is not personally close enough to the both of them to know the full picture of what their relationship was.  Her claims are disturbing---but it's also disturbing that much of the public has zero problem concretely taking a position labeling somebody as an abuser/predator with information that is obviously incomplete.   I'm not saying that people shouldn't be entitled to gut instincts based on limited information--but I do think it's a dangerous world when the public finds zero problem labeling people as predators/abusers with information that was purposely released in an incomplete and one sided manner.   

 
Regretting the decision to begin a sexual relationship with another person is completely different than being a victim of a predator. 

The decision to begin a sexual relationship with another person may eventually lead to abuse, and that abuse may be the reason for the regret, but again it's not being a victim of a predator. It's being a victim of abuse.

Just because abuse that occurs after a consensual sexual relationship began may be as a result of one partner's authority or power over the other, that does not make the other person a predator. It's the authority or power over someone else that is being used to begin, or attempt to begin, the sexual relationship that is predatory. 

A victim of a predator is someone who was compelled to begin an unwelcome sexual relationship via the predatory's authority or power over them. 

 
Sounds like you don't treat the women you are with very well if that's the case.
F you. We live in a world where people are now labeled and defined based on a sentence?! JFC. I don’t know many ex partners who would say kind words about their ex. That was my point. Watch where you sling mud #######. You don’t know anything about me, how I treat women or the trauma/abuse I have suffered in life so just stop with your god complex. 

I’d like to get a full life transcript from all you mo fos who appear to be perfect in your daily lives. Apparently a whole bunch of you are absolute saints in all of your relationships and how you treat others at all times with not one blemmish in your history.  Gimme a ####### break!

Most of us are very fortunate to not have the liability of fame holding us accountable to demonstrate perfect behavior every minute of every day.  I’m not saying Hardwick’s behavior, if true, is ordinary or right but it’s definitely not sexual abuse and it’s certainly not worthy of being made public and ruining his life in many ways. Again, consider for a moment what it’s like to have everything you have done in life - right or wrong - plastered all over the internet and media outlets. Us normal folks don’t have to worry about that and NOBODY lives a perfect life. Get over yourselves. 

 
F you. We live in a world where people are now labeled and defined based on a sentence?! JFC. I don’t know many ex partners who would say kind words about their ex. That was my point. Watch where you sling mud #######. You don’t know anything about me, how I treat women or the trauma/abuse I have suffered in life so just stop with your god complex. 

I’d like to get a full life transcript from all you mo fos who appear to be perfect in your daily lives. Apparently a whole bunch of you are absolute saints in all of your relationships and how you treat others at all times with not one blemmish in your history.  Gimme a ####### break!

Most of us are very fortunate to not have the liability of fame holding us accountable to demonstrate perfect behavior every minute of every day.  I’m not saying Hardwick’s behavior, if true, is ordinary or right but it’s definitely not sexual abuse and it’s certainly not worthy of being made public and ruining his life in many ways. Again, consider for a moment what it’s like to have everything you have done in life - right or wrong - plastered all over the internet and media outlets. Us normal folks don’t have to worry about that and NOBODY lives a perfect life. Get over yourselves. 
You seem angry. Maybe switch to decaf? :shrug:  

 
Regretting the decision to begin a sexual relationship with another person is completely different than being a victim of a predator. 

The decision to begin a sexual relationship with another person may eventually lead to abuse, and that abuse may be the reason for the regret, but again it's not being a victim of a predator. It's being a victim of abuse.

Just because abuse that occurs after a consensual sexual relationship began may be as a result of one partner's authority or power over the other, that does not make the other person a predator. It's the authority or power over someone else that is being used to begin, or attempt to begin, the sexual relationship that is predatory. 

A victim of a predator is someone who was compelled to begin an unwelcome sexual relationship via the predatory's authority or power over them. 
I can get behind this as long as this definition includes someone who thought they were consensually entering a relationship, yet the "predator" was actually manipulating their victim into the relationship.  If a victim thought they were consensually entering the relationship, that doesn't exclude the other person from being a predator.

