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Wife wants to buy house with her Father. Shoot me. (1 Viewer)

Personally, I would tell my wife that our marriage may hinge on her actions in this matter. (My wife would never do this though - her parents are dead. No, I didn't shoot them.)

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Ive been married for 15 years. There have been ups and downs. Trust me. Below is what Im having the most trouble with....

This is exactly my issue here. Ive given my veto and it appears that she may be ignoring me on this.

She appears to not respect me enough to value my feelings.
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You make it sound like it has to be him or me and this is the ultimate ultimatum for your marriage.  I think that's a real shame.  I'm sure this is tough for you and I wish you the best.

 
Obviously I agree that this is a trainwreck of the highest velocity. But for the sake of helping you build ammunition, speak to a CPA as well as the aforementioned lawyer. You need objectivity on your side. This is a business decision and there is no place for emotions. 

Like somone mentioned, why doesn't he rent? Why doesn't he buy a mobile home and rent a lot? Why doesn't he buy a fifth-wheel trailer and live in that? This is insanity, with nothing to gain for you or your wife. I'm speechless that your wife seems to be moving forward despite your objections.  :hot: :wall: :boxing: :tfp:

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Im not actually worried about this as much as Im worried about:

His age/possibility of death

Fiancee and her kids

Their local housing market losing value

His inability to get the loan re-financed due to his age****

Hurting my/our Income to debt ratio

ETA*** - WTF is going to give a 65 y/o a 30 year loan??????????????????
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Your wife is 65?  She's gonna be getting the loan.

 
Henry Ford said:
Like many baby boomers, your father-in-law has spent decades screwing around and now expects to live well off of the kindness and smart decisions of his children.  That's bull####.

The purpose of having your wife sign is to have her be liable if anything happens.  If she is liable, your community property regime is liable.  

Tell your wife you have no problem with this as long as you can get divorced first so she can make these decisions for herself and not for your marital property and you.
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/thread

 
Binky The Doormat said:
This has nothing to do with baby boomers ...guy is just a POS. 

Nice try you millennial #### wads.
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I'm 41.  X!  Boomers are the devil! Haven't spoke to my dad in a year at least.  Selfish pricks.

Still a terrible scenario for mobbin regardless.

 
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Options:

1. Your wife listens to reason.

2a. Divorce

2b. Declare bankruptsy immediately. I hear it's easy and POOF no possibility of a new mortgage.

 
trogg78 said:
You make it sound like it has to be him or me and this is the ultimate ultimatum for your marriage.  I think that's a real shame.  I'm sure this is tough for you and I wish you the best.
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You're right. I should just let her do whatever she wants all the time while ignoring my thoughts entirely. What could go wrong?

List of things that come to mind when I think about what could go wrong:

1) Starts neglecting our children

2) Developes a drub problem

3)Starts (Continues) to bang other dudes

.

.

.

.

.

.6,522) Purchases a house with a family member

 
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You know, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of crazy.

 
DallasDMac said:
This goes well beyond your feelings if indeed she did this without your ok. This is about risking your financial future without giving a #### what you think about it.
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Sounds like my wife. She doesn't have good credit. Her sister, who also doesn't have good credit, tried to purchase a vehicle last summer. She asked my wife to co-sign. I caught wind of it, said it is a bad idea. I thought that was the end of it. Fast forward 350 or so days later and my wife was in need of an upgrade. We go to a Nissan dealership. When the salesman goes over her credit report he states her credit is okay but not good and she's got some derogatory things showing up such as her having co-signed on another vehicle. Turns out after having Nissan deny selling a car to my sister-in-law and wife last summer, they went somewhere else to get it done. 

 
PIK95 said:
That's worse then the op's issue imo.
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:lmao:   Yeah, thanks.  I am no youngster, but living with my 83 year old FIL's place for "vacation" for 6 days has my balls shrinking.  I am deep into a handle of his bad bourbon blend and itchy to argue since I can't fight.   :D

 
I don't really know you, but yes I'll absolutely shoot you. It's just the kind of guy I am.

PM me.

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Ive been married for 15 years. There have been ups and downs. Trust me. Below is what Im having the most trouble with....

