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Wife wants to buy house with her Father. Shoot me. (1 Viewer)

STEADYMOBBIN 22

STEADYMOBBIN 22

Footballguy
So long story short- the woman to whom I related to by marriage has been asked by her father to go in on the purchase of a house. Father can't qualify because he doesn't have the income, my wife does. 

I think his plan is to build her credit, use her income and get her off the loan in two years. Personally I'm appalled he's even asking this of his daughter. Shame. So many things could go wrong.

Short story long-

Despite my very clear feeling that I think this is a extremely poor decision, She just received a letter from a lending company in North Carlonina where her father lives. I can only assume it is a loan app or credit pull. I hope it isn't a mortgage bill. ETA- it's a credit report. 

He's 62 ish, in good health. He lives with his fiancée and several of her kids and 3 grandkids in Myrtle Beach, SC. 

Please list all the horrific things that could happen so if and when she does this I can protect myself and not sound like a complete moron when I make my last stand. 

Questions:

1) -Will it hurt my credit in any way?

2) If her father dies, does the fathers current fiancee -soon to be wife automatically get possession? Can she just stop paying and squat on the house? 

3)Can one of you shoot me? 

Wife and I have been through a lot of rocky years but a mix of maturity and better finances have helped makes things better in recent years. With that said I'm not sure I'm willing to "allow" this if it hurts me financially even the slightest. I've been broke and in major dept. I've worked hard for a decade repaying everything and rebuilding my credit. I will never go back or do anything to jeopardize my financial stability. Makes me so angry. My wife's sister who is very well off won't do it, prolly cause she's not s flipping idiot! :rant:

Im not overreacting, riiiight!?!?!? 

 
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So incensed I forgot to mention that I'm feverishly fixing up the house so we can put it on the market next spring. 

Cant buy a house if she Fs up out DTI!!!!

 
I got a real bad feeling about this. I would not do it. Answers to questions:

1. It can really hurt your wife's credit.

2. Maybe but there are probably contracts that can be signed to protect your wife - call a lawyer if she insists on doing this.

3. Shoot you where? Maybe in the pair you're not using here?

ETA - a contract lawyer, not a divorce lawyer.

 
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bueno said:
3. Shoot you where? Maybe in the pair you're not using here?
Click to expand...


Lets be very clear. I am dead set against it. I have adamantly stated the many reasons on why it's a colossally poor decision. 

I won't stand for it without a contract the relieves me of any and all responsibility, which is pretty much an impossibility. 

 
sleep with your wife...while you still can

this won't end well

hopefully you can talk her out of this :tfp:  

 
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Joe Summer said:
He's going to default on the loan and you and your wife will be stuck with the mortgage.
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Im not actually worried about this as much as Im worried about:

His age/possibility of death

Fiancee and her kids

Their local housing market losing value

His inability to get the loan re-financed due to his age****

Hurting my/our Income to debt ratio

ETA*** - WTF is going to give a 65 y/o a 30 year loan??????????????????

 
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STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Im not actually worried about this as much as Im worried about:

His age/possibility of death

Fiancee and her kids

Their local housing market losing value

His inability to get the loan re-financed due to his age

Hurting my/our Income to debt ratio
Click to expand...


Here is what you need to do. 

Have you wife sign a contract in which she has to check off all these things that are listed and that she understands the risks involved. She is most likely making an emotional choice you need her to understand this is not about trusting her dad this is about things out of her control or her fathers.  Beforehand of course you sabotage any trust her has in that Gold Digging whore of a fiancée and her devil spawn kids.

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Im not actually worried about this
Click to expand...
I have to ask.... why not? This is the most colossal risk there is with all this. What if he suddenly passes away? Do you know the other folks well enough to trust they'll continue making payments and not default knowing your name is on it? You could EASILY end up on the hook for a mortgage on a house you'll never be allowed to set foot in.

 
Also, a good rule of thumb is to never sign for something unless you're willing to make the payments.  I assume your wife has no intentions on paying.

