"Keep Me In Your Heart" has a special meaning to me, I didn't mention it before but when my favorite uncle, Bill, died of lymphoma in 2009 and we (the whole bereaved family - my grandma, my dad, aunt and other uncles and a few of us 'youngsters') were sitting around my aunt's dining room table planning the memorial for him, it was left to me the music geek to come up with a song for his memorial slideshow video. I had a few selections for everyone's review, I can't remember what any of the others were but when "Keep Me In Your Heart" came on it just crushed everybody and was the obvious choice. I only knew it at all because I had caught that VH1 special that I posted earlier.
Bill was an awesome dude, slightly shiftless and more or less proud of it, absolutely hilarious and loving person. Great cartoonist, great guitar player, but he never got the breaks he was hoping for, particularly with his giant stack of cartoons, many of which I had scanned and put on the internet for him in the late 90's, but I didn't know what I was doing as far as getting people to actually see them, in those days.
Since then I've watched a good friend as well as my Dad die of cancer in similar fashions. I'm just about numb to it. But I only bring this up because one of our coworkers is knocking on heaven's door as we speak, he was just flown back home to Texas so that he can fade out with his family. I didn't really know the guy but outside of our big boss, Bob, it probably hit me the hardest, and that's one of the things that bothers me about the whole deal. My team is full of heartless jerks! But they're mostly likable enough on the level you need them to be at work, which is fine.
A quick aside, I'm the only contractor left on a team of ten, End User support and Infrastructure Operations at the Baltimore VA hospital and I am busting my hump to try and get hired on permanently. To be honest, I have been around to about a dozen other VAMCs, including extensively at the San Francisco VA where I technically started out, and this is the best IT shop I have seen in my travels. The shop in downtown Chicago where I just spent two weeks... is an ABSOLUTE. CLOWN. SHOW. Which is too bad, but fairly typical.
This is too long already and I haven't even gotten to the point(s)
I came back to Bmore early this year, from San Francisco, and the top of our organization looks like this --- Bob, our area manager who runs the group and is just absolutely awesome, part of what makes it a good place to work. Gerard is the "director of operations" and technically everyone's boss, and then there's Ryan who I worked with and for before, during my first stint here at the hospital (in the thick of COVID), is effectively the director of operations and is also my work bro, and he and Bob have been bending over backwards to get me this job. In GS terms, Bob is a 14, Gerard is a 13 and Ryan is a 12. I'm looking at coming on as an 11 but for now still a lowly contractor.
The story of Gerard is this, he was working at the VA in Dallas and got promoted into the GS13 spot here in Baltimore, back in the fall before I got back here. Apparently he made the decision - Mistake #1 - to move himself, by himself, from there to here and he badly injured his leg during that move. He ended up getting surgery at the VA here, and wouldn't you know it - is it Stir Crazy where they are at the VA hospital? - he got a blood infection. So his entire time here, he's been trying to be the boss and run things from home, while also trying to heal, and in and out of treatment for this infection. Mistake #2.
I met him very briefly when he came in to pick up a new iPhone a few months ago. He was in a wheelchair, a wisp of a man, clearly not with it and looked like hammered ****. He had no idea who I was even though I'd been there for 2-3 months at that point, and on many of his calls.
The team hates him because he tries to run stuff but can't handle it. My whole thing has been .. WHY IS THIS GUY TRYING TO WORK, AND NOT CONVALESCING?? In a federal job like this, you're not gonna get fired, or even demoted, I don't know but he was trying to prove himself and did a lot of snapping at people over MS Teams, and screwing up a lot of trouble ticket assignments. In my eyes, it was just sad, nobody really showed any empathy/sympathy at all, just trashed the guy constantly.
So now, he went back into the hospital as a patient a couple of weeks ago and officially as of this week they have thrown up their hands and sent him home to die with his family.
Bob tried to get a group of team members to go up to the ICU and visit him but most people skipped it, and the vibe was basically f that guy. I didn't go because in my mind I said, if I was him I wouldn't want me, some total stranger coming in and gawking at me, but I think that was a mistake and I should have gone. Because Bob was let down. Whatever, really. I talked to Bob about it yesterday and he understood, but I felt a little like a dumb kid.
To complicate matters this week - there are two people who are in charge of managing and imaging laptops and PCs, and they mostly fart around all day and work very slow. I came back in from Chicago on Monday and Ryan told me he wanted me to go in and do what they've been doing, since one of them is on vacation and they had 0 usable new systems ready to deploy at that point. I went in and absolutely crushed it, filling our shelves and making it clear that they are scrubs and I am a badass. So now I have to add these two to the handful of people on the team who are mad at me for doing their jobs better than they do. What can I say... I am auditioning here. AND I DON'T GOOF OFF AT WORK ANYMORE. That was the old me and the old me ended up in the gutter. Footballguys hi.
So that's my vent on the week, I hope it makes sense. Thoughts and prayers for poor Gerard are appreciated. None of us got a chance to know the guy, sadly we only experienced him at his worst, but I'm keeping him in my heart for a while.