Do not ask for the texts.I've never looked at her phone to see what type of things she texts with her ex-boyfriend, but I would interested to see them and I could easily do so if I wanted without her knowing. But that just feels way too much like the type of thing that my crazy ex would do.
Do you think I should ask her tonight if I could see the texts from her ex-boyfriend, as that might put me more at ease about the nature of their relationship? She has asked to see emails from my ex, and I have showed them to her. If she resists, that is another thing that I think would make me walk.
I'm just kind of on the fence about whether I should ask to see the text messages. It's not something that I would normally do.
Uhh..She paid for her ex-boyfriend's cell phone plan for over a year after they broke up. Oh god, am I dating Woz?!? He repaid her by cleaning her bathrooms every month. While I got some slight enjoyment knowing that her ex was scrubbing my fecal matter from the inside the toilet bowl, I eventually told her that arrangment needed to stop, so she eventually cut him off of her plan.It's the ongoing joint cell phone plan that really gets you in trouble.
Yeah. That whole exchange is, um, well...Mr. Pickles said:Uhh..Buckfast 1 said:She paid for her ex-boyfriend's cell phone plan for over a year after they broke up. Oh god, am I dating Woz?!? He repaid her by cleaning her bathrooms every month. While I got some slight enjoyment knowing that her ex was scrubbing my fecal matter from the inside the toilet bowl, I eventually told her that arrangment needed to stop, so she eventually cut him off of her plan.Mr. Pickles said:It's the ongoing joint cell phone plan that really gets you in trouble.
Agreed, I would looks at the texts without her knowing thoughSIDA! said:Do not ask for the texts.Buckfast 1 said:I've never looked at her phone to see what type of things she texts with her ex-boyfriend, but I would interested to see them and I could easily do so if I wanted without her knowing. But that just feels way too much like the type of thing that my crazy ex would do.
Do you think I should ask her tonight if I could see the texts from her ex-boyfriend, as that might put me more at ease about the nature of their relationship? She has asked to see emails from my ex, and I have showed them to her. If she resists, that is another thing that I think would make me walk.
I'm just kind of on the fence about whether I should ask to see the text messages. It's not something that I would normally do.
Replace 28 dry aged Ribeye with Big Mac, does it still taste as good?Serious hypothetical...
Replace the ex with her gay male BFF, everything else remains the same.
Does the relationship still bother you?
FYPHarry Manback said:There's 100% a difference between going to lunch with a girl vs dinner.jonessed said:That really doesn't make sense. If they are close enough to have sex it's going to happen eventually, whether it's over lunch or over dinner. It's really just a product of frequency of contact.Buckfast 1 said:I feel like there is a difference between having a mid-day lunch at a restaurant and having dinner over at her place. I suppose it just seems less likely to lead to something inappropriate.gianmarco said:Wha??!?Buckfast 1 said:I really don't even have a problem if they want to grab lunch together on rare occasions. But I think that I should draw a line saying that I don't think it is appropriate for them to have dinner together
How do you feel about breakfast? Midafternoon snacks? WTF does the type of meal matter here?
After dinner you get drinks, after drinks you go back to their place.
After lunch you typically goyour separate ways#### right away.
I'm just trying to discern the real root of his problem with them hanging out. He says he isn't concerned about sexual infidelity.Replace 28 dry aged Ribeye with Big Mac, does it still taste as good?Serious hypothetical...
Replace the ex with her gay male BFF, everything else remains the same.
Does the relationship still bother you?
you should be so luckyBuckfast 1 said:Mr. Pickles said:It's the ongoing joint cell phone plan that really gets you in trouble.
She paid for her ex-boyfriend's cell phone plan for over a year after they broke up. Oh god, am I dating Woz?!? He repaid her by cleaning her bathrooms every month. While I got some slight enjoyment knowing that her ex was scrubbing my fecal matter from the inside the toilet bowl, I eventually told her that arrangment needed to stop, so she eventually cut him off of her plan.
