About 9 years ago, my oldest was about ready for to leave her pre-school to go to kindergarten and we needed to decide where she would go. My wife grew up in the suburb we live in and she wanted her to go to the same school she and all her family did, a small Catholic school. I grew up going to public schools all my life. I was prejudiced against private schools because it seemed to me that the kids I knew that were 'really screwed up' were at the private schools. Now, that may not be a cause and effect there but it was my impression. Further, we live in a very good school district and why should I already pay for that in taxes and then pay more to send my kid to another school?
I was still not thrilled about sending her there but I softened after I happened to end up talking to several clients of mine who were teachers in public schools and they all sent their own children to Catholic schools. The main point they all had was classroom size but they have several others points as well.
My daughter went to the Catholic school and my two boys followed. Now, I think it was the best decision we have made for our kids to date.
There are a number of reasons for this but one that I can tell a story about that helps explain why is in a family we became very good friends with which started with our daughters being friends at that pre-school. Their daughter went to public school while ours went to Catholic school. Every July 4th, our two families spend the day together. A couple of years ago, my friends daughter invited one of her friends over. It struck me that both her and her friend did not look their age. They just seemed to carry themselves and dress and act with an older 'maturity' if I did not know how old they were, I would have guess they were a couple years older than my daughter even though they were the same age. Afterwards, my daughter told me that they were talking and the other two girls were doing what girls do and basically gossiping about who liked who and who was dating who, etc. At one point they obviously realized that they were leaving my daughter out so they asked "So, who is dating who at Catholic school?" and my daughter replied "Uh, we don't really do that at Catholic school." One of the best things I have ever heard in my life. Further, in talking to my friend, I found out that their daughter had been going through basically HELL at school. The whole drama of girls hating on girls and then even a boy breaking up with her and telling her that she should kill herself. Meanwhile, my daughter is friendly or friends with all the girls in her grade and I know most of them- and of course nothing is perfect and there has been drama with friends but no where near the level our friends daughter had endured.
I think a huge difference from the schools is that at our school, most of the families are intact. Through my daughter and older sons grades (I don't know my younger sons class well yet) I can think of two families that are divorced. All the parents are engaged and involved in their kids lives. They are not absent or neglectful. I think that this makes a huge difference.
I can also see it in the times I have interacted with kids in the neighborhood- where they swear like sailors, try to act tough (mumbling 'f you' type stuff) and no respect for others versus the consistent "Hello Mr. Chadstroma" with respect for all these boys in my daughters grade.... all last year, where I would say "Hey bud, how are you?" and then think.... who the heck was that kid?
As I only knew a couple of the boys (mostly those that had younger siblings) since you kind of only end up knowing the family and kids of our kids sex.... I know most of the girls and their families in my daughters grade and then I know most of the boys and their families for my sons grade.... but not the girls in my sons grade. I later found out, from our friends daughter who knows a few of the kids from the Catholic school that "all the boys are scared of you." which may account for them all being so respectful. lol
My daughter graduates Jr High this year. I very much do not want her to go to the public high school even though it is supposed to be like a top 50 high school in Illinois. I much rather her go to one of the Catholic schools but I don't think we can afford it. We are in that box of making too much money to get a meaningful 'need based' tuition assistance and not enough that it doesn't make a huge dent into our family finances. I am not looking forward to it. I have no interest in public schools.