 
In my marriage we make these decisions together, and each party would carry a veto on this. I am hoping you have something similar  

tell me again why renting is not an option for him / them? That is what people do who don't qualify for mortgages 

 
Terrible idea.  My parents did this at some point for some friends.  The "friends" ended up not paying the monthly payments and my parents credit went to hell.  It took a long time to finally evict the "friends" and my parents ended up having to live in the house they didn't want because they had no choices. 

It won't end well. 

 
DallasDMac said:
I have to ask.... why not? This is the most colossal risk there is with all this. What if he suddenly passes away? Do you know the other folks well enough to trust they'll continue making payments and not default knowing your name is on it? You could EASILY end up on the hook for a mortgage on a house you'll never be allowed to set foot in.
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He's not worried about the father defaulting - he's extremely worried about everything/everyone else.

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Questions:

1) -Will it hurt my credit in any way?

2) If her father dies, does the fathers current fiancee -soon to be wife automatically get possession? Can she just stop paying and squat on the house? 

3)Can one of you shoot me? 




 
Click to expand...
1). No it will not hurt your credit but you may be on the hook if your wife has to take over responsibility of the loan (this can vary state to state).  However, her credit could be destroyed and yes it will affect your ability to purchase a home down the line.  This is not an arm's length transaction for the lease so she will be responsible for 100% of the payment.  Your DTI ratio will go through the roof. 

2).  No, it would default to your wife who would be the owner of the property (assuming they are both on title).  This is a whole different set of problems if the house is caught up in the probate.  

Long story short, do not let her do this.  I am not sure what state you live in but, CA and AZ are impossible to evict people let alone people that are legitimately living somewhere.  Your state may be worse.    

Start hiding houses?

 
DallasDMac said:
I have to ask.... why not? This is the most colossal risk there is with all this. What if he suddenly passes away? Do you know the other folks well enough to trust they'll continue making payments and not default knowing your name is on it? You could EASILY end up on the hook for a mortgage on a house you'll never be allowed to set foot in.
Click to expand...
Like Steeler said, its everything else (including his death). Her Dad is a good man. He would work to the bone to do whatever it would take to make his payments but hes pretty much at the bone now.

Her dad will try his hardest, not really the point.

There isn't one good reason other then she is thinking about helping her father. Thats honorable but stupid. I could see if he didnt have a place to play his head, he could come and live with us, but he can rent, build his credit and then buy a house if hes so set on it.

Hes trying to speed things up and risking my wifes credit and inadvertently screwing me.

Im also worried abotu this senerio..... They go through with this and then my wife and I split up... Am I liable for her debt on that house?

 
trogg78 said:
For better or worse...screw it, don't mess with my money!
Click to expand...


Ive been married for 15 years. There have been ups and downs. Trust me. Below is what Im having the most trouble with....

wilked said:
In my marriage we make these decisions together, and each party would carry a veto on this. I am hoping you have something similar  

tell me again why renting is not an option for him / them? That is what people do who don't qualify for mortgages 
Click to expand...
This is exactly my issue here. Ive given my veto and it appears that she may be ignoring me on this.

She appears to not respect me enough to value my feelings.

 
sbonomo said:
1). No it will not hurt your credit but you may be on the hook if your wife has to take over responsibility of the loan (this can vary state to state).  However, her credit could be destroyed and yes it will affect your ability to purchase a home down the line.  This is not an arm's length transaction for the lease so she will be responsible for 100% of the payment.  Your DTI ratio will go through the roof. 

2).  No, it would default to your wife who would be the owner of the property (assuming they are both on title).  This is a whole different set of problems if the house is caught up in the probate.  

Long story short, do not let her do this.  I am not sure what state you live in but, CA and AZ are impossible to evict people let alone people that are legitimately living somewhere.  Your state may be worse.    

Start hiding houses?
Click to expand...
:goodposting:  Was going to post pretty much the exact same thing.  She will be responsible for the mortgage no matter what.  She will get the house if she is on the deed.  Only if she is on the deed, you must make sure that happens if you decide to go through with this terrible idea.  