This is exactly my issue here. Ive given my veto and it appears that she may be ignoring me on this.

She appears to not respect me enough to value my feelings.
Click to expand...
Divorce her. Dead serious 

 
Binky The Doormat said:
tommyboy advice is like looking for answers at the free clinic.
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No. Serious as ball cancer. If your wife chooses her father over you, you have a crappy marriage.

Too many  men just accept their fate. #### that. You have value

 
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Soootch said:
:goodposting:

Also as far as giving a 65yo a 30 year mortgage -- I'm curious about this myself. Do the banks factor in age when approving loans? Is that even legal? 
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Age has no bearing on qualifying for a mortgage.  I have done 30 year mortgage for someone who is 92 and they needed the smallest possible payment and had no issues getting it through the underwriting process.

 
The Big Guy said:
Age has no bearing on qualifying for a mortgage.  I have done 30 year mortgage for someone who is 92 and they needed the smallest possible payment and had no issues getting it through the underwriting process.
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So the guy dies at 94. Explain what happens to the loan

 
tommyboy said:
So the guy dies at 94. Explain what happens to the loan
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The estate handles it.  Either they continue to pay it, while they settle the estate out, or they pay it when they sell the house to cash out the value left in it, or they refi into one of the heirs names when they split it and one decides to keep it and buys the other heirs out.

Worst case is foreclosure I suppose, but with a proper LTV there should still be value there

 
If this has to happen, I think there are some ways you can insulate yourself.

1.  Make the purchase in your wife's name and rent the property to your father in-law.

2.  Require a significant downpayment, something like 30%

3.  Require your father in-law to pay u for a term life insurance policy, which would cover the loan's outstanding balance, naming her as the beneficiary that you will be in charge of managing.

4.  Do not do anything until u have settled your personal housing situation.  The additional debt will wreak havoc on your debt to income ratios.

 
The Big Guy said:
Age has no bearing on qualifying for a mortgage.  I have done 30 year mortgage for someone who is 92 and they needed the smallest possible payment and had no issues getting it through the underwriting process.
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Yep. Discriminating based on age is quite illegal in the mortgage process.

 
NFL-ons said:
If this has to happen, I think there are some ways you can insulate yourself.

1.  Make the purchase in your wife's name and rent the property to your father in-law.

2.  Require a significant downpayment, something like 30%

3.  Require your father in-law to pay u for a term life insurance policy, which would cover the loan's outstanding balance, naming her as the beneficiary that you will be in charge of managing.

4.  Do not do anything until u have settled your personal housing situation.  The additional debt will wreak havoc on your debt to income ratios.
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He doesn't have the significant downpayment.  If he did, he wouldn't need help buying a house.

Term life at 65 or whatever he is is crazy expensive.  If he could afford term + mortgage, he wouldn't need help

#1 will make him even less committed to the whole project, and more likely to end poorly

#4 is good advice

 
Bob Loblaw said:
Don't do it.  Your wife's sister is well off because she doesn't enter into situations like this. 
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Wife and I do not loan money to the family, much to their dissatisfaction. None of them own property, can keep a job, ever have 2 nickels to rub together...and then they like to lecture us once a year when we come around to visit for an hour or two. 

 
VandyMan said:
I believe Myrtle Beach is in SC not NC.  Does that solve the problem?
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Lol, whatever. Different state same issue. 

Not even slightly.  South Carolina recognises common law marriage.  According to Wikipedia:

The criteria for a common-law marriage are: (1) when two parties have a present intent (usually, but not necessarily, evidenced by a public and unequivocal declaration) to enter into a marriage contract; and (2) "a mutual agreement between the parties to assume toward each other the relation of husband and wife."[35] Common law marriages can dissolve in legal divorce and alimony.
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If he dies and the woman he is living with asserts that they are married, that opens a can of worms that may never go away.  Even if she doesn't, and your wife owns the house, the woman may have the right to live there for the remainder of her life.  (It's called  a "life estate".)

Don't even think about allowing this.  For Pete's sake call your FIL and tell him exactly why.

 
I see a future where your father-in-law's fiance's kids end up trashing that house and you end up getting the bill to clean it up once they are evicted.

 
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