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Tips for a 1st Time Dad: HELP! (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Skoo
- Start date
mr. furley
Footballguy
the smell in there is absolutely overwhelming. so if you're sensitive, chew on some charcoal or something.
mr. furley
Footballguy
print shirts with this on it for everyone in the delivery room so that every time you look up from your wife's face you have a reminder
RUSF18
Footballguy
Think I mentioned this in the NYC thread. My wife delivered at St. Barnabas in Livingston NJ. My highest recommendation. Awesome nurses, all private HUGE delivery rooms, all private rooms for the remainder of your stay.
edit: One downside to having such a big room. When I made a run for ice chips, I saw things as I walked back in. There was no way to avoid it.
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Ignoramus
Footballguy
They made me stay up top. They don't need to deal with two (three?) patients at once in there.
Dan Lambskin
Footballguy
Also she's gonna be "out of order" for 6-8 weeks
ChiefD
Footballguy
Ignoramus
Footballguy
Nick Vermeil
Footballguy
Sleep as much as possible. When she goes into labor eat a big meal and go to sleep. Both of you. Don't go to the hospital too early!
Nick Vermeil
Footballguy
Ignoramus
Footballguy
Yeah, 15 months in and my house does not smell like #### and I have enjoyed some convenience in the meantime. It's a $25 gamble -- either it works for you or it doesn't.
Skoo
Footballguy
Thanks fellas!
Private room: Check. New maternity wing of the hospital, everything is nice and new. When we went for a visit I think only 1 of the 10 rooms was in use.
Not looking at anything gross: Check. Hopefully. I plan on doing my absolute best to focus on my wife and that's it. I've never passed out from the sight of blood but I think it's a possibility.
And yeah, some people made me feel like I have to, but I have no interest in cutting any cords.
Private room: Check. New maternity wing of the hospital, everything is nice and new. When we went for a visit I think only 1 of the 10 rooms was in use.
Not looking at anything gross: Check. Hopefully. I plan on doing my absolute best to focus on my wife and that's it. I've never passed out from the sight of blood but I think it's a possibility.
And yeah, some people made me feel like I have to, but I have no interest in cutting any cords.
El Floppo
Footballguy
Uh... We had both of ours in a NYC hospital. They were out of private rooms for the first, but we got one for the second. Private room so much better, even though iirc it was 800/night
MattFancy
Footballguy
I went in with the same mentality. I ended it up doing it. Really wasn't a big deal and was a pretty easy thing.
El Floppo
Footballguy
Make sure you have that bag already packed for her and for you. Have every creature comfort you can think of for her: lotions, tooth/hair brush, favorite pillow, etc. She's going to be shooting a bowling ball out of her hoohah- make sure she's comfortable before, during and after.
Where are you guys doing this? nYU?
Eta... Excited for you- those first months are pretty amazing. Don't #### it up!
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Bull Dozier
Footballguy
Not sure if I shared my story in this thread, but I didn't cut the cord for either of my boys, and 15/13 years later, I don't feel like I missed an important milestone.
15 years later, the only thing I would change is I would have taken more pictures and video of various stages of life. No, I wouldn't spend thousands on a top end camera and shove it in the face of every person ever to share a moment of my life, or to video the entire 1st birthday party, but I have very little video of the kids when they were younger. I would do more of that just to look back at their various stages.
matttyl
Footballguy
Also, and this may be more for her than for you - but if you have a "birth plan", be prepared to completely throw it out the window or change it on a dime. We went in to the process weeks ahead of time with the mentality that we'd take whatever situation as it comes, as you never know what will happen. Good thing we did. He arrived 5 weeks early, was underweight, and the actual delivery was a bit scary as the cord itself was slightly wrapped around his neck - so his vitals and such were dropping during contractions or when she pushed (can't remember the exact details, but it was very tense in the room). Like I said above, she arrived at hospital around 10 AM. Things went very, very slow for about 10 hours. I was just sitting there reading a book and responding to e-mails/texts for most of the day. Then around 8:30 or so a nurse came in to check on her and my wife said she felt something kinda weird. Well, it was "go time".
Nurse told her not to push or that she'd "have a lot of paperwork to fill out." She pushed a button beside the bed and within 3 minutes there were ~10 people or so in the room. In the words of Ron Burgundy, "Boy, that escalated quickly!" The doctor was great (he actually also delivered my sister years prior) - he'd seen everything and was very calm during the entire situation. Given the seriousness of the situation, we were only a minute or so away from an emergency C-section. The doctor actually said, "if need be I can get him out in under 2 minutes" or something like that. So things were very tense, be ready for that. He came out, and immediately started crying/screaming, which was of great comfort to me as I was also a premmie, but so much so that my lungs weren't fully developed, so that was my fear with him. They cleaned him up and but him on my wife's chest for some "skin to skin" - but be ready if they don't allow it due to whatever reason. They actually only allowed it for about 2-3 minutes before needing to take him back to the nursery for tests and such.
