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GM's thread about nothing (22 Viewers)

I used to hang our with two kids who were 3 and 4 years older than me. Both were neighbors and pretty good friends until they hit 9th grade or so. By then they couldn't disavow knowing me fast enough. The older one wasn't a huge loss. He was kind of a train wreck. The other kid though was a smart dude and into cool stuff. A really good influence. It kind of made me sad when they basically outgrew me, but it made perfect sense later. I can't imagine why a kid in high school would bother to seek out time with kids more than five years his junior.
Kind of the same here. But it didn't really start until driver's licenses were involved.But our neighborhood was a kid's heaven. 12-15 of us, all got along great, and genuinely liked and looked out for each other.
Pretty much the same deal. Tons of kids in our neighborhood. Early on, there is no huge distinction. Only once other friends start weighing in about hanging out with little kids does it become an issue within a group of kids. The other thing is that GM has known this kid Zack for a long time. His judgment is probably going to be all he needs here. As long as you're keeping tabs on your kids, I don't think there will be any problem. Still, it's difficult to imagine why a kid in high school would do any more than tolerate little kids.
My ex-wife is worried he might have some molester genes and thinks it is completely wrong for them to hang out. I think it's a little weird, but he plays with all the kids in the neighborhood. And I watch them play outside. They wrestle around, throw the football, play rough and do what we did as boys. I keep my eyes out for anything that might be troubling and I just haven't seen it. What I see is a bunch of boys being boys. I see a 13 or 14 year old boy who is bored and plays with my sons because they are there. At some point, I do think he'll grow up and want nothing to do with them. He just started HS this year and it's only been a month for him.
 
Sorry, but I'm not encouraging my elementary school kid to hang out on a regular basis with a high schooler.

Further, aside from the age difference, I'm damn sure not allowing my kids to hang out with other kids who tell my children to lie to their parents, or hide facts.

I find it pretty highly creepy that a 14 year old can only play with kids 6-8 years younger than himself.

Some kids develop a bit slower than others, I get that, but children should be playing with their peers, and this kid wouldn't be one of them.

Is it okay for them to throw a football around with him on occasion if if I'm out there, sure.

But, I'm not having them going over to his house, or having them inviting him to my house to play video games on a regular basis. I definitely lean defensive, skeptical, cynical, what have you, but I think 1-2 years age difference max, especially when kids are starting to enter high school age. I could see if this kid had a younger brother that was playing with your kids on a regular basis, but the fact he doesn't, I'd find very odd. And if the mother of my children had issues with this, I think I'd play it safe and hear her out on this case.

just my :2cents:

 
I used to hang our with two kids who were 3 and 4 years older than me. Both were neighbors and pretty good friends until they hit 9th grade or so. By then they couldn't disavow knowing me fast enough. The older one wasn't a huge loss. He was kind of a train wreck. The other kid though was a smart dude and into cool stuff. A really good influence. It kind of made me sad when they basically outgrew me, but it made perfect sense later.

I can't imagine why a kid in high school would bother to seek out time with kids more than five years his junior.
Kind of the same here. But it didn't really start until driver's licenses were involved.

But our neighborhood was a kid's heaven. 12-15 of us, all got along great, and genuinely liked and looked out for each other.
Pretty much the same deal. Tons of kids in our neighborhood. Early on, there is no huge distinction. Only once other friends start weighing in about hanging out with little kids does it become an issue within a group of kids. The other thing is that GM has known this kid Zack for a long time. His judgment is probably going to be all he needs here. As long as you're keeping tabs on your kids, I don't think there will be any problem. Still, it's difficult to imagine why a kid in high school would do any more than tolerate little kids.
Same situation in my neighborhood growing up. At some point in my childhood, I am sure I played with both older and younger kids. GM's kids are probably pretty smart, and if this kid isn't quite as far along developmentally, they may all get along fine right now. I can see how Flags might have an issue with the age difference now, and how it probably will become kind of a weird situation as time goes on.In my opinion, the bigger issue is the whole 'telling him to lie' thing. Regardless of the age gap, I can imagine that I wouldn't want my kid to hang out with someone who influenced him to do something he (the older kid) probably knew was wrong, and then told him to lie about it afterwards.
This. I would worry about this first. Seems like your son earned a valuable lesson.The age difference will sort itself out. Are there other older kids in the neighborhood but Zack chooses to play with the younger kids, or are your kids the only kids around to play with? That might explain some of it.

