Trouble getting pregnant? (1 Viewer)

[Zow]

thanks for that woz.

phew. that sounds potentially rough, per your closing paragraph. taking care of a newborn is brutal work- even with your own. with the looming threat of having the baby taken away at a moment's notice... woof. at least your wife doesn't have post-partum.

but whatever happens- amazing for both of you to be doing this... it's a great thing you're doing.

Trust me the realistic possibility that this may not be a permanent thing (and, frankly, ideally it's not because that means the baby is reunited with his parents) and how my wife will take it if it's not permanent scares the crap out of me.

But like everything about our process of having children, nothing is really in our control.

 

[Swing 51]

Good update!

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

I'm keeping a good thought for Woz and Mrs. Woz.

 

[The Commish]

T&P Woz....you're doing an awesome thing

 

[modogg]

thanks for that woz.

phew. that sounds potentially rough, per your closing paragraph. taking care of a newborn is brutal work- even with your own. with the looming threat of having the baby taken away at a moment's notice... woof. at least your wife doesn't have post-partum.

but whatever happens- amazing for both of you to be doing this... it's a great thing you're doing.

Trust me the realistic possibility that this may not be a permanent thing (and, frankly, ideally it's not because that means the baby is reunited with his parents) and how my wife will take it if it's not permanent scares the crap out of me.

But like everything about our process of having children, nothing is really in our control.

one of the programs I run is a foster care program. Can be brutal, but congrats on helping out with the kids. I haven't read most of this thread, but it sounds like you might be getting an infant, and if so hope that it isn't one addicted to drugs. Those little guys/girls have a horrible first 4-5 weeks, and you might get about 1.5 hours of sleep a night.

Let me know if you have questions but it sounds like you guys know a bunch about it. I do it in Philadelphia, and you are right that it is different in each state. I have a buddy who runs foster care in Arizona if you need to get certified or any of that kind of stuff.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

glll woz and congrats

 

[Zow]

glll woz and congrats

Thanks.

 

[Zow]

thanks for that woz.

phew. that sounds potentially rough, per your closing paragraph. taking care of a newborn is brutal work- even with your own. with the looming threat of having the baby taken away at a moment's notice... woof. at least your wife doesn't have post-partum.

but whatever happens- amazing for both of you to be doing this... it's a great thing you're doing.

Trust me the realistic possibility that this may not be a permanent thing (and, frankly, ideally it's not because that means the baby is reunited with his parents) and how my wife will take it if it's not permanent scares the crap out of me.

But like everything about our process of having children, nothing is really in our control.

one of the programs I run is a foster care program. Can be brutal, but congrats on helping out with the kids. I haven't read most of this thread, but it sounds like you might be getting an infant, and if so hope that it isn't one addicted to drugs. Those little guys/girls have a horrible first 4-5 weeks, and you might get about 1.5 hours of sleep a night.

Let me know if you have questions but it sounds like you guys know a bunch about it. I do it in Philadelphia, and you are right that it is different in each state. I have a buddy who runs foster care in Arizona if you need to get certified or any of that kind of stuff.

Thanks. We're all good and licensed. I don't want to get too specific on the child but yes he is and infant and there were some birth issues. He's doing great now though.

We're in a unique position in that I have worked on many of these cases before representing both parents and the children going through the process.

 

[modogg]

thanks for that woz.

phew. that sounds potentially rough, per your closing paragraph. taking care of a newborn is brutal work- even with your own. with the looming threat of having the baby taken away at a moment's notice... woof. at least your wife doesn't have post-partum.

but whatever happens- amazing for both of you to be doing this... it's a great thing you're doing.

Trust me the realistic possibility that this may not be a permanent thing (and, frankly, ideally it's not because that means the baby is reunited with his parents) and how my wife will take it if it's not permanent scares the crap out of me.

But like everything about our process of having children, nothing is really in our control.

one of the programs I run is a foster care program. Can be brutal, but congrats on helping out with the kids. I haven't read most of this thread, but it sounds like you might be getting an infant, and if so hope that it isn't one addicted to drugs. Those little guys/girls have a horrible first 4-5 weeks, and you might get about 1.5 hours of sleep a night.