I'm not saying that has anything to do with the relationship currently being discussed. I just think "compelled" is a tricky word to define the start of the relationship.

 
I think there was some mental abuse going on in the relationship, definitely no sexual abuse and to ruin his reputation because of their bad/toxic relationship is going too far IMO.
I agree. But if it means he is on TV less that is a huge bonus.

 
I can get behind this as long as this definition includes someone who thought they were consensually entering a relationship, yet the "predator" was actually manipulating their victim into the relationship.  If a victim thought they were consensually entering the relationship, that doesn't exclude the other person from being a predator.

I'm not saying that has anything to do with the relationship currently being discussed. I just think "compelled" is a tricky word to define the start of the relationship.
I'm fine using different wording than "compelled". The point is that the beginning of the relationship would not have occurred if it weren't for the predatory using their existing position of power/authority over the victim. 

That's not to say that all relationships that began when one had a position of power/authority of the other are predatory. Predatory means there is a causation between the position of power/authority and the beginning of the sexual relationship, such that the sexual relationship would not have occurred at all without the position of power/authority. 

And I agree that the victim may not know they are being manipulated by the predator. 

 
Regretting the decision to begin a sexual relationship with another person is completely different than being a victim of a predator. 

The decision to begin a sexual relationship with another person may eventually lead to abuse, and that abuse may be the reason for the regret, but again it's not being a victim of a predator. It's being a victim of abuse.

Just because abuse that occurs after a consensual sexual relationship began may be as a result of one partner's authority or power over the other, that does not make the other person a predator. It's the authority or power over someone else that is being used to begin, or attempt to begin, the sexual relationship that is predatory. 

A victim of a predator is someone who was compelled to begin an unwelcome sexual relationship via the predatory's authority or power over them. 
I don't think that these are mutually exclusive things.  

A person can be a predator and another person could consent to begin a relationship with them.  Part of being a good predator is hiding the fact that you are one.  

Just feels like there are a fair number of blanket statements like there couldn't be abuse or a person can't be a predator if somebody willingly has a relationship with them.  

 
I don't think that these are mutually exclusive things.  

A person can be a predator and another person could consent to begin a relationship with them.  Part of being a good predator is hiding the fact that you are one.  

Just feels like there are a fair number of blanket statements like there couldn't be abuse or a person can't be a predator if somebody willingly has a relationship with them.  
Given the vast majority of consensual relationships end, the odds are pretty good that everyone has at least one ex-partner that could make an argument that they are a sexual predator, if we are going to define it so loosely. 

 
Given the vast majority of consensual relationships end, the odds are pretty good that everyone has at least one ex-partner that could make an argument that they are a sexual predator, if we are going to define it so loosely. 
Loosely as far as this specific case, or are you talking broadly about what some people have been fired over as far as what they have said or done?  

I don't think many of us have had a relationship with somebody who has acted like he has been accused of acting.  

ETA:  I was also talking about predator in a general sense, not specifically sexual predator so that was causing some problems I think.

 
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Loosely as far as this specific case, or are you talking broadly about what some people have been fired over as far as what they have said or done?  

I don't think many of us have had a relationship with somebody who has acted like he has been accused of acting.  

ETA:  I was also talking about predator in a general sense, not specifically sexual predator so that was causing some problems I think.
i think what he is saying is if you dated enough women one of them at least would have a bad opinion of you and could distort things to make you look controlling or whatever.  

and once again i think its foolish to take everything she is saying at face value all things considered

 
i think what he is saying is if you dated enough women one of them at least would have a bad opinion of you and could distort things to make you look controlling or whatever.  

and once again i think its foolish to take everything she is saying at face value all things considered
I am not taking everything as gospel on her end.  I am just in the NV camp that it's much more rare to have abuse cases that are made up just to get back at somebody.  

