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Work issue - being mixed up with another person - advice? (1 Viewer)

krista4

Footballguy
I'm starting this with "I have a friend," which is not code for me. It really is a friend.

I have a friend at work, "M", who is celebrating her 13th anniversary with the company. (See, definitely not me, as I wouldn't work at the same place that long.) She received a congratulatory message from the head of the department, "K", which is great, except that instead of highlighting M's achievements with the company, K referenced a bunch of work that our other teammate "S" did. M reached out to me dismayed at this mistake but unsure whether she should just let it go or say something.

My advice to her was to say something, but make it into a positive to the extent possible. If I were K, I'd want to know even though I'd feel awful about it. She has several hundred people under her directly or indirectly, and M and S do the same job in the same group and both have "exotic" names (they are not actually M and S), but if I were her I'd want to know in order to make sure it never happened again.

I told M that she could approach it positively by writing back to thank K for the note and to emphasize a couple of reasons that she loves her job and colleagues so much that she's stayed for 13 years. Then say something about how she wouldn't want to take credit for someone else's work, so had to mention that S was actually the one who did that stuff. Then mention a couple of her own achievements (M actually just won a huge team award a couple of weeks ago for a project she did) with something like "S really enjoys that type of project, while I love working on [name a couple of the special notable projects she's done]." End by saying how she looks forward to many more years working on K's team.

What do you think? Any better ideas?
 

facook

Footballguy
I'm starting this with "I have a friend," which is not code for me. It really is a friend.

I have a friend at work, "M", who is celebrating her 13th anniversary with the company. (See, definitely not me, as I wouldn't work at the same place that long.) She received a congratulatory message from the head of the department, "K", which is great, except that instead of highlighting M's achievements with the company, K referenced a bunch of work that our other teammate "S" did. M reached out to me dismayed at this mistake but unsure whether she should just let it go or say something.

My advice to her was to say something, but make it into a positive to the extent possible. If I were K, I'd want to know even though I'd feel awful about it. She has several hundred people under her directly or indirectly, and M and S do the same job in the same group and both have "exotic" names (they are not actually M and S), but if I were her I'd want to know in order to make sure it never happened again.

I told M that she could approach it positively by writing back to thank K for the note and to emphasize a couple of reasons that she loves her job and colleagues so much that she's stayed for 13 years. Then say something about how she wouldn't want to take credit for someone else's work, so had to mention that S was actually the one who did that stuff. Then mention a couple of her own achievements (M actually just won a huge team award a couple of weeks ago for a project she did) with something like "S really enjoys that type of project, while I love working on [name a couple of the special notable projects she's done]." End by saying how she looks forward to many more years working on K's team.

What do you think? Any better ideas?

Actually I think your advice was pretty much spot on. It's classy, and it will be painful for K, but I would think would help her not make the same mistake again.
 

Steeler

Footballguy
I'm starting this with "I have a friend," which is not code for me. It really is a friend.

I have a friend at work, "M", who is celebrating her 13th anniversary with the company. (See, definitely not me, as I wouldn't work at the same place that long.) She received a congratulatory message from the head of the department, "K", which is great, except that instead of highlighting M's achievements with the company, K referenced a bunch of work that our other teammate "S" did. M reached out to me dismayed at this mistake but unsure whether she should just let it go or say something.

My advice to her was to say something, but make it into a positive to the extent possible. If I were K, I'd want to know even though I'd feel awful about it. She has several hundred people under her directly or indirectly, and M and S do the same job in the same group and both have "exotic" names (they are not actually M and S), but if I were her I'd want to know in order to make sure it never happened again.

I told M that she could approach it positively by writing back to thank K for the note and to emphasize a couple of reasons that she loves her job and colleagues so much that she's stayed for 13 years. Then say something about how she wouldn't want to take credit for someone else's work, so had to mention that S was actually the one who did that stuff. Then mention a couple of her own achievements (M actually just won a huge team award a couple of weeks ago for a project she did) with something like "S really enjoys that type of project, while I love working on [name a couple of the special notable projects she's done]." End by saying how she looks forward to many more years working on K's team.

What do you think? Any better ideas?
Your advice was great, but you forgot to tell her to "poop the ceiling" after she hit's send.
 

mr. furley

Footballguy
I'm starting this with "I have a friend," which is not code for me. It really is a friend.

I have a friend at work, "M", who is celebrating her 13th anniversary with the company. (See, definitely not me, as I wouldn't work at the same place that long.) She received a congratulatory message from the head of the department, "K", which is great, except that instead of highlighting M's achievements with the company, K referenced a bunch of work that our other teammate "S" did. M reached out to me dismayed at this mistake but unsure whether she should just let it go or say something.

