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Upsetting Situation and Difficult Decisions (1 Viewer)

Statcruncher said:
Sucks, but you dropped 20k and signed a contract with no written guarantee of future placement. Dumb. Exiling your child from something they love because you're butt-hurt over making a stupid leap of faith is worse than dumb, it's petty and childish.

In full disclosure my children stayed at home with their mom until they were actual school age so I've never had to deal with what you are going through.
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Oh man, your kids are sooo hosed.  They missed all that elite preschoolin'

I hope you're ready to support them for the rest of their lives.

 
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Statcruncher said:
Sucks, but you dropped 20k and signed a contract with no written guarantee of future placement. Dumb. Exiling your child from something they love because you're butt-hurt over making a stupid leap of faith is worse than dumb, it's petty and childish.

In full disclosure my children stayed at home with their mom until they were actual school age so I've never had to deal with what you are going through.
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A group of 16 other families did the same thing last year, another huge group of families did the same thing this year, these aren't "dumb" people, in fact, most are much more intelligent than you or I. Those numbers are only at our location, there are quite a few other locations with a lot of highly intelligent people making the same mistakes. A school has deceptive sales tactics, we fell victim, as did others... Withholding my son from there bc of their malicious practices is something that I'm struggling with, to call it petty and childish is a little extreme - there are equivalent replacements in the neighborhood, it just upsets me taking him from here. 

 
If Einstein had signed a contract expecting something that wasn't included in the contract, I'm sorry but in that case he would be dumb. Obviously if that many families made that mistake the sales pitch must have been pretty effective. That being said, it was a dumb choice by all of them.

And I'm sorry, it is childish and petty. Your son did nothing wrong but you're considering withholding him from something he loves because you made a mistake and feel cheated. That's the very definition of petty and childish.

 
fantasycurse42 said:
A group of 16 other families did the same thing last year, another huge group of families did the same thing this year, these aren't "dumb" people, in fact, most are much more intelligent than you or I. Those numbers are only at our location, there are quite a few other locations with a lot of highly intelligent people making the same mistakes. A school has deceptive sales tactics, we fell victim, as did others... Withholding my son from there bc of their malicious practices is something that I'm struggling with, to call it petty and childish is a little extreme - there are equivalent replacements in the neighborhood, it just upsets me taking him from here. 
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So it was written somewhere that you would get preferential placement in the advanced PreK program?

 
Tom Skerritt said:
So it was written somewhere that you would get preferential placement in the advanced PreK program?
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Enough on StatCruncher's hot take. I'll replace this with something he loves equally. Hot takes like that actually make me feel better that I'm making the right decision. 

We did get preferential placement, I spoke to someone fairly high up in the NYDOE who explained we were on the priority list. The issue is, they placed 32 families on this list and there were only 15 spots, they grossly misrepresented this to us and the 32 other families in the program this year. The 15 that got in over the other 17 were lucky, it was essentially a lottery amongst the 32 families - They misrepresented that A) there would be more spots than the 15 B) there would be less applicants than the 32. 

 
fantasycurse42 said:
Enough on StatCruncher's hot take. I'll replace this with something he loves equally. Hot takes like that actually make me feel better that I'm making the right decision. 

We did get preferential placement, I spoke to someone fairly high up in the NYDOE who explained we were on the priority list. The issue is, they placed 32 families on this list and there were only 15 spots, they grossly misrepresented this to us and the 32 other families in the program this year. The 15 that got in over the other 17 were lucky, it was essentially a lottery amongst the 32 families - They misrepresented that A) there would be more spots than the 15 B) there would be less applicants than the 32. 
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Do you have ANY of this in writing?

And how many spots did they originally represent?

 
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Surprise him with a trip to Disney World. On the way to the airport, yell "PSYCHE" and return home. He'll forget all about the pre-school.

 
This thread:  goldmine

My advice..find out where you are on the list and start killing those that got in and are in front of you.  You kid really loves that place, so its worth it.

 
fantasycurse42 said:
Enough on StatCruncher's hot take. I'll replace this with something he loves equally. Hot takes like that actually make me feel better that I'm making the right decision. 

