"I'm Done Making My Kid's Childhood Magical" (1 Viewer)

[gianmarco]

IT'S NOT LIKE I ASKED MY SPERM TO PRODUCE TWINS WHEN I UNLEASHED THEM!!!!!1111

Most people don't get to 5 counting by 2's.

 

[Tennessee_ATO]

A child is to be a part of the family, not the center of it. Too many families are making their child the focus of the family and that misalignment of priorities is dangerous for both the child and the parents.

True this.

Doug -- This was the exchange.

I must have missed the #1 priority in those quotes. Can you bold it?

That's a pretty fair reading of the bolded.

I'm still looking. Or are you inferring stuff?

I'm inferring that "making the child the focus of the family" is the functional equivalent of "making the child the #1 priority of the family". If your take is that they aren't the same thing, knock yourself out.

 

[General Malaise]

What do the costumes cost? Something like this is an added cost, right?

Absolutely it's an added cost. They run $40ish apiece. We needed 1 for her regular class and 1 for her competition class. The older girls who are "all-in" have more and more elaborate costumes. It's not as much as the cost of a decent equipment for baseball and softball, at least at the younger ages.

I'm learning a lot here today. Thanks for your patience with me. How about makeup? Seems like they wear quite a bit of it. Is that an added cost or does the cover charge cover hair and makeup? Who applies it? Can your wife just lend your daughter her makeup?

 

[RBM]

What do the costumes cost? Something like this is an added cost, right?

Yeah that's a pain in the ###. The classes are pretty expensive already, but then those dopey outfits that they wear once for a 4 minute dance go for like 85-90 bucks. And we have two girls in this.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

What do the costumes cost? Something like this is an added cost, right?

Absolutely it's an added cost. They run $40ish apiece. We needed 1 for her regular class and 1 for her competition class. The older girls who are "all-in" have more and more elaborate costumes. It's not as much as the cost of a decent equipment for baseball and softball, at least at the younger ages.

I'm learning a lot here today. Thanks for your patience with me. How about makeup? Seems like they wear quite a bit of it. Is that an added cost or does the cover charge cover hair and makeup? Who applies it? Can your wife just lend your daughter her makeup?

If my kid wears makeup it's just something my wife puts on her. Not an added cost.

 

[phatdawg]

So if I'm following this thread, my kid is supposed to either do soccer or dance ... and baseball is boring. And dance is great ... or it isn't ... certainly not as great as soccer.

And something about helicopters.

 

[RBM]

What do the costumes cost? Something like this is an added cost, right?

Absolutely it's an added cost. They run $40ish apiece. We needed 1 for her regular class and 1 for her competition class. The older girls who are "all-in" have more and more elaborate costumes. It's not as much as the cost of a decent equipment for baseball and softball, at least at the younger ages.

I'm learning a lot here today. Thanks for your patience with me. How about makeup? Seems like they wear quite a bit of it. Is that an added cost or does the cover charge cover hair and makeup? Who applies it? Can your wife just lend your daughter her makeup?

My wife had to learn how to perfect the ballerina hair bun. No added cost for that stuff.

 

[msommer]

So if I'm following this thread, my kid is supposed to either do soccer or dance ... and baseball is boring. And dance is great ... or it isn't ... certainly not as great as soccer.

And something about helicopters.

No Helicopters. Helicopters are BAD!!! Especially the ones with the blue helmeted troops come to take our guns!!!

 

[Tennessee_ATO]

What do the costumes cost? Something like this is an added cost, right?

Absolutely it's an added cost. They run $40ish apiece. We needed 1 for her regular class and 1 for her competition class. The older girls who are "all-in" have more and more elaborate costumes. It's not as much as the cost of a decent equipment for baseball and softball, at least at the younger ages.

I'm learning a lot here today. Thanks for your patience with me. How about makeup? Seems like they wear quite a bit of it. Is that an added cost or does the cover charge cover hair and makeup? Who applies it? Can your wife just lend your daughter her makeup?

My wife bought some makeup for our daughter, but I think that was a "want to" thing instead of a "have to" thing. The kids have to wear something or they wash-out on stage (it really is amazing the difference), but at least at our studio it can just be regular ole makeup. My mother in law actually does our daughter's hair for dance -- she's way better at it than my wife.

