My wife is really smart (1 Viewer)

[Franknbeans]

Upon seeing me eating Fig Newtons, some girl I was hooking-upw with in college asked, "You ever wonder what's inside a fig newton?"

She thought fig was some sort of synthetic creation.

-----------------------------

Just a few month's ago at work, several of us as work were talking about Andrew Zimmern's show. In particular, an episode where Andrew was eating some animal's cooked penis. I forget how we segued into it now, but I said that I would eat a bull's penis. One of the ladies then asked, "Both of them?"

Another lady and I had a puzzled look on our faces so I had to ask, "What do you mean both of them?" She then said (paraphrasing), "A bull is a big animal so it has multiple penises."

The other lady and I then stared at each other again in amazement before I explained to this adult lady the one male, one penis rule.

Snakes have two

 

[Disco Stu]

Watching Penn State's bowl game the other day for at least a half hour before my girlfriend asks if the old guy on the sideline (Joe Paterno) is the owner.

You answered Yes, right?

I just told her he was the head coach. Didn't bother trying to explain the differences between college and pro sports.To her credit the reason she asked was that he didn't appear to be doing anything and wasn't wearing headphones.During baseball season she wanted to know why teams had to keep playing games if they had no chance to make the playoffs.

We were flipping back and forth last night between MNF and the NLCS. Now in all fairness my wife is not much of a baseball fan at all. But I played softball and both of our sons played little league and some HS baseball. At one point in the baseball game somebody on the Giants hit one into the gap and headed for 2nd. I said "Nice double". The wife says "I never understood what that meant". I asked her what she meant. She said "A double. What's it mean?" Because I eventually want sex sometime in the near future I just said "It means he made it to second base. If he made it to third base on that hit it would be a triple." She just replied with "Oh."

Good thing it wasn't a grand slam or home run!

Stu: "Home run!" GF: "Wait... wasn't that a grand slam??" Stu: "No..." :raiseseyebrow: GF: "But it went over the fence." Stu: "Yeah..." :raisesothereyebrow: GF: "I thought a home run is when they run around all the bases, and a grand slam goes over the fence." Stu: :slowblink: GF: "Oh yeah! A grand slam is when he hits it out of the stadium!" Stu: "You're so pretty."

I married this woman.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Is there where we post about our wives hitting stationary items while driving into/pulling out of parking spaces that costs four digits to fix?

Twice in a few month span?

 

[offdee]

Anybody say this one yet...

In the car driving.....

I'm cold: auto thermostat up to 95 degrees

15 mins later....

I'm hot: auto thermostat down to 55 degrees

Rinse, repeat.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Watching Penn State's bowl game the other day for at least a half hour before my girlfriend asks if the old guy on the sideline (Joe Paterno) is the owner.

You answered Yes, right?

I just told her he was the head coach. Didn't bother trying to explain the differences between college and pro sports.To her credit the reason she asked was that he didn't appear to be doing anything and wasn't wearing headphones.During baseball season she wanted to know why teams had to keep playing games if they had no chance to make the playoffs.

We were flipping back and forth last night between MNF and the NLCS. Now in all fairness my wife is not much of a baseball fan at all. But I played softball and both of our sons played little league and some HS baseball. At one point in the baseball game somebody on the Giants hit one into the gap and headed for 2nd. I said "Nice double". The wife says "I never understood what that meant". I asked her what she meant. She said "A double. What's it mean?" Because I eventually want sex sometime in the near future I just said "It means he made it to second base. If he made it to third base on that hit it would be a triple." She just replied with "Oh."

Good thing it wasn't a grand slam or home run!

Stu: "Home run!" GF: "Wait... wasn't that a grand slam??" Stu: "No..." :raiseseyebrow: GF: "But it went over the fence." Stu: "Yeah..." :raisesothereyebrow: GF: "I thought a home run is when they run around all the bases, and a grand slam goes over the fence." Stu: :slowblink: GF: "Oh yeah! A grand slam is when he hits it out of the stadium!" Stu: "You're so pretty."

I married this woman.

Well to be fair she's smokin'.

 

[fasteddie_21]

Is there where we post about our wives hitting stationary items while driving into/pulling out of parking spaces that costs four digits to fix?

Twice in a few month span?

Is she Asian?