We did get preferential placement, I spoke to someone fairly high up in the NYDOE who explained we were on the priority list. The issue is, they placed 32 families on this list and there were only 15 spots, they grossly misrepresented this to us and the 32 other families in the program this year. The 15 that got in over the other 17 were lucky, it was essentially a lottery amongst the 32 families - They misrepresented that A) there would be more spots than the 15 B) there would be less applicants than the 32. 
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I am not sure about grossly. Sounds like they told you it was nothing they could guarantee. Sounds like they delivered on what was promised. Sounds like they pitched it in a way that made you want to believe it was a done deal.

All over and done with.

It really isn't that big of a deal. Sure, the kid has friends. Guess what? He will make new friends at the new place. He will most likely love it just as much as the old. Kids that age are super resilient even if they will cry and whine about wanting something else.

 
Methinks I need to open a pretentious NY daycare

aside from shelling out 20 racks I wonder what some of these MILFs might be willing to do to get little Johnny into the school 

 
keep looking. 

there are universal pre-ks still popping up all over the place in the city. seems like every one of these new "luxury" buildings have a "community" space instead of the low-income rental percentage they were meant to have. 

what about pre-k at your zoned school? too late?

and yeah- he'll get over the move the second he starts playing with blocks in the new place. 

 
El Floppo said:
keep looking. 

there are universal pre-ks still popping up all over the place in the city. seems like every one of these new "luxury" buildings have a "community" space instead of the low-income rental percentage they were meant to have. 

what about pre-k at your zoned school? too late?

and yeah- he'll get over the move the second he starts playing with blocks in the new place. 
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The problem is my neighborhood... Prob the hottest neighborhood in NYC for families. Zoned school has 36 spots and over 500 applicants, of which 130 are priority (basically the only ones who got in are siblings), same for our 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th choice. 

They sent us an offer letter for this piece of garbage daycare a mile from my house. After visiting and seeing a crackhead panhandling 30 feet from the school entrance and I couldn't do it. We're waitlisted for everything else. I think he'll be accepted into this Catholic School, which we visited and it looked very nice, but they have one spot left and require a $3k non-refundable deposit. My wife wants to pay it and worst case take the loss if he gets into one of the others off the waitlist. The whole school situation in this city sucks so bad.

 
Tom Skerritt said:
Do you have ANY of this in writing?

And how many spots did they originally represent?
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This info was directly from the BOE. 15 spots, 32 priority applicants.

They sold everyone on the same thing. In their application they ask if you intend on sending your child to PreK there - they informed us (and everyone else) that they had 20 interested on 21 spots. They also noted that the prior year they had 18 come in from the program (everyone who wanted in got in and it will not be different this year). 

This was some seriously deceptive ####. 

My wife has gotten in touch with one other parent in our class and three from other classes, they're all discussing recourse. If we all heard the same thing and had the same interpretation, it wasn't how we understood it, it was how it was explained.  

 
Seriously get over it.  Try the pre-school scene on the UWS if you want horror stories. 

I can't wait to see the #####ing if you don't get into your zoned K or get a freaking 98 on your G&T test. 

 
fantasycurse42 said:
No

No

You're reading wildly incorrect. The dilemma is simple, my son loves a place, but I don't want to send him there bc they are liars.
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I agree with others that your son will probably barely notice - he may love the new school better.  The bigger picture here is you need to learn now that being a parent isn't always about doing what the kids wants and it also isn't always about making them happy.  It's a tough parental lesson to learn and unforunately not all parents learn it. 

 
There are multiple facets of this story where the OP comes out looking like a doosh.  Not sure which one is the worst, though.  

 
fantasycurse42 said:
The problem is my neighborhood... Prob the hottest neighborhood in NYC for families. Zoned school has 36 spots and over 500 applicants, of which 130 are priority (basically the only ones who got in are siblings), same for our 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th choice. 

They sent us an offer letter for this piece of garbage daycare a mile from my house. After visiting and seeing a crackhead panhandling 30 feet from the school entrance and I couldn't do it. We're waitlisted for everything else. I think he'll be accepted into this Catholic School, which we visited and it looked very nice, but they have one spot left and require a $3k non-refundable deposit. My wife wants to pay it and worst case take the loss if he gets into one of the others off the waitlist. The whole school situation in this city sucks so bad.
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keep looking. my wife ended up finding a ton of places that were brand new and still looking for kids (gov money) for their pre-k spots. but yeah- maybe my packed evil hood is different than yours. and maybe a year makes all the difference (the universal pre-k was brand new last year).

my older kid's PS has 1 pre-k class of 18. yeah... hundreds of kids applying and more like us that didn't bother because we're out of zone and out of luck for there. we stayed in the private route and fortunately the younger one got the gt score to get her into the K there. it works out. or you can finally move to the suburbs and not worry about that and the scary city people.

 
fantasycurse42 said:
The problem is my neighborhood... Prob the hottest neighborhood in NYC for families. Zoned school has 36 spots and over 500 applicants, of which 130 are priority (basically the only ones who got in are siblings), same for our 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th choice. 

