Family controversy - Wedding Invitations (1 Viewer)

[Henry Ford]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

Unfortunately, people ignore this obvious clue as to who is invited. "My wife and I are invited to a wedding! Kids, pack a bag!"

People just assume that if you invite the parents the kids are invited, too. It's pretty maddening.

 

[The Commish]

We had this discussion when we got married. We decided to have our reception on a pier in Key West. We figured if the parents wanted to bring their kids, worry about them jumping in the water, forgoing the party on Duvall etc, that was on them. We had no children show up.

 

[Pipes]

I just can't wrap my head around why you would even WANT to bring a young child to a wedding. They won't have any fun and they could stop you from having fun in the process.

Not a parent, so maybe I just don't get it, but isn't this pretty much the perfect occasion to ditch the kids for a night and have some adult time?

Well if it's a family deal it gives relatives you don't see very often a chance to see your kid. With that being said though the bridge and groom dictate if kids are allowed or not.

 

[Apple Jack]

The last few weddings I've been to have been destination weddings, so that tends to weed out the kiddies, too.

 

[McGarnicle]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

 

[Pick]

I understand people want to have the perfect wedding with no disruption. But I think it sends a bad message to start off a new family (getting married) by excluding others just because some little punk might be a nuissance. At some point, maybe they have kids and go through the same thing. That's a selfish thing for them to do but if I were you I'd still accomodate. Not a beach worth dying on (at least not yet).

Message?

Plus, are you sure they got married with the intent of starting a family? I know plenty of couples who got married and don't want kids.

Meh. Like I said not a beach worth dying on. Probably a product of growing up LDS where half the congregation at church is under 5. But kids are not allowed in LDS temple ceremonies. In fact, anyone under 18 isn't allowed. And I could see how that would suck. So I'm ok with it. Just feel people aren't very patient when it comes to kids.

And as for those that get married and don't have kids. Well, that's just sad.

 

[Pick]

I understand people want to have the perfect wedding with no disruption. But I think it sends a bad message to start off a new family (getting married) by excluding others just because some little punk might be a nuissance. At some point, maybe they have kids and go through the same thing. That's a selfish thing for them to do but if I were you I'd still accomodate. Not a beach worth dying on (at least not yet).

Message?

;goodposting:

Not everyone wants to have 50 kids, Jeddadiah.

Sup peens

 

[proninja]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Like, say, the guy who started this thread

 

[Apple Jack]

Meh. Like I said not a beach worth dying on. Probably a product of growing up LDS where half the congregation at church is under 5. But kids are not allowed in LDS temple ceremonies. In fact, anyone under 18 isn't allowed. And I could see how that would suck. So I'm ok with it. Just feel people aren't very patient when it comes to kids.

And as for those that get married and don't have kids. Well, that's just sad.

Damn fine posting there! What's the effing point?

 

[Ned]

Are you a chick?

 

[RUSF18]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

 

[gmbacm]

Godsbrother, on 22 Apr 2013 - 09:53, said:I encouraged all of the kids in attendance to drink soda until they barfed.

 

[Pick]

Meh. Like I said not a beach worth dying on. Probably a product of growing up LDS where half the congregation at church is under 5. But kids are not allowed in LDS temple ceremonies. In fact, anyone under 18 isn't allowed. And I could see how that would suck. So I'm ok with it. Just feel people aren't very patient when it comes to kids.

And as for those that get married and don't have kids. Well, that's just sad.

Damn fine posting there! What's the effing point?

Point of what? My initial post was that I think kids get swept under the rug way too quickly, but I think the wedding couple's wishes come first. Sorry point Nazi.

 

[Slapdash]

Kids are ####ing annoying. Yours likely are too. Leave em home.

 

[Apple Jack]

Meh. Like I said not a beach worth dying on. Probably a product of growing up LDS where half the congregation at church is under 5. But kids are not allowed in LDS temple ceremonies. In fact, anyone under 18 isn't allowed. And I could see how that would suck. So I'm ok with it. Just feel people aren't very patient when it comes to kids.

