Are you an alcoholic? (1 Viewer)

[Spoonerist]

As I've gotten older I am less able to tell when it's going to hit me, so I end up crazy ####-hammered more often than I'd like.  I mean I don't remember what happened, what I said, etc.

and then have horrible hangovers that I are a lot worse than I used have.  

I don't want to stop, but the challenge is that I really like it, but I need to find a way to dial it down (mix in water breaks, etc.) and just not get "over the edge".  The challenge is that the line changes too often ...one night I can hammer 7-8 large VO & diet cokes and be fine ...

I find this to a lesser extent an issue with craft beer. I almost never get hangovers, hopefully because I'm stopping at the right time... but it's fine to say I had 3 beers in a night... On the nights where they're double IPAs or Imperial Stouts, it's a much different level of consumption/drunkenness than it is with pilsners. 

The few times it's gotten away from me recently, I've realized it's been a result of drinking big beers early in the night and not properly adjusting/accounting for that difference. 

 

[Binky The Doormat]

I find this to a lesser extent an issue with craft beer. I almost never get hangovers, hopefully because I'm stopping at the right time... but it's fine to say I had 3 beers in a night... On the nights where they're double IPAs or Imperial Stouts, it's a much different level of consumption/drunkenness than it is with pilsners. 

The few times it's gotten away from me recently, I've realized it's been a result of drinking big beers early in the night and not properly adjusting/accounting for that difference. 

I know a big part of the difference of that "drunk line" being different is eating ...the issue is - I completely lose my appetite after having just a couple.  I love drinking when I cook and there are so many times I don't eat dinner because I have had several drinks.  

 

[Spoonerist]

I know a big part of the difference of that "drunk line" being different is eating ...the issue is - I completely lose my appetite after having just a couple.  I love drinking when I cook and there are so many times I don't eat dinner because I have had several drinks.  

I'm the opposite, I have some sort of mental connection between beer and pub food, snacks, wings, pizza etc... which is why my major concern with drinking isn't even as much the alcohol as it is the overall health impact of being overweight because of the drinking nights. 

 

[Sea Duck]

Oh, and your friends will not call you up to go to happy hour. Not because they're ####ty friends. Because they are worried they will tempt you and some will fear a lecture. And some don't want to be around someone who doesn't imbibe because they are worried that they shouldn't either. I had to convince a few that it really isn't a problem. I'm not going to lecture or be tempted. It's about the camaraderie. 

I lost a couple of friends because of this. I stopped drinking every weekend, they didn't. They didn't want to hang out anymore -- ever. Not because I wasn't fun to be around, but because I was an unspoken reminder of their own issues.

 

[tuffnutt]

I know a big part of the difference of that "drunk line" being different is eating ...the issue is - I completely lose my appetite after having just a couple.  I love drinking when I cook and there are so many times I don't eat dinner because I have had several drinks.  

This, to me has been especially challenging... doing the things that usually drink while I do. For me, when I grill, I drink. When I do yard work, I drink. When I play golf, I drink. Breaking that association had been the hard, but it’s getting easier. I actually did all 3 this weekend without  a beer... and honestly didn’t even give it much thought. 

 

[bostonfred]

Some questions for discussion.

What would happen if you ran out of alcohol and you just didn't buy any more?

Have you done this recently?

Whatnwas (or would be) the moment that you cracked and headed to the store?  

Is that moment a want?  A need?  Some kind of event? 

 

[culdeus]

https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2020/12/08/no-alcohol-for-2-months-russia-tells-coronavirus-vaccine-recipients-a72280

 

[IvanKaramazov]

Oh, I totally know the answers to these.

Some questions for discussion.

What would happen if you ran out of alcohol and you just didn't buy any more?

I wouldn't drink.  If there's no booze in the house, I'm not tempted, and I can't be arsed to make a special trip just to buy some.  Easy as pie.  For about two weeks or so.

Have you done this recently?

Every Lent.  And every once in a while outside of Lent when I feel like I need to dry out.

Whatnwas (or would be) the moment that you cracked and headed to the store?  

Sitting around on a Saturday or Sunday late afternoon and feeling the uncontrollable need to have a drink in my hand.  Like I can feel the weight of the glass, how the liquor sloshes around in it, how it smells, etc.

Or I get the itch to swing through the liquor store on my way home from work because it's been two weeks since I've had a drink.