 

[Disco Stu]

Watching Penn State's bowl game the other day for at least a half hour before my girlfriend asks if the old guy on the sideline (Joe Paterno) is the owner.

You answered Yes, right?

I just told her he was the head coach. Didn't bother trying to explain the differences between college and pro sports.To her credit the reason she asked was that he didn't appear to be doing anything and wasn't wearing headphones.During baseball season she wanted to know why teams had to keep playing games if they had no chance to make the playoffs.

We were flipping back and forth last night between MNF and the NLCS. Now in all fairness my wife is not much of a baseball fan at all. But I played softball and both of our sons played little league and some HS baseball. At one point in the baseball game somebody on the Giants hit one into the gap and headed for 2nd. I said "Nice double". The wife says "I never understood what that meant". I asked her what she meant. She said "A double. What's it mean?" Because I eventually want sex sometime in the near future I just said "It means he made it to second base. If he made it to third base on that hit it would be a triple." She just replied with "Oh."

Good thing it wasn't a grand slam or home run!

Stu: "Home run!" GF: "Wait... wasn't that a grand slam??" Stu: "No..." :raiseseyebrow: GF: "But it went over the fence." Stu: "Yeah..." :raisesothereyebrow: GF: "I thought a home run is when they run around all the bases, and a grand slam goes over the fence." Stu: :slowblink: GF: "Oh yeah! A grand slam is when he hits it out of the stadium!" Stu: "You're so pretty."

I married this woman.

Well to be fair she's smokin'.

Yeah but that not why we here.

This is...

I'm watching an Oklahoma State basketball game (I'm an alum so this has happened dozens of times in her presence).

Her (puzzled): "What does Okla Street mean?"

Me: "Umm... Okla St is short for Oklahoma State."

Her: "But then why doesn't Memphis have that... oh, never mind."

 

[fantasycurse42]

Before the draft:

Her: Whoever picks 1 should draft Johnny Manziel

Me: Why?

Her: So they can trade him?

Me:

Her: He is the best, right?

Me: No, but why would they trade him?

Her: To get value

Me: I love you sweetie

ETA: In this situation, the effort wins her a lot of points... Happy that she even takes an interest

 

[Disco Stu]

My son and I were discussing the Packers injury woes at wide receiver (around midseason?) when she had an idea...

"They need more blockers out there to protect them."

He is 11 and about peed his pants.

She gets it from her Filipino mom though, who was still cheering for the Packers a solid fifteen minutes after I switched the tv over to the Saints and 49ers.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Watching Penn State's bowl game the other day for at least a half hour before my girlfriend asks if the old guy on the sideline (Joe Paterno) is the owner.

You answered Yes, right?

I just told her he was the head coach. Didn't bother trying to explain the differences between college and pro sports.To her credit the reason she asked was that he didn't appear to be doing anything and wasn't wearing headphones.During baseball season she wanted to know why teams had to keep playing games if they had no chance to make the playoffs.

We were flipping back and forth last night between MNF and the NLCS. Now in all fairness my wife is not much of a baseball fan at all. But I played softball and both of our sons played little league and some HS baseball. At one point in the baseball game somebody on the Giants hit one into the gap and headed for 2nd. I said "Nice double". The wife says "I never understood what that meant". I asked her what she meant. She said "A double. What's it mean?" Because I eventually want sex sometime in the near future I just said "It means he made it to second base. If he made it to third base on that hit it would be a triple." She just replied with "Oh."

Good thing it wasn't a grand slam or home run!

Stu: "Home run!" GF: "Wait... wasn't that a grand slam??" Stu: "No..." :raiseseyebrow: GF: "But it went over the fence." Stu: "Yeah..." :raisesothereyebrow: GF: "I thought a home run is when they run around all the bases, and a grand slam goes over the fence." Stu: :slowblink: GF: "Oh yeah! A grand slam is when he hits it out of the stadium!" Stu: "You're so pretty."

I married this woman.

Well to be fair she's smokin'.

Yeah but that not why we here.

My son and I were discussing the Packers injury woes at wide receiver (around midseason?) when she had an idea...

"They need more blockers out there to protect them."

He is 11 and about peed his pants.

She gets it from her Filipino mom though, who was still cheering for the Packers a solid fifteen minutes after I switched the tv over to the Saints and 49ers.