TLDR - just be ready for about anything, and don't be so set in your "birthing plan" ways that you'll be upset if you need to alter them on a dime.
ChiefD
Footballguy
Forgot one. Make sure you eat. You are going to be sitting around a lot during the day, and before you know it you are standing there light headed because you forgot to eat. Take some time, go down to the cafeteria or have someone bring you something, and have a bite to eat.
Our hospital where we had our 3 kids had a Dad's room that was stocked with sodas, juice, water, granola bars, chips, sandwhiches, etc. It was great. I spent a lot of time in there loading up.
Our hospital where we had our 3 kids had a Dad's room that was stocked with sodas, juice, water, granola bars, chips, sandwhiches, etc. It was great. I spent a lot of time in there loading up.
mr. furley
Footballguy
i've yet to talk to a single "couple" that said "we had a birth plan and we followed it". literally every single time it has come up the answer has been "we had a birth plan but that went out the window minutes after the contractions started..." or some variation thereof.
even the staunchest hippies and feminists have admitted that the plan was great and it helped them mentally prepare for the day, but once you get blasted in the face on labor day you just go with what works right then.
RUSF18
Footballguy
Here's another cheap item I'd recommend as an underrated life saver...changing table/pad liners. Waterproof and washable. We keep one on top of the changing pad (with the fabric cover) at all times with the spares next to the diapers. This way if the kid pees as you're changing the diaper, or some #### escapes the diaper, it ends up on this liner instead of the pad cover. At 3am it's much easier to just toss this liner in the hamper and grab a replacement than taking the cover off the pad, going into a drawer/closet for a new one, putting the cover on, all while holding the baby.
ChiefD
Footballguy
You need to start thinking of diaper changing as a NASCAR pit stop. Have everything ready before the the baby comes in for 4 tires and some fuel.
Set up a timer next to your diaper changing station. Hit timer...change diaper....hit timer. You'll be amazed how much your time changes after about 30 days. Boogity boogity boogity!!!!!
Set up a timer next to your diaper changing station. Hit timer...change diaper....hit timer. You'll be amazed how much your time changes after about 30 days. Boogity boogity boogity!!!!!
Kanil
Footballguy
Similar story:
We showed up at the hospital at 4:00AM, and the kid was born at 4:50AM. When her water broke, it didn't all come out. Apparently the sack got twisted and stuck behind my son. When he came out, the "water balloon" behind him full of gross nasty stuff exploded out with him. There was a lady in the room who was not a nurse but was the one who brought in the cart with all the supplies for the doc. She had gotten in the room maybe 20 seconds before the kid came out and was a good 8 feet behind and to the side of the doc (11 o'clock if the doc is noon). Balloon exploded and landed all over her. It looked like something out of Aliens, just disgusting. She just stood there shocked. I can honestly say I spent a good 3 or 4 seconds just staring at her in disbelief before I looked down and saw my son.
Afterwards we have about 10 people in the room and I notice about 15-20 feet away, on the wall and about the 2 o'clock position is a trail of slimy blood, probably 2 feet long. It was amazing.
El Floppo
Footballguy
one other thing about this... make sure you store whatever you film/shoot in a consistent, easy to access and safe place.
phones, computers, cameras, cloud... stuff can go wandering and get lost PDQ. I had a bunch of video and images on a laptop and backup external drive that both got ruined from water damage during a fire in our building. lost documentation for most of the first 3 years of my son's life :(
El Floppo
Footballguy
Bull Dozier
Footballguy
Good call. I have the first 8 or so years of my kids life saved on an external hard drive in my office that is toast, and I have to try to figure out how to get stuff off of. Amazon prime is worth the cost just for the picture/video storage.El Floppo said:
Skoo
Footballguy
On Tuesday, March 28th at 9:53pm, Dylan Joshua was born! 7.2 pounds and 20.5 inches of pure cuteness!
Mom and the babe are both home and doing well, we're all slowly starting to adjust. So overwhelming. He's amazing.
http://imgur.com/a/HO787
Thanks for all the tips everyone! Now the real fun begins!!
Mom and the babe are both home and doing well, we're all slowly starting to adjust. So overwhelming. He's amazing.
http://imgur.com/a/HO787
Thanks for all the tips everyone! Now the real fun begins!!
saintfool
Dead sexy
ChiefD
Footballguy
KarmaPolice
Footballguy
Congrats, skoo!!
KarmaPolice
Footballguy
Yeah, baby swings are $$.
I also found some apps on the phone that had some great white noise sounds that helped the kiddo when I was rocking her.