 

[phatdawg]

Is she going to grow up to be a professional dancer? Speak fluent Spanish? Be an actor? Probably not, that's never been the litmus test for a parent. If it were, our kids will all work on getting the Smith file on their boss's desk by Friday or servicing the Johnson account instead of stuff like baseball, dance, football, etc.

Do they have any summer camps I can send my kids to where they can learn these skills?

 

[gianmarco]

servicing the Johnson account

Sounds dirty.

 

[General Malaise]

IT'S NOT LIKE I ASKED MY SPERM TO PRODUCE TWINS WHEN I UNLEASHED THEM!!!!!1111

Most people don't get to 5 counting by 2's.

2 from my first wife.

1 daughter with current wife.

1 drunken night in November that I'd really like to take back and OOOOPS, twins. SUPLIES!!!!!

 

[Doug B]

spoiling a kid doesn't have to be the same thing as making them a priority in your life.

Many people spoil their kids because they are not their first priority. Easier to get them to stop whining that way

This is a good point -- there are many ways to spoil a child. "Spoiling" can mean "buy 'em everything" but it can also mean "give in to even their most unreasonable whims", Basically, never teaching them the meaning of "no". Can be a subtle distinction, though.

 

[jomar]

I chuckle at my neighbors taking their kids to gymnastics/hockey/baseball/softball/basketball/cheerleading/dance. practices at 6:00 am, games at 12:30 in the morning, 4 days a week, 2 hours at a time, then traveling most weekends hours away for a tournament. leave on a Friday night, get back on sunday night, and start it all over again the next week. they have to pack up the entire family for the weekends away so little Billy has to spend his weekend watching little Susie's soccer tournament.

I have 3 boys, now 10-8-5. I loved to play sports as a kid and played through college but I don't push my kids into sports. I want them to get out of the house to get some exercise and be with other kids their age though so they do play. Rule #1 the wife and I have set is there will be no travel ball for anyone. you want to play a sport? fine, but you're playing rec league. my 8 yo plays basketball now, practices for one hour on Tuesday at 7:00 pm and games on Thursday at 7:00 pm. He'll play soccer or flag football in the spring. but we will not spend our weekends with the family traveling for sporting events, not gonna do it.

Instead, I am getting them into stuff that I can do with them and things they'll be able to do for the rest of their life. last year, I got them snowboarding lessons and I take them with me at least once a week where we spend an entire day on the slopes and hanging out in the ski lodge. great way for them to do something they love, get some exercise, be with other kids, I can do it with them, and it doesn't cost me an arm and a leg (although its not the cheapest thing). In the summer time, we play golf. I teach them basics at the range and we go out and play once a week, 9 holes on a Saturday or sunday evening normally. great way to spend time together and have fun. our summer weekend days are spent around our swimming pool, hanging out, and playing with neighbor kids rather than packing up the family for a 6 hour drive for some tournament for one of my kids.

I want them to have fun, get some exercise, and be with other kids but don't see the need to get involved with what youth sports and other youth activities has become.

 

[jomar]

IT'S NOT LIKE I ASKED MY SPERM TO PRODUCE TWINS WHEN I UNLEASHED THEM!!!!!1111

Most people don't get to 5 counting by 2's.

2 from my first wife.

1 daughter with current wife.

1 drunken night in November that I'd really like to take back and OOOOPS, twins. SUPLIES!!!!!

look up the word vasectomy. drunken nights will be much less worrisome.

 

[El Floppo]

spoiling a kid doesn't have to be the same thing as making them a priority in your life.

Many people spoil their kids because they are not their first priority. Easier to get them to stop whining that way

This is a good point -- there are many ways to spoil a child. "Spoiling" can mean "buy 'em everything" but it can also mean "give in to even their most unreasonable whims", Basically, never teaching them the meaning of "no". Can be a subtle distinction, though.

regardless of the distinction or definition, the point stands

 

[Ned]

I signed my 5 yr old for baseball. He doesnt wanna do it. I told him he had to do some activity and gave him a list of things and he said no for all of them. So yeah i basically forced him to do something but i didnt want him sitting on his ### all summer

Why doesn't he want to do it? Has he ever played before?

There are times you need to push your kids and this is probably one of those times. Assuming he hasn't played before, he has no idea what to expect so he may be scared. Just put him out there and see how he does, IMO. If he hates it later, at least he tried. He may surprise himself...

My oldest (8) always needs some nudging to participate in things and he almost always ends up having a blast.