I'm not exactly sure about all of the details, but I know that it wasn't a particularly bad or hostile break up. I know that she was the one that broke up with him. I think that, after being together for 6 years, she just didn't feel like he was the one that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with and decided to move on. She said that their relationship became pretty passionless and that they rarely had sex. Strangely, she's also mentioned that she thinks he was addicted to porn. I think part of the reason that she has stayed friends with him is because I think she kind of felt bad about breaking up with him for no other reason than just deciding that he wasn't the one for her after 6 years. I think he took the breakup pretty rough, and she tried to help and encourage him to get his life back together. Considering the circumstances of the breakup, I think it makes it even less likely that she would ever want to go back to him. Again, that has never been my concern with the ex-boyfriend stuff.fantasycurse42 said:Can we look at this rationally without every ####### in here accusing someone of being a ##### or someone else insecure:
Why did their relationship end? This is important...It has nothing to do with insecurities, it has to do with rationale thinking, which leads me to believe there is still some unfinished business here (and clearly the OP has his concerns too)... Just my
- They still enjoy being together
- They share secrets and ask each other for advice
- They still had a financial connection for a while after the breakup
- They still do a lot of activities together
Plenty of them. Everywhere.Bucky86 said:Denver is a pretty outdoorsy city. I wonder if they have cafes that allow you to dine with your dog outside?Card Trader said:They take the dog to dinner with them?Bucky86 said:Or they didn't have a nasty break up and just misses the damn dog?Card Trader said:She may not be sleeping with him, but he definitely wants to. No other reason for him to put in that time and effort.
Absolutely not.Buckfast 1 said:I've never looked at her phone to see what type of things she texts with her ex-boyfriend, but I would interested to see them and I could easily do so if I wanted without her knowing. But that just feels way too much like the type of thing that my crazy ex would do.
Do you think I should ask her tonight if I could see the texts from her ex-boyfriend, as that might put me more at ease about the nature of their relationship? She has asked to see emails from my ex, and I have showed them to her. If she resists, that is another thing that I think would make me walk.
I'm just kind of on the fence about whether I should ask to see the text messages. It's not something that I would normally do.
So set her up with the girlfriend's ex. Win-winBuckfast 1 said:Yeah, she's currently single in Denver. I wouldn't wish that burden on my worst enemy.Are you the guy who's ex won second place in some online contest which was shrouded by shenanigans?
What's she up to these days?
If she really cared about this care she'd cut him off. He still inevitably wants to bang her. She's essentially just teasing/torturing him and he's an idiot for letting her do it.I'm not exactly sure about all of the details, but I know that it wasn't a particularly bad or hostile break up. I know that she was the one that broke up with him. I think that, after being together for 6 years, she just didn't feel like he was the one that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with and decided to move on. She said that their relationship became pretty passionless and that they rarely had sex. Strangely, she's also mentioned that she thinks he was addicted to porn. I think part of the reason that she has stayed friends with him is because I think she kind of felt bad about breaking up with him for no other reason than just deciding that he wasn't the one for her after 6 years. I think he took the breakup pretty rough, and she tried to help and encourage him to get his life back together. Considering the circumstances of the breakup, I think it makes it even less likely that she would ever want to go back to him. Again, that has never been my concern with the ex-boyfriend stuff.fantasycurse42 said:Can we look at this rationally without every ####### in here accusing someone of being a ##### or someone else insecure:
Why did their relationship end? This is important...It has nothing to do with insecurities, it has to do with rationale thinking, which leads me to believe there is still some unfinished business here (and clearly the OP has his concerns too)... Just my
- They still enjoy being together
- They share secrets and ask each other for advice
- They still had a financial connection for a while after the breakup
- They still do a lot of activities together
No, the same relationship with her gay best friend wouldn't bother me. It's not like she spends an inordinate amount of time with him, but I just think the contact is more than what I think is appropriate for an ex-boyfriend.Serious hypothetical...
Replace the ex with her gay male BFF, everything else remains the same.
Does the relationship still bother you?
So it is your fear that there may be a rekindling of an emotional or physical relationship.No, the same relationship with her gay best friend wouldn't bother me. It's not like she spends an inordinate amount of time with him, but I just think the contact is more than what I think is appropriate for an ex-boyfriend.Serious hypothetical...
Replace the ex with her gay male BFF, everything else remains the same.
Does the relationship still bother you?