And as for those that get married and don't have kids. Well, that's just sad.

Damn fine posting there! What's the effing point?

Point of what? My initial post was that I think kids get swept under the rug way too quickly, but I think the wedding couple's wishes come first. Sorry point Nazi.

Huh? I was agreeing with you. Though I'm confident we each arrive there by different logic.

 

[Jayrok]

My niece was married last weekend and there was a similar request to have no children at the reception. The wedding was fine, but they asked no kids at the reception. In fact, the reception was limited to a certain # of people.

It worked out great. My kids are grown to it didn't affect me, but my other brother (not the father of the bride) has an 11 yo girl who really wanted to attend the "party".. But it was actually for the best precisely because of the entertainment (DJ, dancing, etc.).

Small children wandering around during dinner is one thing, but having preteens wanting to interrupt all proceedings so they can hijack the music by begging to sing Justin Bieber or Milo Cyrus karaoke... or dance the party anthem every 5 minutes would get very annoying. It was a good call to keep it all adults.

 

[the moops]

Anyways they say the open bars at clubs tend to lose money for the clubs.

No chance this is true.

 

[Billy Bats]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Guarantee there are people who will still take their kids even after the request on the invitation, as a kind of "who do they think they are, I'll show them" mentality. Now that's going to be a good thread, post-wedding.

 

[BroadwayG]

The obvious choice is to bring the grandson and his entire boy scout troop to the wedding and reception.

 

[Apple Jack]

Also lame when you're trying to have adult fun, and you find a tree to take a leak while getting high outside with one of the bridesmaids and whoops here comes a little kid and now we have to worry about the kid saying he saw that man over there's penis and now we're off and running. SAD EFFING BANANA.

 

[belljr]

unless my kid is in the wedding it never occured to me to bring my kids

 

[McGarnicle]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

 

[Apple Jack]

If your friends can't afford to allow everybody a +1, they should just hit the justice of the peace and throw a party. That's ridiculous.

 

[RUSF18]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

Please. It screams that you don't want a random person who you've never met at your wedding. We invited people with serious significant others who had them, but my fiancee's friends who are completely single aren't going to be bringing some random guy who they've been on two J-dates with.

 

[Spin]

This is common practice nowadays. I don't think it's anything personal as much as it is to make it an adult-only celebration.

We have a kid under 3 and have been to two weddings at the extremes of these: No kids at the reception, though the couple paid for babysitters to watch the children and a wedding like the one you were invited to. We took it as a night for mom and dad out where we could leave our son with grandma and have fun with friends and booze it up that night.

This. We offered child care at our wedding and reception, but I don't think anyone took us up on it. They were smart enough to leave the kids at home.

That's actually a pretty awesome idea. Never thought of or heard of that.

Me and my fiancee are doing this as well. We are getting married at an outdoor location with the reception directly across from the wedding site. There's a playground close by and an indoor area with a TV. We're paying for child care to watch the kids and let them play at the park or watch movies etc inside. We just asked that everyone who is bringing kids under 14 (Fiancee came up with that number, I think because her aunt has an annoying 13 year old) to understand that during the ceremony/reception they will need to be in the child care area.

It works for us, because one of her Aunt and Uncle have recently inherited three little ones (who are absolutely crazy due to zero discipline, which is another long story on it's own) from their daughter. As well as my brother and my sister will each be bringing a 2 year old.

Having a 10 month old myself, I wouldn't be offended in the least bit if someone asked me to leave him at home. He'll scream out for no apparent reason at any time.

 

[McGarnicle]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

Please. It screams that you don't want a random person who you've never met at your wedding. We invited people with serious significant others who had them, but my fiancee's friends who are completely single aren't going to be bringing some random guy who they've been on two J-dates with.

Most people wouldn't bring someone they barely know to a wedding. So if they aren't dating anyone serious and decide not to bring someone, fine. But it's correct etiquette to give them the option. As for it being a random person at your wedding, it happens. What if your cousin in another state is engaged and this is your first chance to meet the fiance'?