Hes just scared of doing anything. He has a lot of anxiety and has trouble when other children are involved. Im trying to get him to open up but its a constant struggle. Hes also scared of the ball but I think thats less of an issue.

My 8yr old is like this too. He's very socially awkward. It was so bad in Kindergarten, he didn't speak a single word to a teacher or student until January. We were terrified he was going to fail Kindergarten because he wouldn't do the verbal testing. Over time by exposing him to various situations, especially sports, he's grown a ton. He's now to the point where he's been owning the entire backfield in indoor soccer; the coach will run a 4/2/1 when he's back there instead of a 3/3/1. It's been crazy rewarding to see his growth. He's still very shy, but not to the extremes we say 3-4 years ago.

All that to say.....Keep encouraging him and putting him into stuff like team sports and let him figure it out on his own.

 

[General Malaise]

IT'S NOT LIKE I ASKED MY SPERM TO PRODUCE TWINS WHEN I UNLEASHED THEM!!!!!1111

Most people don't get to 5 counting by 2's.

2 from my first wife.

1 daughter with current wife.

1 drunken night in November that I'd really like to take back and OOOOPS, twins. SUPLIES!!!!!

look up the word vasectomy. drunken nights will be much less worrisome.

Man, this is the VERY first time I've heard this! Thank you so much, Jomar.

 

[Doug B]

General Malaise: so ... how do the dance companies enforce the "no parents leave during the recital!" rule? I can understand not leaving in the middle of another team's routine, but what happens if you leave in between two dances? Stern letter? Stink eye? Kick your kid out of the program?

 

[General Malaise]

Anybody put their boy in dance?

 

[El Floppo]

Anybody put their boy in dance?

yep.

 

[Tennessee_ATO]

General Malaise: so ... how do the dance companies enforce the "no parents leave during the recital!" rule? I can understand not leaving in the middle of another team's routine, but what happens if you leave in between two dances? Stern letter? Stink eye? Kick your kid out of the program?

Parents can leave if they want with my daughter's studio. Kids can't because they are backstage. My daughter's studio has 3 performances spread over a weekend. I attend 1 with my folks. My inlaws attend another. My wife helps out backstage for 2 (so she can't watch it -- it really is chaos backstage) and watches the 3rd in the audience. Each show is about 2-2.5 hours long.

 

[General Malaise]

Anybody put their boy in dance?

yep.

Does he like it?

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

For my kid's dance recital, people can come and go at will. For music recitals the expectation is you stay the whole time.

 

[Tennessee_ATO]

Anybody put their boy in dance?

We may be. Our son worships his big sister so whatever she does he wants to do. He's already got some moves. I don't want anyone to misunderstand me -- I would prefer my daughter do something else, and that's true for my son, hence softball last year and soccer this year. I just need it to happen organically. If he really wants to do it, I won't try to stop him. He's a year away from being able to participate in much of anything yet though.

 

[SHIZNITTTT]

So, my twins play "competitive" baseball, basketball, and football. They are descent athletes I guess. They take private lessons (hitting, fielding, pitching, shooting, guarding, dribbling, and football lessons). We practice at a minimum whatever sport we are in 3 nights a week with games on the weekend. We travel almost every weekend unless they are playing at home, or in a tournament that is close to the Tulsa area. We have done this since the boys were 5 years old. They are 11 at the moment. They get home from school at 4 do homework, eat dinner and get ready for whatever sporting event we are going to be doing that night. Do they practice/game and get home around 9pm. Start it all again the next day. The boys play sports with the same 90% of kids on all their teams, and also go to school with the vast majority. They have made really good friends with the kids, and we have as well with the other parents. I mean you have to right you spend every waken hour with these people it seems. I won't go into the cost but it gets pretty pricey with gloves, bats, catchers gear each year, coaching lessons, coaches fees, tournament, and food/lodging. But, what else would we do if we didn't do all this #### on the weekend? Just stare at our kids, and ride bikes in the neighborhood? I enjoy going to other towns and watching my kids participate in sports. Seeing them run around and have FUN! We have spoken with both the boys and told them they can quit anytime they want, just not after they have started the season, they must finish the season. Will they grow up to be MLB, NFL, NBA players of course not, but they may get a nice scholarship to some unknown college that has three directions in it's name, and we will be the proudest parents ever when lil' Billy accepts his scholarship to Northwestern of the Southeast Technical College as it was his life long dream to play for the "Welders Baseball/Basketball/Football Team!"