Every relationship is a negotiation. If Buckfast doesn't feel comfortable with her still talking to the ex, he has the right to say so. She then has the right to say tough #### and end it. Neither side is being unreasonable. It's a question of what you can tolerate. I think it's really weird for them to still speak. The only exes I remained "friends" with, I either wanted another crack at a relationship or I wanted sex. Maybe others genuinely remain friends with exes and their SO's have no issue with it. Bravo. A lot of people wouldn't like it though.Harry Manback said:I can't emphasize how wrong this is.Asking someone to break off all contact is insane, controlling and she'd be smart to dump HIM.McGarnicle said:Just tell her you're not comfortable with their relationship. Most people wouldn't be, and I think any expert on the subject would say it's not healthy for her to still be friends with the guy. If she can't break off contact, I don't see how you can stay with her and not keep getting more and more annoyed.Buckfast 1 said:I've never looked at her phone to see what type of things she texts with her ex-boyfriend, but I would interested to see them and I could easily do so if I wanted without her knowing. But that just feels way too much like the type of thing that my crazy ex would do.Do you think I should ask her tonight if I could see the texts from her ex-boyfriend, as that might put me more at ease about the nature of their relationship? She has asked to see emails from my ex, and I have showed them to her. If she resists, that is another thing that I think would make me walk.I'm just kind of on the fence about whether I should ask to see the text messages. It's not something that I would normally do.
Now, saying something like GM proposed, is fine. Suggesting contact be eased back, less phone calls/dinners/playdates with the dog at her house is one thing.
But to give an ultimatum of "No contact" is silly and childish.
Sounds like they have a joint cooch too.Ditka Butkus said:but they have the joint poochCard Trader said:She may not be sleeping with him, but he definitely wants to. No other reason for him to put in that time and effort.
Not one that I banged for 6 years, no.Seems like most people in the FFA have never had a female friend.
Many here seem to believe that is an impossibility.Seems like most people in the FFA have never had a female friend.
Sounds like they have a joint cooch too.Ditka Butkus said:but they have the joint poochCard Trader said:She may not be sleeping with him, but he definitely wants to. No other reason for him to put in that time and effort.
Funny thing is I can only be friends with them after I bang them---before that all I want to do is bang them.Not one that I banged for 6 years, no.Seems like most people in the FFA have never had a female friend.
One of my exes that I remained friends with ended up becoming so close to my wife she thought of her as a sister. This is a woman I had sex with off and on starting when we were 15.Not one that I banged for 6 years, no.Seems like most people in the FFA have never had a female friend.
Heh. Join the club.Funny thing is I can only be friends with them after I bang them---before that all I want to do is bang them.Not one that I banged for 6 years, no.Seems like most people in the FFA have never had a female friend.
I'd be less worried about the guy she banged for six years and decided he wasn't the one than the new guy in the office with whom she's spending extra time after work...Not one that I banged for 6 years, no.Seems like most people in the FFA have never had a female friend.
I am generally really happy with the relationship overall. She's one of my favorite people that I've ever met in my life. We make a great couple and live an amazing life together.Also, another question...
Subtracting out your concerns about her and the ex...
Are you getting everything out of the relationship that you need? Sexually, emotionally, intellectually?
If you're confident she's not having sex with him, and you are getting everything you need from the relationship - then what does it matter if she's at the dog park with him or doing pilates during the time you're apart?
Now, if you're not getting something you need from the relationship...that's a different story.
ExactlyI'd be less worried about the guy she banged for six years and decided he wasn't the one than the new guy in the office with whom she's spending extra time after work...Not one that I banged for 6 years, no.Seems like most people in the FFA have never had a female friend.
not that I'd really worry about either.
Alright, you guys have convinced me not to ask about the texts. I'm really not concerned that there would be anything inappropriate there anyways. I would just end up looking bad.Absolutely not.Buckfast 1 said:I've never looked at her phone to see what type of things she texts with her ex-boyfriend, but I would interested to see them and I could easily do so if I wanted without her knowing. But that just feels way too much like the type of thing that my crazy ex would do.
Do you think I should ask her tonight if I could see the texts from her ex-boyfriend, as that might put me more at ease about the nature of their relationship? She has asked to see emails from my ex, and I have showed them to her. If she resists, that is another thing that I think would make me walk.
I'm just kind of on the fence about whether I should ask to see the text messages. It's not something that I would normally do.
Ah---the rest of the story. Did your ex cheat on you?I am generally really happy with the relationship overall. She's one of my favorite people that I've ever met in my life. We make a great couple and live an amazing life together.Also, another question...
