Johnny Rock
Footballguy
If he offered to not go through with it take him up on it and tell him to bring it up to your wife that it's not going to work. Reinforce it one more time with him and it's done. Unless he reneges.
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Wife wants to buy house with her Father. Shoot me. (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter STEADYMOBBIN 22
- Start date
Steeler
Footballguy
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
understand that, but he plans on using him if it comes to divorce; Sorry, didn't realize he had posted in the Lawyer thread. I will follow over there so as not to clutter this one up.
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
Yeah, this is another factor. I pretty much screwed either way. Well yes and no. I will lose a crap load of income and my health insurance which is going to cost me a fortune by myself so there's that.
Honestly it's all about respect and not money at this point.Honestly it's all about respect and not money at this point.
Binky The Doormat
Footballguy
Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
matuski
Footballguy
sbonomo
Footballguy
Maybe that is a good ultimatum. If you want to go through with this we are completely splitting finances. From now on you will have your own checking account and I will have mine. We will split all bills. Any joint cards will be destroyed and you will be responsible for your own as will I. Oh, and I also need for you to sign this post nup which splits assets as of today, then you will have my blessing to do whatever the f-you want. I don't think that is an unreasonable request.
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
That may not matter. State laws vary, and some will make him financially liable for her actions even if he was unaware of them.
I'm so sorry this is happening.
Johnny Rock
Footballguy
Didn't anyone else notice that the FIL said he would back out? Accept that offer and put this shameful deal to rest.
cheese
Footballguy
I'm not up to date on your situation, but my 2 cents anyway... I don't think this BY ITSELF would push me to divorce, but it seems like your marriage was already rough. I'd be willing to use it as the reason to get out if you were already looking for one though.
Just by itself, it's shady and it's stupid, but from the other viewpoint you could say shes just not willing to compromise on her family. That's dumb, but not the worst quality I ever heard of.
Personally, I'd try the dad first. See if you can get him to voluntarily come off this idea. If he won't, honestly screw that guy, he's not what you thought (or isn't anymore with the new woman). Plan B, tell the wife again it's insane and going to hurt her family (which is you guys 1st and foremost not her dad). Plan C, decide whether this is the straw that broke the back of your marriage or if you can get over it in time. Once you make a decision, don't look back and move forward either way. Nothing good comes from staying with her and being bitter.
BowieMercs
Footballguy
Financially, its a HORRIBLE idea if for no other reason that a guy that age can't pay off a 30 yr note without income in 2 yrs without starting his own meth lab in a Winnebago in the desert.
Marriage wise, it will end up costing you all your money if you divorce now, but it WILL TAKE YOUR LIFE from you if you stay married.
This would be a good time to take your FIL on a guys weekend trip to Cuba & tell your wife he wouldnt leave.
Marriage wise, it will end up costing you all your money if you divorce now, but it WILL TAKE YOUR LIFE from you if you stay married.
This would be a good time to take your FIL on a guys weekend trip to Cuba & tell your wife he wouldnt leave.
msommer
Footballguy
pats3in4
Footballguy
Every couple draws the line differently in their relationship where "I" ends and "we" starts when it comes to decision making regarding money. Some couples fight over one's decision to drop $100 on a dinner out with friends while others don't even blink at something like that. As the money gets bigger and bigger, usually the pool in the "we" camp grows. By the time you reach co-signing on a home loan for someone else, you've pretty much gathered most of society into the "we" camp.
That your wife went out on her own to do this, behind your back no less, is a big freaking deal. And yeah, this is divorce-worthy. Do not let your wife minimize this or guilt you into thinking you're selfish for "not wanting to help out her father". Your marriage comes first and this kind of decision had to be made jointly. She picked her father over you in this very important decision and that was awful.
That your wife went out on her own to do this, behind your back no less, is a big freaking deal. And yeah, this is divorce-worthy. Do not let your wife minimize this or guilt you into thinking you're selfish for "not wanting to help out her father". Your marriage comes first and this kind of decision had to be made jointly. She picked her father over you in this very important decision and that was awful.