Is that moment a want?  A need?  Some kind of event? 

Definitely "need."  It goes well beyond "Gee, I would really like a drink -- a couple of glasses of wine would be pleasant."  It's like I go from barely thinking about alcohol at 3:00 to not being able to think about anything else at 5:00.

It should go without saying that I 100% know that this is a sign of a problem.  Just explaining it for folks who don't have this experience.

 

[Dickies]

Some questions for discussion.

What would happen if you ran out of alcohol and you just didn't buy any more?

Have you done this recently?

Whatnwas (or would be) the moment that you cracked and headed to the store?  

Is that moment a want?  A need?  Some kind of event? 

For me it's less about the alcohol and more that I just like drinking good beer.  I've run out of beer a few times during the pandemic and have gone maybe a week without a drink.  I could have turned to the liquor cabinet, or opened a bottle of wine, but those are drinks I enjoy more in a social setting.  I voted that I drink more than I should, but could stop any time.  The reality is that while I may take a few weeks or a month off, I enjoy drinking beers too much (especially after a workout) to give it up forever.

 

[Binky The Doormat]

@DadandBuried

·13m

Say that to my face

Quote Tweet

@UberFacts

· 2h

Pigs can become alcoholics.

 

[FUBAR]

A couple drinks most days. I'll pop open a beer during the last hour of work many days, then one with dinner. Occasionally whiskey and water after that. 

I should cut back to one a day, but I never drink more than 3. I went dry for lent, until we were all confined to home with the 5 kids. 

 

[moleculo]

honestly, I drink less now than before.  

 

[Judge Smails]

Love how positive this thread is becoming. Thank you to the people who are sharing their experiences and taking this seriously. 

Also I owe @Judge Smails an apology I misunderstood your post earlier. Appreciate you coming back to discuss. I'm glad I got to make that rant but it shouldn't have been directed at your post. 

Thanks Fred.  No apology necessary but it's appreciated.  I know you have positive intent and lead by example.  Inspiring - keep it up.

 

[Bamboo Bill]

I probably fit the definition of a functioning alcoholic.  I've been drinking for more than 30 years and have never really stopped. However, the past 4 or 5 years I have started to drink considerably less, especially during the week. I also recently took 16 days off in a row which was probably the longest time period in a decade. I've never really drank during the day or let it interfere with work. My only issue is when I'm in a situation of drinking I have trouble stopping. This probably only happens once a month or once every other month.  

The other thing I need to add is that I'm working on this basically alone. No kids, single for two years now. In the past, I had a significant other keeping me in check. I feel like I've done an exceptional job reducing my intake, making mostly good decision, and checking myself truly just for myself and no one else.  

 

[TheFanatic]

This is the part that's hitting me the hardest.  I have 2 young kids and they'll often see me going down to the basement to make a drink.  They have no idea what it means but it's still embarrassing.  Other than that, I think I'm a pretty good dad.  I'm certainly not an angry drinker (probably the complete opposite) so they never really see any type of "dark" side with me.  And I'm healthy in all other aspects of my life.  But the drinking is a real problem and something I know that I need to get under control (if I want to stay a good dad for a long time).  

That was a big thing for me too. Our society is all about drinking (times are good, have a beer, they will be better. Times are bad, have a drink, they will be better). They didn't need me encouraging them by simply having a drink in my hand way too frequently. At first, I decided they didn't need to see dad with a beer so I didn't drink anything till they went to bed. That actually made the transition easier. I had cut back and then just made the jump to cut it out completely. 

 

[TheFanatic]

I lost a couple of friends because of this. I stopped drinking every weekend, they didn't. They didn't want to hang out anymore -- ever. Not because I wasn't fun to be around, but because I was an unspoken reminder of their own issues.

Exactly. There's just nothing we can do about that one. I can show them I don't care if they drink. I can pour them a drink in my house. I can go have a good time with them when they are pounding drinks, but in the end, they are still being reminded of the issues they have to deal with. It sucks. A couple of my buddies I go out and grab lunch with. It is too early for them to drink and we can catch up and hang out without it hanging over anyone's head. That's my social outlet now that I work for myself and have no coworkers to interact with. 

 

[Bossman]

What is the definition of an alcoholic?

 ... is it anyone that abuses alcohol? ... abuses alcohol on a regular basis? ... or is it an actual addiction to alcohol?