FWIW, I live in a great neighborhood with kids from 6th grade ( my youngest) to seniors in HS (including 12 boys between 6th and 9th grade). There are times they ALL play together - whether it be whiffleball, football, capture the flag whatever but the High School kids don't seek out the younger kids to play with them unless they are already out and about. Big difference between neighborhood kids joining a game that is going on and much older kids coming over to "hangout" with kids a lot younger than they are. As your own boys mature they will figure out that there alot of other things they would rather do than hang out with Zach.

 
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Parenting dilemma...this might be long.On Saturday, I received a text message from my wife saying we had a problem. Our youngest son Cooper got mad at his older brother Kellen and decided to retaliate against him by essentially ratting him out for something he did this summer. Kellen is 9. Across the street lives a boy named Zack, who is now a freshman in high school. I like Zack, but he's kind of an awkward kid. He's not every big for his size and if you didn't know better, you'd assume he was much younger than he truly is. I also like Zack's mom Angie, whom I have known since we moved into this house back in 2001. Zack comes to our house to play with the boys and he invites them to his house too. While I like him, my ex-wife does not and hates the idea of a freshman in high school playing with boys much younger. While it is a bit odd, I don't think it's nearly as strange as she does and I allow them to play. Again, I know his mom well and I've known Zack since he was 2 years old. They ride bikes, throw the football, smash rocks...they do what boys do and so I don't restrict their involvement. In fact, there are other boys in the neighborhood who play with Zack and my boys too. Now, here's what happened. This summer, Zach talked Kellen into riding his scooter with him up to a Plaid Pantry (like a 7-11). It's not THAT far away, but it is on a busy road and I would probably have told Kellen 'no' had he asked me if he could ride his scooter there. However, we didn't get that opportunity because Zach told Kellen NOT to tell his parents. And we probably would have never known about it except that Kellen pissed his brother off and his brother ratted him out. Cooper knew about it because Zach asked him to go to Plaid Pantry too and Cooper said 'no'. So I have one kid who caved to the peer pressure and one kid who did not. Batting .500 here, which given my pedigree with peer pressure is a huge win. :thumbup: So, obviously the big problem is that Zack told Kellen to lie to his parents about going to Plaid Pantry. After talking to my wife about it, we decided to punish Kellen for a week with no video games on the computer, which is what he loves to do for fun. However, after talking to my ex-wife about it today, she wants to basically keep our sons from ever playing with Zack again. She thinks it is a HUGE red flag that a kid in HS plays with kids who are in 3rd and 4th grade and she does not want them every playing with him again. My wife and I both think that is a little extreme and we are of the mind that boys will be boys and we can't keep them from making mistakes in life. What we can do is address mistakes when they happen and try to work through them. To that end, I have agreed to talk to Zack and his mother about what happened. I'm not so upset that they walk or ride up to Plaid Pantry. As long as I know about it, I'm actually okay with it. But asking a 4th grader to lie to his parents about it is wrong and it needs to be addressed. I just don't think prohibiting them from ever playing together again is wrong. But it is what their mother (my ex wife) wants and so now, we're kind of battling it out a little over email. Any tips or advise?
I think it's a pretty big red flag as well that a HS freshman is seeking out kids that young as friends. I certainly wouldn't let them play together unsupervised at all.
 
I used to hang our with two kids who were 3 and 4 years older than me. Both were neighbors and pretty good friends until they hit 9th grade or so. By then they couldn't disavow knowing me fast enough. The older one wasn't a huge loss. He was kind of a train wreck. The other kid though was a smart dude and into cool stuff. A really good influence. It kind of made me sad when they basically outgrew me, but it made perfect sense later.