 

[Apple Jack]

No please about it; not giving somebody the option to bring a date to your wedding is bad form.

 

[iamsmilin]

My brother and his wife asked that no children attend. Then they called two people and said "you can bring your kid". So the reception was uncomfortable as two couples looked like they weren't following the rules. Then word got around that they had been told to bring the kids which made everyone else with the bride.

This. The only time I was annoyed was when we were told no kids should come to the wedding. We were fine with that. We got there and there were a bunch of kids, just select ones. Which really ticked off my husband and rubbed me the wrong way.

 

[McGarnicle]

My brother and his wife asked that no children attend. Then they called two people and said "you can bring your kid". So the reception was uncomfortable as two couples looked like they weren't following the rules. Then word got around that they had been told to bring the kids which made everyone else with the bride.

This. The only time I was annoyed was when we were told no kids should come to the wedding. We were fine with that. We got there and there were a bunch of kids, just select ones. Which really ticked off my husband and rubbed me the wrong way.

What the hell is wrong with people?

 

[proninja]

Man, do people make this stuff hard

 

[Apple Jack]

I wouldn't be surprised if sometimes it happens that they make the rule that they don't want kids and then somebody close to the bride and/or groom can't afford or find a way to make that work and they decide it's not a big enough deal to let it keep somebody close to them from being there.

 

[RUSF18]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

Please. It screams that you don't want a random person who you've never met at your wedding. We invited people with serious significant others who had them, but my fiancee's friends who are completely single aren't going to be bringing some random guy who they've been on two J-dates with.

Most people wouldn't bring someone they barely know to a wedding. So if they aren't dating anyone serious and decide not to bring someone, fine. But it's correct etiquette to give them the option. As for it being a random person at your wedding, it happens. What if your cousin in another state is engaged and this is your first chance to meet the fiance'?

Right, and most people wouldn't bring an uninvited kid to a wedding either...and yet here we are. And yes there's a difference between "random guy I haven't met because this person didn't know them a month ago" and "my cousin's fiance who I haven't had the opportunity to meet yet". Shocking that you can't see that.

 

[McGarnicle]

I wouldn't be surprised if sometimes it happens that they make the rule that they don't want kids and then somebody close to the bride and/or groom can't afford or find a way to make that work and they decide it's not a big enough deal to let it keep somebody close to them from being there.

More like, some people have trouble saying no and it leads to more people being offended just to accommodate one family. Who can't afford a babysitter for a night?

 

[McGarnicle]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

Please. It screams that you don't want a random person who you've never met at your wedding. We invited people with serious significant others who had them, but my fiancee's friends who are completely single aren't going to be bringing some random guy who they've been on two J-dates with.

Most people wouldn't bring someone they barely know to a wedding. So if they aren't dating anyone serious and decide not to bring someone, fine. But it's correct etiquette to give them the option. As for it being a random person at your wedding, it happens. What if your cousin in another state is engaged and this is your first chance to meet the fiance'?

Right, and most people wouldn't bring an uninvited kid to a wedding either...and yet here we are. And yes there's a difference between "random guy I haven't met because this person didn't know them a month ago" and "my cousin's fiance who I haven't had the opportunity to meet yet". Shocking that you can't see that.

Again, you give the guest the option because it's the right thing to do. Why should I care if it's a new relationship? If my friend wants to bring a date so they have someone there to talk to and dance with, I should be the one to decide if they've been together long enough? I can actually see this taken as an insult if the single guest arrives and there are other unmarried people with significant others there.

 

[Apple Jack]

I wouldn't be surprised if sometimes it happens that they make the rule that they don't want kids and then somebody close to the bride and/or groom can't afford or find a way to make that work and they decide it's not a big enough deal to let it keep somebody close to them from being there.

More like, some people have trouble saying no and it leads to more people being offended just to accommodate one family. Who can't afford a babysitter for a night?

Good point. Most of my friends have had destination weddings, so that's a little different in terms of the logistics involved.