My advice to her was to say something, but make it into a positive to the extent possible. If I were K, I'd want to know even though I'd feel awful about it. She has several hundred people under her directly or indirectly, and M and S do the same job in the same group and both have "exotic" names (they are not actually M and S), but if I were her I'd want to know in order to make sure it never happened again.

I told M that she could approach it positively by writing back to thank K for the note and to emphasize a couple of reasons that she loves her job and colleagues so much that she's stayed for 13 years. Then say something about how she wouldn't want to take credit for someone else's work, so had to mention that S was actually the one who did that stuff. Then mention a couple of her own achievements (M actually just won a huge team award a couple of weeks ago for a project she did) with something like "S really enjoys that type of project, while I love working on [name a couple of the special notable projects she's done]." End by saying how she looks forward to many more years working on K's team.

What do you think? Any better ideas?

Actually I think your advice was pretty much spot on. It's classy, and it will be painful for K, but I would think would help her not make the same mistake again.
yeah, seems a very nice way to handle it and save face for the congratulator
 

belljr

Footballguy
I probably would never had read the email about me to notice.....

I just got a bonus and my manager sent me the write up. Still haven't opened it ..... :unsure:
 

Van Dyman

Footballguy
She should just tell K that K mixed up her accomplishments with someone else's and let K handle it however she wants. Chances are K will probably make the correction on her own. Or not, which is her prerogative.
 

Angry Beavers

Footballguy
Clearly Leaving Poop in the ceiling is where to start............... as your advice is spot on;
Also, this is just a ploy to motivate Tatum Bell
 

General Malaise

Poop Lord
This is like that time you had a "friend, and not you" who was always pooping. Don't know what to believe anymore to be frank.

I think your suggestion is spot on. "K" (you know....if it's NOT YOU in any of this, pick a different letter maybe? ;) ) can withstand the short term embarrassment to learn a lesson for the long term.
 

krista4

Footballguy
She should just tell K that K mixed up her accomplishments with someone else's and let K handle it however she wants. Chances are K will probably make the correction on her own. Or not, which is her prerogative.

Maybe my post implied that this message went to anyone but M, but to be clear, it didn't.
 

Chris B.

Footballguy
Was K's message about S's accomplishments only to S or was it company wide congratulatory message? If it was only one on one, I would just send a quick correction about the mixup. If it was to the whole company, your more thorough email would be most helpful.
 

Van Dyman

Footballguy
She should just tell K that K mixed up her accomplishments with someone else's and let K handle it however she wants. Chances are K will probably make the correction on her own. Or not, which is her prerogative.

Maybe my post implied that this message went to anyone but M, but to be clear, it didn't.
Ah, I see.

If I were M I'd simply send K an email saying "I didn't to those things. You're thinking of someone else." There would be no point describing my own accomplishments, and no point helping K figure out whose accomplishments he'd stupidly described. Don't do K's work for him. I'm thinking maybe K just DGAF and/or his assistant screwed up?


tldr: what @Chris B. said
 

bigbottom

I put on my robe and wizard hat
I'm starting this with "I have a friend," which is not code for me. It really is a friend.

I have a friend at work, "M", who is celebrating her 13th anniversary with the company. (See, definitely not me, as I wouldn't work at the same place that long.) She received a congratulatory message from the head of the department, "K", which is great, except that instead of highlighting M's achievements with the company, K referenced a bunch of work that our other teammate "S" did. M reached out to me dismayed at this mistake but unsure whether she should just let it go or say something.

My advice to her was to say something, but make it into a positive to the extent possible. If I were K, I'd want to know even though I'd feel awful about it. She has several hundred people under her directly or indirectly, and M and S do the same job in the same group and both have "exotic" names (they are not actually M and S), but if I were her I'd want to know in order to make sure it never happened again.

I told M that she could approach it positively by writing back to thank K for the note and to emphasize a couple of reasons that she loves her job and colleagues so much that she's stayed for 13 years. Then say something about how she wouldn't want to take credit for someone else's work, so had to mention that S was actually the one who did that stuff. Then mention a couple of her own achievements (M actually just won a huge team award a couple of weeks ago for a project she did) with something like "S really enjoys that type of project, while I love working on [name a couple of the special notable projects she's done]." End by saying how she looks forward to many more years working on K's team.

What do you think? Any better ideas?
This seems pretty perfect actually.
 

Gr00vus

Footballguy
She should just tell K that K mixed up her accomplishments with someone else's and let K handle it however she wants. Chances are K will probably make the correction on her own. Or not, which is her prerogative.

Maybe my post implied that this message went to anyone but M, but to be clear, it didn't.
Ah, I see.