I can't imagine why a kid in high school would bother to seek out time with kids more than five years his junior.
Kind of the same here. But it didn't really start until driver's licenses were involved.

But our neighborhood was a kid's heaven. 12-15 of us, all got along great, and genuinely liked and looked out for each other.
Pretty much the same deal. Tons of kids in our neighborhood. Early on, there is no huge distinction. Only once other friends start weighing in about hanging out with little kids does it become an issue within a group of kids. The other thing is that GM has known this kid Zack for a long time. His judgment is probably going to be all he needs here. As long as you're keeping tabs on your kids, I don't think there will be any problem. Still, it's difficult to imagine why a kid in high school would do any more than tolerate little kids.
Same situation in my neighborhood growing up. At some point in my childhood, I am sure I played with both older and younger kids. GM's kids are probably pretty smart, and if this kid isn't quite as far along developmentally, they may all get along fine right now. I can see how Flags might have an issue with the age difference now, and how it probably will become kind of a weird situation as time goes on.In my opinion, the bigger issue is the whole 'telling him to lie' thing. Regardless of the age gap, I can imagine that I wouldn't want my kid to hang out with someone who influenced him to do something he (the older kid) probably knew was wrong, and then told him to lie about it afterwards.
This. I would worry about this first. Seems like your son earned a valuable lesson.The age difference will sort itself out. Are there other older kids in the neighborhood but Zack chooses to play with the younger kids, or are your kids the only kids around to play with? That might explain some of it.

FWIW, I live in a great neighborhood with kids from 6th grade ( my youngest) to seniors in HS (including 12 boys between 6th and 9th grade). There are times they ALL play together - whether it be whiffleball, football, capture the flag whatever but the High School kids don't seek out the younger kids to play with them unless they are already out and about. Big difference between neighborhood kids joining a game that is going on and much older kids coming over to "hangout" with kids a lot younger than they are. As your own boys mature they will figure out that there alot of other things they would rather do than hang out with Zach.
There's a family next door to us with two boys. One is a sophomore in HS and the other is 10 (5th grade). The sophomore is outside all the time shooting hoops. Nice kid, but he has no interest in hanging out with the younger kids. He also NEVER plays with Zack. I've never seen them shoot hoops or do anything together. Typically, the boys are just out in the front yards, playing football, tag, wrestling, riding bikes. That's how their friendship developed. I do think it's a little strange that he wants to hang out with kids much younger, but again, I don't think he has many friends his own age. I don't know if he's just unpopular or shy or what. I don't think he's a bad kid, but I do think he needs to answer for taking my son to Plaid Pantry and having him lie to us about it. I'd like to hear him explain that to me.
 