 

[Meecrob]

"Do you Joe So and So take this woman to be your lawful... BRAAAAAAAAAAAAA TURD TURDS TURDS TURD PLOP AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

This is what kids do; leave them at home, its not personal, kids are just annoying in general and feel the need to be on their A-game at formal events because they know that they can get away with it as your first line of defense is "Gosh darnit Hunter and Riley you aren't going to get your treat today if you keep up that type of behavior!!!" and that's all they will hear about it.

 

[Maik Jeaunz]

I'm still trying to figure out a way to leave my kid home from his own baptism.

 

[NCCommish]

I understand people want to have the perfect wedding with no disruption. But I think it sends a bad message to start off a new family (getting married) by excluding others just because some little punk might be a nuissance. At some point, maybe they have kids and go through the same thing. That's a selfish thing for them to do but if I were you I'd still accomodate. Not a beach worth dying on (at least not yet).

Message?

Plus, are you sure they got married with the intent of starting a family? I know plenty of couples who got married and don't want kids.

Meh. Like I said not a beach worth dying on. Probably a product of growing up LDS where half the congregation at church is under 5. But kids are not allowed in LDS temple ceremonies. In fact, anyone under 18 isn't allowed. And I could see how that would suck. So I'm ok with it. Just feel people aren't very patient when it comes to kids.

And as for those that get married and don't have kids. Well, that's just sad.

And how is it sad exactly?

 

[Pick]

Meh. Like I said not a beach worth dying on. Probably a product of growing up LDS where half the congregation at church is under 5. But kids are not allowed in LDS temple ceremonies. In fact, anyone under 18 isn't allowed. And I could see how that would suck. So I'm ok with it. Just feel people aren't very patient when it comes to kids.

And as for those that get married and don't have kids. Well, that's just sad.

Damn fine posting there! What's the effing point?

Point of what? My initial post was that I think kids get swept under the rug way too quickly, but I think the wedding couple's wishes come first. Sorry point Nazi.

Huh? I was agreeing with you. Though I'm confident we each arrive there by different logic.

 

[Pick]

I understand people want to have the perfect wedding with no disruption. But I think it sends a bad message to start off a new family (getting married) by excluding others just because some little punk might be a nuissance. At some point, maybe they have kids and go through the same thing. That's a selfish thing for them to do but if I were you I'd still accomodate. Not a beach worth dying on (at least not yet).

Message?

Plus, are you sure they got married with the intent of starting a family? I know plenty of couples who got married and don't want kids.

Meh. Like I said not a beach worth dying on. Probably a product of growing up LDS where half the congregation at church is under 5. But kids are not allowed in LDS temple ceremonies. In fact, anyone under 18 isn't allowed. And I could see how that would suck. So I'm ok with it. Just feel people aren't very patient when it comes to kids.

And as for those that get married and don't have kids. Well, that's just sad.

And how is it sad exactly?

Cuz kids are awesome. A missed opportunity.

 

[NCCommish]

When I got married my wife's cousin, who was hot with huge tracts of land, was dating a guy who catered weddings. He gave my perspective in-laws a 50% discount. They promptly invited twice as many people as had been planned. We probably didn't break 10k for the whole thing but still I was all for small and cheap. I would have preferred they handed me the extra cash if they really wanted to spend it that badly.

 

[NCCommish]

I understand people want to have the perfect wedding with no disruption. But I think it sends a bad message to start off a new family (getting married) by excluding others just because some little punk might be a nuissance. At some point, maybe they have kids and go through the same thing. That's a selfish thing for them to do but if I were you I'd still accomodate. Not a beach worth dying on (at least not yet).

Message?

Plus, are you sure they got married with the intent of starting a family? I know plenty of couples who got married and don't want kids.

Meh. Like I said not a beach worth dying on. Probably a product of growing up LDS where half the congregation at church is under 5. But kids are not allowed in LDS temple ceremonies. In fact, anyone under 18 isn't allowed. And I could see how that would suck. So I'm ok with it. Just feel people aren't very patient when it comes to kids.

And as for those that get married and don't have kids. Well, that's just sad.

And how is it sad exactly?

Cuz kids are awesome. A missed opportunity.