If I were M I'd simply send K an email saying "I didn't to those things. You're thinking of someone else." There would be no point describing my own accomplishments, and no point helping K figure out whose accomplishments he'd stupidly described. Don't do K's work for him. I'm thinking maybe K just DGAF and/or his assistant screwed up?


tldr: what @Chris B. said
Yeah, I think M should just reply back something like "I think you may have meant to send this to S rather than me, as these are S's accomplishments." Let K figure it out from there.
 

SWC

Bromigo
do any songs start with ms name because she could play that song like maybe her name is brandy and then when she plays it k will rock out and realize the error of her ways and then over the course of a musical montage they will fully restore a beach side restaurant take that to the bank brohans
 

shuke

Black Ice Skeptic
I'm starting this with "I have a friend," which is not code for me. It really is a friend.

I have a friend at work, "M", who is celebrating her 13th anniversary with the company. (See, definitely not me, as I wouldn't work at the same place that long.) She received a congratulatory message from the head of the department, "K", which is great, except that instead of highlighting M's achievements with the company, K referenced a bunch of work that our other teammate "S" did. M reached out to me dismayed at this mistake but unsure whether she should just let it go or say something.

My advice to her was to say something, but make it into a positive to the extent possible. If I were K, I'd want to know even though I'd feel awful about it. She has several hundred people under her directly or indirectly, and M and S do the same job in the same group and both have "exotic" names (they are not actually M and S), but if I were her I'd want to know in order to make sure it never happened again.

I told M that she could approach it positively by writing back to thank K for the note and to emphasize a couple of reasons that she loves her job and colleagues so much that she's stayed for 13 years. Then say something about how she wouldn't want to take credit for someone else's work, so had to mention that S was actually the one who did that stuff. Then mention a couple of her own achievements (M actually just won a huge team award a couple of weeks ago for a project she did) with something like "S really enjoys that type of project, while I love working on [name a couple of the special notable projects she's done]." End by saying how she looks forward to many more years working on K's team.

What do you think? Any better ideas?

Based on replies it seems I'm in the minority here, but I would leave it at just saying thanks for reaching out, but it was actually S that did the work in question and she doesn't want to take credit for someone else's work. Adding all the other stuff just makes it look like she's fishing for her own praise, and it will be transparent.
 
I’d probably ignore it if I were the employee mentioned. With that said, if a partner/boss I had a relationship with had made that mistake concerning another employee, I’d probably let the partner/boss know. Maybe not even that diplomatically. Because even if it’s an honest mistake, the employee shouldn’t have to bear the burden of trying to figure out how to correct it without pissing anyone off.

Of course, I’m a two-time big law washout, and while lack of diplomacy wasn’t reason number one for my failures, it was on the list.
 

scorchy

Footballguy
If I were K, I'd want to know even though I'd feel awful about it. She has several hundred people under her directly or indirectly, and M and S do the same job in the same group and both have "exotic" names (they are not actually M and S), but if I were her I'd want to know in order to make sure it never happened again.
You gave great advice and glad it worked out for M. I have anxiety about accidentally misspelling/mispronouncing co-workers names, so this situation would likely cause me to break out in hives. Now that it's resolved, one other thing is bugging me - how did the department head, with "several hundred people under her," mess this up? Did K make the mistake on her own? Or did someone farther down the chain (let's call her X) tell K how much it would mean for M to receive a congratulatory email from a Dept Head rather than a regular-old partner and then X screwed up when providing the details for the content of the mail to K?
 

krista4

Footballguy
You gave great advice and glad it worked out for M. I have anxiety about accidentally misspelling/mispronouncing co-workers names, so this situation would likely cause me to break out in hives. Now that it's resolved, one other thing is bugging me - how did the department head, with "several hundred people under her," mess this up? Did K make the mistake on her own? Or did someone farther down the chain (let's call her X) tell K how much it would mean for M to receive a congratulatory email from a Dept Head rather than a regular-old partner and then X screwed up when providing the details for the content of the mail to K?

I am not sure how it happened and don't know if the congratulatory emails are a regular thing. I'd suspect that K's admin keeps a list and gives her a list of anniversaries every day, but K herself might add the "flair."

By the way, I don't know what you mean by "regular-old partner," but maybe you thought I was speaking of a law firm or something like that? The employer in question is an international healthcare company, and K is the head of the legal department, which comprises approximately 400 people.
 

scorchy

Footballguy
By the way, I don't know what you mean by "regular-old partner," but maybe you thought I was speaking of a law firm or something like that? The employer in question is an international healthcare company, and K is the head of the legal department, which comprises approximately 400 people.

Just a wrong assumption. I have law firms on the brain.
 