Is her mom related to Tiger Fan's wife?

 

[top dog]

Anybody say this one yet...

In the car driving.....

I'm cold: auto thermostat up to 95 degrees

15 mins later....

I'm hot: auto thermostat down to 55 degrees

Rinse, repeat.

ha. My wife does this with the house thermostat. Or will turn down the heat because it's too hot even though it's warm enough outside that the furnace hasn't kicked on.

 

[CBusAlex]

"It's hot in here, can you turn the thermostat down?"

- Girlfriend, underneath two blankets

 

[mr. furley]

Is there where we post about our wives hitting stationary items while driving into/pulling out of parking spaces that costs four digits to fix?

Twice in a few month span?

shiiiiiiiiiiiit, my wife has backed in to a porch with her drivers side door open as she leaned out the door to make sure she wasn't going to hit anything, backed over the hood of my mom's car which was parked directly behind her in our own driveway, and backed in to my car that was parked next to hers but separated by about 4 feet.

she has had plenty more wrecks and fender benders

 

[pollardsvision]

Uh oh, TF popped the cork on driving.

 

[jplvr]

Sadly, I never made it on Family Feud.

 

[Gordo]

Not even gonna ask the aircraft carrier question. No possible way that would end well!

I'd give her 50/50 odds of knowing though.

 

[Drifter]

Anybody say this one yet...

In the car driving.....

I'm cold: auto thermostat up to 95 degrees

15 mins later....

I'm hot: auto thermostat down to 55 degrees

Rinse, repeat.

"if you turn it up higher it will get warmer faster"

 

[NCCommish]

My wife isn't allowed to touch the thermostat anymore. She will crank it down to meat locker one minute and have it at roasting temp the next. I have finally convinced her that her internal thermostat is screwed and she needs to leave it to me. Took a while but I have finally won this battle.

 

[fantasycurse42]

She just ordered the standard definition PPV movie

 

[Frostillicus]

She just ordered the standard definition PPV movie

porn?

 

[mr. furley]

She just ordered the standard definition PPV movie

porn?

all is not lost

 

[bostonfred]

I think our kid has a fever. Feel his head.

It feels fine. Your hands are cold. Again.

 

[fantasycurse42]

She just ordered the standard definition PPV movie

porn?

all is not lost

Nope

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Obligatory: My wife is so much smarter than I am in many ways but...

There are just some things I cannot get her to understand.

1. Anytime somebody in the family goes to the doctor/dentist and they prescribe those moronic 800mg tylenol/whatever tablets she insists on getting them from the pharmacy. I know that with our insurance the difference between these horse-pills and taking 4 regular OTC pills is just a couple of bucks but it drives me crazy.

2. We bought a fancy-schmancy dryer a few years ago (got a great deal on a display model). This thing has a ridiculous amount of settings. I'm pretty sure the Apollo 11 landing module had fewer buttons and knobs. All you need is a damn timer and a heat setting. One of the stupidest things about it is that it has some sort of "auto sense" mode where you put the clothes in and the dryer "senses" how wet the clothes are and then chooses the right temp and time. The wife insists on using that setting every time. It NEVER works right. You always have to reset it to run another 10-15 minutes to get the clothes totally dry. OR you can just manually set the temp to high and the timer to 40-45 mins and WALA...dry clothes.

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope. And not just that she also seems to think we need to buy "stain boosters!' or whatever. A couple of weeks ago I had to tell her "WE'RE NOT FREAKING COAL MINERS!"

 

[Frostillicus]

I assumed you were coal miners.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I assumed you were coal miners.

Your face is a coal miner.

 

[Frostillicus]

I assumed you were coal miners.

Your face is a coal miner.

It's true!

 

[ghostguy123]

The thermostat thing is just amazing to me. It's gotta be like 99% or more of females that don't understand the concept that the heat/AC does not work faster the more you turn it up or down. It reminds me of a kitten chasing a laser pointer for some reason.

And now my 9 year old daughter is killing me with it.

her- "Daddy turn the heat up, its cold"

me- "I did honey".

her- walks over to thermostat..."you didnt turn it up high enough"

....it was 63 in the house, i turned it up to 67..........................it was 88 when I walked over there, and this is after about 50 different explanations over the past few months about how it works.