Our first one was an odd one - he loved the sound of the vacuum cleaner and that was about all he would fall asleep to when he was upset. Our nephew had to have the noise of the exhaust by the stove while his parents were walking around and trying to calm him.
I also found some apps on the phone that had some great white noise sounds that helped the kiddo when I was rocking her.
Our first one was an odd one - he loved the sound of the vacuum cleaner and that was about all he would fall asleep to when he was upset. Our nephew had to have the noise of the exhaust by the stove while his parents were walking around and trying to calm him.
mr. furley
Footballguy
Skoo
Footballguy
Thanks so much guys! Lots of good info for an in-over-his-head new dad in here. Man, this first week has been quite a ride!
Skoo
Footballguy
ChiefD
Footballguy
One of my favorite memories of my first son being born was that he was born during football season. On Sunday's I would just hold him for hours between feedings just watching him....watching football....watching him.....
Didn't get that as much when the other two were born because there was always another kid to entertain. Miss those Sundays.
Didn't get that as much when the other two were born because there was always another kid to entertain. Miss those Sundays.
jb1020
Footballguy
RUSF18
Footballguy
So you're a month and a half in...how's it going?
I thought of this thread as our 3.5 month old is making the apparently normal turn from champion sleeper during the day and night to....well, at least she's still really cute and sweet when she's content.
I've sought out advice online but the suggested plans for fixing this are so far from what our established routine is that I can't even imagine where to begin.
I thought of this thread as our 3.5 month old is making the apparently normal turn from champion sleeper during the day and night to....well, at least she's still really cute and sweet when she's content.
I've sought out advice online but the suggested plans for fixing this are so far from what our established routine is that I can't even imagine where to begin.
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
Unless the kid is sick, leave them in the crib and do not interfere - let them cry... I understand the difficulty here and we botched this on our first kid. The younger one we've left in the crib at all times (unless sick) during the night and he sleeps great, now a little over one... Older one spends most nights in our bed bc we always went running when he cried when he was younger.
I can't say it enough, and every parent on Earth fights it, but let the kid cry in the crib unless there is something wrong.
mr. furley
Footballguy
meh, growth spurt. kids ride the coaster of "sleeps like a champ" / "my parents haven't slept in days" for a while. if you're lucky they level off around 1 year. if not, 2-3 years. i've heard longer.
my oldest was great right out of the gate. she got in a routine and stuck with it consistently. she sleeps like a log now. up between 6:30 - 6:45 most days, otherwise no problems.
what worked for me was to get a routine fixed every day/night. bottle, hold em for a while, read, rock slowly. 20-30 minutes, tops. then bed. no lights, no flashing games, no crazy activity going on around them. swaddle em up, down in the crib, walk out. no lingering, no lurking, no checking back in.
it's rough to jerk around with their routines (not sure how consistent you are but that seems to be a consistent theme with people i've talked to who had trouble at night) too much. babies need consistency and routine as much as possible. they make the schedule for a while. you can start to bend it to your will over time but fighting it too much early is futile.
Skoo
Footballguy
All is well man, thanks for asking!
Obviously as a new dad I have no frame of reference, but he's been great so far. He's up over 11 pounds and is getting chunky which makes him even cuter. Started smiling a week or two ago. It's a really great feeling to see them recognize you and then smile. Incredible actually. The past few days he started doing those "coo" sounds a lot as well. Have only had a few rough nights, otherwise he's up to sleeping up to about 5 hours, at least for his first sleeping shift (9:00-2:00ish) which people tell me is great.
It sounds so cheesy to say, but every day when I come home from work there's a new development. He looks different, sounds different, is moving differently, something. Makes it hard to go to work, but gives you something to look forward to when the day is over.
Hope your little one starts sleeping better soon! I'll be reading for any tips you get just in case!
Skoo
Footballguy
El Floppo
Footballguy
We were not cry it out parents, and suffered only in that the kids took longer to go through the night successfully. But they were always, and still are, creatures of the routine we established.. similar to furls. Since the baby years, They've always gone to sleep on their own and almost the second their heads hit the pillow.
Just a reminder that not letting them cry it out doesn't mean they're not going to have good sleep habits later. Every method works... Ultimately it's what works for you as parents that's important.
RUSF18
Footballguy
Yeah we're still sticking with a routine, and the night is more about her waking up more due to her own movements as we're transitioning her out of being swaddled. So she needs to be soothed back to sleep. It's more interrupted sleep for us, which is fine and just what we are getting more used to.
What's harder is the daytime napping being cut way down in length, and she is getting overtired and starting to scream bloody murder. We'll give her a small bottle to calm her down but we're at the max of what the pediatrician recommends in terms of daily formula so it's managing the growth spurt. Have her 4-month checkup in a couple weeks and we'll probably start with rice cereal around then, so hopefully that helps.