I"ll admit, I'm an abuser. I don't think I'm addicted.

  52 years old, I typically like to get a good social drunk going on Saturday night, after work, at home with the wife and friends or at our camp in the summer with friends (no driving).

This may involve shots of booze to get lubed up ... followed by beer after beer ... until it's time to call it a night.

Other than that, I have no interest in drinking during the week ... and only sometimes I will have 1-3 beers on Sunday playing cornhole or watching football.

 So weekends, holidays, & vacation obviously. I don't consider that to be an alcoholic. Do you? Am I in denial?

If I chose to stop drinking alcohol to get in better shape (I'm already pretty fit) ... or was forced to stop because of health reasons, I feel that I'd have no problem doing that.

 

[Judge Smails]

Anybody use I Am Sober? Read this today in an article about stickiness of mobile apps

I Am Sober, another community-based app, allows users to track their sobriety, derive support from other app users, and share their own stories. While the core utility and community access is free, I Am Sober monetizes through a set of premium features, such as a subscriber badge, access to an iWatch companion app, custom skins, and bonus motivation packs to help users stay on track. 

 

[IC FBGCav]

Yes, functioning binge drinker.  I can keep it to once or twice a week.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Just seeing this. Thanks for starting and I love we can talk about it here. 

Put me down for any google doc or tracking or whatever.

If we want to add some juice to a contest or goal or anything fun, I'll put up $500 towards that. Plus fun title in your forum avatar or something. Open to ideas there. 

For drinking, I'm fine but it's something I think is important to consider how people "relate" to alcohol.

I understand addiction. I lost my younger brother to opioid related issues 10 years ago. And by "lost" I mean he's not alive anymore. 

I can totally see how it be a problem for people. I'm the luckiest guy I know. I'm not trying to escape from anything even remotely. If I were, I can see how it could be a thing. For me, it's a couple of Old Fashioneds usually. Sometimes add a couple of beers on Friday making it 4 "drinks" over a 6 hour period of time. 

I do think it's good to talk about this stuff judgement free. Let's keep it going and see where it leads. 

 

[Joe Bryant]

Joe (or anyone else) if you PM me an email address, I’ll add you to the Google doc.

bryant@footballguys.com is good for me. 

 

[AAABatteries]

Some questions for discussion.

What would happen if you ran out of alcohol and you just didn't buy any more?

We moved back in the spring during the beginning parts of the pandemic.  The new home we moved in to has a wet bar.  Nothing extravagant but it's pretty cool and more than the vast majority of homes have.  Of course, having the new bar plus the pandemic made me stock the bar pretty good.  Then, as I mentioned earlier in the thread, I've kind of gotten in to bourbon "collecting" - nothing crazy like icon but I have what most people would consider a lot.  Probably 25-30 bottles of bourbon/rye, and another 20-25 bottles of other stuff in the wet bar.  At this point, I could probably go 1-2 years and not run out if it was just for myself. 

But, in the last few years I have run out and intentionally not bought anything new - but always because of diet/weight reasons - never because I thought I drank too much.  I look at alcohol in the same way I look at other things I eat/drink that aren't optimal health-wise - as long as I do it in moderation it's not an issue.  I'm actually much better at moderating my alcohol intake than I am my food intake (mostly processed food and sugar).

 

[Honus]

Got it. Invite sent.

Let me know if you can access and edit without a Gmail account. (I’m not really sure.)

Though if people want to email me, I can just update for everyone’s behalf if it’s read only.

Please let me know what happens when you get the invite.

Hey, I’ve never used Google docs before. I think I have made an edit on line 9. Let me know if it doesn’t show up. And then let me know how to make it show up

Also, feel free to fix my formatting so everything is uniform.

 

[Sea Duck]

It's a question I've asked of myself a few different times in my life.. and each time it's "No, I really don't think so".

I much more of a social drinker.. we do a lot of "couples" get togethers, game nights, etc.. that always involves alcohol.. golf league, pontoon boat rides, etc.. alcohol

But I rarely have any alcohol in the fridge.. I don't come home from work and "crack one open".. I hardly ever drink at home or crave alcohol.. I don't think about drinking or not drinking..

Have you considered the possibility that the reason why you don't have alcohol in your fridge is because you know that your next social engagement is right around the corner?

