dharmapunk
Footballguy
Can someone unpack this for me? I's stoopid. Or just don't know crap about Winehouse.I'm in tears, S
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
GM's thread about nothing (26 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
Better jeep?
YSR
Footballguy
I think I was the only one earlier in the thread who said that it hurts like hell. But, my doctor put the hot needle right at the base of my fingernail. If your injury is at the end of the nail, it may not hurt as much. Give it another try. You'll be glad you did.
YSR
Footballguy
I think I was the only one earlier in the thread who said that it hurts like hell. But, my doctor put the hot needle right at the base of my fingernail. If your injury is at the end of the nail, it may not hurt as much. Give it another try. You'll be glad you did.
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Still not getting it, Lou.
YSR
Footballguy
See above for bolded.Can someone unpack this for me? I's stoopid. Or just don't know crap about Winehouse.I'm in tears, S
Drifter
Footballguy
Idiot Boxer
Footballguy
Nope. Joke just died.
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
Personal favorite was:McDonald's just put the Amy Winehouse Extra Value Meal on their menu. It's just coke and ice.
dharmapunk
Footballguy
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Now for something completely different-
There's few things better in life than going for a 2 mile forest hike with your four year old son and teaching him how to tell time by looking at the sun.
Not to sentimental this mofo up, but these are the things I'll remember on my deathbed. That and Amy Winehouse dying.
There's few things better in life than going for a 2 mile forest hike with your four year old son and teaching him how to tell time by looking at the sun.
Not to sentimental this mofo up, but these are the things I'll remember on my deathbed. That and Amy Winehouse dying.
Last edited by a moderator:
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
My junior year of school we were playing Kennedy and they had a big "K" on a hill by the field. I made a potassium joke (I don't know) that made a bunch of guys laugh and had me running the whole practice that next Monday.
General Malaise
Footballguy
And yet that is still more than what Sarah Palin's movie made. WINNING!!!!!1I'll look for it online.I feel like I should watch this out of pity.'McJose said:
Good Posting Judge
Footballguy
Stop.
General Malaise
Footballguy
I'm not sure I could even teach my sons how to tell time from looking at a clock, but cool story.
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Thanks. But he's only got down three times: "right above our head is noon, that way (east) is before noon, that way (west) is after noon. That's when it'll become night."Still, impressive for the little guy. More impressive is he can navigate through and out the nature preserve across multiple trails. "The blue path to the red path to the yellow path." Makes me feel good if I ever go down hard and tear up a knee or something.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Memo
To: GMTAN
Subject: The Good Feet Store
In the past 6-8 months I've had pain in the arches in my feet. It's mostly in the morning after I get out of bed but otherwise no big deal. Getting old sucks right? Anyhow, I was between appointments today and aloha, I see The Good Feet Store. I've heard countless commercials on the radio the last few months from local "celebrities" touting how it has helped them and I had half an hour to kill so I pull in the lot. When I walked in the door I was surprised at the decor and knew that something just wasn't right. There were four love seats and a 25" tube TV on an AV stand in the corner playing a GFS commercial on a classy DVD/VCR combo. That was it. Not a product or person to be found. Now I'm scared, and a little bit excited, that I might be raped on one of the sofas. Before I can escape a young fellow appears from behind a secret wall and asks if he can help me. I tell him why I'm there and he asks me to step on a big stamp pad in a natural manner. I do so with both feet in the most natural manner I can when stepping on a giant stamp pad. He examines the imprints and tells me I have good arch support but he can help ease my pain. He disappears into the back as quickly as he appeared and told me to make myself at home. I briefly consider making a dash for the door but it is hot out there so I took his advice and made myself comfortable. About five minutes later he comes back and seemed a little startled to see me sitting there in my underwear. I apologized for the misunderstanding and put my pants back on. He then proceeded to put these little plastic insert things into my shoes and asked me to walk around. “Is it hitting the spot where it hurts?” he asked. “Yes, yes it is” I replied. “Good!” he says. He asks me to sit back down on the couch and I notice the smell from the Kleenex I recently used and wedged between the cushions. Slightly embarrassed, I pray he didn’t major in feet with a minor in the olfactory arts. He then shows me a couple of other little pieces of plastic and how I’ll wear one in the morning, one in the afternoon and another at night. I barely remember to feed myself, HTF am I not only going to remember to switch these things out three times a day but not lose them? I was there a good 20 minutes now and was temporarily able to break the salesman hypnosis he had on me to ask him how much “this system” cost. Turns out I was in luck, they were on special. What kind of special? We’ll they were eighty dollars off. (Wait what?) Now I’m wishing I would have forgone the Kleenex altogether and just used the cushion. Turns out this magnificent system, on sale, was only $819.00. I mumbled something about my Mom needing an operation and left.