So we started a new thing. She loses her new IPOD for a day every time she moves the thermostat more than 2 degrees either way. It is working very well.

What type of punishment can be done for my wife? I expect answers he folks.

 

[Henry Ford]

The thermostat thing is just amazing to me. It's gotta be like 99% or more of females that don't understand the concept that the heat/AC does not work faster the more you turn it up or down. It reminds me of a kitten chasing a laser pointer for some reason.

And now my 9 year old daughter is killing me with it.

her- "Daddy turn the heat up, its cold"

me- "I did honey".

her- walks over to thermostat..."you didnt turn it up high enough"

....it was 63 in the house, i turned it up to 67..........................it was 88 when I walked over there, and this is after about 50 different explanations over the past few months about how it works.

So we started a new thing. She loses her new IPOD for a day every time she moves the thermostat more than 2 degrees either way. It is working very well.

What type of punishment can be done for my wife? I expect answers he folks.

Have sex with her husband.

 

[pollardsvision]

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. [ Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope. And not just that she also seems to think we need to buy "stain boosters!' or whatever. A couple of weeks ago I had to tell her "WE'RE NOT FREAKING COAL MINERS!"

Maybe you haven't seen a grass stain in 7 years because your wife is a laundry wizard that refuses to cut corners.

 

[Tackling Dummies]

Obligatory: My wife is so much smarter than I am in many ways but...

There are just some things I cannot get her to understand.

1. Anytime somebody in the family goes to the doctor/dentist and they prescribe those moronic 800mg tylenol/whatever tablets she insists on getting them from the pharmacy. I know that with our insurance the difference between these horse-pills and taking 4 regular OTC pills is just a couple of bucks but it drives me crazy.

2. We bought a fancy-schmancy dryer a few years ago (got a great deal on a display model). This thing has a ridiculous amount of settings. I'm pretty sure the Apollo 11 landing module had fewer buttons and knobs. All you need is a damn timer and a heat setting. One of the stupidest things about it is that it has some sort of "auto sense" mode where you put the clothes in and the dryer "senses" how wet the clothes are and then chooses the right temp and time. The wife insists on using that setting every time. It NEVER works right. You always have to reset it to run another 10-15 minutes to get the clothes totally dry. OR you can just manually set the temp to high and the timer to 40-45 mins and WALA...dry clothes.

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope. And not just that she also seems to think we need to buy "stain boosters!' or whatever. A couple of weeks ago I had to tell her "WE'RE NOT FREAKING COAL MINERS!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6QLMUwVBeY

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. [ Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope. And not just that she also seems to think we need to buy "stain boosters!' or whatever. A couple of weeks ago I had to tell her "WE'RE NOT FREAKING COAL MINERS!"

Maybe you haven't seen a grass stain in 7 years because your wife is a laundry wizard that refuses to cut corners.

I do the laundry 90% of the time, Gomer.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Obligatory: My wife is so much smarter than I am in many ways but...

There are just some things I cannot get her to understand.

1. Anytime somebody in the family goes to the doctor/dentist and they prescribe those moronic 800mg tylenol/whatever tablets she insists on getting them from the pharmacy. I know that with our insurance the difference between these horse-pills and taking 4 regular OTC pills is just a couple of bucks but it drives me crazy.

2. We bought a fancy-schmancy dryer a few years ago (got a great deal on a display model). This thing has a ridiculous amount of settings. I'm pretty sure the Apollo 11 landing module had fewer buttons and knobs. All you need is a damn timer and a heat setting. One of the stupidest things about it is that it has some sort of "auto sense" mode where you put the clothes in and the dryer "senses" how wet the clothes are and then chooses the right temp and time. The wife insists on using that setting every time. It NEVER works right. You always have to reset it to run another 10-15 minutes to get the clothes totally dry. OR you can just manually set the temp to high and the timer to 40-45 mins and WALA...dry clothes.

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope. And not just that she also seems to think we need to buy "stain boosters!' or whatever. A couple of weeks ago I had to tell her "WE'RE NOT FREAKING COAL MINERS!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6QLMUwVBeY

That movie is terrible.

 

[Zegras11]

Me: Watching any sporting event

Her: Who's playing?

Me: A vs B.

Her: Where are they playing?