 

[Honus]

You did great. You’re free to track in any way that helps you, but I made a couple quick edits to make it simpler.

One, when you’re at or under your goal, which you set in oz, that’s a green box, not red. And to simplify, I just reduced your more detailed accounting to a single sum for number of ounces.

I happen to be tracking in glasses of wine, not ounces, and I’m defining that as a 5oz pour. (There are 25oz in a 750ml bottle.) Occasionally, I may substitute a 12oz beer for a 5oz glass of wine, but same limits apply. 

I also decided to give myself an extra glass on weekends, so tracking on two rows instead of your one (one for weekdays, one for weekends.)

Feel free to ignore the suggestion and track it anyway you want. 

Notice in my legend on the sheet, I allow for a yellow box, which I labeled “Better than fail.” 

You can define that any way you want, but for me if I had 3 glasses instead of two, I’d like to distinguish that from when I drink the full bottle. That way having a bunch of red boxes actually means more in terms of going off rails. 

Ideally we see mostly green, and some yellow. Of course, all of us will mostly likely have a share of red. My one ask, and I’ll abide by it, is under no circumstances edit the truth. Document what you actually did. We don’t really know each other. There is no judgment.

That’s fantastic, i’ve probably said too ambitious a goal as I am tapering (terrified of DTs) so I will probably have more red unless I temper my expectations.

One line will be enough for me since weekdays and weekends are all about the same in my life.

One thing though, sometimes I drink the hard stuff, and sometimes I drink beer. Sometimes I drink both. How do you think I should itemize that?

 

[Honus]

1 ounce hard stuff =

5oz wine =

12oz beer

Let’s keep it in number of drinks. Yes, there can be a range of proofs and alcohol by volume, but let’s keep it that simple.

Set the number of drinks instead of ounces, and I’ll set the number of drinks instead of glasses.

OK, that will work.

 

[Honus]

1 ounce hard stuff =

5oz wine =

12oz beer

Let’s keep it in number of drinks. Yes, there can be a range of proofs and alcohol by volume, but let’s keep it that simple.

Set the number of drinks instead of ounces, and I’ll set the number of drinks instead of glasses.

I think Google says 1.5 oz, but we can make it one. I know I’m splitting hairs, I just want to get this stuff sorted out from the very beginning.

 

[Honus]

OK, one last thing and then I will be quiet, thoughI have to admit I like that this is bringing my post count up.

Loving the idea of a color scheme for quick reference. I’m just wondering if you mean:

Green = 0 / Yellow = Less than or equal to daily goal / red = More than daily goal
OR Green = achieved a daily goal / yellow = missed daily goal / red = missed daily goal abysmally

 

[Terminalxylem]

I lost a couple of friends because of this. I stopped drinking every weekend, they didn't. They didn't want to hang out anymore -- ever. Not because I wasn't fun to be around, but because I was an unspoken reminder of their own issues.

Choosing not to drink in high school changed my entire social trajectory, as I was effectively ostracized from my drinking peers. It’s really silly how ingrained alcohol is with “fun”, such that anyone who doesn’t imbibe is automatically considered judgmental and un-fun. Fortunately most people grow out of that mindset, eventually.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Joe (or anyone else) if you PM me an email address, I’ll add you to the Google doc.

BTW, unless I missed something, you said couple Old Fashioneds is up to 5 ounces, then said some nights there are 2-3 beers on top, then you said that’s 4-5 drinks. But that’s the equivalent of up to 8.

Just comparing to my “poison,” that would be going on bottle and a half to two bottles, which for me is a multi-day recovery.

Zero judgment, but I may have pinned my needle at 8 drinks twice this year and it was anything but boring. But we’re all wired differently.

Sorry, you're right, I wasn't clear. I do think it's best to talk in terms of total drinks. And have an agreed definition of "a drink".

1.5 oz hard liquor / 5 oz wine / 12 oz beer I think is fine. 

One Old Fashioned drink should have about 1.5 oz Bourbon or Whiskey. 

So a couple of Old Fashioneds and 3 beers would be 5 "drinks". 

One huge part of that equation though, and something that's super important is TIME. 

If I were to have that much, there would be 2 big requirements:

1. It would be spread out equally over 5+ hours.

2. Goes without saying, no driving.

I can't remember where I read it but I thought I remembered reading somewhere for an average sized male, limiting a "drink" to one per hour was the right pace. Is that right? 