Let me know if you have questions but it sounds like you guys know a bunch about it. I do it in Philadelphia, and you are right that it is different in each state. I have a buddy who runs foster care in Arizona if you need to get certified or any of that kind of stuff.

Thanks. We're all good and licensed. I don't want to get too specific on the child but yes he is and infant and there were some birth issues. He's doing great now though.

We're in a unique position in that I have worked on many of these cases before representing both parents and the children going through the process.

good deal. any questions or whatever about navigating the system from a provider aspect, or about caring for the kid at all, feel free to PM me. understatement of the year, but raising kids in the system is complicated to say the least.

 

[Zow]

thanks for that woz.

phew. that sounds potentially rough, per your closing paragraph. taking care of a newborn is brutal work- even with your own. with the looming threat of having the baby taken away at a moment's notice... woof. at least your wife doesn't have post-partum.

but whatever happens- amazing for both of you to be doing this... it's a great thing you're doing.

Trust me the realistic possibility that this may not be a permanent thing (and, frankly, ideally it's not because that means the baby is reunited with his parents) and how my wife will take it if it's not permanent scares the crap out of me.

But like everything about our process of having children, nothing is really in our control.

one of the programs I run is a foster care program. Can be brutal, but congrats on helping out with the kids. I haven't read most of this thread, but it sounds like you might be getting an infant, and if so hope that it isn't one addicted to drugs. Those little guys/girls have a horrible first 4-5 weeks, and you might get about 1.5 hours of sleep a night.

Let me know if you have questions but it sounds like you guys know a bunch about it. I do it in Philadelphia, and you are right that it is different in each state. I have a buddy who runs foster care in Arizona if you need to get certified or any of that kind of stuff.

Thanks. We're all good and licensed. I don't want to get too specific on the child but yes he is and infant and there were some birth issues. He's doing great now though.

We're in a unique position in that I have worked on many of these cases before representing both parents and the children going through the process.

good deal. any questions or whatever about navigating the system from a provider aspect, or about caring for the kid at all, feel free to PM me. understatement of the year, but raising kids in the system is complicated to say the least.

Thank you. I appreciate it.

 

[Buckychudd]

Aaaaaaand no go. Baby went to another family because we aren't officially licensed yet.

Update: We got licensed about a week ago. We get a call last Thursday asking if we'd like to foster this baby. Friday night he was dropped off to us. Been a whirlwind since.

I'm tired. And I have a feeling my golf game is going to get even worse.

If I could use up all my likes on this I would.

Edit - Congrats!

 

[SouthJersey]

Had our retrieval today. Only 4 keepers

Hoping all 4 fertilize...but we'll take 1. Fingers crossed.

Had our transfer today.

All of our eggs fertilized but only 3 made it till day 2. Transferred our 2 best today. The 3rd was currently a 6-cell guy so we'll find out in the next couple days if its good enough to put on ice.

So far so good...fingers crossed things keep going as planned.

Transferred our final embryo who was on ice 10-weeks ago. Got the all all-clear from our RE yesterday and wifey is going to see her regular OB next week. God willing our almost 2-year old is gonna have a sibling 2.5 years younger than him who was conceived on the same day. Seems insane. Science is pretty neat.

If anyone is in the CT/NYC area I can't recommend the Yale Fertility Center enough. Very kind, top-notch people.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

God willing our almost 2-year old is gonna have a sibling 2.5 years younger than him who was conceived on the same day. Seems insane. Science is pretty neat.

Yeah, I love stuff like this. My older kid was delivered by Fedex when she was a frozen embryo. Good luck.

 

[El Floppo]

God willing our almost 2-year old is gonna have a sibling 2.5 years younger than him who was conceived on the same day. Seems insane. Science is pretty neat.

Yeah, I love stuff like this. My older kid was delivered by Fedex when she was a frozen embryo. Good luck.

GL, SJ

we were 2 for 2 with Dr Stein in NYC.

 

[Zow]

Update: Kid still alive and he's pretty awesome. And my golf game has actually gotten a lot better because I don't care as much about it anymore! Only drawbacks so far are 1) that my wife and I are so damn tired when the kid goes down at night (and we know that he's getting up at 2:30 AM and 6:00 AM like clockwork so we better get our sleep in) that we just go immediately to bed without any sexy time; and 2) the really bad blowout numbers twos gross me out big time. But seriously this being a dad to a tiny baby thing is pretty wonderful. So excited to hang out with him everyday.