 

[Steve Tasker]

Just popping in to confirm that dance moms are real and are terrifying. I know, because my mother was one of them.

My sister danced competitively for a number of years. She had practice quite literally from like 5-9 or 6-10 PM every night of the week, and full days on Saturdays or Sundays. Sometimes 7 days a week. Due to the fact that the studio was ~45 minutes from our house, my mom would either stay out there for the entire time (running errands, helping on committees/boards, etc.) or would come home late and my dad would go pick her up later at night. Most nights of the week, either my dad would make us dinner, or I'd make dinner for my little brother (I would've been 13-18ish, he would've been 9-14ish) because no one was home. I can only imagine how incredibly draining it must have been for my parents. The parents who were part of the boards/committees/whatever (including my mother) were expected to be at every recital. And it's not just 1 recital. They had 5 recitals over a 3-day span. Each recital is like 3-4 hours long. I wouldn't see my mother on those weekends.

They ended up winning plenty of national awards, one of her old studio-mates ended up on So You Think You Can Dance, one of them was a regular on Glee, some of them ended up on Broadway. Very impressive stuff, no doubt. But holy ####. You have no idea. The amount of time and money my parents spent. It's unfathomable. And the other parents. Brutal.

That said, dance competitions are if you're like a 16 year old (straight) male with nothing to do and free to wander the hotel. So it wasn't all bad, I suppose.

 

[Tennessee_ATO]

For my kid's dance recital, people can come and go at will. For music recitals the expectation is you stay the whole time.

We aren't to music yet. Piano will start in the fall. She wants to play the harp too. I have no clue where that's coming from. I'm going to ride that one out and hope it's a fleeting phase.

What ages have folks started their kids w/ golf and tennis? I don't think my daughter has the strength to properly swing a golf club, but she may be physically able to start swinging a tennis racket.

 

[General Malaise]

For my kid's dance recital, people can come and go at will. For music recitals the expectation is you stay the whole time.

We aren't to music yet. Piano will start in the fall. She wants to play the harp too. I have no clue where that's coming from. I'm going to ride that one out and hope it's a fleeting phase.

What ages have folks started their kids w/ golf and tennis? I don't think my daughter has the strength to properly swing a golf club, but she may be physically able to start swinging a tennis racket.

How old are your kids?

 

[General Malaise]

Just popping in to confirm that dance moms are real and are terrifying. I know, because my mother was one of them.

My sister danced competitively for a number of years. She had practice quite literally from like 5-9 or 6-10 PM every night of the week, and full days on Saturdays or Sundays. Sometimes 7 days a week. Due to the fact that the studio was ~45 minutes from our house, my mom would either stay out there for the entire time (running errands, helping on committees/boards, etc.) or would come home late and my dad would go pick her up later at night. Most nights of the week, either my dad would make us dinner, or I'd make dinner for my little brother (I would've been 13-18ish, he would've been 9-14ish) because no one was home. I can only imagine how incredibly draining it must have been for my parents. The parents who were part of the boards/committees/whatever (including my mother) were expected to be at every recital. And it's not just 1 recital. They had 5 recitals over a 3-day span. Each recital is like 3-4 hours long. I wouldn't see my mother on those weekends.

They ended up winning plenty of national awards, one of her old studio-mates ended up on So You Think You Can Dance, one of them was a regular on Glee, some of them ended up on Broadway. Very impressive stuff, no doubt. But holy ####. You have no idea. The amount of time and money my parents spent. It's unfathomable. And the other parents. Brutal.

That said, dance competitions are if you're like a 16 year old (straight) male with nothing to do and free to wander the hotel. So it wasn't all bad, I suppose.

But this is just an extreme example, right? Your sister must have been incredibly gifted to demand this sort of time and money. What's she doing with dance now? Coaching? Teaching? Stripping?