Subtracting out your concerns about her and the ex...
Are you getting everything out of the relationship that you need? Sexually, emotionally, intellectually?
If you're confident she's not having sex with him, and you are getting everything you need from the relationship - then what does it matter if she's at the dog park with him or doing pilates during the time you're apart?
Now, if you're not getting something you need from the relationship...that's a different story.
The only real downside to the relationship is that I have hardly had any truly single time since my divorce from my ex. That issue has always kind of been in the back of my head throughout our relationship, but I kind of feel like I would probably just go out and be single for awhile and then realize that I preferred being with my current girlfriend. I actually recently discussed my desire to be single with my girlfriend, and she handled it pretty well saying that we could perhaps have a threesome sometime or have an Andrei Kirilenko-type arrangement where I could have sex with one other girl per year. I'm not sure how realistic those scenarios are, but it was a pretty cool response nonetheless.
Good lucking hetero male befriended your wife and they're spending a lot of time together wouldn't bother you?I'd be less worried about the guy she banged for six years and decided he wasn't the one than the new guy in the office with whom she's spending extra time after work...not that I'd really worry about either.Not one that I banged for 6 years, no.Seems like most people in the FFA have never had a female friend.
LolI am generally really happy with the relationship overall. She's one of my favorite people that I've ever met in my life. We make a great couple and live an amazing life together.The only real downside to the relationship is that I have hardly had any truly single time since my divorce from my ex. That issue has always kind of been in the back of my head throughout our relationship, but I kind of feel like I would probably just go out and be single for awhile and then realize that I preferred being with my current girlfriend. I actually recently discussed my desire to be single with my girlfriend, and she handled it pretty well saying that we could perhaps have a threesome sometime or have an Andrei Kirilenko-type arrangement where I could have sex with one other girl per year. I'm not sure how realistic those scenarios are, but it was a pretty cool response nonetheless.Also, another question...
Subtracting out your concerns about her and the ex...
Are you getting everything out of the relationship that you need? Sexually, emotionally, intellectually?
If you're confident she's not having sex with him, and you are getting everything you need from the relationship - then what does it matter if she's at the dog park with him or doing pilates during the time you're apart?
Now, if you're not getting something you need from the relationship...that's a different story.
Buckfast 1 said:No, the ex never cheated on me that I am aware of. She did try to kill me with deadly weapons a few times while falsely accusing me of cheating on her.Ah---the rest of the story. Did your ex cheat on you?I am generally really happy with the relationship overall. She's one of my favorite people that I've ever met in my life. We make a great couple and live an amazing life together.Also, another question...
Subtracting out your concerns about her and the ex...
Are you getting everything out of the relationship that you need? Sexually, emotionally, intellectually?
If you're confident she's not having sex with him, and you are getting everything you need from the relationship - then what does it matter if she's at the dog park with him or doing pilates during the time you're apart?
Now, if you're not getting something you need from the relationship...that's a different story.
The only real downside to the relationship is that I have hardly had any truly single time since my divorce from my ex. That issue has always kind of been in the back of my head throughout our relationship, but I kind of feel like I would probably just go out and be single for awhile and then realize that I preferred being with my current girlfriend. I actually recently discussed my desire to be single with my girlfriend, and she handled it pretty well saying that we could perhaps have a threesome sometime or have an Andrei Kirilenko-type arrangement where I could have sex with one other girl per year. I'm not sure how realistic those scenarios are, but it was a pretty cool response nonetheless.
As, Comfortably Numb said, lol. Uhh…you are such a millennial.I am generally really happy with the relationship overall. She's one of my favorite people that I've ever met in my life. We make a great couple and live an amazing life together.
The only real downside to the relationship is that I have hardly had any truly single time since my divorce from my ex. That issue has always kind of been in the back of my head throughout our relationship, but I kind of feel like I would probably just go out and be single for awhile and then realize that I preferred being with my current girlfriend. I actually recently discussed my desire to be single with my girlfriend, and she handled it pretty well saying that we could perhaps have a threesome sometime or have an Andrei Kirilenko-type arrangement where I could have sex with one other girl per year. I'm not sure how realistic those scenarios are, but it was a pretty cool response nonetheless.