 

[Joe Bryant]

Just noting, because I’m that guy - 

Topic asks - “are you an alcoholic?” 
First post asks - “are you worried about your drinking?”

Different questions!
 

Almost all of the replies answer the unasked question, “how much do you drink”?

Agreed. That's likely a needed thread and poll question.

But even more - it needs the clear definition of "one drink". 

There's a ton of subjectivity and feeling on this subject. Everyone is different of course but at some point, it comes down to actual consumption and time. 

 

[fred_1_15301]

Cutting the drinking during the week has so many positive consequences.  Exercising more at night to distract from drinking, going to sleep earlier, feeling more rejuvenated in the morning, giving me something to look forward to for Friday, etc.  It turns out that you can actually enjoy watching a show, game or movie at night without having a drink in your hand.  

 

[beef]

I'm not sure if I am or not.  I do know that the World is a better place when I don't drink, and I'm a little less a-holish.  It's been a while now that I haven't drank and I really don't miss it.  

 

[playin4beer]

Have you considered the possibility that the reason why you don't have alcohol in your fridge is because you know that your next social engagement is right around the corner?

I hadn't considered that.. but it's a definite possibility.. although since Covid, those obviously have slowed down to a crawl..  I do keep a big bottle of Sam's Club vodka in a cabinet.. but that usually lasts me a few months.  I have quit cold turkey before, just to see if I could do it and it wasn't a problem.  I was at a wedding reception and got asked about 500 times why I wasn't drinking and I said, "because I don't feel like it"..  Just lately, I've really lost the taste for beer.. If I am drinking, it's usually a mixed drink and then only one or two..

 

[Jutz]

I feel like this thread needs this song

Drinkin' Problem - Midland

 

[grateful zed]

didnt read all the options,  

i just clicked 'yes'.  

 

[Ministry of Pain]

I am a functioning alcoholic. I can binge at any time if I am not careful. Thru the pandemic I find myself cracking beers before Noon...sometime at 9am after Tennis, just plow right into them for a bit.  

I don't drink as much Scotch but I love me some high end tequila and then some tacos shortly after, the kind with just meat n onions in them they sell out of trucks. 

I drink all day on Sundays during the NFL season, but I don't drink much on Saturdays, few beers coming off the Courts. M-F is up and down, some days nothing and others I am knee deep in happy hour, usually on Wed because I don't have Tennis or some other physical activity drawing me in so I just drink. 

That's a good start, I'm sure others laugh and think that's not even close to being an alcoholic but I also can't stand the thought of no alcohol so that kind of makes me one I think. 

 

[Ministry of Pain]

I would like to change my vote to the bottom 24 down there, that's probably where I am. 

Know I drink too much and don't want to stop, in fact there's a cold can with my name on it in the fridge...yeah it's almost 11am, I can keep reading files in my living room and sip a beer and play another record or soundtrack. 

 

[Ministry of Pain]

I am really pushing it. I can't go a day or two without hopping up to some fairly vacant end of a bar for a quick shot or two and somehow justify that. 

I am not tying one on at night but I am day drinking when people are not looking. I seem to find the bartenders that are looking for drinking buddies or like to pour one for themselves and one for me. People are miserable right now in the hospitality industry, you throw a $20 bill up on the bar and tell them to keep it, you might not pay for a drink all afternoon. 

 

[Don't Toews Me]

Want an easy way to sober up? Get the Russian covid vaccine.

 

[DropKick]

I'm still working on the same 12 pack I've had in the fridge since February about 4:00 this afternoon. 

 

[Alex P Keaton]

Want an easy way to sober up? Get the Russian covid vaccine.

Wouldn’t those criteria rule out most Russians?  (Asking for a friend)

 

[TheFanatic]

For those needing a little extra motivation to cut back, here's one I learned after I quit. Alcohol is a Group 1 carcinogen. It is in the same group as arsenic, asbestos, formaldehyde, mustard gas, nickel compounds, and neutron radiation. So not only is the crap ton of sugar sending you on the fast track to pre-diabeetus [/WilfredBrimley] but the alcohol itself is poison. 

But why haven't you heard of this before? See, the same law firms and PR companies that shielded the tobacco companies for decades are now working for the liquor and beer companies. The thought of ingesting cigarette smoke seems almost comical now in hindsight.