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
I'm sad to say that I don't have an epic meltdown update to give.So, how did the talk go last night?
Wife and I had an extremely good talk last night. Short story is she's an imbecile. I put my foot down about this and several other things that have been bothering me. I told her how unhappy o was about everything and lit her and her father up. She just gave me a thousand yard stare and apologized profusely. I was able to reasserte myself and took control of my household again.
I feel a hundred percent better and it couldn't have gone better. She even agreed to brown dots again.
Green and Gold
Footballguy
You went from the OP to brown dots? That is not at all how I thought this would play out.
pollardsvision
Footballguy
That's the greatest victory a man could ever hope for. Enjoy a well-deserved cigar and long pour of your finest bourbon tonight. And that brown dot too, of course.
boots11234
Footballguy
BOSS!!! Bich needed the pimp glove is all. Glad this worked out well for you BUT you didn't say if she was going to go through with this mistake. If the answer is no , no one would think less of you if you called up her POS father and gloated .
tommyboy
Footballguy
What r brown dots?I'm sad to say that I don't have an epic meltdown update to give.
Wife and I had an extremely good talk last night. Short story is she's an imbecile. I put my foot down about this and several other things that have been bothering me. I told her how unhappy o was about everything and lit her and her father up. She just gave me a thousand yard stare and apologized profusely. I was able to reasserte myself and took control of my household again.
I feel a hundred percent better and it couldn't have gone better. She even agreed to brown dots again.
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
Google it. Make sure you try Google Images.tommyboy said:
Tom Servo
Nittany Beavers
It would appear things worked out well. Props to you for communicating your thoughts to your wife.STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:I'm sad to say that I don't have an epic meltdown update to give.
Wife and I had an extremely good talk last night. Short story is she's an imbecile. I put my foot down about this and several other things that have been bothering me. I told her how unhappy o was about everything and lit her and her father up. She just gave me a thousand yard stare and apologized profusely. I was able to reasserte myself and took control of my household again.
I feel a hundred percent better and it couldn't have gone better. She even agreed to brown dots again.
Spike
Footballguy
Congrats...but keep your guard up. She went behind your back once...what's to say she won't do it again?STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:I'm sad to say that I don't have an epic meltdown update to give.
Wife and I had an extremely good talk last night. Short story is she's an imbecile. I put my foot down about this and several other things that have been bothering me. I told her how unhappy o was about everything and lit her and her father up. She just gave me a thousand yard stare and apologized profusely. I was able to reasserte myself and took control of my household again.
I feel a hundred percent better and it couldn't have gone better. She even agreed to brown dots again.
DallasDMac
Footballguy
Spike
Footballguy
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
Ratified but there were still contingencies.
That #### ain't happening.
The wife STILL can't comprehend how this affects me no matter how plainly I spell it out to her.
Her: "But it's my credit and my dad is going to pay the mortgage"
Me: "Debt to income ratio,honey, and remember what happens if he dies? "
Her:" yeah, but I don't understand, we're not paying anything out-of-pocket."
me:
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tommyboy
Footballguy
explain it like.
"if you put your name on a several hundred thousand dollar loan, then you and by marriage, me, are liable for the debt. Its a legal contract. Which means that if anything were to go wrong, the banks will collect from you and me, even if we don't live in it. And we can't afford a 2nd house"
"if you put your name on a several hundred thousand dollar loan, then you and by marriage, me, are liable for the debt. Its a legal contract. Which means that if anything were to go wrong, the banks will collect from you and me, even if we don't live in it. And we can't afford a 2nd house"
Johnny Rock
Footballguy
Ratified but there were still contingencies.
That #### ain't happening.
The wife STILL can't comprehend how this affects me no matter how plainly I spell it out to her.
Her: "But it's my credit and my dad is going to pay the mortgage"
Me: "Debt to income ratio,honey, and remember what happens if he dies? "
Her:" yeah, but I don't understand, we're not paying anything out-of-pocket."
me:
Oof. Glad you got through this.
That #### ain't happening.