To: GMTAN
Subject: The Good Feet Store
In the past 6-8 months I've had pain in the arches in my feet. It's mostly in the morning after I get out of bed but otherwise no big deal. Getting old sucks right? Anyhow, I was between appointments today and aloha, I see The Good Feet Store. I've heard countless commercials on the radio the last few months from local "celebrities" touting how it has helped them and I had half an hour to kill so I pull in the lot. When I walked in the door I was surprised at the decor and knew that something just wasn't right. There were four love seats and a 25" tube TV on an AV stand in the corner playing a GFS commercial on a classy DVD/VCR combo. That was it. Not a product or person to be found. Now I'm scared, and a little bit excited, that I might be raped on one of the sofas. Before I can escape a young fellow appears from behind a secret wall and asks if he can help me. I tell him why I'm there and he asks me to step on a big stamp pad in a natural manner. I do so with both feet in the most natural manner I can when stepping on a giant stamp pad. He examines the imprints and tells me I have good arch support but he can help ease my pain. He disappears into the back as quickly as he appeared and told me to make myself at home. I briefly consider making a dash for the door but it is hot out there so I took his advice and made myself comfortable. About five minutes later he comes back and seemed a little startled to see me sitting there in my underwear. I apologized for the misunderstanding and put my pants back on. He then proceeded to put these little plastic insert things into my shoes and asked me to walk around. “Is it hitting the spot where it hurts?” he asked. “Yes, yes it is” I replied. “Good!” he says. He asks me to sit back down on the couch and I notice the smell from the Kleenex I recently used and wedged between the cushions. Slightly embarrassed, I pray he didn’t major in feet with a minor in the olfactory arts. He then shows me a couple of other little pieces of plastic and how I’ll wear one in the morning, one in the afternoon and another at night. I barely remember to feed myself, HTF am I not only going to remember to switch these things out three times a day but not lose them? I was there a good 20 minutes now and was temporarily able to break the salesman hypnosis he had on me to ask him how much “this system” cost. Turns out I was in luck, they were on special.
What kind of special? We’ll they were eighty dollars off. (Wait what?) Now I’m wishing I would have forgone the Kleenex altogether and just used the cushion. Turns out this magnificent system, on sale, was only $819.00. I mumbled something about my Mom needing an operation and left.
Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll
Footballguy
Our buddy Chaos Commish did his first hike today, already sent me the
! Find your mute button first.
! Find your mute button first.
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
dharmapunk
Footballguy
EYLive
Footballguy
dharmapunk
Footballguy
I know some of you are in tight with Studs. Could you beg him to Studs Bomb Fin's Mystery thread?
I'll help him make teh juice if he does. Promise.
I'll help him make teh juice if he does. Promise.
krista4
Footballguy
You were the other of the two.Full-time move to Nica in 1-1/2 to three years, I hope. I told Mr. krista I'd like to get one of those countdown clocks and put April 30, 2013 in it. I'd probably just stand in front of it and watch it count down for hours on end. For now just a vacation/rental spot.I'd love to know about the program you mentioned. Sounds too good to be true!Am I one of those two, or part of the jabbering rabble?Also - you moved to Nicaragua full-time or did you pick up a vacation spot? Mrs. Sack and I and have been seriously considering teaching English abroad because education stateside sucks balls right now. We heard of a killer program where you work on annual contracts (first contract is two years), they provide a house, maid, nanny, free private school education for your offspring, and you teach private school kids without downs syndrome or meth addictions. Apparently you come out ahead with decent coin (for educators) since most of your living expenses are covered. Mrs. Sack met a couple who did this for 10 years. After 5 they were able to buy a nice lakehouse in Ithaca and summer here.OK, two people whose views I respect have said this. What's the draw there? Just a?
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Hey K4> if I add you on the facebook, you won't let me hang in "maybe" limbo and make me feel silly, will you?