 

[General Malaise]

So, my twins play "competitive" baseball, basketball, and football. They are descent athletes I guess. They take private lessons (hitting, fielding, pitching, shooting, guarding, dribbling, and football lessons). We practice at a minimum whatever sport we are in 3 nights a week with games on the weekend. We travel almost every weekend unless they are playing at home, or in a tournament that is close to the Tulsa area. We have done this since the boys were 5 years old. They are 11 at the moment. They get home from school at 4 do homework, eat dinner and get ready for whatever sporting event we are going to be doing that night. Do they practice/game and get home around 9pm. Start it all again the next day. The boys play sports with the same 90% of kids on all their teams, and also go to school with the vast majority. They have made really good friends with the kids, and we have as well with the other parents. I mean you have to right you spend every waken hour with these people it seems. I won't go into the cost but it gets pretty pricey with gloves, bats, catchers gear each year, coaching lessons, coaches fees, tournament, and food/lodging. But, what else would we do if we didn't do all this #### on the weekend? Just stare at our kids, and ride bikes in the neighborhood? I enjoy going to other towns and watching my kids participate in sports. Seeing them run around and have FUN! We have spoken with both the boys and told them they can quit anytime they want, just not after they have started the season, they must finish the season. Will they grow up to be MLB, NFL, NBA players of course not, but they may get a nice scholarship to some unknown college that has three directions in it's name, and we will be the proudest parents ever when lil' Billy accepts his scholarship to Northwestern of the Southeast Technical College as it was his life long dream to play for the "Welders Baseball/Basketball/Football Team!"

Twins sounds exhausting. What were you thinking!!!!!

 

[El Floppo]

Anybody put their boy in dance?

yep.

Does he like it?

he liked it- was a couple of years ago when he was 5

he's always been into drumming, so the dance thing felt like a natural rhythm progression for him. it was some kind of hip-hoppy thing that he took at a local dance "academy". pretty innocuous and we just had to dress him in clothes he already had for the final performance.

but sweet jeebus, as you've been mentioning- the performance at the end with a billion different dance classes doing their routines was hari-kari inducing.

but really, other than that and walking him to class on a saturday morning, there wasn't much pain involved.

funny- all the boys in his 2nd grade class seem to know how to dance way more than we ever did (just went to a bday party... thankfully the parents made it an early dinner party, so we could all drink too while the kids ran around)

 

[Tennessee_ATO]

For my kid's dance recital, people can come and go at will. For music recitals the expectation is you stay the whole time.

We aren't to music yet. Piano will start in the fall. She wants to play the harp too. I have no clue where that's coming from. I'm going to ride that one out and hope it's a fleeting phase.What ages have folks started their kids w/ golf and tennis? I don't think my daughter has the strength to properly swing a golf club, but she may be physically able to start swinging a tennis racket.

How old are your kids?

5 and 3. The 3 year old (son) already has a full plate for awhile w/ speech and occupational therapy twice a week each. He was a little delayed developmentally due to chronic ear infections that limited his hearing. Once we took his adenoids (and inserted his 4th set of tubes) we solved the underlying problem. He's spent the last 18 months catching up. About the time we're able to phase that stuff out he'll be able to start the classic sports stuff.

 

[SHIZNITTTT]

So, my twins play "competitive" baseball, basketball, and football. They are descent athletes I guess. They take private lessons (hitting, fielding, pitching, shooting, guarding, dribbling, and football lessons). We practice at a minimum whatever sport we are in 3 nights a week with games on the weekend. We travel almost every weekend unless they are playing at home, or in a tournament that is close to the Tulsa area. We have done this since the boys were 5 years old. They are 11 at the moment. They get home from school at 4 do homework, eat dinner and get ready for whatever sporting event we are going to be doing that night. Do they practice/game and get home around 9pm. Start it all again the next day. The boys play sports with the same 90% of kids on all their teams, and also go to school with the vast majority. They have made really good friends with the kids, and we have as well with the other parents. I mean you have to right you spend every waken hour with these people it seems. I won't go into the cost but it gets pretty pricey with gloves, bats, catchers gear each year, coaching lessons, coaches fees, tournament, and food/lodging. But, what else would we do if we didn't do all this #### on the weekend? Just stare at our kids, and ride bikes in the neighborhood? I enjoy going to other towns and watching my kids participate in sports. Seeing them run around and have FUN! We have spoken with both the boys and told them they can quit anytime they want, just not after they have started the season, they must finish the season. Will they grow up to be MLB, NFL, NBA players of course not, but they may get a nice scholarship to some unknown college that has three directions in it's name, and we will be the proudest parents ever when lil' Billy accepts his scholarship to Northwestern of the Southeast Technical College as it was his life long dream to play for the "Welders Baseball/Basketball/Football Team!"