Parenting dilemma...this might be long.On Saturday, I received a text message from my wife saying we had a problem. Our youngest son Cooper got mad at his older brother Kellen and decided to retaliate agaoinst him by essentially ratting him out for something he did this summer. Kellen is 9. Across the street lives a boy named Zack, who is now a freshman in high school. I like Zack, but he's kind of an awkward kid. He's not every big for his size and if you didn't know better, you'd assume he was much younger than he truly is. I also like Zack's mom Angie, whom I have known since we moved into this house back in 2001. Zack comes to our house to play with the boys and he invites them to his house too. While I like him, my ex-wife does not and hates the idea of a freshman in high school playing with boys much younger. While it is a bit odd, I don't think it's nearly as strange as she does and I allow them to play. Again, I know his mom well and I've known Zack since he was 2 years old. They ride bikes, throw the football, smash rocks...they do what boys do and so I don't restrict their involvement. In fact, there are other boys in the neighborhood who play with Zack and my boys too. Now, here's what happened. This summer, Zach talked Kellen into riding his scooter with him up to a Plaid Pantry (like a 7-11). It's not THAT far away, but it is on a busy road and I would probably have told Kellen 'no' had he asked me if he could ride his scooter there. However, we didn't get that opportunity because Zach told Kellen NOT to tell his parents. And we probably would have never known about it except that Kellen pissed his brother off and his brother ratted him out. Cooper knew about it because Zach asked him to go to Plaid Pantry too and Cooper said 'no'. So I have one kid who caved to the peer pressure and one kid who did not. Batting .500 here, which given my pedigree with peer pressure is a huge win. :thumbup: So, obviously the big problem is that Zack told Kellen to lie to his parents about going to Plaid Pantry. After talking to my wife about it, we decided to punish Kellen for a week with no video games on the computer, which is what he loves to do for fun. However, after talking to my ex-wife about it today, she wants to basically keep our sons from ever playing with Zack again. She thinks it is a HUGE red flag that a kid in HS plays with kids who are in 3rd and 4th grade and she does not want them every playing with him again. My wife and I both think that is a little extreme and we are of the mind that boys will be boys and we can't keep them from making mistakes in life. What we can do is address mistakes when they happen and try to work through them. To that end, I have agreed to talk to Zack and his mother about what happened. I'm not so upset that they walk or ride up to Plaid Pantry. As long as I know about it, I'm actually okay with it. But asking a 4th grader to lie to his parents about it is wrong and it needs to be addressed. I just don't think prohibiting them from ever playing together again is wrong. But it is what their mother (my ex wife) wants and so now, we're kind of battling it out a little over email. Any tips or advise?
I have to agree with your ex-wife on this...a bit. Zack sounds like a nice kid but there really is something weird about a 14 year old hanging out with 10 year olds. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong going on but it is strange. And if he's being a negative influence on your boy(s) that's another problem. Bottom line is that I'm thankful I don't have an ex-wife.
I just don't know how practical it is to keep them from ever playing with him. I mean...if they are outside riding Bikes and Zack shows up, do they have to come inside? There's a boy next door to us who is in 5th grade and they play together all the time. If they are over there and Zack comes over, do my boys need to leave and come home? I'm just not sure how that is supposed to work. But I do understand the concerns and my antennae is up for sure.
I cant believe you used antennae properly then screwed up the s/v agreement
 
'Bogart said:
My soldier showed up for duty, but there was no finish to be had. So before check-out, I basically became a human Sybian for an hour straight, and everyone went home happy.
Tell me about your diet and exercise regimen. :clickspen:
1. Get sick with allergies.2. Chew Advil Allergy and Congestion Relief every 4 hours on the hour without fail for three days.3. Forget to drink plenty of fluids, spend Friday night at Cowboy Stadium playing on the field and waiting in line for 8 oz waters, one per customer.4. Wake up Sunday morning and watch your morning pee look like corn syrup coming out of the tap, worry about your well being, realize you have 3 hours of hotel time left.5. Forsake your well being to be a sex toy and have your partner reach double digits for O's for the weekend, ego puffed up; possible death coming6. Deal with a 24 hour headache as you pound Gatorade and water, but convincing yourself it was worth it.7. Profit.
 