I'm guessing you got pics of the place and the mister and whatnot. Plus you'd probably dig all my professor & poet pals. Filthy mouths, witty minds.
I'm guessing you got pics of the place and the mister and whatnot. Plus you'd probably dig all my professor & poet pals. Filthy mouths, witty minds.
krista4
Footballguy
The UV and the granules or other mixture that cosjobs recommended sound like a good idea. The problem is that they'll come in from the roof, too, so I guess we'd have to sprinkle the perimeter there, too.Just to be more clear, in the colonial homes in Granada there is generally a courtyard space smack dab in the middle of the house. That's why much of the house is essentially outdoors. I don't have great pictures to demonstrate this, but this is the middle of our house. The area you see on the left of that picture is the roof of the dining area and behind that is the kitchen, so both are covered but completely open to the middle courtyard. There is also a large living area on the other side of that that is open (no doors) but covered by the crappy tile roof you can catch a glimpse of on the right (this picture was taken from the second-floor office, which is likewise covered but open to the courtyard area in the middle. So it's very tricky to keep any creatures out of there. We've considered putting a foot or so of mesh/wiring around the perimeter of the courtyard roof, but the aesthetics are not pleasing, and unless we get a metal roof it won't help that much in any case.
Anyway, I really appreciate the suggestions and will look into them!
Last edited by a moderator:
roadkill1292
Footballguy
While I was eating corn at dinner tonight (I know, I can't wait, either), I realized how irrationally angry I am at decorative salt shakers. Am I such a grumpy old cuss to ask for an effing salt shaker that says "SALT" somewhere on it?
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
Must be flying scorpions. You're screwed.
Sarnoff
Footballguy
I can't stand when I go to someone's house and they've mixed up which one is for salt, and which is for pepper. If they're not clearly marked, that doesn't mean they're interchangeable, people. There's a reason one has more holes in the top. A hundred times more annoying than having the toilet paper installed the wrong way.
FatMax
Member
There's a wrong way to install toilet paper?A hundred times more annoying than having the toilet paper installed the wrong way.
krista4
Footballguy
They don't have to fly to get up there. They craaaaaaaaawl.'sack, please send me friend invite on FB. I miss seeing your shenanigans, pics, etc.
krista4
Footballguy
BTW, Frosti, "Krippling" is not the same as "Hippling". I read through the rest of the thread first so that I can consolidate replies--see my immediately first reply to Bob Sacamano, for instance--and make sure I'm not making the same comment that's already been made (unless I'm just agreeing). Hippling is someone going back in time and not taking into account the subsequent posts.
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
And everywhere, too. Most of the scorpions we've found have been dead, in the pool skimmer. I think they believe they've found a safe place, so they crawl in through the hole in the lid and eventually drown. My wife won't empty the basker because of this. They freak her out in a major way.One night Mrs. S and I were getting a little friendly by the pool. As the wavemaking was about to commence, I noticed something in the pool and was foolish enough to check it out before I got in.the pool, I meanIt was a scorpion, dead under 5 feet of water.And that was the end of that. No more pool time. No more wave making.
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
What in the hell are you talking about? You always struck me as an intelligent person.Mr. krista is currently making bacon. A day after I gave up meat again.
Steve Tasker
Footballguy
What in the hell are you talking about? You always struck me as an intelligent person.Mr. krista is currently making bacon. A day after I gave up meat again.
Poor Mr. Krista
krista4
Footballguy
And everywhere, too. Most of the scorpions we've found have been dead, in the pool skimmer. I think they believe they've found a safe place, so they crawl in through the hole in the lid and eventually drown. My wife won't empty the basker because of this. They freak her out in a major way.One night Mrs. S and I were getting a little friendly by the pool. As the wavemaking was about to commence, I noticed something in the pool and was foolish enough to check it out before I got in.the pool, I meanIt was a scorpion, dead under 5 feet of water.And that was the end of that. No more pool time. No more wave making.
That's just awful. Little dickmittens.Re: meat, I was a vegetarian for a couple of years and then a pescatarian for several years...until we moved to Memphis. Haven't been feeling well for some weeks/months and decided on a few lifestyle changes, including nixing the meat again and generally eating healthier, no more soda, and actually exercising regularly. Wine consumption, however, will remain at current levels.
krista4
Footballguy
You want I should fax you some bacon?What in the hell are you talking about? You always struck me as an intelligent person.Mr. krista is currently making bacon. A day after I gave up meat again.