Me: They are playing at B. The home team is always the second one listed on the little TV scoreboard.

We have had this conversation about 2,697 times.

 

[Riversco]

Is this why the office at work has locks and big plastic cases around the thermostat?

 

[offdee]

Me: Watching any sporting event

Her: Who's playing?

Me: A vs B.

Her: Where are they playing?

Me: They are playing at B. The home team is always the second one listed on the little TV scoreboard.vs

We have had this conversation about 2,697 times.

Condition her to think of "vs" = "at"

 

[belljr]

Obligatory: My wife is so much smarter than I am in many ways but...

There are just some things I cannot get her to understand.

1. Anytime somebody in the family goes to the doctor/dentist and they prescribe those moronic 800mg tylenol/whatever tablets she insists on getting them from the pharmacy. I know that with our insurance the difference between these horse-pills and taking 4 regular OTC pills is just a couple of bucks but it drives me crazy.

2. We bought a fancy-schmancy dryer a few years ago (got a great deal on a display model). This thing has a ridiculous amount of settings. I'm pretty sure the Apollo 11 landing module had fewer buttons and knobs. All you need is a damn timer and a heat setting. One of the stupidest things about it is that it has some sort of "auto sense" mode where you put the clothes in and the dryer "senses" how wet the clothes are and then chooses the right temp and time. The wife insists on using that setting every time. It NEVER works right. You always have to reset it to run another 10-15 minutes to get the clothes totally dry. OR you can just manually set the temp to high and the timer to 40-45 mins and WALA...dry clothes.

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope. And not just that she also seems to think we need to buy "stain boosters!' or whatever. A couple of weeks ago I had to tell her "WE'RE NOT FREAKING COAL MINERS!"

no offense but our auto sense setting works great and you shouldn't dry everything on high....

 

[bostonfred]

Man who cut corners on laundry have holey sheet.

 

[ghostguy123]

Me: Watching any sporting event

Her: Who's playing?

Me: A vs B.

Her: Where are they playing?

Me: They are playing at B. The home team is always the second one listed on the little TV scoreboard.

We have had this conversation about 2,697 times.

CMon man, she is just trying to pretend like she cares about sports.

I think I would have to ask my wife 90000 times what kind of flowers we have outside. If I ever did ask, I would immediately just not pay attention.

Either that or she is dumb.

 

[NCCommish]

Is this why the office at work has locks and big plastic cases around the thermostat?

Yes it is

 

[pats3in4]

Me: Watching any sporting event

Her: Who's playing?

Me: A vs B.

Her: Where are they playing?

Me: They are playing at B. The home team is always the second one listed on the little TV scoreboard.

We have had this conversation about 2,697 times.

My 6yr old daughter is so proud to show me the several ways she can identify which team is home vs. away (listed 2nd on the score graphic, logos on the court/ice, the colors worn by the home fans, which team gets the most cheers, etc.).

Want me to send her over and talk to your wife?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Obligatory: My wife is so much smarter than I am in many ways but...

There are just some things I cannot get her to understand.

1. Anytime somebody in the family goes to the doctor/dentist and they prescribe those moronic 800mg tylenol/whatever tablets she insists on getting them from the pharmacy. I know that with our insurance the difference between these horse-pills and taking 4 regular OTC pills is just a couple of bucks but it drives me crazy.

2. We bought a fancy-schmancy dryer a few years ago (got a great deal on a display model). This thing has a ridiculous amount of settings. I'm pretty sure the Apollo 11 landing module had fewer buttons and knobs. All you need is a damn timer and a heat setting. One of the stupidest things about it is that it has some sort of "auto sense" mode where you put the clothes in and the dryer "senses" how wet the clothes are and then chooses the right temp and time. The wife insists on using that setting every time. It NEVER works right. You always have to reset it to run another 10-15 minutes to get the clothes totally dry. OR you can just manually set the temp to high and the timer to 40-45 mins and WALA...dry clothes.

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope. And not just that she also seems to think we need to buy "stain boosters!' or whatever. A couple of weeks ago I had to tell her "WE'RE NOT FREAKING COAL MINERS!"

no offense but our auto sense setting works great and you shouldn't dry everything on high....

Good for you. Never said I dried everything on high, Chach.

 

[Ignoramus]

Had to try Aircraft Carrier question:

Me: Do you know what an aircraft carrier is?

