RUSF18
Footballguy
Let me chime in on this here because I think it's really important. Last week (so early in the 4th week of having our girl) I could tell that the night wakeups/feedings/pumping was starting to get to my wife a bit more and more and she was starting to have a whole other level of a hard time with it. There was a mini breakdown a couple of days later. Behind a wall of tears she said something like "I just don't want to be feeding her at 2am and feel like I'm a terrible mother for thinking that."Just had my older son's 6th birthday party this weekend. Can't believe how fast it goes by.
The best advice I got as a first time parent was that there are going to be times you're stressed out and worried that you're doing everything wrong. That's totally normal. No one tells you that, they say being a parent is so magical and amazing. It is, but it's also really hard at times so don't beat yourself up if you're wondering why it doesn't seem all that magical and amazing sometimes. You're going to do a bunch of stuff you swear right now you'll never do, like let them eat microwaved processed chicken nuggets for breakfast. That's ok too.
I told her how NO ONE wants to be waking up in the middle of the night but everyone does because you have to, and it's perfectly okay for those to be separate thoughts. She had put these ridiculously high and unrealistic expectations on herself that she couldn't possibly meet, and in her mind for a few days not loving every single aspect of motherhood was her failing. Once she heard me say that I wasn't loving the middle of the night wakeup/feed process either, it was like a wave of calm came over her and she's been in an entirely different emotional state.
So it was something I didn't really think ever needed to be said, but it obviously did in my case and maybe it will in yours. Always good to keep in mind that the hormones are still racing well after delivery.