I am also pretty confident that I could date 100 women and none of them could paint me in that way or that I would piss them off enough or the relationship to get to point where they would want to make it up.  :shrug:

 
I’m not saying Hardwick’s behavior, if true, is ordinary or right but it’s definitely not sexual abuse and it’s certainly not worthy of being made public and ruining his life in many ways. 
This is what I don't agree with.  IF what she reported was true, I think is abuse -sexual and emotional, and I have 0 issues with people like that being outed so others know and charges can be brought if applicable.

I get your general point and agree for the most part.  Part of the push back against these cases is that feeling of "#### that, I wouldn't want to lose my livelihood over one dumb comment or one bad day."   I think we toeing that dangerous line as well.  

Like I said before, I think there is an over correction phase going on, and I think and hope it will stabilize in the middle more as we get some nuance to the topic and talk about it more.  

 
I can't imagine anyone reading this and thinking "I fail to see the abuse there."
As is?  Sure.

I also don't think it would be weird if a guy had an issue with his girlfriend going out at night with other guys.

Hardwick is a recovering addict.  He told her to be in a realtionship with him she couldn't drink.  That's not unusual. She made him into a monster on that account.  Makes me question how she characterized everything.

 
Loosely as far as this specific case, or are you talking broadly about what some people have been fired over as far as what they have said or done?  

I don't think many of us have had a relationship with somebody who has acted like he has been accused of acting.  

ETA:  I was also talking about predator in a general sense, not specifically sexual predator so that was causing some problems I think.
Loosely in general.

Given people are getting fired and blackballed in their careers simply because one person tweeted that they are a sexual predator, I do think we as a society should NOT be defining what a sexual predator is so loosely. 

If the #metoo movement allows for people to speak up about bad relationships, then it needs to end quickly. It should be about relationships that never should have begun in the first place, but did because someone used their position of authority/power to start it. 

 
Cosby is a predator

Weinstein is a predator

Rose is a predator

CK is a predator

Hardwick is NOT a predator. A jerk? Yes. But he hasn't done anything to put him on the predator spectrum. 

Abuse <> Predator. HTH. 
Don't agree on Louis CK. I think he has/had a legitimate sexual disfunction born from self-loathing and was never out to hurt women or abuse his position.

 
As is?  Sure.

I also don't think it would be weird if a guy had an issue with his girlfriend going out at night with other guys.

Hardwick is a recovering addict.  He told her to be in a realtionship with him she couldn't drink.  That's not unusual. She made him into a monster on that account.  Makes me question how she characterized everything.
And she’s a cosplayer. I’ve been dates a few times with women that were in to that and they are very unstable.

 
As is?  Sure.

I also don't think it would be weird if a guy had an issue with his girlfriend going out at night with other guys.

Hardwick is a recovering addict.  He told her to be in a realtionship with him she couldn't drink.  That's not unusual. She made him into a monster on that account.  Makes me question how she characterized everything.
I don’t really understand bringing up the alcohol thing...  you get into a relationship with a recovering addict and they ask you not to drink. I think thats pretty cut and dry. Why bring that into your argument, that’s a reasonable request. 

 
This one - IF TRUE - could be the worst yet. Tom Hanks gets accused this time. At first blush, the woman seems to be :loco:   

ETA: perhaps a LOT of coo coo pants. 

 
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Sarah Ruth Ashcraft‏ @SaRaAshcraft Jul 6

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Sometimes they do live transfusion, other times they just withdraw it. I don't see what they do after once they take it. They drink blood flooded with adrenal chemicals when they kill a victim. I know they withdrew my blood ALL THE TIME. The CSF depletion impairs memory creation.

 
Tom Hanks hypnotized me, removed my ####, and replaced them with pentacles upon one of which was his likeness from his Bosom Buddies days and the other of which had a likeness of Wilson from his castaway movie.

Please share your tales of your violation(s) by Tom Hanks. 

 
With @POTUS in charge now, things are changing, and the executive order he signed on 12/21/17 is directly related to this cult & their trafficking, which supports their entire operation, which is really about Luciferianism & cannibalism, not pedophilia, in the end.

:mellow:  

 

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