The fostering aspect is admittedly still a little strange and the proverbial elephant in the room. It's odd dropping him off knowing that he's seeing his actual parents for a couple hours a few times per week. I think my wife and I will both be good with reunifying him with his parents, but I really fear the impact on us if he happens to be placed elsewhere (fictive kinship, relative placement, or placement that can take him and his three siblings).

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

Thanks for the update Woz, keep us posted.

 

[The Commish]

Keep rockin' Woz Hopefully it all works out for you.

 

[El Floppo]

Keep rockin' Woz Hopefully it all works out for you.

plus, good for both of you for doing this- a truly amazing thing.

 

[Arizona Ron]

I tried skimming the thread but did Zow end up adopting or did the IC thing work?

 

[The Commish]

I tried skimming the thread but did Zow end up adopting or did the IC thing work?

foster parents for the time being.

 

[Arizona Ron]

I tried skimming the thread but did Zow end up adopting or did the IC thing work?

foster parents for the time being.

Does he have any indication on how long he'll be a foster? It could be days, weeks, months or even years right?

 

[El Floppo]

I tried skimming the thread but did Zow end up adopting or did the IC thing work?

foster parents for the time being.

Does he have any indication on how long he'll be a foster? It could be days, weeks, months or even years right?

apparently. part of what's so amazing, IMO, that they're doing this- truly selfless thing. I wish them nothing but the best.

 

[Zow]

I tried skimming the thread but did Zow end up adopting or did the IC thing work?

foster parents for the time being.

It could be days, weeks, months or even years right?

Correct. They could come get him from us at any point or we could wind up adopting him no sooner than 6-8 months probably up to several years from now.

 

[FBGirl79]

I haven't posted in here in a couple years (or been on FBG at all) but randomly thought of this thread tonight and wanted to update.

We went through 3 yrs of fertility treatments then decided to pursue adoption. We then decided to pursue foster to adopt.

We got licensed in July 2013 and the next day they brought a 16 month old little guy who changed my world. 3 weeks later they brought a 2 day girl who would become ours forever. Our little guy left and we took in a 16yr old boy.

Last January 30th, when our daughter was 1.5 yrs old we finalized her adoption. Easily the best day of my life. We had another newborn girl at the time who left us in May and currently have a 5 month old little guy (he will likely be reunified as well).

Our daughter's biological mom is pregnant and asked us to adopt the baby and he is due next month so in a few weeks we will have a 2yr old, 6 month old and newborn... I'm exhausted just typing that!

I never imagined in a million years our journey to parenthood would look like this but the day I held my daughter and again on her adoption day our journey made sense and I'd do it a thousand times over. Being foster parents is the hardest, most rewarding thing I've ever done!

I'm going to go back and see how everyone else's journey is going but wanted to update ours so far!

 

[FBGirl79]

Update: Kid still alive and he's pretty awesome. And my golf game has actually gotten a lot better because I don't care as much about it anymore! Only drawbacks so far are 1) that my wife and I are so damn tired when the kid goes down at night (and we know that he's getting up at 2:30 AM and 6:00 AM like clockwork so we better get our sleep in) that we just go immediately to bed without any sexy time; and 2) the really bad blowout numbers twos gross me out big time. But seriously this being a dad to a tiny baby thing is pretty wonderful. So excited to hang out with him everyday.

The fostering aspect is admittedly still a little strange and the proverbial elephant in the room. It's odd dropping him off knowing that he's seeing his actual parents for a couple hours a few times per week. I think my wife and I will both be good with reunifying him with his parents, but I really fear the impact on us if he happens to be placed elsewhere (fictive kinship, relative placement, or placement that can take him and his three siblings).

Glad to see another foster parent. The visits were the hardest part for me with my daughter. We have luckily built good relationships with all our kids bios which made the transition easier but if I'm being completely honest, it didn't become easier until after our daughter's adoption. It was almost as if the reunifications before her destroyed me and after were manageable because they weren't going to take her away. If you ever need to vent let me know. Being foster parents is a rollercoaster unlike anything I've ever experienced (and I thought fertility treatments were bad!).