Tick

Footballguy
She should demand a raise - add her actual accomplishments to the fake accomplishments in the letter and she's a goddess.

Also, the exotic names part hints at some "can't tell those types apart" that might be a bigger problem.
 

Dinsy Ejotuz

Footballguy
I told M that she could approach it positively by writing back to thank K for the note and to emphasize a couple of reasons that she loves her job and colleagues so much that she's stayed for 13 years. Then say something about how she wouldn't want to take credit for someone else's work, so had to mention that S was actually the one who did that stuff. Then mention a couple of her own achievements (M actually just won a huge team award a couple of weeks ago for a project she did) with something like "S really enjoys that type of project, while I love working on [name a couple of the special notable projects she's done]." End by saying how she looks forward to many more years working on K's team.
Spot on IMO.
 

DJackson10

Footballguy
I'm starting this with "I have a friend," which is not code for me. It really is a friend.

I have a friend at work, "M", who is celebrating her 13th anniversary with the company. (See, definitely not me, as I wouldn't work at the same place that long.) She received a congratulatory message from the head of the department, "K", which is great, except that instead of highlighting M's achievements with the company, K referenced a bunch of work that our other teammate "S" did. M reached out to me dismayed at this mistake but unsure whether she should just let it go or say something.

My advice to her was to say something, but make it into a positive to the extent possible. If I were K, I'd want to know even though I'd feel awful about it. She has several hundred people under her directly or indirectly, and M and S do the same job in the same group and both have "exotic" names (they are not actually M and S), but if I were her I'd want to know in order to make sure it never happened again.

I told M that she could approach it positively by writing back to thank K for the note and to emphasize a couple of reasons that she loves her job and colleagues so much that she's stayed for 13 years. Then say something about how she wouldn't want to take credit for someone else's work, so had to mention that S was actually the one who did that stuff. Then mention a couple of her own achievements (M actually just won a huge team award a couple of weeks ago for a project she did) with something like "S really enjoys that type of project, while I love working on [name a couple of the special notable projects she's done]." End by saying how she looks forward to many more years working on K's team.

What do you think? Any better ideas?

That's a red flag right there. Most companies don't appreciate their employees work. Doesn't matter a mistake like that on an employees anniversary is completely unacceptable. Your friend should ask the boss why they made the reference. SHe'll find out real quick what her standing with the company is. I celebrated 18 yrs at my job but have realized in the last 2 I'm under appreciated by many people I went out of my way to actually help. Currently I'm looking for new employment after they upped new hires to almost the same pay I get now and don't seem in any real rush to up the pay for myself and others.

What I mean by this is if her supervisor/boss gets defensive about it she'll know it wasn't a mistake. Hopefully it was just that and they apologize to her for it.
 
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DJackson10

Footballguy
Whatever happens make sure  you "your friend" replies to all. I always enjoy the reply all follow ups

Yep always a good way to call out someone in the wrong. Make sure everyone else knows whats going on so it doesn't happen to them. I had a friend who left his job which was pretty toxic a few yrs ago. Before he left he told people and lied how he made more then this and that person in the company which wasn't true. However it led to a whole **** storm of issues being looked into by his former coworkers. There was a mass exit there after and he sat back and enjoyed watching the whole thing. He has a way better position now with a great working environment. If and when I ever leave work I might do something similar but actually state facts to people. Get people riled up and then watch the aftermath from afar. There's quite a few people I currently work with that need some cold hard truth or be told off.
 

Otis

Footballguy
Eh. I'm a fly below the radar type unless something really fires me up. For this, I might just say "neat, thanks" and move on. But your advice is still probably better.
 

Zow

Footballguy
You gave great advice and glad it worked out for M. I have anxiety about accidentally misspelling/mispronouncing co-workers names, so this situation would likely cause me to break out in hives. Now that it's resolved, one other thing is bugging me - how did the department head, with "several hundred people under her," mess this up? Did K make the mistake on her own? Or did someone farther down the chain (let's call her X) tell K how much it would mean for M to receive a congratulatory email from a Dept Head rather than a regular-old partner and then X screwed up when providing the details for the content of the mail to K?

I am not sure how it happened and don't know if the congratulatory emails are a regular thing. I'd suspect that K's admin keeps a list and gives her a list of anniversaries every day, but K herself might add the "flair."
The bold is exactly how it works in my office. I imagine K just got the two individuals mixed up somehow - probably rushed it out. It's a bit hurtful, but hopefully your friend is otherwise content with the job and, if so, it's just a "shrug it off" moment.
 

parasaurolophus

Footballguy
Take full credit for it all. Ask for a raise. Sleep with k's wife.

And then m should crap m's pants and put it in the drop ceiling above k's office.
 

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