Twins sounds exhausting. What were you thinking!!!!!

Not one, but two slipped passed the goalie.

 

[General Malaise]

Anybody put their boy in dance?

yep.

Does he like it?

he liked it- was a couple of years ago when he was 5

he's always been into drumming, so the dance thing felt like a natural rhythm progression for him. it was some kind of hip-hoppy thing that he took at a local dance "academy". pretty innocuous and we just had to dress him in clothes he already had for the final performance.

but sweet jeebus, as you've been mentioning- the performance at the end with a billion different dance classes doing their routines was hari-kari inducing.

but really, other than that and walking him to class on a saturday morning, there wasn't much pain involved.

funny- all the boys in his 2nd grade class seem to know how to dance way more than we ever did (just went to a bday party... thankfully the parents made it an early dinner party, so we could all drink too while the kids ran around)

My mother made me go to cotillion when I was in 4th-6th grades. Had to dress up in a suit & tie, go to the country club and dance the fox trot or waltz or cotton eyed joe with girls wearing dresses and white gloves. This still comes out in therapy. I hated every mother ####### second of it and once got in trouble for hiding behind a ficus benjamina. The instructors were direct descendants of the Third Reich, of that I am certain.

 

[General Malaise]

For my kid's dance recital, people can come and go at will. For music recitals the expectation is you stay the whole time.

We aren't to music yet. Piano will start in the fall. She wants to play the harp too. I have no clue where that's coming from. I'm going to ride that one out and hope it's a fleeting phase.What ages have folks started their kids w/ golf and tennis? I don't think my daughter has the strength to properly swing a golf club, but she may be physically able to start swinging a tennis racket.

How old are your kids?

5 and 3. The 3 year old (son) already has a full plate for awhile w/ speech and occupational therapy twice a week each. He was a little delayed developmentally due to chronic ear infections that limited his hearing. Once we took his adenoids (and inserted his 4th set of tubes) we solved the underlying problem. He's spent the last 18 months catching up. About the time we're able to phase that stuff out he'll be able to start the classic sports stuff.

Don't rush it. He'll be fine. I was thinking your daughter was much older than 5 at first, but after reading you more, realized that wasn't the case.

I have a 2.5 year old daughter who is nowhere near ready for organized sports or dance or anything other than her pre-school, which she started last month. Demanding little cuss.

 

[GoBirds]

Brony, on 05 Jan 2015 - 1:48 PM, said:facebook and Pinterest didn't create the problem, but they can exacerbate it for those who were worried about keeping up with the Jonses to begin with.

Some people are just unbearable. It's funny how you get on Facebook to keep up with your good friends but now it seems its only these mom's and the random ### people that post.

 

[GoBirds]

General Malaise, on 03 Feb 2015 - 4:41 PM, said:

El Floppo, on 03 Feb 2015 - 4:38 PM, said:

General Malaise, on 03 Feb 2015 - 4:26 PM, said:

El Floppo, on 03 Feb 2015 - 4:18 PM, said:

General Malaise, on 03 Feb 2015 - 4:13 PM, said:Anybody put their boy in dance?

yep.

Does he like it?

he liked it- was a couple of years ago when he was 5

he's always been into drumming, so the dance thing felt like a natural rhythm progression for him. it was some kind of hip-hoppy thing that he took at a local dance "academy". pretty innocuous and we just had to dress him in clothes he already had for the final performance.

but sweet jeebus, as you've been mentioning- the performance at the end with a billion different dance classes doing their routines was hari-kari inducing.

but really, other than that and walking him to class on a saturday morning, there wasn't much pain involved.

funny- all the boys in his 2nd grade class seem to know how to dance way more than we ever did (just went to a bday party... thankfully the parents made it an early dinner party, so we could all drink too while the kids ran around)

My mother made me go to cotillion when I was in 4th-6th grades. Had to dress up in a suit & tie, go to the country club and dance the fox trot or waltz or cotton eyed joe with girls wearing dresses and white gloves. This still comes out in therapy. I hated every mother ####### second of it and once got in trouble for hiding behind a ficus benjamina. The instructors were direct descendants of the Third Reich, of that I am certain.

 

[Tennessee_ATO]

For my kid's dance recital, people can come and go at will. For music recitals the expectation is you stay the whole time.