 

[TheFanatic]

I’ve read all kinds of studies on benefits of wine if you can limit to no more than 9 ounces a day. Problem is, I’ve probably averaged 15 ounces over the past two decades, and 20 ounces this year.  

Having some heart health benefits with a little pancreatic cancer is not necessarily the trade off I'm looking for. For me, I wish I had learned this earlier. 

 

[ShamrockPride]

The only thing I even enjoy enough to get that blasted off of is a Malibu & Coke. And I'd have a lot more health issues than just alcoholism if I were drinking that much soda.

 

[Terminalxylem]

I’ve read all kinds of studies on benefits of wine if you can limit to no more than 9 ounces a day. Problem is, I’ve probably averaged 15 ounces over the past two decades, and 20 ounces this year.  

There are benefits from red wine consumption, but the moderation part eludes most people. As a result, no level of alcohol consumption is considered healthy. 

 

[Terminalxylem]

For those needing a little extra motivation to cut back, here's one I learned after I quit. Alcohol is a Group 1 carcinogen. It is in the same group as arsenic, asbestos, formaldehyde, mustard gas, nickel compounds, and neutron radiation. So not only is the crap ton of sugar sending you on the fast track to pre-diabeetus [/WilfredBrimley] but the alcohol itself is poison. 

But why haven't you heard of this before? See, the same law firms and PR companies that shielded the tobacco companies for decades are now working for the liquor and beer companies. The thought of ingesting cigarette smoke seems almost comical now in hindsight.

Obesity is a risk factor for cancer, too.

 

[The Iguana]

Answered "I can see how it would go bad but I'm nowhere near that point" but that's pretty much been my answer forever. My dad is a recovering alcoholic. It's been 31 years and counting since he had a drink - well over half my life now. But it's not hard to remember a number of tough times growing up associated with his drinking - he wasn't fall down drunk or anything, basically a "functional alcoholic" but there were times. He got sober right at the end of my senior year of high school and part of his treatment was having the entire family go to some meetings/counseling. Learned enough to know that I could/would/should follow in his footsteps. I didn't but I totally can recognize how that was a possible path I could have followed. 

With this year being what it is, I definitely recognize that this is true. I have long been able to easily envision an alternate universe/timeline where I ended up having drinking issues. This year more than any other I can definitely see it. That said, I don't think I'm anywhere near that point. I only have a beer or 3 and only on an occasional basis but there's just enough there to know that I could be very happy having more than a couple and more often than occasionally. 

 

[Ministry of Pain]

Maybe it's time to come clean...I'm glad we have a thread for some that have used their addiction for a while and transferred it on to say health which I think maybe what I did for a bit. 

Lately, not so good. 

Very emotional roller coaster going on right now, couldn't explain it if I tried but I do leave breadcrumb trails. I try to just follow positive vibrations and that's what took me into the main health thread where I found Fred and the ragtag crew of folks that don't try and be something they're not. 

It's 4:20 and I have not eaten much, little bit of a Last Supper style bread loaf and about a half to 2/3 bottle of red wine, just deliciousness. Buddy checked in on me and asked me to come hit with him at the tennis courts tonight prior to Doubles League, that got me to seal the bottle back up and try to figure out a better meal plan prior to game time...but let's not sugarcoat it, despite the evening tennis, nothing I posted is real healthy or good for long term stability. 

I'm going to end it there. Hopefully I don't embarrass myself tonight at the courts. 

 

[bostonfred]

I'm not going to quote you or say your name in this post in case you have second thoughts about posting that but the way you've mentioned your drinking a few times recently... it honestly sounds like you're looking for someone to tell you that you are drinking too much. Now that you're posting in this thread I'll be the guy.

I think you're concerned about your own drinking. I think you're starting earlier and earlier and that's often a bad sign.  I think you might be self medicating because you are unhappy with other things. I think you're letting it interfere with things that are important to you, and risking embarrassing yourself in front of your social group by playing sports while you are half in the bag.  I think it's dangerous to play when you've been drinking and a good way to get yourself or someone else hurt. I'm not trying to break your balls but I've heard you mention some real red flags like overtipping a bartender at noon on a weekday,drinking shots at lunch, or today it sounds like you were eating nothing but bread so you'd have room for wine.

When's the last time you tried taking some time off?