They sent us an offer letter for this piece of garbage daycare a mile from my house. After visiting and seeing a crackhead panhandling 30 feet from the school entrance and I couldn't do it. We're waitlisted for everything else. I think he'll be accepted into this Catholic School, which we visited and it looked very nice, but they have one spot left and require a $3k non-refundable deposit. My wife wants to pay it and worst case take the loss if he gets into one of the others off the waitlist. The whole school situation in this city sucks so bad.
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Sounds like a great neighborhood.

 
You are right, I've never lived in NYC and know nothing about it. Not trying to kick a dead horse here, but when I had to relocate to the corporate office my wife and I sat down and drew a circle on the map around the office. We then highlighted the best school districts and researched them until we found the district we wanted to live in and only looked for houses there. The houses in the good district were about 15% more than those 2 streets over in another school district but we figured it was a small price to pay. Apparently we were right. 

 
Sammy3469 said:
Seriously get over it.  Try the pre-school scene on the UWS if you want horror stories. 

I can't wait to see the #####ing if you don't get into your zoned K or get a freaking 98 on your G&T test. 
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his neighborhood is hot. like, HOT hot. 

you wouldn't understand. 

how about we wait until they get a 99 on the gt test and then lose the lottery to get into anderson, etc. :popcorn:  ... (it sucks, btw).

 
Statcruncher said:
You are right, I've never lived in NYC and know nothing about it. Not trying to kick a dead horse here, but when I had to relocate to the corporate office my wife and I sat down and drew a circle on the map around the office. We then highlighted the best school districts and researched them until we found the district we wanted to live in and only looked for houses there. The houses in the good district were about 15% more than those 2 streets over in another school district but we figured it was a small price to pay. Apparently we were right. 
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I live in a top school district. The problem is the system itself, the best schools are widely overcrowded and being in the district still doesn't guarantee a spot in those schools anymore. 

PS 8 is a perfect example. One of this best public schools in the city, wildly overcrowded, filled with kids of very successful parents. PS8 is being rezoned and a good portion of the kids are being sent to a real ####ty school surrounded by housing projects .5 miles away. 

 
Sounds like it's time to move to a place where your kids can actually get into a great school. Sounds like a bad situation and I'm sorry you're having to deal with it.

 
Statcruncher said:
Sounds like it's time to move to a place where your kids can actually get into a great school. Sounds like a bad situation and I'm sorry you're having to deal with it.
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I hope the children are able to survive this incredible hardship.

 
Sorry to hear fc - this must suck to think you're set and now the timing is such that you are back at square one with much more limited options.  Why is your son's cohort in the 2-3 group twice the size of their pre k class?  That's what isn't making much sense to me.

 
elbowrm said:
Sorry to hear fc - this must suck to think you're set and now the timing is such that you are back at square one with much more limited options.  Why is your son's cohort in the 2-3 group twice the size of their pre k class?  That's what isn't making much sense to me.
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It is 3 classes in the 2 - 3 program... Older 2's M/W/F Older 2's T/TH and Young 3's

The PreK program is one larger class and a lot of the Older 2's are still too young. This is why the numbers made sense to all when signing up.

 
listen brohans kids love a lot of things at that age honest kids love stuff like mcdonalds playland which is sort of like loving the actual physical form of ebola because it is a germ warfare factory and i get sick just even thinkin on it so long story short what i am saying is that you are probably a lot more worked up than your boy is he will make a ton of friends wherever he goes that is just how kids are at that age so just get to gettin on and the less you let it bug you the less it will bug him take that to the bank bromigo 

 
I'm imaging the Allen Iverson interview, but instead of "practice" and "game", we change it to...

"We talkin' 'bout PreK man. Not High School! Not College! PreK! Not Harvard! Not Yale! We talkin' 'bout Pre-Kindergarten!"

 
How fast can boy thresh wheat? I have job for strong boy on wheat farm. I pay salary in wheat and boy's mattress made of wheat. For breakfast my wife make wheat. You bring boy to farm, yes?

 
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