The wife STILL can't comprehend how this affects me no matter how plainly I spell it out to her.
Her: "But it's my credit and my dad is going to pay the mortgage"
Me: "Debt to income ratio,honey, and remember what happens if he dies? "
Her:" yeah, but I don't understand, we're not paying anything out-of-pocket."
me:
Oof. Glad you got through this.
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Ned
Footballguy
Henry Ford
Footballguy
My financial discussions with my wife are significantly less interesting than yours.STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:I'm sad to say that I don't have an epic meltdown update to give.
Wife and I had an extremely good talk last night. Short story is she's an imbecile. I put my foot down about this and several other things that have been bothering me. I told her how unhappy o was about everything and lit her and her father up. She just gave me a thousand yard stare and apologized profusely. I was able to reasserte myself and took control of my household again.
I feel a hundred percent better and it couldn't have gone better. She even agreed to brown dots again.
DallasDMac
Footballguy
Not to be mean, but your wife doesn't seem particularly bright.
Flying Spaghetti Monster
Footballguy
Careful, it's a sleight of hind trick...... while you are distracted enjoying the brown dots, she's busy buying multiple houses with her dad.STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:I'm sad to say that I don't have an epic meltdown update to give.
Wife and I had an extremely good talk last night. Short story is she's an imbecile. I put my foot down about this and several other things that have been bothering me. I told her how unhappy o was about everything and lit her and her father up. She just gave me a thousand yard stare and apologized profusely. I was able to reasserte myself and took control of my household again.
I feel a hundred percent better and it couldn't have gone better. She even agreed to brown dots again.
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
To be fair, I use any and all leverage to obtain more sex in every discussion, no matter the topic. I'm pretty sure I have a problem.Henry Ford said:
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
ExactlyFlying Spaghetti Monster said:
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
Not to be paranoid, but I think I'd be getting a credit check every so often from now on.
Good luck.
Good luck.
SWC
Bromigo
you should have to have a photo id to get a credit check now a days everyone is illegally voting for credit checks take that to the bank bromigos
Chemical X
Footballguy
this thread has likely been solved, but legally, NC and SC are not community property states, so spouses are not legally liable for debts incurred solely by the other. that said, it is admirable to want to help family, but sometimes the decisions are difficult and saying no, especially financially, is tough. either the wife or father here or both are not that bright. I don't understand the need for a single person, over 60, to have to purchase a property if they don't have the funds. don't lock up money, property up keep involved with home ownership, etc. rent and let someone else worry about maintenance and taxes.
here is a quick story of my despair....62 yo mom wants to sell her co-op in ny and move to fla closer to her friends (all married with retirement income, which mom doesn't have). she is in declining health. I am all for the move, co-op worth 200k....but beg her not to buy. beeeggggggg. woman has never changed a light bulb in her life. I tell her to rent, bank the cash and live off it, it's all she has.
of course she buys a permanent double wide, using 165 of the 225 and gets saddled with a lot lease of 395 monthly. r.e. market crashes, end stage renal disease comes and 7 years later guess who owns a double wide now valued at 65k?
sorry to hijack, but sometimes people are simply morons.
here is a quick story of my despair....62 yo mom wants to sell her co-op in ny and move to fla closer to her friends (all married with retirement income, which mom doesn't have). she is in declining health. I am all for the move, co-op worth 200k....but beg her not to buy. beeeggggggg. woman has never changed a light bulb in her life. I tell her to rent, bank the cash and live off it, it's all she has.
of course she buys a permanent double wide, using 165 of the 225 and gets saddled with a lot lease of 395 monthly. r.e. market crashes, end stage renal disease comes and 7 years later guess who owns a double wide now valued at 65k?
sorry to hijack, but sometimes people are simply morons.
AAABatteries
Footballguy
How exactly did that go?
"And under no circumstances are you going to buy a house with your father - it's irresponsible and a slap in the face to me and my wishes. Speaking of wishes - I'm going to start ####### you in the ###. And no changing your mind on the loan thing - it's decided."
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PIK95
Footballguy
mr roboto
Footballguy