There are missed opportunities on both sides of that.

 

[Apple Jack]

I'm still trying to figure out a way to leave my kid home from his own baptism.

Is there are way to do this by picking up the water, taking it to the house, then skyping the kid in?

 

[FigJam]

Read closer Abe.

In my wife's immediate family, that rule only affects two families (one is mine).

How about some reading comprehension - it's a lost skill. It obviously involves me but I only asked what people thought of it.

Maybe they think if by adding this rule, that maybe you won't show...

 

[culdeus]

Anyways they say the open bars at clubs tend to lose money for the clubs.

No chance this is true.

I think it's not out of the realm. Bars need to charge 8 or so a drink in this area to cover TABC, server, overhead. In a 4 hour period someone drinks 1/hr they blow that tab easily. Most places don't even allow you to tip servers at events so 20% go to the tenders automatically and 15% to the pickups. So they are netting maybe a shade over 30, most of which is killed by Uncle Ron and his liver. Even someone killing a 6 pack of Bud Light may just barely break even for the venue.

50/open bar/person is about the limit someone will pay here before going the catered route. That's the option versus letting your venue go dark.

 

[shadyridr]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

Please. It screams that you don't want a random person who you've never met at your wedding. We invited people with serious significant others who had them, but my fiancee's friends who are completely single aren't going to be bringing some random guy who they've been on two J-dates with.

This is really bad form.

 

[Zasada]

My brother and his wife asked that no children attend. Then they called two people and said "you can bring your kid". So the reception was uncomfortable as two couples looked like they weren't following the rules. Then word got around that they had been told to bring the kids which made everyone else with the bride.

This is part of it. Somebody is going to show up with kids - and then what?

Also, I am only thinking abut bringing to the dance part not the dinner - so cost isn't an issue.

And on a side note, the other person who's child is left out - the niece was in their wedding party 2 years ago. That's not good.

Dude, it's THEIR wedding not yours. Respect their wishes/requests.

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.

This x 1000.

Their party their rules.

If they decide they want everyone to have purple coloured hair at their wedding, that's their call. And it's your call whether you attend or not. So stop making it about you and just decide if you're willing to go or not, based on your invitation.

 

[saintsfan]

I can't believe somebody would have an issue with this. I love my kids, but I am with them all the time. A night where just my wife and me can go out without our children begging us for stuff?? Yeah, sign me up.

 

[jwb]

I understand people want to have the perfect wedding with no disruption. But I think it sends a bad message to start off a new family (getting married) by excluding others just because some little punk might be a nuissance. At some point, maybe they have kids and go through the same thing. That's a selfish thing for them to do but if I were you I'd still accomodate. Not a beach worth dying on (at least not yet).

Message?

Plus, are you sure they got married with the intent of starting a family? I know plenty of couples who got married and don't want kids.

Meh. Like I said not a beach worth dying on. Probably a product of growing up LDS where half the congregation at church is under 5. But kids are not allowed in LDS temple ceremonies. In fact, anyone under 18 isn't allowed. And I could see how that would suck. So I'm ok with it. Just feel people aren't very patient when it comes to kids.

And as for those that get married and don't have kids. Well, that's just sad.

And how is it sad exactly?

Cuz kids are awesome. A missed opportunity.

There are missed opportunities on both sides of that.

he obviously wants to turn this into a "kids are awesome and having them is way better than not having them" thread.

 

[goramzgo]

Why do people not want kids at their wedding? I never really understood this. Families that bring kids don't stay around long anyway. They go to the ceremony, eat some food at the reception, and are mostly out of there before the good stuff starts. And why is a 12 year old OK, but not an 11 year old? There has got to be some dooshy 11 year old in your family or something?

Cost? At over $100+/plate I wouldn't want them either.

kids are usually much cheaper cuz they get chicken fingers and cant drink alcohol

Right, and if it's catered at a price per plate they still get charged for a full plate

no im saying the place charges less per child. Catering hall i got married in charged $100 per adult and $50 per child.

Holy crap and I thought my daughter's $20 per plate was expensive.....