Parenting dilemma...this might be long.On Saturday, I received a text message from my wife saying we had a problem. Our youngest son Cooper got mad at his older brother Kellen and decided to retaliate agaoinst him by essentially ratting him out for something he did this summer. Kellen is 9. Across the street lives a boy named Zack, who is now a freshman in high school. I like Zack, but he's kind of an awkward kid. He's not every big for his size and if you didn't know better, you'd assume he was much younger than he truly is. I also like Zack's mom Angie, whom I have known since we moved into this house back in 2001. Zack comes to our house to play with the boys and he invites them to his house too. While I like him, my ex-wife does not and hates the idea of a freshman in high school playing with boys much younger. While it is a bit odd, I don't think it's nearly as strange as she does and I allow them to play. Again, I know his mom well and I've known Zack since he was 2 years old. They ride bikes, throw the football, smash rocks...they do what boys do and so I don't restrict their involvement. In fact, there are other boys in the neighborhood who play with Zack and my boys too. Now, here's what happened. This summer, Zach talked Kellen into riding his scooter with him up to a Plaid Pantry (like a 7-11). It's not THAT far away, but it is on a busy road and I would probably have told Kellen 'no' had he asked me if he could ride his scooter there. However, we didn't get that opportunity because Zach told Kellen NOT to tell his parents. And we probably would have never known about it except that Kellen pissed his brother off and his brother ratted him out. Cooper knew about it because Zach asked him to go to Plaid Pantry too and Cooper said 'no'. So I have one kid who caved to the peer pressure and one kid who did not. Batting .500 here, which given my pedigree with peer pressure is a huge win. :thumbup: So, obviously the big problem is that Zack told Kellen to lie to his parents about going to Plaid Pantry. After talking to my wife about it, we decided to punish Kellen for a week with no video games on the computer, which is what he loves to do for fun. However, after talking to my ex-wife about it today, she wants to basically keep our sons from ever playing with Zack again. She thinks it is a HUGE red flag that a kid in HS plays with kids who are in 3rd and 4th grade and she does not want them every playing with him again. My wife and I both think that is a little extreme and we are of the mind that boys will be boys and we can't keep them from making mistakes in life. What we can do is address mistakes when they happen and try to work through them. To that end, I have agreed to talk to Zack and his mother about what happened. I'm not so upset that they walk or ride up to Plaid Pantry. As long as I know about it, I'm actually okay with it. But asking a 4th grader to lie to his parents about it is wrong and it needs to be addressed. I just don't think prohibiting them from ever playing together again is wrong. But it is what their mother (my ex wife) wants and so now, we're kind of battling it out a little over email. Any tips or advise?
I have to agree with your ex-wife on this...a bit. Zack sounds like a nice kid but there really is something weird about a 14 year old hanging out with 10 year olds. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong going on but it is strange. And if he's being a negative influence on your boy(s) that's another problem. Bottom line is that I'm thankful I don't have an ex-wife.
I just don't know how practical it is to keep them from ever playing with him. I mean...if they are outside riding Bikes and Zack shows up, do they have to come inside? There's a boy next door to us who is in 5th grade and they play together all the time. If they are over there and Zack comes over, do my boys need to leave and come home? I'm just not sure how that is supposed to work. But I do understand the concerns and my antennae is up for sure.
I cant believe you used antennae properly then screwed up the s/v agreement
:bag:
 
Oh and did you have a discussion with Cooper about not being such a narc?
That does kinda bother me. I mean, I'm glad he told us, but to rat your brother out like that? He sat on it for like a whole month too. As I told Kellen long ago, he better start being nicer to Cooper because Cooper isn't going to put up with his crap.
 
She used to do yardwork in a bikini top. It was...strange. She got divorced about a year after we moved into the neighborhood. I didn't know her ex-husband very well, but he used to wear a Rashaan Salaam (sp?) Bears jersey. I thought that was funny. Had to be the only guy in the world with one of those. Well, other than Rashaan. She got re-married to a guy named Paul. I like Paul. I see him outside smoking cigarettes every now and then. I think they both might be closet smokers and that makes me like them a little more. :thumbup:
 
She used to do yardwork in a bikini top. It was...strange. She got divorced about a year after we moved into the neighborhood. I didn't know her ex-husband very well, but he used to wear a Rashaan Salaam (sp?) Bears jersey. I thought that was funny. Had to be the only guy in the world with one of those. Well, other than Rashaan. She got re-married to a guy named Paul. I like Paul. I see him outside smoking cigarettes every now and then. I think they both might be closet smokers and that makes me like them a little more. :thumbup:
Know the guy that was Rashaan's weed dealer. We still blame him for his demise.
 
She used to do yardwork in a bikini top. It was...strange. She got divorced about a year after we moved into the neighborhood. I didn't know her ex-husband very well, but he used to wear a Rashaan Salaam (sp?) Bears jersey. I thought that was funny. Had to be the only guy in the world with one of those. Well, other than Rashaan. She got re-married to a guy named Paul. I like Paul. I see him outside smoking cigarettes every now and then. I think they both might be closet smokers and that makes me like them a little more. :thumbup:
Know the guy that was Rashaan's weed dealer. We still blame him for his demise.
:lmao:
 

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