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
Little-known fact: bacon is not meat. Bacon was Jesus' gift to Darwin when he was elected supreme pope of deciding who gets to live and who has to die. Bacon is almost literally manna from heaven... and science... and to not partake reduces your chances of Darwin picking to you to continue living on this great rock. Eat the bacon and make Darwin and Jesus happy.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Pretty terrible combo there.And
Insane like a fox.
Me too. WTF.
Last edited by a moderator:
Steve Tasker
Footballguy
I've been waiting for a different FBG to mail me bacon for years. This will suffice.You want I should fax you some bacon?What in the hell are you talking about? You always struck me as an intelligent person.Mr. krista is currently making bacon. A day after I gave up meat again.
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
Tell me about it. I'm gonna sting one of those little ####s on their **** and see how they like it. I chose wine over soda, too. I haven't had a soda since father's day. I've had lots of bacon, though.<----- Living FOREVERAnd everywhere, too. Most of the scorpions we've found have been dead, in the pool skimmer. I think they believe they've found a safe place, so they crawl in through the hole in the lid and eventually drown. My wife won't empty the basker because of this. They freak her out in a major way.One night Mrs. S and I were getting a little friendly by the pool. As the wavemaking was about to commence, I noticed something in the pool and was foolish enough to check it out before I got in.the pool, I meanIt was a scorpion, dead under 5 feet of water.And that was the end of that. No more pool time. No more wave making.
Last edited by a moderator:
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Mrs. Sack did the same thing a year ago after reading Jonathan Safran Foer's Eating Animals. I haven't followed because I've gotten into weight lifting* and need the animal protein. But I only eat meat 2-3 times a week now. And I tend to stick to red as cows are more ethically treated (if you get grass fed, free range, etc.).Mr. krista is currently making bacon. A day after I gave up meat again.
*I plan on arm wrestling Finless when he's clean and sober. First we'll see whose giant schlong is the giantest of them all, then will come the feats of strength.
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Steve Tasker
Footballguy
I'm a 3-4 days a week vegetarian too. I'm no health nut, but I feel better than I have in years. I do crave greasy burgers and bacon a hell of a lot more though.Mrs. Sack did the same thing a year ago after reading Jonathan Safran Foer's Eating Animals. I haven't followed because I've gotten into weight lifting* and need the animal protein. But I only eat meat 2-3 times a week now. And I tend to stick to red as cows are more ethically treated (if you get grass fed, free range, etc.).Mr. krista is currently making bacon. A day after I gave up meat again.
*I plan on arm wrestling Finless when he's clean and sober. First we'll see whose giant schlong is the giantest of them all, then will come the feats of strength.
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Thank god you haven't turned to the dark side. I was worried for a minute there.And everywhere, too. Most of the scorpions we've found have been dead, in the pool skimmer. I think they believe they've found a safe place, so they crawl in through the hole in the lid and eventually drown. My wife won't empty the basker because of this. They freak her out in a major way.One night Mrs. S and I were getting a little friendly by the pool. As the wavemaking was about to commence, I noticed something in the pool and was foolish enough to check it out before I got in.
the pool, I mean
It was a scorpion, dead under 5 feet of water.
And that was the end of that. No more pool time. No more wave making.
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Nah. I never liked either much.*MANALERT* Sack said he doesn't love bacon *MANALERT*I'm a 3-4 days a week vegetarian too. I'm no health nut, but I feel better than I have in years. I do crave greasy burgers and bacon a hell of a lot more though.Mrs. Sack did the same thing a year ago after reading Jonathan Safran Foer's Eating Animals. I haven't followed because I've gotten into weight lifting* and need the animal protein. But I only eat meat 2-3 times a week now. And I tend to stick to red as cows are more ethically treated (if you get grass fed, free range, etc.).Mr. krista is currently making bacon. A day after I gave up meat again.
*I plan on arm wrestling Finless when he's clean and sober. First we'll see whose giant schlong is the giantest of them all, then will come the feats of strength.
I like bacon. I don't love bacon. I never really got the myth of bacon greatness. Bacon, to me, like cocaine. Yea, sure, it's nice, but I'll never understand why people sell their souls for it.
The thing I crave is a nice steak now and then. So I make sure to eat one once a week.
Similar threads