It is surreal to love, nurture, bond with and care for a child only to hand them over for a couple to hours to someone else who happen to be their parents bc the rest of the time you are 100% the parent. Nothing natural about it except your love for the children.

 

[El Floppo]

Amazing stuff, fbgirl

Thanks so much for sharing your story... and congrats on your family!

 

[Zow]

Update: Kid still alive and he's pretty awesome. And my golf game has actually gotten a lot better because I don't care as much about it anymore! Only drawbacks so far are 1) that my wife and I are so damn tired when the kid goes down at night (and we know that he's getting up at 2:30 AM and 6:00 AM like clockwork so we better get our sleep in) that we just go immediately to bed without any sexy time; and 2) the really bad blowout numbers twos gross me out big time. But seriously this being a dad to a tiny baby thing is pretty wonderful. So excited to hang out with him everyday.

The fostering aspect is admittedly still a little strange and the proverbial elephant in the room. It's odd dropping him off knowing that he's seeing his actual parents for a couple hours a few times per week. I think my wife and I will both be good with reunifying him with his parents, but I really fear the impact on us if he happens to be placed elsewhere (fictive kinship, relative placement, or placement that can take him and his three siblings).

Glad to see another foster parent. The visits were the hardest part for me with my daughter. We have luckily built good relationships with all our kids bios which made the transition easier but if I'm being completely honest, it didn't become easier until after our daughter's adoption. It was almost as if the reunifications before her destroyed me and after were manageable because they weren't going to take her away.If you ever need to vent let me know. Being foster parents is a rollercoaster unlike anything I've ever experienced (and I thought fertility treatments were bad!).

It is surreal to love, nurture, bond with and care for a child only to hand them over for a couple to hours to someone else who happen to be their parents bc the rest of the time you are 100% the parent. Nothing natural about it except your love for the children.

Thanks. We are hoping to reach some sort of communication agreement with the parents if the baby stays with us, too. Glad to see a story where that worked out well.

 

[FBGirl79]

I have maintained contact with her since her adoption just to send pics and let her know she was doing. When she found out she was pregnant I was the first person she called. She immediately said, I want you to adopt this baby, you know I can't raise a child and I know how much Ella is loved. Definitely made me happy I kept those lines of communication open even when I didn't want to. It's really what's best for the child in the long run too.

Glad to hear they are receptive to having that open relationship too!

 

[Zow]

I have maintained contact with her since her adoption just to send pics and let her know she was doing. When she found out she was pregnant I was the first person she called. She immediately said, I want you to adopt this baby, you know I can't raise a child and I know how much Ella is loved. Definitely made me happy I kept those lines of communication open even when I didn't want to. It's really what's best for the child in the long run too.

Glad to hear they are receptive to having that open relationship too!

Since the case is pending I don't want to get into specifics, but at this point this seems to be more of a unilateral sentiment.

 

[Rick James]

what is the process for becoming a foster parent? We've been trying to become pregnant for over a year now with no luck

 

[Zow]

what is the process for becoming a foster parent? We've been trying to become pregnant for over a year now with no luck

In my state (Arizona) the easiest way is to become licensed through a private licensing agency. That agency kind of acts as your agent/broker and communicates with the state agency (CPS, DCS, DFS, etc.) who handles removals and child placements.

The actual licensing takes a few months. We had to pass a background, get a physical, and do like 30 hours of classes.

 

[FBGirl79]

Essentially the same in Ohio. Each state will differ but it took us about 2 months start to finish. You can go through individual counties but we wet through a foster agency bc they work with 6 different countoes and we wanted a bigger pool of children to work with. We got dually licensed for foster and adoption at the same time. There is a desperate need for good foster parents in this country right now.

 

[Zow]

This little guy is seriously the coolest human being ever. No clue yet where it's going to go but it'll be a privilege to adopt the little guy if we get the chance.

 

[El Floppo]

Was wondering this week how it wss going for you, woz.

 

[Zow]

Was wondering this week how it wss going for you, woz.

Going great. The only downside is that the uncertainty is basically our own sword of damacles.

