A buddy suggested this and I did exactly the same thing. Helps them learn to live on a reasonable budget.Absolutely! I charged both of my sons rent as adults. If you aren’t going to school/university, then you will have.a job and pay rent.
Neither questioned it and both were happy when we handed them a check of their rent payments when they finally moved out.
Depends on situation. mine I went to college not great success stayed at my current job since the end of JR year of HS. I pay rent. About $300 a month $250 board and room and $50 for my phone still on their account. I buy my own stuff when it comes to clothes and beer and such and they still cook. I don't make enough to live on my own but I also do a few other chores around the house.Do you charge your adult kid rent?
If not, why?
If so, what are the factors that initiated it? (age, started career, was just lazy,???)
Love this idea, will put to use someday.Absolutely! I charged both of my sons rent as adults. If you aren’t going to school/university, then you will have.a job and pay rent.
Neither questioned it and both were happy when we handed them a check of their rent payments when they finally moved out.
Could be a blanket rule to charge something.This has to be one of the clearest “it depends” of all time. Can’t imagine ever having a blanket rule on this.
They are staying into their 30’s these days, so making it too easy only encourages them to stay longer even if they don’t need to financially.I may be in the minority, but I can't ever see myself charging one of my kids to live in our home. That just wouldn't ever feel right.
I'm all for teaching responsibility, but if my kid is an adult and living at home, there's got to be a reason. I would hope I've already helped teach the skills and responsibility needed so we aren't in that situation without it being a good choice for whatever reason.
I'm not in that spot yet, but I would imagine I'd feel more comfortable forcing them to move out and find their own place than stay at home and ask for rent money.
I don't think not charging rent makes it too easy. In fact, if one of our kids is still at home as an adult, they will still have rules to follow while living here. I'm quite sure what we would expect from a rule standpoint would be much more of an impetus to move than having to pay rent. For example, they aren't coming home at 1am, drinking in our house, bringing over boyfriend/girlfriends to stay, etc. And they wouldn't be allowed to stay unless following those rules.They are staying into their 30’s these days, so making it too easy only encourages them to stay longer even if they don’t need to financially.
Fair enough.This has to be one of the clearest “it depends” of all time. Can’t imagine ever having a blanket rule on this.
Love this idea, will put to use someday.Absolutely! I charged both of my sons rent as adults. If you aren’t going to school/university, then you will have.a job and pay rent.
Neither questioned it and both were happy when we handed them a check of their rent payments when they finally moved out.
This.I may be in the minority, but I can't ever see myself charging one of my kids to live in our home. That just wouldn't ever feel right.
I'm all for teaching responsibility, but if my kid is an adult and living at home, there's got to be a reason. I would hope I've already helped teach the skills and responsibility needed so we aren't in that situation without it being a good choice for whatever reason. If I failed in that aspect, I don't think charging rent fixes it.
I'm not in that spot yet, but I would imagine I'd feel more comfortable forcing them to move out and find their own place than stay at home and ask for rent money.
See, I don't think charging rent fixes the issue here. I would be having him move out. Not because you don't love him or don't want him around, but because it's time.Fair enough.
I'll fill in some of the variables. At least for my situation.
Our son graduated high school at 16 1/2. Our kids were home schooled and we went year round. He obtained his GED and had all state requirements. After home schooling, we paid for all three of our kids to take 6 college courses over the next year. Computer literacy skills, speech, math, english and two others of their choice. This son decided that he didn't want to continue taking classes. He was also working at Target and moved to Whole Foods. After about 2 years of saving, he decided to go back to school for welding. Our agreement is that our kids have to pay for half of their schooling. Which he did. And was able to get a scholarship for some of it. He had enough saved from working full time that he was easily able to pay for his half. He also was free to spend his money on whatever he wanted. The agreement was that we wouldn't charge any of them rent as long as they were attending school. What we did request is that they help out. His job was to mow the yard, shovel/snow blow the sidewalk and driveway, and take the trash out. (of course pick up after himself).
Since I retired this past Spring, he didn't mow the yard. I did. He hasn't taken the trash out in months. (even though I've pointed this out to him). He's now graduated and has started a job a couple of months ago making $40k a year. Just as before, he pays for his cell phone, car insurance and car licensing. He has no other bills. He gets unlimited high speed internet. A personal shopper that buys his groceries and stocks the pantry for him. And all the other consumables that a person would need.
Here's the rub. I mentioned to my wife that he should pay rent. She was kind of in agreement, but thinks we should wait a year before doing so. In a moment of weakness or lack of thought, I asked why one year was the magical time frame? Why not 6 months or 3 months? Her answer was that he can save more and be better prepared to move out. I don't think he's going to prepare anything until he actually moves out. He's got no responsibilities other than work, sleep, and video games. Because he doesn't want to have to prep food for his lunch, he has asked us to by Hot Pockets or prepared foods that make it easier for him to take for lunch. I kind of understand this, as he doesn't get 30 minutes for lunch. Instead they pay him for his three 15 minute breaks. In another moment of weakness, I asked if he was going to eat Burger King every day, should we send lunch money with him? I'm probably getting a lump of coal in my stocking. (If I'm lucky)
EDIT: Forgot to add, after graduation, we cut a check for him that covered the portion of college he paid for. So, he's back to where he started prior to classes. Minus beer money.
