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Big Ben Engaged (1 Viewer)

Plaxico Burress and DeSean Jackson attempt to spike the punch, but do so too early.

 
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Reportedly the bride used to date Ryan Leaf but broke up quickly. When asked about the new couple, Ryan politely told the reporter he didn't want to talk about it.... oh, and to knock it off.

 
DoubleG said:
On a side note, former Vice President Al Gore was credited with inventing weddings.
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and Chris Christie* offered a trip to Disney World. But let's not FFA this one (not quite yet anyway) :shrug: * - so did Phil Simms, Doug Williams, Joe Montana, Ottis Anderson, Mark Rypien, Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, Nancy Kerrigan, Jerry, Rice, Steve Young, Desmond Howard, John Elway, Terrell Davis, Kurt Warner, Trent Dilfer, Tom Brady, Jon Gruden, Brad Johnson, Hines Ward, Jerome Bettis, Tony Dungy, Donald Brown, Eli Manning, Santonio Holmes, Drew Brees.Ben indicated he had already been there.Kerrigan later apologized for offering such a dumb gift.-QG
 
Donovan McNabb failed to attend the formal affair because he "didn't understand that the rules resulted in a tie"

 
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Chad Ochocinco offered to change his last name to Roethlisberger if Ben married HIM.

This news did not arrive in time as Ocho was still stuck on Revis Island and because it was originally broadcast on Versus and nobody saw it.

Michael Westbrook brought the punch. Sebastian Janikowski spiked it.

Danny Snyder spent millions on a shiny new gift that did absolutely nothing.

After the wedding, Ben and his bride insist they will move to L.A......someday. In the meantime they will first go to Carolina, Baltimore, Houston, and Jacksonville.

Mike Brown insisted that the Bengals that were in the wedding party rehearse outside in the snow.

-QG

 
The reception took a turn for the worse when Rashard Mendenhall's date collapsed on the dance floor, when reached for comment she said, "He just kept spinning, he just kept spinning and after each spin there was this white guy with a high pitched voice who kept screaming WHOOOOP, WHOOOOP, it was the scariest moment of my life, and I dated Mel Gibson."

 
Cecil Collins will break into the honeymoon suite afterward, but only to 'watch them sleep'.

 
Upon being asked if he thought Big Ben getting married so soon after the scandal was funny, Derek Anderson replied, "It's NOT funny....NOTHING is funny to me!"

 
Art Modell will secretly move the couple from their original honeymoon spot in Baltimore to Indy in the middle of the night

Mel Gibson's gift will be telephonic Marriage counseling

Dan Marino faked spiking the punch

Ed Rendell chastised the couple calling them "Wussies" for not performing their vows in the middle of a Philadelphia blizzard.

 
The bride is wearing

Something old: Al Davis jumpsuit

Something new: Sam Bradford mouth piece

Something borrowed: A maple bar from Golden Tate

Something blue: Powder Blue Chargers jersey

:goodposting:

 
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Bill Parcells is refusing to attend after being told that he could coordinate the dinner, but wouldn't be allowed to pick out any of the food.

 
Rumor has it that Terry Bradshaw is planning to throw an immaculate reception...

 
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James Harrison will be the best man, but will get fined $100,000 after the wedding by Goodell for "being in the proximity of a quarterback".

 
After attending every wedding he had been invited to his entire life, Brett Favre will not be able to make it to this one. He'll be giving his seat to Michael Strahan.

 
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Aaron Brooks just attempted to throw the boquet backwards and inexplicably it went forward.

Rex Grossman was arriving with the catering, but someone sneezed so he dropped it all over the floor.

 
Jerry Jones offered to hold the wedding in the Cowboy's new stadium but the wedding party refused. They were afraid the bouquet might hit the scoreboard during a good toss.

 
Another wedding taking place across the street that tried to compete with this wedding for attention. When that failed they tried to bargain to merge weddings. Finally they took them to court, where they won $3.

 
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Vince McMahon attempts to hold a wedding across the street. He alters the rules a bit. His ceremony starts with an open scrum for the wedding rings in the middle of the chapel. Unfortunately, no-one shows up to attend the wedding and its quickly cancelled.

 
Phil Luckett tripped Big Ben going down the aisle.

Joe Horn called in to say he couldn't make it

 
JaMarcus Russell will provide refreshments!

and

Center Maurkice Pouncey will offer sex counseling tips to the bride!

 
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Fensalk said:
Vince McMahon attempts to hold a wedding across the street. He alters the rules a bit. His ceremony starts with an open scrum for the wedding rings in the middle of the chapel. Unfortunately, no-one shows up to attend the wedding and its quickly cancelled.
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On a related note, Rod Smart reported that he was not invited to the wedding. When asked why, smart replied 'He Hate Me'-QG
 
The Pittsburgh Steeler offensive line will be there to perform security. Someone will break in, but Ben will handle it by himself.

 
Elway offered up consummation advice. It's called "The Drive" and it's guaranteed to satisfy in 5 mins. 02 seconds or less.

 
Ben drops the wedding rings. Kenny Stabler tries to pick them up but they slip away and roll down the aisle. Pete Banaszak tries to get ahold of them but kicks them further down the aisle. Dave Casper reaches for them and bats them a little further down the aisle, finally falling on them at the altar. Jerry Markbreit rules Casper and Ben's bride-to-be husband and wife.

 
Fensalk said:
Ben drops the wedding rings. Kenny Stabler tries to pick them up but they slip away and roll down the aisle. Pete Banaszak tries to get ahold of them but kicks them further down the aisle. Dave Casper reaches for them and bats them a little further down the aisle, finally falling on them at the altar. Jerry Markbreit rules Casper and Ben's bride-to-be husband and wife.
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'78 Chargers boycotting the wedding.
 
Vegas sets the odds on the marriage at 1.5 years, with an over/under of 3 late night dive bar hookups.

 
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