We aren't to music yet. Piano will start in the fall. She wants to play the harp too. I have no clue where that's coming from. I'm going to ride that one out and hope it's a fleeting phase.What ages have folks started their kids w/ golf and tennis? I don't think my daughter has the strength to properly swing a golf club, but she may be physically able to start swinging a tennis racket.

How old are your kids?

5 and 3. The 3 year old (son) already has a full plate for awhile w/ speech and occupational therapy twice a week each. He was a little delayed developmentally due to chronic ear infections that limited his hearing. Once we took his adenoids (and inserted his 4th set of tubes) we solved the underlying problem. He's spent the last 18 months catching up. About the time we're able to phase that stuff out he'll be able to start the classic sports stuff.

Don't rush it. He'll be fine. I was thinking your daughter was much older than 5 at first, but after reading you more, realized that wasn't the case.

I have a 2.5 year old daughter who is nowhere near ready for organized sports or dance or anything other than her pre-school, which she started last month. Demanding little cuss.

We've been really lucky w/ out daycare. By the 2 year old room there is already a pretty set structure. They have lots of "add-on" activities, so my kids have done a very watered down version of soccer (basically just general skills) and my daughter is taking Spanish (soaking it up like a spronge, turns out starting a foreign language at a young age really helps, who knew?).

I'm not stressed about my son. We've firmly believed in ID'ing any potential issue, being honest with ourselves about it, then getting the proper help for it. He's got the resources he needs so it's all good. He's already getting 4 "practices" a week from a time/money standpoint so swapping out for sports will be smooth hopefully.

 

[Foosball God]

IT'S NOT LIKE I ASKED MY SPERM TO PRODUCE TWINS WHEN I UNLEASHED THEM!!!!!1111

Most people don't get to 5 counting by 2's.

2 from my first wife.

1 daughter with current wife.

1 drunken night in November that I'd really like to take back and OOOOPS, twins. SUPLIES!!!!!

look up the word vasectomy. drunken nights will be much less worrisome.

Man, this is the VERY first time I've heard this! Thank you so much, Jomar.

 

[El Floppo]

Anybody put their boy in dance?

yep.

Does he like it?

he liked it- was a couple of years ago when he was 5

he's always been into drumming, so the dance thing felt like a natural rhythm progression for him. it was some kind of hip-hoppy thing that he took at a local dance "academy". pretty innocuous and we just had to dress him in clothes he already had for the final performance.

but sweet jeebus, as you've been mentioning- the performance at the end with a billion different dance classes doing their routines was hari-kari inducing.

but really, other than that and walking him to class on a saturday morning, there wasn't much pain involved.

funny- all the boys in his 2nd grade class seem to know how to dance way more than we ever did (just went to a bday party... thankfully the parents made it an early dinner party, so we could all drink too while the kids ran around)

My mother made me go to cotillion when I was in 4th-6th grades. Had to dress up in a suit & tie, go to the country club and dance the fox trot or waltz or cotton eyed joe with girls wearing dresses and white gloves. This still comes out in therapy. I hated every mother ####### second of it and once got in trouble for hiding behind a ficus benjamina. The instructors were direct descendants of the Third Reich, of that I am certain.

backs-away-slowly.....

 

[General Malaise]

For my kid's dance recital, people can come and go at will. For music recitals the expectation is you stay the whole time.

We aren't to music yet. Piano will start in the fall. She wants to play the harp too. I have no clue where that's coming from. I'm going to ride that one out and hope it's a fleeting phase.What ages have folks started their kids w/ golf and tennis? I don't think my daughter has the strength to properly swing a golf club, but she may be physically able to start swinging a tennis racket.

How old are your kids?

5 and 3. The 3 year old (son) already has a full plate for awhile w/ speech and occupational therapy twice a week each. He was a little delayed developmentally due to chronic ear infections that limited his hearing. Once we took his adenoids (and inserted his 4th set of tubes) we solved the underlying problem. He's spent the last 18 months catching up. About the time we're able to phase that stuff out he'll be able to start the classic sports stuff.

Don't rush it. He'll be fine. I was thinking your daughter was much older than 5 at first, but after reading you more, realized that wasn't the case.

I have a 2.5 year old daughter who is nowhere near ready for organized sports or dance or anything other than her pre-school, which she started last month. Demanding little cuss.

We've been really lucky w/ out daycare. By the 2 year old room there is already a pretty set structure. They have lots of "add-on" activities, so my kids have done a very watered down version of soccer (basically just general skills) and my daughter is taking Spanish (soaking it up like a spronge, turns out starting a foreign language at a young age really helps, who knew?).