Her: a plane.

Me: An aircraft CARRRRIER..

Her: Is a plane.

I can't hold it anymore, i snorted laughing.

Her: What are you doing? You are a dork.

Me: An aircraft carrier is a boat.

She is shaking her head no.

Me: You know those huge boats that planes land and take off on?

Her: Those are only in the military.

Me: Yeah..

Her: You didn't say Military aircraft carrier.

I had to walk away laughing.

To be fair to her, the civilian ones are a lot different.

 

[SeaDogStat]

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. [ Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope. And not just that she also seems to think we need to buy "stain boosters!' or whatever. A couple of weeks ago I had to tell her "WE'RE NOT FREAKING COAL MINERS!"

Maybe you haven't seen a grass stain in 7 years because your wife is a laundry wizard that refuses to cut corners.

I do the laundry 90% of the time, Gomer.

So you're complaining about her using an extra half cap of detergent 10% of the time? (Assuming you are sticking to the 1/2 cap the 90% you do the laundry...you are making out like a laundry detergent boss!)

 

[Ignoramus]

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope.

They cost a little more up front, but those laundry detergent pods are great for this. We used to go through a box of detergent every couple of weeks -- just two of us, mind you -- because she'd fill that measuring scoop to the brim, despite the fact that I had taken a Sharpie and marked the line for a regular, non-crapped-in load of laundry.Since I switched us to pods we buy a box maybe once a month now. I'd estimate we save ~30% on our detergent costs.

 

[Zegras11]

Me: Watching any sporting event

Her: Who's playing?

Me: A vs B.

Her: Where are they playing?

Me: They are playing at B. The home team is always the second one listed on the little TV scoreboard.

We have had this conversation about 2,697 times.

My 6yr old daughter is so proud to show me the several ways she can identify which team is home vs. away (listed 2nd on the score graphic, logos on the court/ice, the colors worn by the home fans, which team gets the most cheers, etc.).

Want me to send her over and talk to your wife?

please

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. [ Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope. And not just that she also seems to think we need to buy "stain boosters!' or whatever. A couple of weeks ago I had to tell her "WE'RE NOT FREAKING COAL MINERS!"

Maybe you haven't seen a grass stain in 7 years because your wife is a laundry wizard that refuses to cut corners.

I do the laundry 90% of the time, Gomer.

So you're complaining about her using an extra half cap of detergent 10% of the time? (Assuming you are sticking to the 1/2 cap the 90% you do the laundry...you are making out like a laundry detergent boss!)

Yes

 

[SeaDogStat]

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. [ Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope. And not just that she also seems to think we need to buy "stain boosters!' or whatever. A couple of weeks ago I had to tell her "WE'RE NOT FREAKING COAL MINERS!"

Maybe you haven't seen a grass stain in 7 years because your wife is a laundry wizard that refuses to cut corners.

I do the laundry 90% of the time, Gomer.

So you're complaining about her using an extra half cap of detergent 10% of the time? (Assuming you are sticking to the 1/2 cap the 90% you do the laundry...you are making out like a laundry detergent boss!)

Yes

Lol...okay then

 

[psychobillies]

3. Speaking of laundry...she insists on using the recommended amount of liquid detergent in the washer. There are basically 4 adults living in our house and our clothes are not that dirty. I haven't seen a grass stain in about 7 years. Not sure how many times I've told her "just put in half a cap...these clothes aren't filthy." Nope.

They cost a little more up front, but those laundry detergent pods are great for this. We used to go through a box of detergent every couple of weeks -- just two of us, mind you -- because she'd fill that measuring scoop to the brim, despite the fact that I had taken a Sharpie and marked the line for a regular, non-crapped-in load of laundry.Since I switched us to pods we buy a box maybe once a month now. I'd estimate we save ~30% on our detergent costs.

This is very true. I will not have anything other than pods in the house. I don't do much laundry, but I remember how often we used to run out of detergent. Since we invested in those we double the time between detergent purchases. Same with the dishwasher pods, but to a lesser extent.

 

[Mookie]

Wife took car in to get that annoying squeak fixed. When they asked her if she wanted an oil change too, she said no, thinking they were tryjng to rip her off. It's been 6000 miles since we last had the oil changed.