And by She I really mean you since you are married.  Make sure she has a will too, if she and her farther happen to pass at the same time it really gets messy.

 
if you are looking to sell and move couuld her doiing this make it so that you can no longer qualify for a new mortgage when you want to move i think i would want to know that answer pretty quick bromigo take that to the bank 

 
Going to tread lightly... Do you think past issues have her not valuing your input here?

i know you've got a kid/kids. Mention how your debt load will kill hinder the money borrowing options for college. 

 
Like many baby boomers, your father-in-law has spent decades screwing around and now expects to live well off of the kindness and smart decisions of his children.  That's bull####.

The purpose of having your wife sign is to have her be liable if anything happens.  If she is liable, your community property regime is liable.  

Tell your wife you have no problem with this as long as you can get divorced first so she can make these decisions for herself and not for your marital property and you.

 
bigmarc27 said:
Going to tread lightly... Do you think past issues have her not valuing your input here?

i know you've got a kid/kids. Mention how your debt load will kill hinder the money borrowing options for college. 
Click to expand...
You're good. :thumbup:

Of course past transgressions and mistakes I made in my 20's are still haunting me at 39, shes a woman, they never forget!

Ive mentioned all of these things to her already, shes making an emotional decision.

 
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The last time we spoke on this was months ago. I was adamant that its a bad idea, listed all the pitfalls, and it ended with her saying she wasn't going to do it and was going to tell her father.

For all I know she just hasn't had the balls to talk to her father and tell him. This letter that came today came out of left field. 

 
I feel for you Steady. We all know money is the number one factor in marital disputes. But this one goes well beyond a simple unknown credit card bill or something. Good luck.

 
Henry Ford said:
Like many baby boomers, your father-in-law has spent decades screwing around and now expects to live well off of the kindness and smart decisions of his children.  That's bull####.

The purpose of having your wife sign is to have her be liable if anything happens.  If she is liable, your community property regime is liable.  

Tell your wife you have no problem with this as long as you can get divorced first so she can make these decisions for herself and not for your marital property and you.
Click to expand...
As a boomer myself, I resent your attitude here.

 
sbonomo said:
1). No it will not hurt your credit but you may be on the hook if your wife has to take over responsibility of the loan (this can vary state to state).  However, her credit could be destroyed and yes it will affect your ability to purchase a home down the line.  This is not an arm's length transaction for the lease so she will be responsible for 100% of the payment.  Your DTI ratio will go through the roof. 

2).  No, it would default to your wife who would be the owner of the property (assuming they are both on title).  This is a whole different set of problems if the house is caught up in the probate.  

Long story short, do not let her do this.  I am not sure what state you live in but, CA and AZ are impossible to evict people let alone people that are legitimately living somewhere.  Your state may be worse.    

Start hiding houses?
Click to expand...
Her dad intends on marrying the chick - that gives the new wife legal rights to his estate in many states.

 
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bueno said:
Her dad intends on marrying the chick - that gives the new wife legal rights to his estate in many states.
Click to expand...
oh, that makes it even worse....yikes, run away......I like the divorce on paper idea.  Legal zoom, $300-$400 a few hundred bucks in filing fees and you kill two birds with one stone!

 
sbonomo said:
oh, that makes it even worse....yikes, run away......I like the divorce on paper idea.  Legal zoom, $300-$400 a few hundred bucks in filing fees and you kill two birds with one stone!
Click to expand...
That's why I brought up him passing and Steady getting stuck with the bill earlier. Somehow or other it was considered not a factor. I didn't get it, but dropped it.

 
Soootch said:
:goodposting:

Also as far as giving a 65yo a 30 year mortgage -- I'm curious about this myself. Do the banks factor in age when approving loans? Is that even legal? 
Click to expand...
I got a 30 year mortgage at 55, meaning I'll be theoretically 85 when I pay it off. (But it will be gone long before that.) So I suspect the answer is no.

 
DallasDMac said:
That's why I brought up him passing and Steady getting stuck with the bill earlier. Somehow or other it was considered not a factor. I didn't get it, but dropped it.
Click to expand...
Go back and check, you are correct and I agree, It's absolutly a factor. Only her father not paying the bills due to laziness is unlikely- EVERYTHING else is of major concern, especially death. 

 
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