Just had a long conversation with our daughter. Wanted to get her opinion on this, since she will be in the same boat next summer. She said that we should charge him $1000 a month.See, I don't think charging rent fixes the issue here. I would be having him move out. Not because you don't love him or don't want him around, but because it's time.
Home is still a security blanket for him. He still wants help with lunch. Going by the limited information here, I get the impression that he'll go with this situation for as long as it's available because of convenience.
If you are no longer in school, you have a job, then you are an adult and need to be living on your own. I don't think it'll be easy to accomplish at this point, but I think that's the best next step, not starting to charge rent.
My $.02
LOL, don’t rush it. My oldest just turned 30 and has been out of the house for 4 years now. He still comes by regularly but you kiss those little random exchanges when they aren’t there all of the time. Sunday football is probably what I miss most. He and 4-5 of his buddies use to hang with me and watch/talk football all day, asking for FF tips from the old man .... good times!If there's one thing I've learned from this thread is that I need to make it much more miserable for my kids at home right now so they will have no desire to stay with us after they turn 18.
Anecdotal warning - my wife moved home for a year post grad. Her parents did not charge her rent. She made a very modest salary year one. But since she was home with minimal expenses she saved enough for a down payment on a house in less than a year. Had she been paying rent then she would not have bought a house so soon.They are staying into their 30’s these days, so making it too easy only encourages them to stay longer even if they don’t need to financially.
That's what my son did but we knew his plan was to move outAnecdotal warning - my wife moved home for a year post grad. Her parents did not charge her rent. She made a very modest salary year one. But since she was home with minimal expenses she saved enough for a down payment on a house in less than a year. Had she been paying rent then she would not have bought a house so soon.
This is the part I guess I really don't understand.It depends. Are they working on saving for a house? Getting a degree? Promising career? Then probably not.
If they are just a deadbeat with a dead end or no job? Probably would.
OK How do you get them to move out?This is the part I guess I really don't understand.
See, I agree with the first part. If there is a reason they are staying at home because they are in school, financial reason, other situation that makes sense, I'm not charging them rent. That doesn't matter what age they are. As others have pointed out, they've had older kids come back for various short term situations and loved having them there. I would hope I'm in the same situation where they both want to come home and I want them there.
But, if it's the bolded, then what does charging rent accomplish? It's not the money you need since you wouldn't charge them in other situations. Is it to teach responsibility? An impetus to get them to move? An impetus to get a job?
Having them move out accomplishes all those things more successfully, IMO. It's too much of a safety blanket at home that still allows and enables them to not take on full adult responsibility. I don't think charging rent changes that. My job as a parent is to love them and turn them into responsible adults to live their lives. If one of my kids is staying at home playing video games and not working or even if they have a job but little else going on, then I think the best way for me to help them is to get them out of the house and force them to grow up. Who knows, I might change my tune when I'm actually in the situation, but that's at least how I view it now.
How do you get them to pay rent?OK How do you get them to move out?
If they don't have a job? Or even if they do, how do you force them to pay rent? What if they say no? What do you do?With their dead end job salary
Then I go with your plan lolIf they don't have a job? Or even if they do, how do you force them to pay rent? What if they say no? What do you do?
That's my point. The same way you ask for rent, you ask them to move out. You would hope you can sit down and have the same conversation and explain the reason behind it. Of course, they could make it difficult and not move out or not pay rent (or say they will and not pay it) and then you're stuck with limited options to enforce it. But if it got to that point, then I think having them move is definitely the better option as well.Then I go with your plan lol
We're not really saying anything different though. The reason for charging them rent is to get them to move out.That's my point. The same way you ask for rent, you ask them to move out. You would hope you can sit down and have the same conversation and explain the reason behind it. Of course, they could make it difficult and not move out or not pay rent (or say they will and not pay it) and then you're stuck with limited options to enforce it. But if it got to that point, then I think having them move is definitely the better option as well.
I would do what I could to help them find a place, but I would make it clear that that's what needed to happen. I would sit down and have that conversation before sitting down and having a similar conversation asking for rent.
Great. Every situation is different. My daughter went back to school for her masters to teach. She was working care.com etc around her schedule. I’d rather her save her money. My other daughter stayed here while she worked for a year post college, saved That entire time and then traveled on her own around the world for 6 months. She paid 100% for the trip. She then moved to New York for a job Both are doing well and me taking rent wouldn’t have resulted in a different outcome other than them having less money. I didn’t need it
Love the idea too. Hope I never put it to use someday.
I can't wrap my mind around this. I was ready to move out by my sophomore year in high school and was counting down the hours until I could go off to college and be semi-independent. My parents were great and we have a very good relationship, but I've always wanted to be on my own. I don't even like staying in their house when we visit.They are staying into their 30’s these days,
Is it yellow?My 21 year old lives in a submarine.....rent doesn't get any more freer than that !!