I'm not stressed about my son. We've firmly believed in ID'ing any potential issue, being honest with ourselves about it, then getting the proper help for it. He's got the resources he needs so it's all good. He's already getting 4 "practices" a week from a time/money standpoint so swapping out for sports will be smooth hopefully.

Yeah, my daughter had a nanny/caregiver from Mexico from age 6 months to 2.5 years. Between that and Dora, she's pretty good a teh Spanish.

 

[Steve Tasker]

But this is just an extreme example, right? Your sister must have been incredibly gifted to demand this sort of time and money. What's she doing with dance now? Coaching? Teaching? Stripping?

She was very gifted for sure. She had opportunities to go to college to "study" dance, whatever that means, but passed on it. She helped her old studio as an assistant for a few years but stopped doing that a few years ago. As far as I know, she does nothing dance-related now (she's 26 now). It was something that she excelled at and enjoyed, but I think she got burned out at the end. I was pretty burned out on soccer after playing 4-5 days a week during my high school days as well, so I can't blame her.

Really though, don't let your wives become dance moms. Don't.

 

[El Floppo]

I don't really get the "what is dance doing for you now" argument.

we all played sports to varying degrees... are you all playing professionally now?

 

[General Malaise]

I don't really get the "what is dance doing for you now" argument.

we all played sports to varying degrees... are you all playing professionally now?

Well, I think his sister was at a different level than most, which is why I was asking her level of inolvement now. Sounds like she coached a little after and now is burned out. I'm going to leave this thread now before I offend you further.

 

[El Floppo]

I don't really get the "what is dance doing for you now" argument.

we all played sports to varying degrees... are you all playing professionally now?

Well, I think his sister was at a different level than most, which is why I was asking her level of inolvement now. Sounds like she coached a little after and now is burned out. I'm going to leave this thread now before I offend you further.

I think somebody else raised the "why bother with dance when you're not going to do anything with it later" point earlier in the thread... I was belatedly replying to that.

fwiw- I don't give a #### about dance and don't really get offended about crap I don't give a #### about.

except when you say it. your words hurt. deep inside.

 

[General Malaise]

I don't really get the "what is dance doing for you now" argument.

we all played sports to varying degrees... are you all playing professionally now?

Well, I think his sister was at a different level than most, which is why I was asking her level of inolvement now. Sounds like she coached a little after and now is burned out. I'm going to leave this thread now before I offend you further.

I think somebody else raised the "why bother with dance when you're not going to do anything with it later" point earlier in the thread... I was belatedly replying to that.

fwiw- I don't give a #### about dance and don't really get offended about crap I don't give a #### about.

except when you say it. your words hurt. deep inside.

I blame the cotillion. It made me mean, like an abused junk yard dog.

 

[Steve Tasker]

I don't really get the "what is dance doing for you now" argument.

we all played sports to varying degrees... are you all playing professionally now?

Really the only reason I even said anything is because I witnessed the dance moms phenomenon first-hand. It's real, and it's terrifying. I don't even want to know what it looks like in today's age, with Facebook and a TV show, and all sorts of other nitpicky #### to make catty women gossip nonstop. There are obviously a ton of other opportunities for children to take dance classes that are not like the ones my sister took, and she was not taking part in extremely competitive stuff until she hit like age 11. She was identified as a talented dancer at a young age, she enjoyed it, and my parents let her pursue it.

I am grateful that my parents gave us the opportunity to pursue sports at a higher level. I was able to play "elite" soccer, high school soccer, etc., but I was also lucky enough to have teammates who lived close enough nearby where their parents could take me to practice and bring me home along with their kid(s). That wasn't an option for my sister. My father came to nearly all of my games (my mom, however, did not because she was too damn busy with dance).

 

[Steve Tasker]

Really though, my point is....stay far far away from competitive dance.

 

[Brony]

My mother made me go to cotillion when I was in 4th-6th grades. Had to dress up in a suit & tie, go to the country club and dance the fox trot or waltz or cotton eyed joe with girls wearing dresses and white gloves. This still comes out in therapy. I hated every mother ####### second of it and once got in trouble for hiding behind a ficus benjamina. The instructors were direct descendants of the Third Reich, of that I am certain.

haw haw - Nelson