 

[Zow]

Got a call that there's a second newborn available. Wife is getting all the info.

ETA: So, twins, they easy?

 

[The Commish]

piece of cake Woz...you got this

 

[Zow]

piece of cake Woz...you got this

Right.

I've had several friends consistently tell me the first kid wasn't too hard but the second was really life-changing. Right now with just one baby we can each take breaks and I can still have some semblance of keeping up with my hobbies like golf, softball, and basketball.

 

[NorvilleBarnes]

Got a call that there's a second newborn available. Wife is getting all the info.

ETA: So, twins, they easy?

Super easy. They practically baby sit each other.

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

Just think of it as having a spare in case you **** up the first one.

 

[Buckychudd]

piece of cake Woz...you got this

Right.

I've had several friends consistently tell me the first kid wasn't too hard but the second was really life-changing. Right now with just one baby we can each take breaks and I can still have some semblance of keeping up with my hobbies like golf, softball, and basketball.

I'd give yourselves at least 6 more months to adjust to the first before I'd jump into anything else. In my opinion it gets a lot cooler for the dad the older they get.

Of course if your life is anything like mine, it's your wife who will call the shots on this. GL

 

[Zow]

piece of cake Woz...you got this

Right.

I've had several friends consistently tell me the first kid wasn't too hard but the second was really life-changing. Right now with just one baby we can each take breaks and I can still have some semblance of keeping up with my hobbies like golf, softball, and basketball.

I'd give yourselves at least 6 more months to adjust to the first before I'd jump into anything else. In my opinion it gets a lot cooler for the dad the older they get.

Of course if your life is anything like mine, it's your wife who will call the shots on this. GL

Pretty much. And I don't think bargaining in this instance like I did when she wanted a second dog, where the agreement we struck was essentially that we could get one but I wasn't going to let it affect my daily routine, would go over so well in this situation.

Admittedly, a lot of this does stem from the unknown with our current foster son. My wife greatly fears a situation where our foster son is placed elsewhere and we're back to square one with the knowledge that we turned down another newborn -- an opportunity which doesn't come around often.

ETA: I love babies. I care for our current foster son just as much as my wife and we have a good routine going with him. I also work a bunch and like playing sports almost every day.

 

[The Commish]

piece of cake Woz...you got this

Right.

I've had several friends consistently tell me the first kid wasn't too hard but the second was really life-changing. Right now with just one baby we can each take breaks and I can still have some semblance of keeping up with my hobbies like golf, softball, and basketball.

For us it was the other way around....the first one messed with us big time. The second wasn't that big a deal to incorporate once we'd learned a thing or two

 

[General Malaise]

Got a call that there's a second newborn available. Wife is getting all the info.

ETA: So, twins, they easy?

Easy like a Sunday Morning.

 

[General Malaise]

Got a call that there's a second newborn available. Wife is getting all the info.

ETA: So, twins, they easy?

Easy like a Sunday Morning.

If you live Dhaka, Bangladesh and have to dumpster dive for food on a Sunday morning.

 

[General Malaise]

Got a call that there's a second newborn available. Wife is getting all the info.

ETA: So, twins, they easy?

Easy like a Sunday Morning.

If you live Dhaka, Bangladesh and have to dumpster dive for food on a Sunday morning.

And you've got Leprosy.

 

[Zow]

Got a call that there's a second newborn available. Wife is getting all the info.

ETA: So, twins, they easy?

Easy like a Sunday Morning.

Pffft you don't think your youtube clip of your sons crying nonstop isn't scarred into my brain?

 

[General Malaise]

Got a call that there's a second newborn available. Wife is getting all the info.

ETA: So, twins, they easy?

Easy like a Sunday Morning.

If you live Dhaka, Bangladesh and have to dumpster dive for food on a Sunday morning.

And you've got Leprosy.

Nubs for arms. Also blind.

 

[General Malaise]

Incidentally, twins is the Bocce word for 'terrorists'.

 

[General Malaise]

In fact if I had a choice 13 months ago at the time I first learned about twins if I could have twins OR I could stick my penis in the gaping mouth of a crocodile and take my chances, I think I'd go crocodile. No, I KNOW I'd go crocodile.